There was this buzzing, this pervasive, incessant, annoying buzzing, dragging him up, waking him. He drowned it out. He kept his eyes resolutely closed, because sleep was luring him back in and he was still so tired... but the buzzing started again, and it wouldn't stop. He opened his eyes with an annoyed groan. He blinked and instantly his heart was in his throat. Because fuck! Today was no ordinary day... no, today was Audition Day! And he had hoped so much that Brett would get a good night's sleep. Apparently not, then.
Shit!
He lunged for the phone and managed to pick it up the before it stopped vibrating again.
"Eddy. I'm so sorry to wake you up." Brett whispered feverishly on the other end. It was still stupidly early and it was Saturday, so his parents would definitely still be sleeping.
"No worries, my love. Are you okay?"
He could actually hear Brett swallowing in the pervading silence around him.
"Erm... no, not really. Fuck. Eddy, I'm freaking out. I've run to the toilet a couple times already thinking I'm going to hurl. And I can't breathe. I'm just so nervous. I... I can't..."
Brett's voice, shaky and brittle, dimenuendoed into nothing.
Double shit! This was bad, this was real bad... he knew Brett had his insecurities but he was so strong, so self-contained. He always kept those insecurities firmly to himself. So he must be in a really bad way to come out and tell him he wasn't okay like this. Eddy didn't hesitate for a second.
"I'm on my way over. You sit tight and don't hurl, okay? Just try to relax and breathe and I'll be there in a minute."
It was a stupid thing to say, really. Just try to relax. But what was he going to say?
"Okay." Brett whispered, and he hung up without another word.
Eddy jumped out of bed and shot into his clothes as quickly as if it were an Olympic sport. Then he ran out of his door.... and stopped.
He would have to tell his mum. And he knew she might stop him, and it would get ugly if she did. But just walking out without telling her? That would not go down well. He might never be allowed out of the house ever again.
So he braced himself as he knocked on her door and walked into the bedroom, still dusky in the very early morning light that filtered through the gap in the curtains.
"Mum." he said as he crouched down by her bed. She was awake now, and she eyed him with consternation and a little annoyance. "I'm so very sorry to wake you up. I have to go to Brett right now. He's freaking out. Please."
She stared at him for just a second, and then she sighed and muttered something in Mandarin under her breath that he didn't catch.
"Fine, then." she bit, and she turned around and demonstratively pulled the quilt over her again.
Yeah. That was not going to be the last he was going to hear about that, was it? But at least he had done what he could here and she knew where he was going. He could worry about anything else later, after he knew that Brett was okay.
"Thanks, mum." he whispered as he ran out and rushed down the stairs. He flew into his jacket, locked the door behind him and sprinted the whole way to Brett's house.
Brett was already in the door opening as he skidded to a halt in front of the house. Eddy tried to catch his breath as quickly as he could as he stepped into the room. His eyes shot around him to see if there was any sign from his parents yet, but everywhere was completely quiet still, so the second the front door was closed he threw his arms around his boyfriend, whose eyes were haggard and whose breathing was way, way too fast. He was shivering hard in his arms.
"Hey. Bretty. I'm here. It's okay. I'm here." he said softly in Brett's ear as he rhythmically stroked his back. "Hey. Bretty mine. Breathe, okay?"
Brett didn't respond.
Triple shit! What the fuck was he going to do now?
His own heart was still racing as he took Brett's hand and he walked him over to one of the reclining chairs in the living room.
"Come one, sit down here, okay?"
Brett stared at him, wide eyed, but then he nodded and plopped down on the chair. Eddy quickly sat down on the foot stool next to him and put one hand on Brett's stomach, holding Brett's hand with the other. His breaths were coming so fast. What if he passed out or something?
"Bretty, come on." he said, his voice somehow sounding so calm and authoratitive that he surprised himself. "Let's count, okay? In.... one, two, out... one, two, three, four."
He remembered the breathing exercise a teacher had given him once. He hadn't thought he might need it in quite this situation at the time.
"In... one, two, out... one, two, three, four."
His hand was stroking Brett's stomach softly, and he willed him calm. He knew how much energy this whole panic thing would be costing him, and he also knew that Brett needed all of his energy to rock his audition at eleven. He had to get him out of this state as soon as possible. So he kept his hand there on his belly and he breathed and counted with him, until at last Brett's breathing started to slow down and he quietly looked at him with big, fearful eyes.