The Unbearable Heat, the Unbearable Emptiness, the Unbearable Distance, The Unbearable Scenery, This Unbearable Book, This Unbearable Suffering.
Yet through the pain and agony he still carried on, for he was desperate to save those that had nothing to do with this conflict between him and Avarice.
Saitama was gritting his teeth as his brain was aching like crazy, he felt as if his head was splitting in two and it all reminded him to before he gained his strength.
Before Crablante, before the job huntings, back to when he was in high school.
He remembered the time when he had no friends and got bullied daily, he remembered the same aching pain in his head, coming home to an exhausted worried mother and no father.
He remembered the times he would cry in the dark in his room, knowing nobody was going to come and talk to him, knowing that he couldn't depend on anybody emotionally.
For Saitama reality hurt, the truth stung hard, and even now the tears threatened to fall, but what could he do, just change his attitude "yeah better said then done" he always told himself that, always doubted himself, always talked himself out of change or doing something that could change his life for the better, yet he always manged to talk himself out of it.
Why did he do that, why did he always manage to do shit that always hurt himself, why did he do the things he did, was it his depression, was it his anxiety, or was it just the Fear of Denial, being rejected again, being pushed back and never getting acknowledged.
No matter what reason he found he could never deny that he was the problem, that it was all him, and deep inside he knew he hated himself for it.
He was currently running through the book once again to get to the next spire which was definitely Super Girl.
And as he traveled he thought about the short time that he knew her, the memories they had together.
From their first time meeting in which she threatened him and kicked his can a little bit until Diana showed up and knocked Super Girl out and then dragged him and Deadman to the giant space building in space.
He remembered how angry Supergirl was at the time, how serious Diana was, and how cool Deadman was.
And then he started getting a little depressed as so much has happened since he came here and just how different they all were now.
Supergirl wasn't angry as much from the last time he saw her, Diana lost her cold and seriousness replacing it with an air of maturity, responsibility, and exhaustion at least that's what he got from her from the last time he saw her which was about a couple of hours ago or days ago since it was hard to tell how many days had passed in the book or if time effected them at all.
He noticed all their changes yet why did he feel the less changed, he was welcomed back as a hero by the Justice League yet he didn't feel like a hero, he knew deep in his heart that he had not earned that title. He had been gone too long from society, too long from danger, and all for his own selfish wants, because of his own fear of letting others get hurt under his protection.
Failure held him under it's thumb, Fear by his neck, Hate ripping his mind in two, and doubt over his heart.
He tried to deny it further, tried to hide it away under lock-in key, but his attempts were all useless, for Dear Misery has waited too long. For the sand turned black and the sky turned white as Saitama was reduced to a child and his surroundings had changed to the home where he used to live with his mother.
"LET ME IIIIINNNN"
BAMP, BAMP, BAMP, BAMP, BAMP, BAMP, BAMP, BAMP BAMP, BAMP, BAMP, BAMP, BAMP-
The rapid sounds of the slamming, punching, and kicking of the door to Saitama's childhood home.
Saitama ran to the door grabbing one of the chairs from the dining room table and barring the door as he sat behind door to make sure that Misery doesn't come inside.
LET ME IN, LET ME IN, LET ME IN ,LET ME IN, LET ME IN, LET ME IN RIGHT NOW.
Saitama closed his eyes and put his hands over his ears, trying to block out Miseries Peirceing screams.
Ignore it, push it away, Don't let it in, Deny it.
He tried to tell himself this over and over again but it was failing him greatly as Misery was too loud, too violent, too aggressive and it drove Saitama to the point that he couldn't stay quiet anymore as he screamed back at misery through the door.
"LEAVE ME ALOOOOOONE"
he screamed as loud as his tiny body would allow him as the banging stopped, the screaming of "Let Me In" stopped, and all that was left was silence.
Misery was gone
And Saitama cried.
For this Suffering was Unbearable.
How could he possibly carry on.
How could he possibly save them.
He looked up to see that he was no longer in his old home but he had returned to the desert as the skies returned to black and the sand had turned to white.
And he had arrived at his destination as he was now in front of a steel spire similar to Superboy's.
He was not ready to help her, after such an experience with Misery, he knew he couldn't save her, yet his body was already moving, climbing the steps.
What the hell was he doing, why was he doing this, he wouldn't be of any help, he wouldn't be able to save the others, he should turn back, run away, but yet he couldn't, why couldn't he turn back.
He needed to stop himself, turn back, He Needed To Leave.
But as he was thinking that, SMACK.
He smacked himself trying to bring his focus back to the task at hand, he had not time to be wasting it on his own affliction, that needed to wait.
He needed to save those that needed saving as he began climbing the steps as he saw the steel of the tower turn red and through the red he saw Kara and her memories.
Saitama saw Krypton, he saw it's demise, he saw her floating in space as her pod was isolated inside Kryptonite, he saw as she made it to earth, he saw her first encounter with superman, her first encounter with the Justice league, her first encounter with death, her first time taking a life, as well as herself dying, he saw her greatest moments, as well as her most devastating, he saw her at her best as well as at her worst.
He saw her fears, he saw her anger, he saw her happiness, he saw her sadness, he saw everything.
Her fear of him, what he could to her and everyone else, he didn't think that anyone would see him in that light.
This was not why he became a hero.
Not to be powerful.
Not to be unstoppable.
Not to be feared.
This was not what he wanted as he saw further her relationship with the Titans after his dissapperance, how the Titans healed her.
And now that he was involved with her again he saw what she left behind to save him, to try to help him, to come to his rescue.
Yet now her relationship with the Titans was strained.
How could he have done this to her, a person he considered a friend.
He needed to talk to her, he needed to make things right, he needed to fix this, he didn't know how but he knew he needed to do something.
As he now began moving faster up the crimson steel stairs.
And as he arrived up to the top of the spire he saw Kara as she was bathed completely in crimson.
Stained in guilt and regret, depression and hopelessness, pain and suffering.
Her mind, her soul, her heart was in agony.
"Kara" said Saitama lightly as his face was pained by the scene of his friend.
Her eyes were dead and empty.
Her clothes were dripping in blood
She was alone and he put her there.
"Kara, talk to me please" Saitama begged as he got closer to her, walking into the pool of blood.
The blood blending into Saitama's already crimson boots, as with ever step he could feel her rage towards him, her sadness, her disgust, as she had felt betrayed.
He was now standing in front of her.
"Kara" said Saitama.
"Leave me alone" said Kara as she refused to look at him.
Saitama didn't want to force her, he didn't want to argue with her for he knew that would just lead to them fighting each other, he didn't want to hurt her, he didn't even mean to hurt her yet here she was, broken.
Saitama didn't know what to do, what to say, he had no heart felt speech, he had nothing he could say.
For Supergirl, she had already forgiven him, she already understood him, yet facing him only brought the worst out of her, as all the Rage, All the Tears, All The pain he had left her, all of it returned.
She wanted to punch him and just keep punching him until he turned into a puddle of blood.
She Despised him still deep in her heart she knew it to be true.
Yet why hasn't she done anything yet, why hasn't she already pulverized him, screaming her heart out at him, scream at him all the misery he had caused her.
Her home, her friends, her family, all of her relationships with the people she cared about the most was ruined because of him.
Yet, she did nothing.
As she felt a warm touch grasp her hand, she looked to see that Saitama was touching her, this could be her excuse to hit him, hurt him, and make him feel everything she had felt for so long.
But yet she didn't, Why?
She felt his warm touch crawl up from her hand to her arm and then to her shoulder as she felt his warmth go from one area to another.
It felt nice, as if taking the cold away from her body and purifying her soul, what the hell was wrong with her, why was she letting this person who had hurt her, touch her, feel her.
Just Why?
Shen then felt his hand touch her face as she wanted to pull away from him but she was desperate for warmth, his warmth.
She felt the callouses and stiffness of his hands, yet they were so gentle with her, she hated being treated like a doll, fragile and helpless, yet she wouldn't move.
These hands that could crumble an entire city if he wanted too, wipe out all of civilization if he wanted too, were here caressing her face, comforting her with their warmth.
She felt his hand move her face up as she was now looking Saitama face to face, not in battle, not in conflict, it was just them two in a moment that she felt could last forever.
She saw his bland face that happened to remain the same after all these years, his same shiny head that could light the way in any darkened tunnel, through everything that happened he was the same person she remembered that was until she looked deep into his eyes and saw his very soul.
She saw his pain, his agony, his sadness, his Frustration, all of it was shown to her as she could now see that he was in just as bad of a shape as her.
They were both broken in their own horrible way, she now knew, she now truly understood, that he didn't mean to hurt her, he wasn't even aware through his own challenge.
They were the same, as she now leaned into his hand closing her eyes, forgiving him as well as accepting him.
She opened her eyes to look at his own as he spoke to her.
"Kara" spoke Saitama.
"Yes" answered Kara.
"I'm sorry" professed Saitama.
"Don't mention it" answered Kara.
To Be Continued.
A/N
The first thing I want to get off my chest is that this took me a while to write as I wasn't really sure how to tackle Super Girl yet as this chapter was originally going to be Starfire's chapter, but I had a change of plans, so I ended up tackling Super Girl and this relationship and conflict. Hopefully you guys liked it as it's 5:17 a.m. when I'm posting this.
Now the second thing I need to get off my chest is the long wait and why it took me so long to update and that is because I was being a coward and hid myself away reading fanfiction due to this damn pandemic, I feel terrible that I haven't been able to lead a somewhat escape for you all in this dire situation.
And lastly I have some saddening new as if you've read the "Before You Read" Chapter of this story which is the first page of this story, you would know that I was originally inspired by an author on fanfiction.net called MegaRdaniels and his story "One Punch League" well recently as I was scrolling looking for fics I decided to check on him to see if he had updated the story and I was left discouraged and disheartened by the fact I could no longer find the story within his works as it appears he has deleted "One Punch League" my inspiration to write this story, I don't know his reasoning or if he just unpublished it, I just thought it was a huge bummer.
Anyway this is really all I have to say, stay safe all of you, where ever you are, who ever you are, take care of yourselves, we'll get through this.
See y'all next chapter.