CHARADES (Namjin.)

CHAPTER FIFTY FIVE.

Seokjin.

I glance at the rear view mirror occasionally, noting the little pout etched on Jeonghan's face, not cute, but worried, which in turn adorns his face with sadness. He is sad, I know he is upset, and he has every reason to. It's been days since I found out about Jungkook's affair, days since Jeonghan got to spend time with the man, and with each day that passes, with each event that Jungkook misses, and with each forced interaction I have with Jungkook in front of him, I know he can tell something is off, he's smart, and I knew it would only take him but a short time to draw his own conclusions.

"You ok sweetie?" I ask, trying to lighten the mood, keeping my eyes on the road at the same time. He doesn't look up from his position, head still bowed, and buried deep in the tablet he pretends to be playing a game in. He nods, his cute cheeks puffing out when he lets out a sigh, scrunching his nose in the slightest.

He's not ok.

I understand his turmoil, and I worry of how he will take on the more that is to come. He is my son, my only child, and I don't want him to suffer, or hurt in the slightest, but at the same time, it's inevitable what's about to happen, we can't avoid it, and regardless of what I might do, he's is still bound to be furious at me, he'll not like it.

I guess that's my punishment, the biggest out of everything that will be thrown my way; the thought of my son hating me. Him suffering because of me. I haven't exactly told him, not because I am scared, or because I am holding back, but because the time isn't right. The last thing I need, is for my baby to be thrown in the whirlwind we are all riding in, and for that reason, I feel like I should prioritize my issues first, before dedicating my time and energy to Jeonghan.

After a lot of thinking and self reflection, I feel like I should probably face Jungkook now, I think it's time we talk and face the reality of what this is, and choose the way forward from there. I've been avoiding him; too angry to want to hear anything from him, and too hurt to actually internalize what he and Hoseok have done behind my back, but that ends today, and I'll find a way to talk to him before the day concludes.

And then there is Namjoon, another thing that has been hindering me from speaking to Jeonghan. The last time we talked in the park, he seemed a bit relieved, a bit leveled, and at the time the excitement of knowing things about our son overrode every emotion he had, and admittedly, he looked a bit happy when I dropped him home, but things might be different soon, when the weight of everything settles for him, and he actually embraces the magnitude of everything. He might want something different, other than the path that he seemed to take earlier on in the week.

I don't want to rush with my own decisions, and ideas, I'd rather we talk in detail about how we are going to handle Jeonghan, before we actually do it, as opposed to driving head first into telling our son, only to confuse him, or make him have a particular mindset about what's happening. So until I talk to those two, and until we get our issues right, Jeonghan is gonna have to hold on, maybe for a few more days or so.

I feel bad that he's caught in the middle, he's starting to catch onto what's happening, and that it's starting to take a fraction of his thoughts. I don't want him to worry anymore than he's already doing, don't want him troubled or occupied with any thoughts whatsoever.

"Are you ready for your play date?" I ask, voice cheery as I pull up at the right address, glancing once more at the mirror to see Jeonghan looking up, forcing out a smile. "Yeah." He lets out, not adding anything else as he switches off the tablet, and puts it aside on the seat.

Now I know he's really bummed, he would never lack energy for a Saturday out play with his friends. I park out on the street, unbuckling my seat belt before turning in my seat to face him. "Then what's with the face?" I ask, ruffling his hair and offering him a smile, which he doesn't offer back.