A/N
This is a request from quillbriar ! Thanks so much and I hope you like it!
((it's a lil PG-13 oops))
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"I don't know, Jaime. He's gonna be there. I'm not sure if I can see him again."
"(Y/n), sweetie, it's been almost 6 years. You've moved on. He's a different guy. You've both changed." Maybe he had, but I hadn't. Not completely. But I didn't want Jaime to know that. It was embarrassing to still be so affected by something that went down so long ago. "It's for the 10th anniversary of the show and everyone else is gonna be there! It just wouldn't be the same without you."
I thought for a moment. I would love to be with everyone again. Starkid and the Potter musicals were a part of me and they always would be. I had really missed performing and meeting fans. Interacting online never felt like enough.
It was smart of Holden and the Lang boys to enlist Jaime to ask me. They knew that she was the member of Starkid that I had remained closest with. She had a way of getting to me. She's a very persuasive person.
"Alright, I'll go." I heard Jaime cheer on the other end of the phone call.
"Yay! It's gonna be so fun! You can stay with Andrew and me!"
~
As I walked into the rehearsal space with Jaime, my nerves were spiking. It had been so long since I'd seen most of these people. I really missed performing with them. But still, seeing him was going to be tricky.
We walked over to talk with Joey, Lauren, Joe Moses, and Bonnie. I was so happy to see them all. We shared hugs and caught each other up on our lives. Each time the door opened, we looked to see who it was and welcomed them to the mini conversations. Darren, Julia, and Lily joined us pretty quickly.
And then Joe Walker came in. He greeted everyone with strong hugs. When he turned to me, his smile fell a little.
"Hey, (y/n)."
"Hi."
He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "How have you been? You look amazing."
"Thank you." I hated the way the compliment made me blush. I smiled weakly. "And I've been good. What about you?"
"Good! Good." I nodded. I could feel Jaime watching us. "Are you excited to do the show?"
"Yeah, I am. It's really to cool to see everyone. It's gonna be fun."
"Yeah, I'm sure. How long has it been since..." he trailed off and lowered his gaze.
"6 years." My smile vanished.
"I'm really sorry. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know, Joe. It's been so long."
"So, we're okay?" His eyes met mine again.
I thought for a moment. His soft gaze was melting my tough exterior away. "Yeah, Joe. We're okay."
His sweet smile came back and he nodded. "Good."
~
Darren had arranged this fancy party to celebrate after Homecoming. It was loud and crowded and I was tipsy. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Joe. He was nursing a beer and his shirt had the first two buttons undone. I swallowed and looked at his eyes.
"Hey." I smiled and took another sip of my drink.
"Come with me?" He asked. I nodded and he took my hand. As we walked through the house, it felt like one of those college parties. It reminded me of the night we had our first kiss.
We went into a bedroom and he closed the door. He sat down on the edge of the bed. I downed the rest of my drink as I wandered around the room, admiring the decor.
"You were great tonight."
"Thanks," I said, turning to smile at him. "You were too."
"Thank you."
"You've really gotten better over the years." He laughed and I realized how that sounded. "Not that you used to suck! I just mean you've gotten even better. It'd just been so long since I'd heard you sing."
"It's fine! I know what you meant." He stood up and walked towards me. "I really missed your voice. And you."
I blushed. He was giving me butterflies again. "I missed you too."
"Really?" I just nodded back.
And suddenly his lips were on mine. I kissed him back with even more passion. My hands were holding his neck as his strong arms held our bodies as close together as possible. His tongue slipped into my mouth. The incredible feeling brought me back to when we had first started hooking up. Everything was so full of passion and innocence. We were still in college.
And then I thought about when it became more than just sleeping together. We were graduated but still doing shows. He was the first to admit he had caught feelings, but I had loved him for a while. I was so happy that day. We started dating for real. Everything was so perfect for us.
His mouth left mine to attach to my neck. I let out a soft moan as he sucked hard on the sensitive skin. I felt him smile. His hands moved to pull my tucked in shirt out of the waistband of my pants. His thumbs rubbed soft circles against the exposed skin.
But then I remembered the bad. The late nights out. The ignored phone calls. The terrible fights that lasted days. The passive aggression at rehearsals. And I remembered the other woman.
I pulled back and shoved him off of me. I caught my breath as I fixed my shirt. He was taking heavy sighs as well. I watched the rise and fall of his chest. His hair had been messed up by my delicate fingers. He looked so good.
"What? What's wrong?" He took a step towards me but I took one away from him and my back hit the wall. I hadn't noticed the way my eyes were welling with tears. I was sobering up quickly.
"I can't do this Joe. Not again. I can't put myself through this again." I was shaking my head. His features fell and he looked down at his hands.
"Oh." A hand raised to run through his hair and scratch his head. "Okay. I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. I guess I just...I don't even know."
I looked at him in pain and I felt everything again. "Do you know how much it broke me?" I asked, my voice timid. He looked up at me again. He shook his head. "I almost didn't agree to go to this homecoming because of you. I was so scared to see you again. I haven't watched any of the Starkid shows that you've been in. I can't do it."
"I'm sorry."
"What you did destroyed me, Joe." He had tears in his eyes now. I could see how truly sorry he was. "But I still loved you. That was why it hurt me so bad. Through it all, I still loved you more than I could fathom. But I couldn't keep putting myself through that anymore. I couldn't stay with you and keep hoping one day you'd wake up and realize that I was enough for you."
"But you were!" He cut me off. He walked closer to me and grabbed my hands. I couldn't get away from him and I wasn't sure I wanted to. "You were more than enough, (y/n)."
"Then why did you do it?"
He sighed and shook his head. "Because I was a fucking idiot?" I laughed. "I was selfish! I didn't know what I was doing or how much it would hurt you. I was young and she was giving me attention that you hadn't been giving me at the time."
He wiped away a tear that fell down my cheek. I let my eyes close.
"And I was always scared you'd leave me," he admitted.
"What?"
"We were fighting so much." He shook his head. "You're so beautiful. I was sure you'd be able to find some other guy way better than me."
"You cheated on me because you were scared I'd cheat on you first?" I asked. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
"I know, I know!" He brushed my hair back as he looked down at me. "I was so stupid. But I'm not that guy anymore."
"How am I supposed to believe you?" I took his hand away from my face and he intertwined our fingers.
"I don't know. I've never forgiven myself for what I did back then and I couldn't imagine hurting you ever again." He kissed the backs of both of my hands. "Please give me another chance."
As I looked up at him, my heart was beating out of my chest. It was a mix of fear, adrenaline, excitement, and love. That fucking love that never wanted to leave.
I stood onto my toes to press my lips to his. I felt him smile against my mouth. His hands moved to the wall on either side of me as mine held his hips. My fingers linked through his belt loops, tugging him closer to me. He laughed as our kisses grew sloppier.