CHARADES (Namjin.)

CHAPTER NINE

Seokjin.

The next time I wake up, it's almost midday. The temperature in the room is a bit higher, and I can tell the sun has been present for a few hours. I take a few more seconds before I realize the events leading up to this morning, why I am well rested, and somehow feeling happy. I finally get it, and I raise my head hoping to find Namjoon beside me, only to be met with the crumpled sheets on his side of the bed.

I can't possibly say it, but I know a part of me is disappointed. I know it would satisfy something inside of me to wake up next to him, or with him. It would fulfill some of my inner desires to spend the few minutes of my morning with him, but I know I am dreaming too big, I am hoping the impossible again. It's sad almost, how the first person to show me affection in the slightest has me almost at my knees.

I don't want to admit I like Namjoon, that would make me easy, just going with whatever I have because they are possibly nice than everyone who has ever been in my life. My mind veers off to last night, or rather this morning, when we spent a while just conversing. How nice and funny he was. How he put a smile on my face in the middle of the night, and how his thoughtful words got me thinking about a lot of things. I am confused at that. I don't know if my mind was playing tricks me with how he looked at me, or if it really happened. I am not sure anymore if we even held hands, or if it was all in my mind.

I shake my head of my desperate thoughts and push back the covers, getting out of bed. My internal confusion isn't important right now, I need to find Namjoon and see if he is ok, he is the reason I am here, and being clueless about his where bouts is failing at my responsibility.

I put on the comfy slippers he gave me the previous night, before patting down the hallway. I knock gently on the bathroom and check personally when I receive no answers, and only after I ensure he is actually not in, do I leave for the other rooms. I am about to check the living room, when I hear voices from the kitchen.

It's a bit muffled, and low, so I move closer to the door to find out what is happening. Namjoon is alone in the kitchen, his bare back facing me. He seems to be making something on the stove, his phone that is on loud speaker by the side. I am entranced by his half naked body, the bulging muscles of his back, broad fit shoulders, and the muscular but small waist that holds his low riding sweatpants. I wonder how he looks from the front, if he has a v line, perhaps a dick print, that shows from his sweats. Fuck, that has me feeling things...

"You let him go out to the farm again?"

"You know how he is sweetie, he doesn't like sitting a round, doing nothing."

"Mum, he is sick, he is not just sitting around, he is resting, and if he is bored, he could start preparation for his college admission. It's coming up soon."

"He doesn't want to go."

"What, he doesn't want to go to school anymore? He has wanted this since forever."

"Joon-ah, sweetie, I think your brother fears it might be too expensive. He complains all the time about how your father and I are spending too much money on his medicine, and how hard your working for this already. He even insists on helping out in the farm with the other workers, just so he doesn't seem like a burden. I don't know what to do son, your father and I have tried talking to him, but he won't budge. I am scared he might be doing harm to himself. Will you please talk to him?"

A defending silence follows, the woman on the other side of the phone sounding like she is on the verge of tears. I don't even know why I am still here listening. One moment I was worried about him, the next I am deep into his private conversation, and I turn around to leave, ashamed at my rude interference.