CHARADES (Namjin.)

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN.

Seokjin.

I am not blind, I know how he feels for me. It's been a year since we broke up, but I can still see how he looks at me. Soft, longing, with so much care. I know he is still in love with me, he reminded me so after we separated. That, and the proposal ring he wanted me to have, to think about.

I was in love with Jungkook too, way back when we were teenagers. But somehow I questioned that when he proposed to me last year, I wondered if he was someone I wanted to be with for the rest of my life as a partner, or someone I had been so close to my whole life, and loved in each way that it was difficult to differentiate it with being in love.

I wasn't sure in other words, so I declined, not wanting to make a grave mistake of joining us in a matrimony when there were lingering doubts. I went out and explored my options, lived in the real world, dated a few guys, who in truth didn't hold anything to Jungkook, until...until I found my match, someone that had swayed me off my feet at first sight, captured my heart too from the very beginning. It made me realize there had been a little hole in there, something that even Jungkook couldn't fill. Secretly I had wished he found the one too, someone who would make his heart beat like mine did, because I wasn't the one for him. I was taken, now broken, and because he needed someone who could love him fully. Someone who hadn't known him all his life, a new start.

He hadn't found it, but that didn't mean I was the option, I might have been the default, someone he couldn't get rid of, but that didn't mean I was the one. He deserves far much better. "Kook..." I say lowly as he tucks another strand of hair behind my ear, the look in his eyes showing me the emotions he still harbours for me. "I know, I know." He whispers back defeated, sighing before retrieving back his hand. He looks at his fingers for a second before meeting my gaze.

"I know, I just... being this close to you once again, reminds me of how much I still feel for you. I know, I messed up when I rushed for us to have something bigger when we were so young, but -"

"I didn't say no because we were young, Jungkook. I did it because you didn't act on your own accord, you were pressured into doing it when you weren't sure yourself if you or I were ready for something like that." I cut him, reminding him of my reasons as to why I had declined. He knows them. He nods along but doesn't back down. If anything he only chews at his lips, his eyes still gazing at me.

"I was stupid for that one, young, and desperate to please my parents. But I've learnt now, I know it's barely been a while but I've learnt, and I know despite everything that has happened, I still feel the same for you. I am still in love with you." I don't know how to respond to that, I don't know what I could possibly tell him that would sound at least consoling, although I doubt my pity is what he wants now. I know what it's like to love, and I can't stop him, or rather his heart if it is what it desires.

He scoots closer, taking the glass of whiskey from me and placing it on the coffee table, before taking my hands in his. I don't stop him, not able to when his brown alluring eyes hold my gaze. It's not compelling, more of soft and captivating. He has always had pretty eyes. "I am not saying this to make you uncomfortable, or to put you in a tough situation, but please hear me out." He requests, his eyes begging, and waiting for a response in turn. I nod along in agreement, it's the least I could do for him.

"I know your still at a bad place, I know you still have a lot going on, so I am not going to ask you to give me a chance...not yet at least." I scoff at his cockiness, the corners of his lips twitching in a smile, but quickly settle back when he peers up at me. "All I want for you now, is to give yourself a chance. I want you to allow yourself to move forward in life. It's been a couple of weeks since everything, and I am not saying that that is a lot of time to allocate to what you've been going through - you could take all the time in the world to get yourself together - but don't let it rob you of your chances to live, don't let it take away from you more than it has already."