When he said he wasn't going to let me sleep last night, I didn't think he was being completely serious. It was definitely a long night, but I'm not complaining.
Negan was out and around the Sanctuary and Hecate was probably cracking bad jokes with Scott. Going through some things in our room, I remembered what I found in my old drawer - back at Alexandria. Going over to my more new set of drawers, I opened it up, and pulled the item out.
'I don't know how I found paper or a pencil, but, I'm sorry for what I'm going to do -Daryl'
I went over the note dozens of times, way too much for my own good, honestly. I, slowly, bent my knees and crossed my legs, as I sat on the floor. I stared at the paper, then put it onto the floor, infront of me. Holding it from the side, I stared at the black coloured weapon. His weapon. His crossbow. In my drawer.
Goosebumps ran over me as I imagined him writing it and putting it where I found it. I clenched my jaw, and swallowed hard, remembering what he did. How long ago did he write this? Did he write it for what I think? Or spreading those rumours? So many questions for someone so dead.
No matter how many times he could've written 'sorry', it wasn't going to make things magically okay. It wasn't going to bring back my baby. It wasn't going to make me regret letting him die. My brows furrowed, how much I wanted to snap this crossbow in half.
Slowly, I could feel the anger just build up inside of me. There wasn't anyone here I could take it out on, if only we were at Alexandria now. Sure, there was Jenni. But she wasn't worth even that. I wonder if Dwight would like this piece of crap. Staring at the different pieces that built it up, I thought of all of the questions I would ask him if he were still alive, and here - in his cell.
Pausing, my eyes darted to a random point on the floor. My ears spiked up as the sound of whistling filled them. A familiar tune. I listened in so carefully, I heard as each footstep of theirs worked well with the tune. I was so lost in what I was listening to, I forgot that they were heading for our room. The door knob creaked as it turned, the door opened. My eyes hopped along the way, going up them.
Black boots, jeans, belt, white top: Negan. He had come to a shuffling stop as his sweet whistling ended immediately. He stared down to what I was holding, at first I hadn't realised.
"You're here?" I asked, relaxing. As his eyebrows slowly furrowed, he nodded. He stared suspiciously at the crossbow, pointing to it, he asked: "Why the fuck do you have that?" Looking down to it, I, finally, realised and shook my head. "Just, found it yesterday while looking through my old drawers back at Alexandria. He wrote this shitty short note too," I explained, standing up, but then bending back down to get the note. I waved it in the air to him, showing him.
As he walked in, he shut the door behind him, and stretched out his arm to take it. I watched him as he read over it. He scoffed, "'sorry' sure his dead ass is" I agreed, "I was just starting to get myself pissed off about it completely, but then you walked in. But, it's all good" He handed back the note, as I put it down with the crossbow - on top of the drawer.
"What are you going to do with it?" He asked, looking over to it. I looked back to it, and shrugged, "Might as well let Dwight finish his collection" A small side smile came to his lips as I turned to him. "You make it sound as if Dwight is a fan," He told me. I chuckled, "Who knows?" "Do you want me to go?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Raising one side of my nose, for a second, with some sort of a smile, I shook my head, "I'll do it, I'll go see what Hecate's up to too" He hummed and nodded once.
Picking up the crossbow, I headed over to the door. Just as I opened it a few centimetres, I heard: "Y/N?!" I turned, almost instantly, to Negan. "What's wrong?!" I asked, in a bit of a panic. He was facing away from me, downwards as he sat on the bed. "Come here!" I swore under my breath and ran over to him, "What?" As soon as I bent over slightly, moving my head to see his face. He looked up to me, quickly holding my chin, and pecked my lips.
I blinked blankly for a second, "What..? Negan! I was so worried!" I hit his arm. Pretending to be hurt, he rubbed his arm and apologised, "Sorry, sorry..." A small smile planted onto his face as I huffed a smile. "I'm leaving now," I told him, walking back to the door. He yelled 'bye' and I yelled one back. And as I walked down the stairs, I smiled to myself, thinking: 'What an idiot'
Assuming Dwight was playing a dreadful song to some of the 'prisoners', I headed over there first. Nodded to the guard, I said, "Dwight?" Pointing further in. He nodded, "Yes ma'am" As I carried of walking in, I huffed at 'ma'am'. It was seriously going to take some time getting used to that.
My stomach swirled sick at the tune of the song in the distance. Sure, it was bad for a reason, but even I couldn't handle that crap. As I walked in, trying not to vomit, I called out his name. He turned to me, as I walked into his view, "What can I do for you?" "Here's a gift," I said bluntly, holding up the crossbow, "finish your collection" His eyebrows raised, as he took it. Nodding, he thanked me, "Thank you ma'am... thanks a lot" Ignoring the fact that he called me 'ma'am', I nodded back to him. "You are welcomed." I turned on my heal, swiftly, and left.
Nodding to the guard, I turned a corner and ran into someone. "Fuck-" "Watch where you're going!" I was interrupted. My eyes shot open wide, in rage, taking a second to look at their face. My eyes relaxed and I calmed down as I raised an eyebrow, "Hecate?" She hummed, looking to me, "Oh," She laughed nervously, "Sorry mum." I shook it off, "It's fine, what are you doing anyway? I was just about to check up on you, actually"
She stuttered lightly, "Uh- Nothing... why? Did someone tell you something?" Furrowing my brows in confusion, "What are you talking about? No, no one told me anything. It was just a question..." She apologised again, sighing. "What's wrong?" I asked. She held the top of her own shoulder with the opposite hand, looking to the side for only a second, "It's... um- it's okay"
Before she tried to walk away, her arms flopped to her sides, and I held her arm lightly. "Talk to me when you need to," I told her, then letting her go.