Oh, but rehearsing was hard though, that day. Man, was it ever hard! He was sat in his usual spot next to Brett, but he was so aware of him, so acutely attuned to everything he did, that it was hard to focus on anything else. He'd heard Brett mess up a couple of times already, so he guessed he might not be the only one suffering from that particular affliction either.
Man.
He sighed deeply, trying to get himself under control, but his thoughts kept going back to last night, and to add insult to injury his body kept reacting to the memory.
That reaction had been fine, the night before, but it wasn't now! God, Imagine if someone saw!
And now, instead of focusing on playing properly, he kept thinking about what Brett had said to him, a few nights ago. Was he right? Would it be okay for him to... to do something about this? He really wasn't sure.
When the break came Eddy was very relieved.
¨I'm just going toilet, okay?¨ he said to Brett. ¨I'll meet you in the cafeteria.¨
¨Okay!¨ Brett answered, and walked off with Todd and Lizzy.
Instead of going to the communal toilets, Eddy quickly walked to their room and closed the bathroom door behind him. Then he sat down on the seat, putting his head in his hands.
Whoa, was he actually going to do this?
He knew the answer already as he closed his eyes and his hand moved hesitantly down his belly.
A few minutes later he knew for sure that he'd done the right thing. Oh my God, the explosion had been so much better than the other times, and this time he could just close his eyes and enjoy it.
The whole thing had been something else, and he was feeling about a million times better now.
But he'd been gone a while, he knew, and he'd better hurry up, before people started asking questions he had approximately zero interest in answering.
He crashed into the cafeteria, picked up some food and took his place at the table next to Brett, who eyed him curiously.
¨You okay?¨ he asked.
¨Yeah, fine, bro.¨ he said quickly, and tucked in.
Soon he was laughing and chatting, and he was calmly enjoying being with his friends. The smile on his face was easy and real. Jesus, he shouldn't have been so reticent about this, should he?
Who knew?
The rest of the day went by easily. He was focused again and he enjoyed every moment of having Brett sitting by his side. His playing was back on point too, and his playing well seemed to help Brett in turn, because there were no more mistakes between them that afternoon. The conductor could be happy!
He could have known, though, that Brett would see through him and know what he'd been up to in the break.
They'd gone to their room fairly early. There was no teacher concert that night, and they'd happily been sat with their friends in the common area, but Brett had given him the strangest look and had said:
¨I'm a bit tired, Eddy, do you mind if I get to our room?¨
Eddy had grinned inwardly.
He got what Brett's look meant. That look meant: please come with me, Eddy. So he'd replied:
¨Sure thing, you know what? I'll come with you. I'm beat anyway.¨
I mean, sitting with their friends for longer could have been fun, but it was no contest where he'd rather be if given the choice, right? So they had said goodnight to Todd and Lizzy and walked to their dorm.
¨So... you seemed a lot happier this afternoon.¨ Brett said as soon as he'd closed the door behind them both and walked into the room, sitting down on his bed.
Eddy scrunched his eyes shut in shock. Shit. Where was Brett going with this? Was he going to call him out?
¨Er... yeah.¨
Then Brett smiled his very kind smile, that smile that made everything inside Eddy relax straight away.
¨I'm really glad, Eddy.¨
Oh... thank God. Eddy paused for a moment to catch his breath. He realised that Brett knew, and he also realised he wasn't going to say anything. Brett really was the best, most understanding guy in the world. He felt the gratitude wash through him, and he simply had to say something, to let him know how much he'd helped.
¨You... you know it's thanks to you, Brett. You really helped me, when you said what you said a couple of nights ago. You.... you took the shame away.¨
Brett smiled again, and then he was suddenly very close.
¨Awesome. Now, my lovely Eddy, can I please kiss you again?¨