The first time he ever sees her, Varun Dhawan swears he's seen Alia Bhatt somewhere before.
When he voices the thought to Sid, the older actor shrugs and says she probably looks like an actress or something. The younger of the two boys snorts in amusement at that. 'Of course she does. She's Pooja Bhatt's little sister,' he says. 'But that's not it. I don't know yaar. There's just something familiar about her.'
'Maybe you two met at some Bollywood party or event then? Or you ran in to her on a set when you were younger? Your dads worked together right?' Sid asks, tone dismissive.
'No,' he denies. 'I mean, they did, yeah. But my dad was only an editor, he didn't go on the sets. And, even if he had, it was before either of us were even born. Vaise, Bhaatsaab doesn't exactly attend industry events.'
'I'm not sure what to tell you then,' Sid tells him with a little shrug. 'Maybe she just has one of those faces.'
'She look familiar to you too then?'
Sid's answer takes a minute to come and, when it does, it's a negative. Varun simply nods at that, a contemplative look on his face, aware that it's pointless to continue trying to explain what he's feeling. Hell, it doesn't even make sense to him if he's honest; there's no chance anyone else will understand it.
But, if there's one thing that's clear to him, it's that somewhere, somehow, he's seen this girl before.
Not just seen her in fact. He's sure that he knows her.
***
The very first time she meets him, Alia Bhatt can't help but think that she knows Varun Dhawan.
Logically, she knows that's just not possible. Despite the fact that they both come from filmi families, there's no chance they would've crossed paths at industry events; her dad isn't exactly the social type and, even if she ever had attended an industry event, he's six years older than her – they wouldn't have been hanging out.
It's strange she thinks, how much they have in common for two people who don't know each other. Apparently, their parents know each other well, are good friends in fact – something she hadn't known until she mentions to them that she's working with David Dhawan's son. What shocks her more is that when she mentions his name to Kanchi, her best friend begins to talk about him as though she's known him for years. 'How the hell have I never met this guy before?' she wonders, confused.
'It's not that big of a deal Alia. We do have different friends you know,' Kanchi says with a laugh.
'No, it's not just that. I feel like I have somehow. He just looks familiar, feels familiar, you know? Not just like I've seen him but like I know him, really know him,' she tells her best friend, getting a shrug in response. 'Come on Kanchi, help me out here.'
'I dunno,' she laughs, silent a minute before making a sound of recognition. 'Maybe this is a sign or something; maybe you knew him in a past life.' Alia fixes her with a get real look but she persists. 'Come on, think about it. It's just like in all the movies. You see a guy and you feel like you must've seen him somewhere before, like he's oh so familiar. Maybe he's your soulmate,' she teases, nudging her.
'Like hell! He's cocky and argumentative and annoying as anything. Makes everything into a competition and he's figured out how to push all my buttons.'
'All of them?' Kanchi asks with a raised eyebrow. Alia rolls her eyes but doesn't bother to deny the implication. 'He does huh?'
'He's not a bad looking guy, I'll admit that,' she concedes. 'But he's just so – ugh!'
'Uh-huh,' Kanchi half-mutters with a knowing tone.
'What?' Alia demands, looking at her best friend.
'Nothing. Just, he annoys you so badly that all you've done for the past half an hour is talk about him, wonder how you've never met before and contradict yourself.'
'I have not!' she protests, taking a defensive stance.
'Yes, you have. In the entire time that we've been talking about your film, all I've heard is Varun this and Varun that. How have I never met him before, he feels familiar. He's a good actor, we play pretty well off each other but he's annoying and competitive. We argue so much and on and on and on,' Kanchi tells her, mimicking her.
'I do not sound like that!' Alia refutes, huffing in annoyance. 'And I may have said some of those things but you made up at least 20%'
'You keep telling yourself that if it'll make you feel better.' Alia just glares at her best friend, deciding she's better off dropping the subject there.
***
It's only a couple of months later that Alia has to admit defeat. She calls Kanchi after a long day of shooting, saying nothing other than, 'you were right.'
'About?' Kanchi asks, completely thrown.
'Varun.'
'What about Varun?' she questions, though she has a fairly good idea of what she's talking about.
'Oh come on Kanchi, don't make me say it!' Alia whines.
'Okay, okay, I won't,' she concedes with a laugh. 'So, you finally realised huh?'
'Don't gloat,' the actress snaps. 'I just... he's still annoying. And an idiot. But he's so caring. And, I don't know. He's just so sweet. And funny but he doesn't always mean to be. He makes me laugh yaar. He also kinda makes me want to hit him up the side of the head sometimes but then he'll laugh or he'll give me that goofy little smirk of his and I can't stay mad at him. And I don't know what's happening to me!'
'Isn't it obvious Alia, you're in love.' The only response Kanchi receives is a groan and something mumbled, something she can't quite make out but sounds a lot like God help me, I am.
***
From the very first time he hears Alia laugh, Varun knows that he's in trouble. When he's the cause of that laugh, that feeling becomes all that much stronger. And when she looks at him and she's smiling that smile of hers that reaches her eyes, he knows that whatever this feeling is, it's not going away quickly.
When he realises that he can – and does – get lost in her eyes, and frequently at that, he thinks maybe he should get advice from someone other than Sid, who really sucks at giving advice about these types of things. He can't go to his dad; despite being known for making rom-coms, he's not sure he'll understand. His brother is out of the question too, he'll only tease him forever. And while Varun might be a mumma's boy, this is something he just doesn't feel comfortable talking to his mum about.
So, he goes to the only person he thinks will understand and won't tease him mercilessly about it: his bhabhi.
'Bhabhi, can I talk to you about something?' he asks his sister-in-law one night.
'Yeah sure. What's up?' He looks around and fidgets, not really wanting to say anything more while they're sat in the sitting room, where just about anyone could walk in and overhear.
'Can we uh, can we talk somewhere else? It's just, I don't want anyone to know about it...' he trails off, looking at her sheepishly while he nervously scrubs a hand over the back of his neck.
'Alright.' She gestures for him to lead the way and he gets up, walking to his room. She follows him in and takes a seat on his desk chair, waiting for him to close the door and sit down before asking what's on his mind.
'Alia,' he tells her, the word followed by a sigh.
'What about her?'
'Everything. I just... the two of us definitely didn't get along right off the bat but, I dunno, when I first saw her, I felt like I knew her. And that feeling's only gotten stronger and stronger and now we're getting along too – I mean, we've not stopped arguing and I don't think we ever will. But it's different now. As much as we argue, we talk. As much as I annoy her, I can make her laugh. And her laugh... her laugh is the best sound in the whole world, I swear. When I'm the one who makes her laugh, it's even better. I don't know what it is but she makes me feel different than I ever have before. It's like I have this constant need to make sure she's okay, to look after her, care for her. I want to make her laugh, to make her smile. But, at the same time, I love that I can get under her skin, push her buttons. And she's no less either. She knows how to rile me up, how to annoy me so badly. But then, she'll give me this little smile and, all of a sudden, I'm melting.
'And even though she's the youngest one on the set, I click with her better than with anyone else. The best thing about her is, even though I annoy her so much, she's always taking care of me too, watching out for me and all. She's just... I can't stop thinking about her and I keep grinning like an idiot. Every time I see her smile, no matter what else is going on, I can't help but grin back, like a fool. But if I ever see that she's not smiling, I can't help it, I have to try and make her smile, cheer her up. And I just don't know what this is or what to do.'
'I can't tell you what to do but I know what it is,' she says with a soft smile.
'What is it?'
'Varun, you're falling for Alia. Or you already have.' Her tone is gentle, soft, like she's talking to a kid, explaining something complicated. Which, in a way she is. It's not an easy thing to explain, love. And, while Varun might legally be an adult, he's still young, still just a kid in matters like this.
Something that's only emphasized by his response to her words. 'I- what, no!' he protests. 'I'm not – I can't be. I mean, not – this is Alia we're talking about. I can't be in love with her right?' His sister-in-law just looks at him in a whatever floats your boat kind of way and he lets out a sound of disbelief. 'Shit. I'm in love with Alia.'
***
He's the first to say anything.
It takes months for him to get around to it, telling himself to wait and see if it seems like she feels anything for him, that if he says anything to her and she doesn't feel the same way, it might just ruin their friendship. It's not long that they've known each other but, in the time that they have, they've grown so close that he really doesn't want to risk losing her. He's better off with her in his life as a friend, he decides, than not at all.
But, as time drags on, he finds it harder and harder to keep it from her. Until, one night while they're on an outdoor shoot, it spills out.
They're alone in her room, the two of them having decided to stay in and watch movies while everyone else goes out to explore. Of course, the others tease them for it – Karan and Sid especially – but they've grown used to it by now so they play deaf.
The truth is simple. Alia isn't too fond of the idea of spending a night on the town – she's not exactly a social butterfly – and Varun, being the good friend that he is, tells her he'll keep her company.
They're sitting there, the second film of the night playing in the background while they talk and play cards, Varun having found a pack in his backpack. He's just got back from a food run and she's just thrown a chip in his direction for teasing her about how innocent she can be sometimes, laughing as he tries to catch it in his mouth and fails, the fried potato bouncing off his nose. He watches her laugh, a smile spreading over his own face despite his best efforts at a disgruntled expression and he says the first thing that comes to mind. 'D'you ever think about what might have happened if we'd met differently?' he blurts, the question stopping her laughter.
She looks at him, head tilted in curiosity as she ponders it. 'I can't say I have. Why?'
'I dunno. Just wondering. Like, what if we'd met at a party or something?'
'And we'd ever be partying together? I mean, if we hadn't done this film, it's not likely we'd ever have met na?' she asks, raising an eyebrow.
'Humour me Al,' he says, sitting up properly and turning to face her, crossing his legs. 'Let's say we both ended up in the industry anyway. Met at an industry party. What would have happened?'
'Would you even notice me?' she questions, fixing him with a look.
'Of course I would. I'd notice you anywhere.' Both her eyebrows shoot up at that but she doesn't get the chance to question him further before he speaks again. 'So, I notice you, I come over. What happens next?'
'Hmm, you'd start up a conversation. You know me, I don't like parties all that much, and I'm not big on talking but I'd talk to you just to be polite – and maybe because you're cute. You'd flirt, offer to buy me a drink. I'd say no because I'm really just there because I have to be, only waiting till it'll be acceptable for me to escape. You're persistent though so eventually I give. The more we talk, the more I realise I kinda like you. Eventually, I might ask you to dance – 'cause for all your flirting, God only knows you're not about to. We dance, talk a little more. And that's that.'
'That it?' He looks a little put out, like he's hoping for something more. She shrugs and asks him how he thinks it would go down. 'Well, up until the dancing, I think you're about right – though, let's be real, you wouldn't turn me down in a million years.' She scoffs at that but he shoots her the lopsided grin she loves so much and gets a shrug in response, neither conceding the point or denying it. 'But I'd think I'd get your number at least.'
'What makes you think you'd ever get so lucky, hmm?' she teases, nudging him.
'Because... because it makes sense.'
'What does?'
'This, the two of us.' She cocks her head, silently questioning him. 'Come on, don't act like you don't feel it too.'
'Feel what?' she asks, her voice low, hesitant almost.
'The thing between us.' She doesn't give him an answer, just looks at him, waiting for something further. 'You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?'
'Say what?'
'That when I'm with you, I feel something I've never felt with anyone else. Maybe it doesn't make sense, maybe it's crazy but it's true.'
She's silent for a long moment, doesn't speak, doesn't move. He stays quiet too, giving her time to think, to process. And then, finally, she speaks, her voice soft. 'Varun...' He gulps, thinking he's messed up with this, ruined it all.
'I'm an idiot,' he says. 'I'm a massive idiot. I just ruined everything didn't I? I fucked up big time.' He runs a hand through his hair, stressed at the thought that he's just lost her completely.
'I never said that.'
'You didn't need to. I've gotten to know you well enough to read what you're thinking,' he counters, shaking his head and moving to get up.
Before he can go anywhere, she grabs a hold of his hand and pulls him back to the bed. 'You're an idiot.'
'I just said that,' he points out.
'Not for the reason you think,' she refutes, shaking her head. 'You've not ruined anything Vee. It's just... I don't know what to say right now.'
'Like I said, you don't have to say anything,' he repeats, giving her a gentle smile and moving to take her hand off his wrist. She doesn't let him, wrapping her fingers tighter around his arm and intercepting his other hand, locking their fingers together and lowering their joined hands to the bed.
'Yes, I do. And you need to stop trying to leave,' she chastises, getting a sheepish smile in response. 'Look, this... the thing is, you're right. This, me and you, it makes sense. And that doesn't make sense. I mean, let's be real; the two of us, it's not like we got along from the start but, as much as you annoyed me and still annoy me,' she pauses to laugh and he lets out a chuckle too, 'something about you seemed, I dunno, somehow...' she trails off, unsure how to phrase it now that it's come around to saying it to him instead of talking about him to her sister and best friend.
'Familiar?' he suggests, giving her a knowing look when she makes a noise of surprise. 'Does it really surprise you that it went both ways?'
'No, not really I guess,' she admits with a shrug. 'Why didn't you say anything before?'
'Why didn't you?' he shoots back, raising an eyebrow.
'Oh I don't know, maybe because I felt like I must've been crazy?' she asks, the question clearly rhetorical. 'I see you for the first time and somehow I feel like I've seen you before, know you somehow. And apparently you know my best friend, have for years, and I didn't have a clue who you were. Yet I feel like I should.'
'And you think I didn't feel the same way? At least you weren't stupid enough to talk to Sid about it! The best he gave me is "maybe she just has one of those faces,"' he tells her, doing an impressive imitation of their co-stars voice.
'No, I went to Kanchi who gave me sarcastic remarks and noncommittal noises,' she counters; he tilts his head and makes a vague gesture with his hands, conceding the point. 'But maybe we should stop talking about how stupid we've been and think about what comes next?'
'That's the easy part,' he tells her with a smirk. 'What comes next is I do this.' And, before she has time to ask what, he's lifted a hand to cup her face, tilting her head upwards as he leans down and kisses her.
***
It turns out that being with someone who might just be your soulmate isn't all that easy.
When you're with the person who just fits with you, who compliments you in every possible way, it's easy to feel like nothing could ever come between you. But, the thing about being with someone you're sure you belong with is that you don't see any reason to be careful, to hold anything back.
But, as they find out just over two years into their relationship, that's far from being a good thing. They've been together since halfway through the filming of their first film and, by the time they're working on their second film together – his third and her fourth – they're thinking about finding a place together.
And then, all of a sudden, it hits him that they're still young, they're just barely starting their careers. Being in a relationship that's getting so serious, so fast... he's not sure that's the best idea. 'Alu, d'you think maybe we should take a step back?' he asks her one night, confusing her.
'How d'you mean?'
'I mean... we're looking at apartments Al. We've only been together a couple years and we've spent a lot of that time apart, filming and promoting and all. What time we do spend together, it's... well, it's perfect, that much I think we'll both agree to.' She nods, looking at him like she's catching on to what he's saying and she's not sure how much she likes it. 'I just think that maybe we should slow down a little, maybe not go so fast, you know? We're not at the kind of place in our professional lives for our personal lives to be moving so quickly.'
'Are we... are we breaking up right now?' she asks, her voice higher than normal.
'No! No, that's not what I'm saying,' he rushes to reassure. 'I'm just saying that maybe we shouldn't be thinking about moving in together, not yet at least? There's no rush na? We're young, we've got plenty of time ahead of us; let's take it easy for a while?'
'Yeah, okay. That makes sense,' she agrees, letting out a small sigh of relief. 'Actually, that makes lots of sense. Things have been going pretty fast.'
'So, we'll take it slow then?'
'Yeah, slow sounds good.'
***
Slow doesn't work out so well when you're with someone who makes you feel like you're in the right place, the right time, every single time you're with them. And, given that they're filming together, spending their days together and their nights too, it only gets harder.
By the time they get to the end of the promotions for the film, they're back to moving too fast and, this time, it's Alia that speaks up. 'This isn't going to work, is it? Not now, not yet,' she tells him just days after they wrap up the promotions.
'No, not yet,' he agrees, looking for all the world like his heart is breaking.
'But not yet doesn't mean not ever. It just means not now.' He just nods, unsure of what to say, unsure if there is anything at all that can be said. 'You and me, we're not just some time-pass relationship. This, us, it's for real and nothing is ever going to change that. We just need to take some time, just until we're at better places. Because, as... perfect as this is, it's terrifying. We're too young for something that's just so all-consuming. But we'll find our way back to each other, I have no doubt about that. 'Cause the thing is Vee, I'm pretty sure that if soulmates are real, you're mine.'
'I'll agree with you on that,' he says with a smile. The corners of her mouth lift too and she moves in to his space, reaching up to catch his face between her hands, pushing herself up on tiptoes to kiss him, making it last, making it a memory that'll endure until the next time.
***
For two years, they try their hardest to keep away from each other. It's not easy and they hadn't expected it to be. Breaking off a relationship for no other reason than it not being the right time yet is only part of the problem.
When you end up falling for your best friend, it's just that much more difficult to part ways. Because the one person who could make it all better is the one person who's not there, the one person you can't turn to. In fact, they're the one person you have to stay away from.
After two years, they figure that enough time has passed that they can accept the film they're offered together, do the tour they've signed up for.
The very first time they have to meet, they find out that they're wrong.
When he sees her stood in front of him, close enough that he can easily reach out and pull her into his arms for the first time in actual years, he feels like he's taken his first breath of fresh air since the last time they'd been so close. And, in that second, when the weight lifts from his lungs and he realises he's been suffocating for months, he realises that he's screwed. Utterly and completely screwed.
When he does pull her into his arms, when she lets herself sink into him, she feels like she's finally come home. And that's when she realises it too, realises that they were wrong, that it hasn't been enough time.
Because they aren't ready, not yet and they both know it. But working together, spending so much time together, there's no way they're going to be able to manage it without falling back into their old patterns, falling back together.
***
It doesn't take long at all for them to end up going back to how they always were.
They were stupid, he thinks, trying to convince themselves that they could do this without anything happening, that they could get through a year of workshops, filming and rehearsing and keep away from each other. Of course it doesn't work and, if he's honest with himself, he thinks they both know it, have known it from the start.
By the time they get to the first actual day of filming, they've already reached the point where they simply forget that anyone else exists when they're together, getting lost in each other and going to that bubble, the little pocket world where the two of them are alone, even in the midst of a crowd.
In the beginning, all it takes is someone clearing their throat to snap them out of it but, over time, it becomes more and more difficult to pull themselves out of their little world.
They take precautions, try their hardest to stop themselves from falling down the rabbit hole, but the attempts are in vain. There is only so many times they can remind themselves of the relationships they've both built, relationships that were only ever started in the hopes of making the separation easier.
Before long, they're making excuses to find time alone, to find secluded corners and empty rooms, places where nobody will find them until they want to be found.
They both know all too well how dangerous the path is, that they shouldn't be going down it. But, even though they know it's wrong, sneaking around with each other like that, it's not easy to ignore how fundamentally right it feels at the same time.
Of course, given that they only meet in very public places, nothing much happens between them, not until they're half a world away, staying in rooms down the hall from each other in a hotel.
It's only then that they decide to throw away the idea of trying to keep away from each other. 'We can't keep doing this,' she tells him as she sneaks into his room one night, long after everyone else has gone to sleep.
'No, we can't,' he agrees. But, even as he says it, he's pulling her close, pressing his lips to hers and her hands are reaching up to tangle in his hair.
'Varun,' she mumbles, pulling away from him for a few seconds, trying her hardest not to give in to his pull and failing miserably. There's always been an attraction between them, a pull that's stronger than gravity, and the more they fight it, the harder it becomes to resist.
Even when they pull apart to catch their breath, they don't move far; he leans his forehead against hers, just about managing to tamp down on the temptation to move his mouth to her skin, knowing that they need to talk and that it's best they do it now.
'Can we give up on slow?' he breathes; 'We might go too fast and we might be too young but I can't do this anymore. Staying away from you all the time, it's torture.'
For a few seconds, she stays silent, simply trying to restore the right amount of air to her lungs. And then she nods, the action so slight he would probably have missed it had they been any further apart and mutters, 'to hell with slow.'
***
For a little while, everything goes well for them. It's hard to end their other relationships though both her boyfriend and his girlfriend agree to keep up appearances, understanding why they don't want to be drawing attention to their relationship.
The pretences don't make all that much of a difference really; rumours still fly, the world still suspects, especially as it becomes obvious that they're back to being too close again. But they do their best to counteract them, making sure to be seen with their supposed significant others when they can be. They take precautions, show up to industry parties with the people they're trying to convince the world they're seeing – even if they spend the time between getting there and leaving together.
One might think that it becomes annoying to Sid and Natasha but the two find it amusing. 'Does it surprise you?' Sid asks her during one of the parties; they've gotten to know each other fairly well during the months they've been doing this, often spending the nights of these events hanging out.
'Honestly? Not all that much. You?' she returns, smiling as she looks at her school friend and his girl, never having seen him so happy with anyone else.
'Not at all,' he says with a laugh and a shake of his head. 'I'm just surprised they ever put it on pause.'
'Yeah, you have any idea what that was about?' she questions, her brow wrinkling in confusion.
'Not a clue. But I'm hoping they don't do it again. For a pair of actors, they're really bad at putting on an act.'
'Tell me about it.'
***
They make it through a year and a half before they part ways again.
This time, it's not through any choice of their own. In fact, this time, they've given up on trying to stop themselves from going too fast, from getting ahead of themselves. This time around, they let things take their own course, go where they will. Things are good and they're happy, truly, properly happy.
And then, one night, it all comes crashing down.
Varun's in his room at his parents' house, splayed out on his bed as he looks at his laptop screen, scrolling through a website, frowning at what he's seeing. There's a knock at the door and he calls out a come in, hardly paying any attention to who comes in until his brother takes a seat next to him. 'What's this?' Rohit asks, trying to get a look at the screen. Realising that, Varun hurries to change the tab but forgets that almost all of them have the same kind of content, having to click through several before settling on a safe one. Unfortunately, it's a little too late; his brother has already managed to catch a glimpse of what he's shopping for. 'I can only think of one reason you'd be ring shopping,' the elder man teases, nudging his brother.
Varun just looks at his brother blankly, hoping his poker face is good enough. 'You planning on proposing to Natasha?'
'Uh, well, not exactly,' he answers slowly, figuring he doesn't have a choice but to admit to the truth now and praying that Alia won't kill him for spilling the truth without her.
'Then? I mean, you're looking at engagement rings...'
'I am, yeah,' he agrees with a nod. 'But I'm not proposing to Natasha.'
'But you are proposing to someone?' Rohit raises his eyebrows and gives his little brother a pointed look, making Varun curse his own stupid idea of making his family believe their façades. He nods, waiting for his brother to ask who. And he's not disappointed; seconds later, his brother says, 'to who then?'
Varun stays silent a few seconds longer before finally spilling the beans. 'Alia.' The word is met with complete and total silence, Rohit going statue still for a long time.
Eventually, his resemblance to a sculpture lessens ever-so-slightly as he lets out a long, low breath. He still doesn't say anything, apparently at a loss for words. 'Bhaiya, I know what you're thinking and it's not like tha-' before Varun can finish defending himself, his brother holds up a hand, silencing him without saying a word.
'How long, exactly, have you been seeing her?'
'Nearly two years.'
'Two years?' he repeats. 'You've been seeing Natasha, she's been seeing Sid – who, last time I checked, is your friend. I shouldn't have to tell you that that's wrong.'
'It's not like what you're thinking.'
'Then how is it exactly? Because I can't really think of anything else it might be.'
'Natasha and Sid both know. They have the entire time,' he begins. But, again, before he gets anything else out, his brother interrupts.
'And what? they're okay with it?'
'Yeah, they are. Because they both actually let us finish explaining!' Varun snaps, shutting his laptop and turning to glare at his brother. 'They both knew, right from the beginning, that those relationships we had, they weren't supposed to be long term. They knew it was coming, weren't surprised for even a second when we told them. In fact, the whole act, keeping up our relationships was Natasha's idea.'
'Why would she come up with something like that?'
'Because she gets it! She sees what you don't. What ma and papa don't. And that's the problem. That is the exact reason I didn't want to tell you, any of you that me and Alia got back together. Because none of you really understood what it was, what it's like for me with her. And maybe Natasha doesn't fully understand that either – because, honestly, even I don't understand it enough to be able to put it in words so I can't expect anyone else to. But she gets that when you feel that way for someone, you don't give that up, not for anything or anyone. And she's been my friend long enough to know that I can't explain that, that nobody will want to hear it.'
'Maybe you should've tried to explain it anyway.'
'What for? So all of you could tell me that getting back with Alia would be a mistake? That if things go wrong again – or sorry, you all would say when things go wrong again – I'd be back to how I was the first time around, that I'd only end up getting hurt again. You'd tell me that I'd be better off just staying with Natasha, that she's a nice girl, a steady girl, a stable girl. She's the logical option. I've known her longer and she's not just going to leave me. Because, for some reason, you guys don't get that it wasn't her fault. Alia didn't just decide that we were done, just leave me because she felt like it or – or she fell out of love with me. It was my choice too. And it was the right choice for us then.' Rohit shakes his head, opening his mouth as though to refute, but Varun doesn't let him. 'Going our separate ways was the right choice then,' he repeats. 'But now, it's not. This is the right choice for us now.'
Rohit just shakes his head again, unable to say anything – and not for lack of wanting to. He knows that nothing is going to change his little brother's mind so he simply gets up and walks out, already hatching a plan.
What he doesn't realise is that his plan is only going to end up hurting his brother, that there's really no reason to try to change Varun's mind because, in all reality, there's nothing wrong in what he's thinking.
***
It's only a few days later, at Rohit's birthday lunch, that everything goes to hell in a handbasket.
Varun, who's planning to break the news to his parents over lunch, is more than a little surprised to see Natasha there. And, in all fairness, she seems just as confused as he is. 'You have any idea why Rohit invited me?' she asks in an undertone as they take their seats.
'I was about to ask you the same thing.' She looks at him, clearly surprised and a little troubled. 'But I'd bet it has something to do with the fact that he found out I'm thinking about proposing.'
'You finally found a ring then?' she asks, eyebrows shooting upwards in surprise. Both she and Sid have been hearing about his plan to propose for months now, if only he could find the right ring.
'Maybe. I dunno. It's not easy to find a decent ring. But bhaiya came into my room while I was ring shopping and saw what I was looking at. He assumed it was about you and, being the genius I am, I decided to tell the truth. He wasn't happy about it.'
It's then that Rohit interrupts their conversation, announcing to the whole family what he'd discovered on his little brother's computer screen, twisting the truth around to fit with what he thinks is best.
As he speaks, Natasha turns to look at her friend, eyes wide and full of sympathy. He refuses to look her way, refuses to look at any of them.
Because he knows what happens next. Knows that there's no way he can go ahead and propose to Alia now, not when his parents are convinced that he's going to propose to the girl sat next to him and are ecstatic about it.
***
It's the hardest thing he's ever had to do, explaining the situation to Alia. As he'd predicted, she doesn't take it well but, after they talk it over extensively, she comes around to understanding – although she doesn't at all like it.
For a while, they try to keep on the way they've been going but, after a few months, it becomes clear that it's not going to work. They agree to go on another break; neither will admit it but they're not sure how long this 'break' is going to last.
By the time they start working together for the fourth time, she's seeing someone new and he finds it more than a little difficult to accept the fact. It doesn't help that it's his brother's best friend, someone he's known his entire life – if anything, that only makes it worse.
Just as it had the time before, working together without falling back into their old patterns proves to be nigh on impossible. They try, both of them. She because she's wary of it now, and he because the last thing he wants to do is hurt her again.
But they can't help themselves. They've always been the way they are and neither of them have any doubt that it's the way they always will be. Once again, it's the outdoor shoot that gets them.
It's like reading the same story all over again. A hotel in Kashmir, a movie night in her room. He's just come back from a food run and they're lounging on the bed, reminiscing, laughing and joking. He makes a crack about her upcoming films, how soon enough she won't have time for him and she chucks a fry at him. He tries to catch it in his mouth and fails, the chip bouncing off his nose instead. She lets out a soft chuckle, looking at him with fondness written all over her face.
Time seems to slow, fading away with everything else as they look at each other. Neither of them says anything, both leaning towards each other.
They shouldn't let this happen, they know that. But they do anyway; they learnt a long time ago that resisting the pull between them is about as futile as resisting gravity.
They fall together, her hands coming up to his shoulders and then to wind in his hair while his come up to cup her face, one sliding back to tangle in her hair.
The rest of the world stops existing for the time being, everything but the two of them disappearing.
***
This time, it only lasts until the end of promotions. 'I don't want it to end Vee,' she tells him on the last day. 'Being with you, it always feels so right. But...'
'But somehow it's always the wrong time,' he finishes for her. She just nods, unable to say anything more. He doesn't say a thing either, simply reaching out and pulling her in for a hug.
***
It's nearly a year later when things finally fall together.
Rumours of his engagement are doing the rounds – again – and everyone in the world is pretty convinced she's going to be getting married soon too. In all honesty, neither is too sure of what's going to happen. All they know is that it all feels wrong, like something fundamental is out of place.
And then, on Valentine's day of all days, they run into each other again.
They're in a hotel, their rooms only two doors apart – and, up until they literally bump into each other in the hallway, they have no idea. 'Talk about déjà vu,' he says with a wry smile as he steadies her, arms wrapped around her waist.
'You, me, a hotel... definitely feels like I've seen this movie before,' she agrees, speaking softly, not wanting to break the moment.
'It's one I'd happily watch again.' She shakes her head with a laugh but doesn't deny that she would as well. 'Though, I have to say, I'd definitely change the ending.'
'Oh yeah, the ending sucked,' she agrees.
'We could always, I dunno, do a rewrite. See if we can't make it better,' he offers.
'Varun...' she trails off, her tone of voice more than enough to let him know exactly what she's thinking.
'I know. I know that we don't have the best track record but this is right. The two of us, we belong together, you know that.'
'I'm not trying to deny it Varun. It just never seems to be the right time.'
'Maybe this time will be.' She looks up at him, takes in the hope, the smile, the love that is so evident in his eyes and she just can't say no.
'Yeah, maybe it will be.'
***
Two years later, they're on a dance floor. Samjhawan is playing from the speakers that are wired all around the room but, apart from that, there's hardly a sound. His hands are on her waist and her arms are looped around his neck as they move to the tunes of the music. It's a position they've been in a million times, a dance they've performed over and over again.
But, for the first time, they're not performing for an audience, not dancing to promote their film.
This time, they're dancing together in front of a crowd made up of their family and friends, a crowd that's gathered for the sole purpose of celebrating them.
Because this time, for the first time, they're dancing as husband and wife.
And, if you ask either of them, everything is fundamentally right in the world.
I know it's late but it's Valentine's Day, a.k.a. this book's birthday so of course I had to post something. It's been four years since I wrote the very first one shot in this book and, honestly, I can't believe how far this has come. Not just how many parts, how many reads or votes or comments but the people I've got to know through this book and, honestly, how far I've come as a writer.
And, on that note, there's some news I'd like to share with you all. As some of you know, I've been working on a book called Have A Heart for a long while now. What you might not know is that it's always been a goal of mine to actually write and publish a book. After writing my book for nearly six years, I've managed to reach that goal. The eBook version of Have A Heart is officially available for preorder on amazon and the paperback version will be available on the 8th of March too.
Honestly, I want to tell you all that I wouldn't have been able to do it without all of you reading and supporting my work. You all gave me the courage and confidence to be able to finish and publish this book. Thank you, to every single one of you, really.
And, lastly, I want you all to know that this doesn't mean that I'm not going to be writing anymore one shots or continuing my books on here because I absolutely am. So, that's all for today. I'll see you all next time.