One Shots #VariaSquad

Happy Valentine's Day

Warning: strange happenings ahead.

Varun P.O.V. 

14th February, Valentine's Day. Usually, I looked forward to the day, liked the thought of setting aside time to spend with loved ones, make them feel special. This year though, I wished I could skip the day, fast forward past it. The only good thing about it was that we were starting the shoot for Sui Dhaga but I found I couldn't even be properly excited for that - not with the prospect of what the evening meant hanging over my head.

Because, though I'd spend the day on set, filming for one of my most exciting projects ever, the evening would mean another public outing with my girlfriend. Now, it might sound insane that I would dread such a thing but I hate the way everything has to be so public with her nowadays. She used to be fine with it being kept quiet but recently she wanted people to know and I was getting so fed up of it. I'd tried to keep things from the media, tried so hard not to let people know and keep her from the limelight, keep my personal life private, but somehow, it never worked. It was getting to the point where spending time with her was more a chore than anything else, just another thing I had to do, like a meeting I had to attend.

I wanted so badly to be done with it but I couldn't be. I'd tried and failed to end it; no matter what I did, I was always persuaded to give it another shot, just one more chance. But it was never just one more, it was another and another and sometimes it felt like I was trapped in an endless cycle. And on top of that, I had to deal with so many people scoffing at my 'loyal boyfriend' act, and others - or specifically one other - suffering for it.

I wasn't stupid though, I knew when and how it would end. Ever since these publicity stunts of hers started, I had realised what it was about, what our entire relationship was really about. I was being used, I knew that. Once she had achieved what she wanted, Natasha would drop me like a used towel and probably somehow turn the blame around to put it on me. When I'd first put the pieces together and figured it out, I'd been angry and hurt and had come close to raging at her but now I couldn't care less. The thought of my image being spoiled didn't bother me, nor did the thought of being used like a stepping stone - not anymore. I just wanted it to be done with, the sooner the better.

Of course, with Shiddat on the offing and October promotions starting soon, I could only expect an increase in having to make these appearances. People would see it as damage control, me trying to prove that the articles that would come out about Natasha's insecurities regarding my co-stars false, and probably take them to be the opposite - because if I had to prove her insecurities were false, obviously they weren't - but nobody would know that it wasn't me trying to prove anything. She'd always had a problem with Alia, right from the start, and it didn't surprise me that she had problems with Banita too, always giving me looks when her name was brought up.

Yet, despite the prospect of having to deal with a huge increase in Natasha's ridiculous need to prove a point to the world, the thought of starting Shiddat gave me a little boost. It was in part because Sui Dhaga came before it and that would likely lessen the severity of the repercussions of Shiddat but mostly because starting it meant getting back to work with Alia and, though I couldn't explain to her why I was doing what I was, not yet anyway, I would at least have an excuse to talk to her.

And I know this is the part where you all start to think yeah, if she'll even talk to you and she's probably too mad at you to want to interact with you but you're wrong. I'd not been able to tell her my reasons for suddenly changing my tune and becoming someone that seemed to be a 'model boyfriend' or why I'd suddenly cut down our conversations by half - by no means had I cut her out, even with how difficult it was to actually find a time we could talk - but I'd told her that I would explain when I could and that hopefully it would be soon and, bizarrely, she trusted me enough to believe me. It disappointed her - angered her, hurt her - to see me out with Natasha, that much I knew, but she didn't allow it to impede our friendship more than was necessary. All the same, it was getting to be harder and harder to keep up with it by the day, the stress of having to keep our friendship hidden driving me to the brink of insanity.