CHARADES (Namjin.)

CHAPTER FORTY FIVE.

Namjoon.

The scene from a few minutes ago won't leave my mind, I am concerned but scared, worried but curious. Whatever Seokjin wanted to say had looked heavy, emotionally and mentally. It looked like it hurt him, like it had been hurting him for a while, but what peaked at my interest more was the look in his eyes, the apology and the regret, the fear and utter anxiety all rolled up into one, clearly setting a panic for him.

The way he had hid himself into Jeons arms and sobbed so bitterly was something, and immediately my head had started pulling strings together, desperate for an answer. I've always held the answers and this lack of them isn't sitting well with me. I've thought about almost everything that there could be, about anything that he might have wanted to tell me, but I've come up confused, decisive, and generally just short of an explanation, or maybe I've gotten the answer but I don't want to accept it.

It can't be, it surely can't be

By the time I get home, I am basically crazy, I am staggering on my feet, and the weight of everything that has happened today is starting to take a toll on me. I can bare all that we said, all that we did in that elevator, but it's the burden of not knowing the last part that kills me, or perhaps it's the  truth that I already know that is eating me away.

"Where did you go? We finished pretty early but Taehyung said you had something to do." Yoongi says as he comes into the living room, already dressed into his pajamas. I look at the clock and I realize it's almost 10p.m, how long were we stuck in that elevator?

"Uh, I was at KSJ." He raises a brow, "you didn't leave the building?" He questions again, gradually noting my disheveled appearance. My suit is untucked, tie loosely hanging and sleeves rolled. My hair is unruly from the many times I have ran a hand through it, and my face holds the day's stress.

"I went to talk to Seokjin." He looks confused for a second, so I clear my throat, feet moving to sit on the couch. "About me and him." I clarify. He has been in favour of me doing so, convinced it would dissipate all the tension, and provide a more suitable work environment for us, but after today I don't know if that will be possible.

"Well, did you talk?" He asks, sitting beside me.

"We got stuck in his elevator." I reveal, feeling a type of fear and desperation crawling to my senses. It's odd, but at the same time understandable with every minute that passes and the conclusions that I am drawing. "Shit, are you ok?" Yoongi asks in worry, and I nod, leaning back on the fabric.

"Yeah, I don't know how long we were there but it was a while till they found us." He looks a bit relieved at that, but he shouldn't be, because god knows I may have destroyed what I was meant to make. Admittedly, Seokjin now knows the truth, and by the looks of it, he may have taken it well, but the things that are pending between us are of magnitude, not to mention what transpired between us in that elevator, and whatever it is that he was supposed to tell me.

"I kissed him." I whisper out, but Yoongi catches it, and he almost chokes on air, sitting up in his seat. I can't believe it either, and I flutter my eyes closed, thinking back to when I had held so dearly to me. How fond and natural it had felt, and how tenderly and gently he had looked at me. It had felt so familiar, and I couldn't have stopped myself from wanting to remember more.

I kissed him, it wasn't anything sensual or passionate but I did it, and it had brought back every last memory of us that I had, everything that we shared, down to the reason I had loved him to even begin with.

"What?" Yoongi shrieks beside me, taking in my words. I know he was all about mending the relationship, and getting us on a right path, but this is too good of a path, I went a little far, did things I shouldn't have, but then again I don't regret it, I don't think I would have remembered how to breath if I hadn't done it. Seokjin had held my lifeline at that moment.