One Shots #VariaSquad

Sweet Torment

A/N: Because it's been 5 years of this book today and I couldn't let it go without writing at least on more. 

Basic info about this OS: it's set some years in the future. Varun is single (whether he was every married or not is up to you to decide) 

He's sat on his sofa, head in his hands, when she walks in to his trailer. From the slump of his shoulders, the disarray of his hair, the way his fingers are still wound through it, it's clear to her that he's more than a little worn out. 

He heaves a sigh, the sound so very weary that she almost decides to turn around and walk straight back out the door, not wanting to add to the weight that's clearly crushing him. 

But, as she turns to go, she hears another sound, this one leaning more towards broken than simply weary, and she can't help but remember a time when she'd felt that way. A time when he'd been there for her to pull her out of the depths of her own darkness, to help her shoulder the weight. And, despite the fact that she came here for a very different reason, she decides that it doesn't matter; what she needed when she walked in the door seems insignificant when she's faced with her obviously distressed best friend. 

So, without giving herself more than the time it takes to breathe, she speaks. 'Varun,' she calls, keeping her voice soft. 

'What?' he snaps without looking round, making her wince. 

'Uhm, you know what? Never mind. I uh, I think I'll just come back when you're in a better mood,' she says, immediately regretting her decision to stay, to try and help. It's pretty damn apparent to her that she's not the right person to help him. 

'Wait, no,' he calls, his head shooting up, his body following seconds after. 

'Look, this clearly isn't a good time and I don't want to add to that.' He opens his mouth, the expression on his face making it clear to her that he's about to argue, probably to say something along the lines of don't be silly Al, you could never add to it, and she holds up a hand. His mouth snaps closed again and he simply looks at her, waiting for her to speak. 'I can tell when I'm not wanted V-Varun;' she stumbles over his name, having to force herself not to use the nickname that comes so easily to her tongue. 'I'll just go.' 

'Come on Al, don't be ridiculous,' he says, a smile that is far too easy coming to his face. 'You know that I always want you around.' She gives him a look that clearly says she doesn't believe him and he sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. When his hand drops, so does the smile and she can see all his emotions written on his face, plain as day. And for someone who knows him as well as she does, it's easy to tell that he's telling the truth, he really doesn't want her to leave. Looking beyond that, she can see that there're things he wants to say but doesn't know how, that there's so much weighing on him he might just break from the load. That he needs her to stay, needs to talk to her, just as much as she needs to talk to him. 

But, despite being able to see that, there's a part of her that's telling her she needs to go, that she can't be his pillar if he doesn't want her to be. And his reaction to her presence made it clear that he doesn't want her to.

She opens her mouth to tell him so but he speaks before she can. 'Look, if you're about to leave because of me snapping when you walked in here, don't, please. That... it had nothing to do with you, honestly, I've just been-' 

'Oh please don't,' she all but groans, cutting him off before he can finish. 'I've already had one it's not you, it's me speech today; I don't think I can take another one.'  For a moment, he just stares at her, unable to comprehend the meaning of her words.