One Shots #VariaSquad

War

So, I was listening to the song War by Jay Sean and I was on twitter and I may have come across a few Varia pics so this happened. By the way, if you've never heard the song, give it a listen. It's absolutely beautiful.
Varun P.O.V.

Pen in hand, paper on the desk in front of me, I began to write a letter I probably should have written long ago.

Alu, I think it's about time I let you go, not that I really still have you anyway. But before I can, there's somethings I need you to know.

I would march across the desert to defeat my enemy

It wasn't a desert, it was just a short stretch of road that I would have to drive. He isn't my enemy, not really. He's one of my best friends, or he was. But he's with you. The only girl I've ever actually properly fallen in love with. What's worse is he's the only person who knows how I feel about you. He's the only person I told that I'm in love with you. But he still decided to ask you out. So I guess in a way he is my enemy.

And I would lie here in the trenches with your picture next to me

I don't know about trenches, but I've spent so many nights lying in my bed looking at your picture. Looking at your smiling face. Looking at you, Alia. My Alia.

And when I told you it's forever, then it's how its gonna be

I had promised you I'd always be there for you, I'd never leave you. I thought you'd never want me to leave. You asked me not to leave you so I gave you my forever. Maybe you didn't want it after all.

Don't, won't let him just take the place of me (No..)

I guess it wasn't really my place. We had just been friends nothing more. Except I fell in love with you.

In a way he did take my place. I don't think I'm even counted as your friend anymore. We were best friends, each other's support. And now, you have a new pillar to lean on while I'm trying to pick myself up from the ground.

Does he really know you like I know you, all the little things?

Does he know the way you can't sleep without having warm milk?

Does he know that you have a thousand different smiles?

Can he tell them all apart?

Does he really love you, like I love you, how can he compete?

Maybe he does love you like I do, but I know that he doesn't love you nearly as much as I love you. Nobody will ever love you as much as I love you.

If he makes me fight for you, die for you, would he do the same?

I would do anything for you. There was that one time I had almost died for you. Okay, not died. But I almost fell down a flight of stairs to stop you from falling.

I would fight for you, but do you want me to? You seem happy with him. It makes me wonder if I could make you that happy. If I ever made you smile like that. Somehow, I doubt it.

This is turning into way more than a game..

It was never a game, was it, Alu? Games require more than one player. I was never a player in this game, not really. I couldn't win your heart and I don't deserve it either. You deserve better than me and you've definitely found someone who's, I won't say good enough because that's impossible but, deserves your love.

Now it feels like soldiers in a war and none of us are backing down

I may not be fighting, but I'm not backing down. I'll wait. Not for you to love me, because I know it won't happen, but to have my friend back.

And I will show you victory is mine before we leave this battleground

It's not really about victory. He's already won. I just have issues coming to terms with the fact that I've lost you.

Cause he don't wanna leave, and I don't wanna go

I can't blame him for not wanting to leave. Who would want to leave you?

I don't want to go. Really, I don't. But if that's what you want, I will.

And I know just how this battle goes

It ends up with all of us hurt and I don't want that. I don't care what happens to me but I don't want you to be hurt. And hurting him will hurt you so I don't want him to get hurt either.

He don't wanna leave and I don't wanna fight this kind of war

I just want you to be happy. But am I not allowed to be a little selfish? I need you.

You know he's not the man you think he is; he's hiding all his flaws

Does he even have flaws? He seems like the perfect guy.

So tell me what's the point of fighting? Because we'll all end up with scars

I think I have enough scars. Maybe I'm wrong.

But girl if that's what I must go through, then I'm not prepared to lose
Cause I've already bled so much for you (No..)

I feel like I'm half dead without you. It's like I've forgotten how to live. I'm breathing and my heart is beating but I'm not alive.

Does he really know you like I know you, all the little things?
Does he really love you, like I love you, how can he compete?
If he makes me fight for you, I die for you, would he do the same?
Baby this is turning into way more than a game..

Baby cause we're soldiers in a war and none of us are backing down
And I will show you victory is mine before we leave this battleground
Cause he don't wanna leave, and I don't wanna go
And I know just how this battle goes
He don't wanna leave and I don't wanna fight this kind of war (No, No..)

Getting kind of sick of this battle
Wish I could take it back to when I had you
I'm always thinking that I can have you, just let him have you

I never really had you, Alia. I was and am yours, but you were never mine.

It's getting kinda hard to convince you
After all the shit that we've been through

You didn't leave me when I was depressed after Badlapur. I yelled and screamed at you, very nearly hurt you. I told you to get lost, that I didn't want you around. You still stayed.

I didn't leave when you broke down afterwards. When I got better and you didn't need to hold me up anymore. You told me you hated me. Said I was an ass and asked me if I had any idea how much I made you worry. I'm sorry for making you worry, Alu. But I didn't leave then, do I have to now?

What, would you let all this happen?
You gotta choice to make it stop
It's already going too far..

I don't want you to chose between us. Just, please, don't leave me by myself. I can't do this by myself.

Girl we're soldiers in a war and none of us are backing down
And I will show you victory is mine before we leave this battleground
Cause he don't wanna leave, and I don't wanna go
And I know just how this battle goes
He don't wanna leave and I don't wanna fight this kind of war

Cause he don't wanna leave, and I don't wanna go
And I know just how this battle goes
He don't wanna leave and I don't wanna fight this kind of war..

If you want me to leave, if you want me to get out of your life, I will and you'll never have to see me again.

But if and when you do need me, I'll be here for you.

I promise.

Yours,

Varun.