Chapter 23
Adam
I sat frustrated in the conference room. I was trying to write a eulogy for James and Ross.
As much as I love Jennifer, she never saw me at my lowest like they did. And now I'm no words on this Earth that can describe the sacrifice they made for me. They were better than any man in my life.
Better than me.
Better than Michael or Brandon. And sure as hell better than Rodger.
Knock knock
My head shot up. "Come in".
It was Thomas,"Sir, I think you need to see this". He said holding out a tablet for me.
I took his tablet and put the video up on the flat screen TV mounted above fireplace.
It was the BBC.
"....News is pouring about an uncovered sex ring scandal in the heart of Moscow. We've been told these finding are highly rare and unusual, especially for the area. Twenty-three, illegally trafficked children all raging between the ages of four to seventeen were found early this morning. Local authorities had this to say---"
I turned it off,"Where did the manifesto for the plane say it was going?" I asked Thomas giving him back his tablet.
"Moscow, sir".
I picked up my phone and called Jennifer,"Thank you, Thomas".
Vvvzzzzzttttt vvvvvzzzzzttt vvvvzzzttt
As Thomas left, Jennifer walked in dressed in a silk red rod,"You rang?" She shut the door behind Thomas.
"I feel like I shouldn't have to ask because I already know the answer. But while you were in Moscow did you uncover an illegal child sex ring? And then blast it all over international news stations?"
"Yes, and I know you're not happy about it. But..." She reached into her pocket and pull out a small book. Jennifer tossed it on the table.
Curious as to how this book was going to fix anything I look through it. "Love, its all over the BBC. God knows what's going on in America and the rest of the EU. We can't ....."
I trailed off.
Lap dance.
69
Let me be you fantasy.
Nooner.
Ass play.
Blow job.
Morning sex.
Command the night.
Roleplay.
BDSM.
A day in bed.
Risky Sex Act.
Send a tasteful nude.
Emergency quickie.
Wild card.
I looked to Jennifer who was now sitting on the table next to me with a sexy smile,"I have one more for you".
"Yes, please", Yes, 100% fine with this. She rolled out my chair and stood in the middle of my leg. She let the red silk robe fall to the ground. I could feel my erection pushing hard against my pants. I could feel it throbbing, wanting to feel her hand, her mouth, her pussy. Jennifer wore a black galloon lace bralette with lattice back detail and picot elastic trim and a matching lace thong. There was a single card like the coupons book in the straps of her bra. I reached out to grab it like a fat kid in a candy shop.
It read.
Forget me?
"I mean you did save children from sexual enslavement. So how can I be mad at that?"
"Really?" She said not buying that.
"Absolutely", I confirmed.
She raised an eyebrow and said,"So if I put this robe back on, you would be completely fine?"
"Hey, hey, hey, lets not jump there", I said kicking the robe away. Jennifer laughed and pulled her on to my lap. Hovering inches away from her full red lip. With a familiar husk I asked,"But really are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I won't drop off the face of the Earth like that again", Her slim hand slowly reached out and rubbed across my thigh towards my aching hard-on. "How are you holding up?"
As her hand reached my cock and squeezed through my pants, I closed my eyes and let out a moan. Suddenly Jennifer stood and straddled me, kissing me hard while she grinded her hips against mine. In between kisses I said,"Writing a eulogy. Struggling".
"Do you want help?"
"No. I have to fine....right words", I felt all of my reservations drain away. All he wanted to do was fuck her on his desk right now. I guided her back gently, laying her on the desk. I got to rip off her lingerie. My cock throbbed against the confines of my own pants as I took in the sight of my beautiful wife.
"You're so fucking gorgeous," I said, leaning down and nipping at her inner thigh. She let out a gasp and wrapped her legs around me, desperately trying to pull me towards her pussy. I obliged, pulling her thong aside with one hand while gently teasing her with the other. "Fuck, you're so wet already," I said quietly, leaning forward and flicking her clit with my tongue. She whimpered softly and pulled her legs tighter around me. I began licking and sucking at her clit passionately while I slid a finger inside her pussy. She barely managed to keep quiet as I ate her out, and before long she was about to climax.
"Oh, God, I'm gonna cum," she whimpered desperately, gripping the edges of the desk for support. I moaned and felt her pussy clench as she climaxed, filling my mouth with her juices. As she finished, I stood and began to take off my pants. She sat up and ripped his shirt open, tearing off a few of the buttons. I was so horny and desperate to fuck her that I didn't care about anything else.
Jennifer ran her hands up and down my chest, leaning forward and teasing my nipple with her tongue. She gently nibbled on it and I inhaled sharply. Jennifer looked up to me and said, "Did that hurt?"
"Fuck, no. Do it again." She closed her eyes and began to lick and suck my nipple while I finished undoing my pants and finally freeing my cock. I rubbed it with my hand slowly while I watched Jennifer licking me. After a few seconds, I roughly pulled her head back and she looked up at him. "I want to fuck you so hard," I said huskily "Turn around."
Jennifer complied and turned to face away from me, her ass in the air as she leaned over the desk. I could hear Jennifer breathing hard in anticipation. I held onto her hips and slid himself into her slowly, stifling a moan.
"Oh God," I whispered through my teeth as I began pumping in and out of her soaking wet pussy. I could feel I wasn't going to last long; my cock was on fire with pleasure. Jennifer was trying desperately not to make any noise, but he could hear her gasping with pleasure. I started to thrust faster and harder, losing myself in the moment.
"Oh, yes! Oh Adam, cum for me," Jennifer whimpered, reaching her hand down between her legs and rubbed my balls while I thrusted. I gasped at the sudden pleasure and almost immediately lost control, cumming hard and shooting my load into her tight pussy. We both stayed in position for a minute, breathing hard and reveling in the moment. Finally I pulled out of her and she turned around to look. "Wow, you must've really missed me," she said softly out of breath.
I collapse back into the chair and Jennifer laid lazily on the table. "You have no idea".
Breathing hard she said,"Did we inspire any creative writing?"
"I think we can if I use this", I said holding up my sex coupon book. I stood up and found her rode. I helped her put it on ,"We could get somewhere".
I ripped out the day in bed coupon and held it up. She took it from me in her mouth. O hell yes, I'm using that today. After the phone calls I had to do yesterday and the sleepless night I had this is definitely what I needed. "Go up stairs", I said ready to have her again.
She kissed my neck and hopped off of the table letting her body slide against mine exactly where it should be. Jennifer took the coupon out of her mouth and put it back in my pocket,"I want it to".
I had to stop my self I'm pushing her back down onto the table and taking her again. She started to walk away I couldn't help myself I slapped her ass. And she laughed running upstairs.
I zipped my pants up and headed into the kitchen if we were going to spend all day in bed we needed wine and food. Opening the refrigerator I found lots of wine and no food.
Damn.
I went to the pantry and found crackers.
What the hell? We have no food.
Wine and crackers it is then.
I made it upstairs in record time. I found Jennifer naked on the bed bath in sunlight. Her skin glistened from the workout she just got. I put the wine and crackers on the nightstand and stripped down to join her.
I lost count on how many time we made love and fucked. I only pulled out of her when I was sure my dick was about to fall off. I had no more cum in my balls and no strength left. And even then I was apprehensive.
I collapsed on top of her. I trying to roll off of her but Jennifer encouraged me to stay on top of her. I listen to her breathe in complete bliss. I held on to one of her breast running my thumb over her sensitive nipples,"Having fun down there?"
"More than you know", I ran my tongue over her nipple before rolling off of her. I pulled her close to me ready for bed at the late hour of 3pm.
Jennifer sat up on her elbows looking down at me,"I love you, Adam".
"Hhmm say it again", she did. "Again", she did and kissed me. I looked up at her and I saw the best part of me. Everything I ever wanted, everything I could need was staring back at me.
"I love you", My wife, my lover, my partner, my soulmate. I reached out to brush her hair out of her face and for a moment I saw something. I couldn't quite place the look maybe it was just a feeling.
"Adam?"
I held her hand,"Yes?"
I saw apprehension in her eyes I heard it in her voice," I just want to say I'm here if you need me for the eulogy".
"Are you sure that's what you wanted to say?" Her eyes told a completely different story. "You can tell me anything, you know that, love".
Whenever it is I'll fix it. Whatever needs to be done will happen. She was hurt. That's what I'm seeing.
Hurt.
Sadness.
Melancholy.
And her hurt covers me like a cloak I never wanted, bonding to my skin when all I ever wanted was her to be happy.
"Yeah, I'm fine", oh so they started to realize that even if she wasn't fine. Jennifer would never let me know unless she really needed my help. She would be strong for everyone and I think now it's finally starting to wear on her.
"You aren't, you can't lie to me", I said.
"It...it's like I'm standing at the bottom of a well, looking up at the circle of light where people are having normal, happy lives, and I can't climb out. Sometime I feeling like I am coming apart. And I feel this intense need to pretend like I'm fine and everything is ok. When, its not. I'm not fine".
I sat up,"What can I do to help?"
Her eyes drip with tears. Her walls, the walls that hold her up, and her strong just... collapse. Moment by moment, they fall. I held her in my arms. And let her cry. It's raw, everything, raw tears, raw emotions. She couldn't stop.
What happened in Moscow?
I held her until she finally calmed down.
Love what's wrong.
I know she has to know.
She fell asleep in my arms and I tucked to her in the bed. I whipped her tear stained face clean and looked down at Jennifer. Something was wrong. No, something has been wrong.
And if she won't admit it to herself, she sure as hell won't admit it to me.
I got out of bed a search the floor for her phone.
Found it!
I unlocked it, and found probably the only person who could tell me what was wrong. I put on some sweats and stepped outside onto the balcony. It was six in the evening here but it was eleven in Missouri.
Elliott picked up on the fourth ring,"In my defense, we really did need those new PCR".
"What?" I said sitting down.
"O thank God its you. I've been doing some upgrading around here, but it's been quite expensive. I've been waiting for a phone call", Elliott said.
"Answer my question, I'll give you the money to cover for it", I said not caring if I went broke. Something was wrong with Jennifer.
"Shoot, it's on the house. What's the problem?"
" I need doctor patient confidentiality", I said no one is getting her ever found out she would be pissed I was trying to have someone diagnose her.
"You have gonorrhea or chlamydia? Both of which aren't deadly. You'll need a prescription though--"
"No, it's not me it's Jennifer", I said.
"She needs the prescription?"
"No, something is wrong with her. I'm not going to lie me have a bit of a situation here", I said explaining everything.
"Okay, so you a new mom, which is already stressful to begin with, and you've had more stress and anxiety. Mood swings, possible insomnia anything else?"
I looked back to the bed and saw Jennifer still sleeping,"As much as I know".
"Baby blues, would be my best guess. Does she have a history of mental health problems? Depression, self harm, anxiety? I know her personality pretty well but it's not like we braid each other's hair and swap stories about our personal problems".
I paused.
I needed help, but at the same time I wanted to keep this private. Elliot didn't need to know about Jennifer's past. In all the years we've been together she only spoke about having depression and hurting herself once. And we never spoke of it again.
"I can't help you if you hold back. I promise you on the Hippocratic Oath whatever you tell me stays between us. Unless, I feel like she is a danger to herself or to others then I have to do something. Legally, I have to do something", Elliott stated.
"No problems with mental health", I said.
"Then I would say it's baby blues. It's very common. Baby blues are very common, occurring in up to 80 percent of new mothers. It's a very normal reactions that many mothers experience following childbirth", Elliott said making me feel better. So this was just the aftermath of having twins.
Okay.
She's fine. Just her hormones are all out of whack.
"But", Elliott continued,"Baby blues generally do not last for more than a few weeks. And how old are your babies?"
"Eight weeks", I atmitted.
"That's what worries me. I'm not an OB/GYN doctor. But, I'll share my medical opinion based on what you've told me. Not speaking to Jennifer directly. If a mother continues to experience moods swings or feelings of depression for more than two weeks after childbirth, the problem may be more serious".
"Don't say that", I said.
"I have to if I don't have the actual patient in front of me. When a new mother has severe depression, which is what you are kind of hinting at, the mother-child relationship may become strained. She may be less able to respond to her child’s needs. Studies have shown that the more depressed the mom is, the greater the delay in the infant’s development".
NO.
He continued ,"The mom's attention to her newborn is particularly important immediately following birth because the first year of life is a critical time in cognitive development".
Rubbing my template I said,"So I'm either looking at Baby Blues, depression, postpartum depression anything else?"
"She could have a form of PTSD or postpartum psychosis, a condition that affects about one-tenth of 1 percent of new mothers. But, I would go with postpartum depression. If you can get Jennifer to Missouri I can look at her. Then I can prescribe her a medication, I would recommend therapy as well and check-ins every two weeks".
"Thank you, really I mean it. I'll see what I can do on my end", I said not believing I miss this. This didn't just happen overnight or when she went to Moscow this has been an ongoing thing that completely flew under my radar.
"The best thing you can do as you is make sure she gets exercise, no caffeine because it could trigger her mood swings and possible anxieties, she should be encouraged to talk about her feelings or fears with others", Elliott added.
"Yeah, okay. I'll do that".
"It's not the end of the world", Elliott said trying to comfort me,"Many women have postpartum depression and they get to have healthy stable relationships with their children".
God I hope so.
I ended the call.
This explains a lot. The nonstop sex, mood swings, not sleeping, that walk to my parents house. I thought back to everything I could that happened these last eight weeks. She was desperate to get back to work, she was never around the twins when she didn't have to be.
Fuck.
I missed it.
I missed it all. I don't have a single fucking excuse for me. She was trying to take care of me and help me with James and Ross when it's her that needs help.
I walk back inside the room and put Jennifer's phone by her nightstand. I crawled back in bed and held her. Whatever happens, we'll face it together.
I pulled her close afraid to let go.
We'll face it together.