One Shots #VariaSquad

Can't Remember to Forget You

The car screeches to a stop, the driver shouting after his passenger to be careful as she opens the door, her feet on the ground before the wheels have fully stopped turning. To the left, a similar scene is occurring, the passenger of the car throwing the door open and tumbling out while the vehicle is still in motion, only it is definitely a male that exits the second car. 

As though they can sense each other's presence, the two glance at each other, both relaxing slightly upon seeing the other uninjured. Together, they approach the car blocking the street, the man reaching out a comforting hand for the woman to hold as they take in the sight of the crumpled bonnet and smashed glass, trying not to breathe in the acrid smoke billowing from the hood. 

The pair anxiously peer through the window, hoping to see a sign that their director is still conscious. What they see makes the actress curl into her companion's side, burying her head in his shoulder to stop herself from seeing anything more. Though equally horrified, the actor can't seem to look away, even as the ambulance arrives and they are pushed out of the way. He watches, heart pounding, as two bodies are pulled from the car onto stretchers, wincing at the still forms and the blood on the starch white sheets. Without thinking, he pulls the girl closer into him, breathing her in and thanking every deity he can think of that it wasn't her car that had been hit. She makes no remarks, just clutches at his jacket a little tighter, letting his familiar scent calm her racing heart and thanking God over and over again because it could easily have been him in that car - was supposed to have been him - but it wasn't and he's right there; he's alive. 

At some point, a paramedic comes over to them, guides them to the ambulances and asks them to sit. It isn't until the raised voices penetrate the haze in her brain that the girl realises the paramedic had only asked her to sit and was trying to direct the boy to another ambulance. The boy is protesting, refusing to leave her side and the paramedic is arguing, saying something about checking them over and needing to do it separately. As the meaning behind the words registers, she clings on to the boy, shaking her head and telling him not to leave her, afraid that, if he does, he might just disappear. Seeing her panic, the paramedic finally relents, muttering something about rules and only supposed to let family stay together, but a sharp glare from the man shuts him up. 

The paramedic stalks off and another one comes by instead, apologising for his colleague's behaviour and giving them each a shock blanket. For a while, they sit in silence, neither of them able to do much more than focus on breathing and, in her case at least, not having a panic attack. Their drivers both come by to tell them that they've made the necessary phone calls and given statements to the police about what they saw. They inform them that the police will want to talk to them as well but will wait until they're out of the public eye to do so; even though they aren't at home, people recognise them and a crowd is already beginning to form. The actor nods and thanks them, asking them to wait by the cars until the paramedic allows them to leave, but the actress is still in a state of shock. She stays silent even once they leave, her head spinning from all the information she's trying to process. 

It's not until after the police come by to take their statements, after they're back at the hotel, that the haze finally starts to clear. She barely even realises what she's saying when she speaks to the officers, mumbling something about following the car, seeing the other car coming and the collision before the policewoman takes pity and leaves them be. She snuggles back into the man's side - the man who still hasn't left her and she isn't willing to leave - and the fog starts to clear. 

As her brain starts to clear, everything catches up to her and she begins to shiver slightly as the belated fear sets in. Tears begin to fall - relieved, guilty, distraught - and the tremors become more pronounced until she's shaking violently. 'Alia?' her companion calls her name worriedly but she doesn't respond. 'Alu, it's okay, you're safe.' he assures, thinking it'll calm her down. It doesn't do anything; she just shakes her head, choking on her tears when she tries to speak. 'Calm down. Breathe. Come on, with me. In-out, in-out.' he instructs, giving her a small smile when she begins to breathe again, even though the tears haven't slowed any. 'Ally, stop crying yaar. It's okay.'

'Y-you - I-it could've b-been you.' she says, the tears finally beginning to slow. 

'I - what?' he questions, perplexed. 

'Th-the car. You were going to take that car.' she mutters, the tears starting to speed up again. 

'Oh Alu,' he sighs, a soft smile playing on his lips. 'I'm fine, completely, one hundred percent okay.' 

'B-but you m-might not've been.' she cries. 'You w-were gonna take th-at car. Because we were argu-ing a-and y-you were angry -' 

'Stop right there. None of us knew what would happen okay? And both of us are alright, and Shashank and Raj will be fine too.' he murmurs soothingly. 

'There was so much blood...' 

'I know, but the cuts weren't that deep. The paramedics said it looked much worse than it is. The only thing they're really worried about is the possibility of a concussion.' he informs. At that, she finally calms, relaxing into him for a minute before sitting up ramrod straight. 

'Varun.' she states, not daring to turn and look at him because she's just admitted how much she still cares and she wasn't supposed to do that. 

'Yes?'

'I - shit. I gotta go.' she mutters, looking around, her face growing more panicked as she realises she's in his room. 

'What you need to do is calm down.' he counters, putting a hand on her shoulder. She shrugs it off, shaking her head and trying to get up, only to find her body won't listen. 'Alia, just hold on a second.' She doesn't listen, trying to get up again. This time, her body obeys and she stands. Looking around, she spots her bag and grabs it before freezing, seemingly lost. 'Alu?'

'I-i shouldn't be here. I need to go.' she says, eyes darting towards the door for a moment before going back to him. She reminds him of a scared rabbit but the look isn't cute, it's heartbreaking. 

'Alia,' he says softly, getting up from the bed and approaching her. She looks at him, eyes wide. Gently, he takes the bag from her and sets it back down, taking both of her hands in his. 'You don't need to go, okay.' 

'B-but-'

'But nothing baby girl.' he cuts her off, the old pet name slipping out of it's own accord. 'It wouldn't be a crime for you to stay.' 

'I - my charger a-and pjs and everything-'

'Now you're just making excuses and you know it.' he snaps, immediately feeling horrible for it. 'I'm sorry. If you wanna go, I'm no-one to stop you.' he mumbles, letting go of her hands. She picks her bag back up as soon as her hands are free and he turns his back to her with a sigh, unable to watch her walk away from him again. He hears footsteps and the door opening and closing and throws himself onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow and letting out a frustrated groan. 

***

He lays like that for close to four hours before a knock on the door brings him out of his stupor. Telling himself it's probably just Sahil or Gaurav coming to ask about the accident, he gets up to answer, stopping short when he sees the girl on the other side. 

She is shuffling nervously from foot to foot, looking at the floor. He takes a moment to observe her before speaking, noting the anxiousness and the uncharacteristic self-consciousness. He takes a breath, about to speak, when he notices that he recognises the worn hoodie she has on. The colour is now a faded version of the bright blue it had once been and the logo has disappeared in some places but he would recognise it anywhere - even if it no longer bears the name of his university but the scattered letters that suggested what the words might once have been: Not  ngh    r n   nive  it . 'Why'd'you still have that thing?' he blurts out instead of asking why she is there like he had intended. 

She looks up, face going bright red as she tugs at the bottom of the oversized jumper as though trying to pull it down even further. 'Do you have a problem with it?' she asks, immediately going on the defensive. 

'It's like twelve years old.' he tells her. 

'So what? It's still perfectly wearable.' 

'Come on yaar, you've got plenty of nicer, better-looking, newer hoodies.' he says. She rolls her eyes, letting out an annoyed noise.

'I don't care. This is oversized and well-worn and comfy.' she snaps. 'Now are we gonna stand here arguing or will you let me in?' He steps aside to let her in and follows her as she sits on the bed. 

'No seriously, why are you wearing that thing Alu?' he asks, unable to get past it. 

'Varun, I like it, it's comfortable and baggy.' 

'If it's a matter of it being oversized, you could just buy one a few sizes too big.' he justifies. 

'Oh my God Varun! I just like this hoodie okay.' 

'Like it? You've had it for ten years and you're bloody protective of it. I think you more than like it.' he chuckles. 'Why'd'you like it so much?' 

'You're not gonna drop it, are you?' she questions, receiving a shake of his head in response. 'Fine. I like it so much because it makes me feel safe.' He looks at her quizzically and she explains. 'It's yours. It makes me feel safe.' 

'If it's just cause it's my hoodie, you could just steal another one.' he suggests. 

'Wouldn't be the same.' she refuses with a slight shake of her head. 

'Why not?' 

'D'you remember when you gave it to me?' she asks by way of answer. 

'Yeah. In Kashmir.' he answers, grinning at the memory. 

'Not just in Kashmir. I was freezing my ass off because my clothes were ridiculous and some idiots decided to pull me into the middle of one of their snow fights.' They both roll their eyes at that, giggling a little when they realise they did it together. 'And I was sat there in front of the fire with a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate and I was still cold. And nobody was paying me any attention until you came in from the kitchen and saw me shivering on the sofa-'

'And I yelled at them for not noticing, came over to you, took the hot chocolate from your hands, pulled my hoodie off and put it over your head.' he finishes, both of them smiling at the memory. 

'Now d'you get it?' she asks, looking at him for a second before turning her gaze to her hands. 

'Kind of?' he half-questions, sounding unsure. 

'A fire, a blanket and a hot chocolate couldn't warm me up but your hoodie did.' she explains, never looking up from her fingers. 

'Oh. I guess it's a pretty special hoodie then huh?' he mumbles. 

'You could say that.' she laughs, pulling a grin from him before they both lapse into silence. 

'Listen, about earlier-' he begins, cutting himself off because she's begun to speak too. 

'I'm sorry I-' she cuts off too. They look at each other for a second before they both burst out laughing. 

It takes a while for them to calm down and when they finally do, they're out of breath with tears streaming down their faces from laughing so hard. She leans her head on his shoulder as they catch their breath, both of them revelling in the companionable silence. 

'I'm sorry.' she whispers after a while, fixing her gaze on the wall opposite her. 

'What for?' he asks, just as quietly. 

'The way I ran out of here earlier.' 

'You don't need to apologise Alu-' 

'No, I do. I don't even know why I left or why I freaked out for that matter. It was stupid and I shouldn't have left like that. I know it probably didn't feel so great and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you.' she apologises, still staring at the wall. 

'Alu, I get it. You didn't have a clue what was going on, half in a daze and you snapped out of it to find yourself with me.' She gives him a look to reprimand him for the way he says with me - like it's one of the worst situations he could imagine, but he ignores it and continues. 'You panicked and I didn't exactly help matters by snapping at you like that. And I honestly didn't mean to, I was just... I was a little worried about you being by yourself and I guess I didn't want to be alone. I know it's no excuse but I am really sorry Alu.' She doesn't speak, stays silent while she thinks on what he said before shaking her head. 

'It wasn't that. I didn't panic because I was with you. I already knew I was with you. It was more like I was scared of what it all meant, you know. Everything I was saying and thinking and feeling, it scared me.' she explains, finally tearing her gaze from the wall and looking at him. 'I can't believe I'm saying this but I think I was scared of being alone with you.' He looks hurt and she realises he's misunderstood. 'Not because of you!' she adds quickly. 'I was scared because of me. I didn't know what I'd do.' she admits. 

'You thought... you thought something might happen?' he questions slowly, unsure of how he feels about that. 

'I thought that I might... slip back into old habits. We've been doing that a lot recently and with everything going on and how I was feeling, it wouldn't have surprised me really.' she answers, speaking carefully. 

'And now?' he asks, watching as she thinks. She knows what he's trying to ask And now, are you still scared? 

'Now, I don't know. I probably shouldn't be here right now but I couldn't sit in my room alone anymore and I just - I don't know. I just, I wanted to feel... safe and I always feel safest with you.' she says eventually. 'Guess I slipped back into my old habits after all.' 

'Those old habits are pretty dangerous.' he murmurs, trying not to think of the ones she's really talking about. 

'I don't really think I care right now.' she counters, her actions contradicting her words as she looks away from him, her posture changing ever so slightly, becoming just a little less relaxed. 

'If you don't care, why are you tense all of a sudden?' 

'Because, we both know exactly what you're trying not to think about and maybe it's working for you but it's not working for me.' she confesses. 

'D'you uh, d'you want me to maybe go sit somewhere else?' he offers awkwardly. 

'No!' she refuses immediately, realising she'd been a little over enthusiastic in her refusal a second later. 'No, that would just be awkward and I don't want things to be awkward.' 

'But, right now, you're uncomfortable with this,' he says, gesturing between them, 'and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.' 

'You're not. You couldn't make me uncomfortable if you tried. I'm making me uncomfortable.' 

'Then relax yaar. Just forget about everything else and chill.' he advises. Seeing she's skeptical, he continues. 'Look, I'll put a movie in and go get us some snacks and we can just pretend everything's normal for a bit.' She thinks it over for a moment and nods; a smile graces his face and she finds she can't keep the answering smile off of her own face.  'Alright. I'll be back in a minute.' he tells her, getting up and half running to the door. 

She laughs at his enthusiasm as he opens the door, laughter increasing when he reappears in the doorway seconds later, looking almost sheepish as he tells her to choose a movie while he's gone. 

***

As he's walking back down the corridor from the lifts, arms full of snacks , he runs into two of their other co-stars. 'Varun, finally!' Sahil exclaims, earning himself a puzzled look. 

'About time you got back. You were only supposed to be gone a couple hours.' Gaurav says. 

'What're you talking about? We've been back for over five hours.' he tells them, confusion growing by the second. 

'Why didn't anyone let us know?' the taller of the two asks. 

'Sorry. It completely slipped my mind. I've been a bit busy with Alia.' he apologises, not realising how the words sound.

'Okay, didn't really wanna know. But why didn't Shashank come find us? Usually he does...' Sahil questions, his confusion growing as he sees Varun's face drop. 

'Nobody told you?' the Dilwale actor asks, ignoring the first statement. 

'Told us what?' the two ask together. 

'There was an accident. A car slammed into the front of Shashank's car. He's at the hospital.' Varun explains, keeping the details minimal to stop himself from thinking about it. 

'Hospital? What?' Sahil questions, more than a little panicked. 

'He, uh, he was knocked out with the collision. The paramedics said he might have a concussion but won't be able to really tell much until he wakes up. They said that, judging from the damage to the car and his visible injuries, he didn't hit his head too hard so they're hoping he'll be awake by tomorrow at the latest.' 

'Why didn't anyone tell us?' Gaurav questions, starting to get a little angry. 

'I'm sorry guys. I thought you would've been told already and Alia was completely out of it when we got back. And then I got in a fight with her and I just completely forgot.' he justifies. 

'For someone who got in a fight with his girlfriend, you look pretty cheerful.' Sahil remarks; coming from almost anyone else, it would have sounded accusatory but with Sahil, it was simply him noting what he saw. 

'How many times guys? She's not my girlfriend anymore.' he grumbles. 'And we managed to sort it.' 

'Itni jaldi? Usually your fights last a while.' Gaurav comments

'It wasn't a real fight. We were both just running high on emotions and got into it. But we're good now.' They both give him looks of disbelief and he sighs. 'If you guys don't believe me, you can come watch a movie with us.' The two men exchange a look before nodding their agreement and the there make their way back to Varun's room together. 

***

The first thing the Judwaa actor notices when he walks into his room is that Alia has decided to make herself comfortable in the time he's been gone. She's changed out of the hoodie - given that the radiator's on, he's not surprised - and stolen one of his t-shirts instead. He has no problem with that, except for the fact that she's opted to shed her joggers and is sitting on the bed in just his shirt. 

She looks up from her phone when he walks in, smiling at him until she sees that he's looking at her oddly. 'What is it?' she asks, smile fading. 

'Nothing.' he mutters, clearing his throat as he tries to get his mind out of his memories. 'You might want to put your joggers back on. Sahil and Gaurav are gonna watch with us.' he advises, suddenly feeling thankful that the two had stopped at their rooms for their phones on the way. 

'Toh? This shirt's long enough.' She gestures to the item of clothing and the point where it ends. He tries not to look, he really does, but his eyes follow her hand and then continue to travel down her legs, his mind going to places it shouldn't. Snap out of it Dhawan. She's not yours anymore he mentally scolds himself. But he can't tear his gaze from her, not even when he sees the almost smug look on her face and realises she knows what he's thinking. 'See something you like?' she asks teasingly, apparently no longer afraid of those old habits, seemingly wanting to embrace them. Well, if she wants to... he thinks, imagining for a second what it would be like before snapping out of it. She has a boyfriend. 

'I don't see how it would matter if I do.' he answers, finally looking away from her. He can feel her curious eyes on him but doesn't look back to her as he walks to the bed and deposits the snacks there, rummaging through them until he finds her favourite and tossing it to her. She catches it easily, obviously without looking because her gaze is still on him, unwavering as she waits for him to explain his words. 'I shouldn't have to explain Alu.' he mumbles, pretending to read the back of one of the packets of sweets. She grows more confused for a second before it clicks and she looks down, ashamed of her behaviour. 

'I'm sorry. Like I said earlier, old habits.' 

'I know. But can you at least try to not... you know.' He gestures vaguely at her to indicate his meaning. 'I'm always having to remind myself to behave with you as it is and you acting like this, it makes things kind of hard.' She snorts at his choice of words and he goes red as he realises the accidental double entendre. 'Not how I meant it Bhatt, but that's also true.' She stops laughing and raises an eyebrow at him, getting a shrug in return. 'Just stating a fact.' 

An old tension seeps into the room with his words and they both know that they're skating on thin ice. One wrong move or word and the ice will break, sending them both into the freezing water where they'll cling to each other for warmth. Neither of them should be thinking of what to say to break the ice, praying for the other to make that one move, but they both are. 

The door opens and the spell breaks. He has never been so grateful to see their two co-actors; she has never been more disappointed. 

***

The tension between the two lead actors disappears as soon as the two others enter the room and they settle in to watch the movie, cuddly as always. 

The first movie is Alia's choice, Bride and Prejudice, a movie she's seen a thousand times but Sahil and Gaurav haven't ever watched. The pair that have already seen it spend the two and a half hours quoting along to the film, singing the songs and watching the reactions of the other two. Who the film ends, the three boys argue over who gets to pick the next one for five minutes before they realise Alia's already hit play on Varun's choice. She gets a pout, an eye roll and a grin as the opening sequence of Andaz Apna Apna plays but there're no complaints because they all love this film, whether they'll admit it or not. 

By the time it's over, the clock's struck twelve but none of them are even close to tired. Sahil steals the remote and quickly plays Baghban before anyone can protest. The other three groan, knowing that they all get too emotional in this film. 

Sure enough, at the end of the film, there's not a dry eye in the room. 'Okay, my turn.' Gaurav declares, receiving no protests as he scrolls through to the comedy section. 

'Yaar, I swear to God, you better not hit play.' Varun threatens as he pauses on Dishoom. 

'Awww, why not VD?' Alia jokes. 

'Yeah VD, why not?' the shorter of the boys parrots, smirking until Varun reaches out to slap him on the arm. 'Joke tha ji.' 

'It's not funny. We aren't watching Dishoom, or any of my movies for that matter. Pick something else.' he instructs. Alia pouts and he rolls his eyes. 'No. Not even for you.' The other two boys laugh until she narrows her eyes at them and Gaurav hurriedly gets back to choosing a movie. He scrolls along until he finds one they'll all agree on, eventually deciding on Partner, grabbing another bag of sweets from the pile as it begins to play. 

By the time the credits roll, all four are asleep, Sahil half-sitting, half-laying on the floor, Gaurav sprawled out on the sofa and Varun and Alia curled together on the bed. 

***

In the morning, they're woken by a knock on the door. Given that he stirs the fastest, Varun goes to answer, slightly surprised to see Shashank's wife in front of him. 'Nalini, hi.' he says, wiping sleep from his eyes. 

'Did you just wake up?' she asks, momentarily distracted. 

'Uh, yeah. Why?'

'It's almost twelve.' she states, unable to fathom how the early bird could've slept so late. 

'Shit! How did I sleep through my alarms?' he wonders out loud, agitatedly running a hand through his hair. 

Before the woman in front of him can say anything more, a voice comes from behind him. 'Varun, who's'it?' Alia questions, words slurring slightly from sleep. She gets the answer herself a second later when she walks up next to him in the doorway. 'Oh, Nalini, hey.' she greets, smiling a little as sleep has wiped her memories of the previous day for the moment. Their director's wife looks between them, her reasoning for being there temporarily forgotten as she takes in their appearances, smirking slightly as she raises her eyebrows. 

'Alia, wasn't expecting to see you here.' she comments, holding back a laugh as the meaning sinks in and she watches them redden. 

'Why is that always everyone's first assumption?' Alia questions, none-too-quietly. 

Her question is met by laughter from the two actors who've just woken, drawing the visitor's attention towards them. 'Maybe because you two still haven't learned how to keep you hands off of each other.' Gaurav answers. Varun turns and sticks his tongue out at him while Alia rolls her eyes at his immaturity. For a moment, the ensemble forget the reason behind them having their spur of the moment movie night, the jokes and laughter taking their minds off of things. 

The moment of blissful ignorance is broken when Nalini's phone rings. She checks the caller ID to see that it's a private number - the hospital. They all sober as she answers, watching the conversation with curious eyes. 

It's barely a two minute conversation but the mood has completely changed when the call is ended. 'That was the hospital.' she tells them unnecessarily. 'Shashank's awake again. You guys can come see him.' 

'Is he okay?' Varun asks, his guilt for forgetting audible in his voice. 

'For the most part. He's got some stitches and a concussion but he should be back on set within a week.' she informs them, giving Varun a small reassuring smile to tell him it's okay. 'I'm gonna head back in about half an hour if you guys wanna come.' 

Varun looks back at Sahil and Gaurav to see if they're coming, receiving two nods of agreement. 'Yeah. We'll meet you in the lobby.' he says. She nods and leaves, Sahil and Gaurav following, going to their rooms to get changed. 

It doesn't surprise him the Alia turns and makes her way back into his room. 'You gonna get dressed?' he asks, pulling his own clothes from his suitcase. 

'Yeah. I should probably go do that.' she murmurs, turning her phone in her hands. 

'Want me to grab your jeans and you can jack another t-shirt?' he offers. 

'You don't have to.' she refuses weakly, still not making a move to get up. 

'You don't really look like you're planning to go.' he chuckles. 

She looks up, almost like she's snapping out of a daze. Slowly, she stands, looking at him like she's unsure of what to do. 'I, uh, it's stupid but I just feel so guilty. I mean, all this time, I've hardly even thought about Shashank. I just kept thinking about what might've happened.' she whispers. 

'Alu, it's okay. Everything's okay.' he murmurs, pulling her into a hug. She wraps her arms around him, letting herself be held for a moment before she pulls out of the hug. 

'I'm gonna go get dressed. I'll meet you downstairs.' He nods, dropping a kiss to her forehead before letting her go completely. 

***

The ride to the hospital is quiet but not silent. They converse in low tones, mostly about things they don't really care about. 

Before they're entirely ready, the car pulls up at the hospital, the five of them piling out of it before it drives off. The actors follow Nalini into the hospital and through the corridors to their director's room. A nurse exits as they get there, holding the door open to let them in before leaving with a smile. 

Shashank looks up as they walk in, grinning brightly. His wife greets him with a kiss as the rest find a place to sit or stand. There is silence for a moment, everybody unsure of what should be said, until Shashank speaks. 'So, did you lot come here to sit here and stare at me?' 

'Well, no.' Sahil shakes his head. 'But I'm not sure what we could talk about.' 

'How about somebody fills me in about this film we're making?' the director suggests. The others exchange almost horrified looks. 

'You don't remember?' Varun asks. 

'No. Side effect of the concussion.' Shashank answers, looking utterly unperturbed by the situation. 

'What do you remember?' Nalini questions. 

'The doctors already did this test.' he sighs. 

'Just humour me.' 

'It's April 2020. We're in Paris and apparently filming the third Dulhunia movie. I know we made the second one but I don't remember making it.' he says, rolling his eyes at the looks on their faces. 'Guys, chill. The doctor said things like this happen all the time and I'm adjusting better than most people do.' 

'What's that supposed to mean?' Alia queries. 

'Well, I didn't freak out when I was told it's 2020, not 2014.' he states. 

'2014?' Gaurav asks, all of them slightly panicky now because a lot of things have changed since then. 

'Yeah. Woke up thinking it was the day after I passed out and hit my head in Chandigarh.' From their spots on opposite sides of the room, Alia and Varun exchange a look, both of them thinking the same thing: this means trouble. They had all been different people six years ago but by far the biggest difference was the relationship of the lead pair. Back when they were shooting the first film in the franchise, the two had been together and very serious about each other. Their families - including their film family - had often joked about the two getting married, but it hadn't only been a joke. Few people knew that a wedding had indeed been on the cards until, suddenly and without any explanation, they had split, apparently by mutual agreement and they both insisted they were fine; the longing and pining said otherwise. Unfortunately for the two, Shashank is among the few who know the true extent of their relationship and if he doesn't remember anything past 2014, he likely thinks they're still together, possibly even married by now. 

Nalini catches the worried looks of the two actors and gets up from her seat beside the bed, excusing herself and silently gesturing to them both to follow her out. Quickly and quietly the exit the room, going unnoticed by Shashank. Once outside, the director's wife turns to the two actors, not waiting even a moment before speaking. 'What's with the looks?' she asks. 'And don't bother to act oblivious.' she adds quickly, knowing they have a penchant for doing so. 

'Nalini, do you remember what the two of us were like in 2014?' Varun questions, gesturing between himself and Alia. 

'Not all that different.' the woman shrugs. 

'Maybe not to you, but Shashank knows everything about our relationship. To him, we're very different.' the actor counters. 

'Explain.' 

The two glance at each other, both hesitant to tell the truth. 'You know we were together back then right?' Alia begins. Nalini nods, looking completely perplexed; of course she knows that. 'We were pretty serious too.' 

'I remember. We all used to tease you about when you would get married.' the other woman says with another nod and a slight smile at the memories. 

'You used to tease us, yeah, but you guys had no idea how close it was to actually happening.' Varun tells her. Her mouth drops open from shock. 

'Seriously?' 

'You think we'd joke about something like this?' the Highway actress asks, getting a silent no in response. 'We were talking about getting married, we'd even talked to our parents about it.' 

'But then, what happened?' 

Varun shrugs, he's still not sure of the reason. 'It was just some personal issues.' Alia mutters, still not wanting to tell anyone the true reason: she'd been scared of how serious they were so she'd run away. 'But that's beside the point. The point is that Shashank was one of the few people who knew about it. And if he doesn't remember anything past 2014, he won't remember that we're not together anymore.' 

'Okay,  so we'll just have to explain the truth to him.' 

'He's not going to believe us. It took us months to get him to believe us in the first place.' Varun replies, shaking his head. 

'Besides, we can't just go telling him stuff that contradicts what he thinks he knows. We'd have to talk to the doctors and see what they say.' Alia puts in. 

'Then we'll just have to go speak to the doctors, won't we?' Nalini counters, setting off in the direction of the nurses station. The two she leaves behind have a brief silent exchange before following, only to find that Nalini had already found a doctor in the two minutes it had taken them to find her. They joined her, not saying anything, just standing and listening to what the doctor was saying. 

'He's adjusting fairly well. He's accepted that the year isn't what he thought and he's acknowledged that he's directing his third film as opposed to the first but where personal information and relations are concerned, I would advise you not to give him any major news. Let him get back on set and back into routine before you tell him anything. Once he's adjusted, his memories will start to come back.' 

'Alright. Thanks doctor.' Nalini says. He nods and goes on his way. The two actors look to the third person in their company, all of their faces holding the same expression: things are about to get interesting. 

***

The rest of the time they spend at the hospital, the try to act as normally as possible. The director doesn't notice that there's anything out of the ordinary so they call it a success. 

Once they get back to the hotel, Alia disappears into her room, saying nothing more than she has a phone call to make. Apart from Varun, nobody thinks anything of it, but the thirty-three year old is agitated because he knows what phone call she's making. He spends an hour hanging out with the crew but, as time wears on, he gets more and more irritable, wondering why it's taking so long. Making up and excuse about wanting some space to think, he retreats to his room, pacing incessantly until there's a knock on the door. He almost trips over himself going to open it, relief flooding through him as he sees Alia on the other side. He evaluates her expression as he steps aside to let her in. She looks tired but mostly okay. 'You alright?' he asks anyway as they take a seat on the bed. 

'Yeah. I'm fine. Just, that was an exhausting conversation.' she sighs. 

'How'd it go?' 

'Well, I don't think he's gonna talk to me for a while but it's all sorted.' she says, laying back on the bed. He lays down next to her, both of them staring at the ceiling. 

'How's it sorted if he's not talking to you?' 

'Because we've agreed to take a break - kind of - and I'll make him understand eventually. And, quite frankly, Shashank's health is more important than him sulking.' she states, making him laugh. 

'So, what do we do now?' he asks, knowing the answer before he speaks but feeling the need to ask all the same. 

'We have to pretend we're still together, come up with some kind of explanation as to why we're not thinking about getting married anymore and hope it's convincing enough.' she lists, trying not to think about what it'll entail. 

'Pretend we're still together; that's going to be.... challenging to say the least.' he mumbles, turning on his side to face her. She turns her head to look at him, slightly surprised at how comfortable she is with the fact that his face is barely two inches away from hers. She doesn't shrink away like she had expected herself to, doesn't move at all. 'Why? Everyone says we still act that way anyway.' 

'They can all say that Alu, but we both know it's not true. We hold back, make sure we behave ourselves. And the way we talk to each other has changed, not enough for most people to notice but it has changed.' he refutes. 

'I was kind of hoping you hadn't noticed.' she admits sheepishly. 

'Really? You thought I wouldn't realise?' he questions incredulously. 

'Well, no. But I'd hoped...' 

'Why? What difference would it make to you?' he queries, suddenly scared of what she might say. 

'None really.' she lies with a shrug. 

'You're such a bad liar Alia.' he informs, reaching out to poke her nose. She giggles, squirming away from him but settling down when he wraps his arm around her waist. 'Now try again.' 

'It would've made me feel like a little bit less of a terrible person.' she confesses, surprising them both when she doesn't look away from him. 

'You're not a terrible person. You're one of the kindest, most caring people I know. Just because we didn't last, doesn't make a difference. Sometimes, feelings change, they fade, there's nothing we can do about that.' She shakes her head and he knows, without knowing how he knows, that there's something she's not told him, the reasoning she'd given him of falling out of love hadn't been the truth. He waits for her to say something but doesn't push the matter when she stays silent. 'Alia, you're a great friend, you know that right?' She sighs, rolling her eyes so he persists. 'No really, I mean it. Just look at what you're doing right now. You're willing to put your relationship on pause and pretend like you're still, well I mean, like you still have feelings for me,' he fakes a shudder at the thought, frowning when it fails to get a laugh or even a smile from her. Softening his voice, he continues, 'all for the sake of one of your friends. You're a damn good  friend.' She's not looking at him anymore but he knows his words haven't worked. He sighs, trying to figure out what to say next when she mumbles something. 'What?' 

'I said, you may as well say it. We've got to get this act right, we may as well start now.' she repeats, speaking loud enough for him to hear her this time. 

'Say what?' he asks, confused. 

'What you were debating ending that sentence with.' she mumbles, having sensed the term of endearment he had been on the verge of using: meri jaan, words she hasn't had directed at her in years. 

'We have to pretend we're together Alu, doesn't mean we need to use words like that. There's no need to make things odd or uncomfortable.' he says quietly.

'You said it yourself Varun, the way we talk to each other has changed; that's mainly because we stopped using the pet names and endearments. If we wanna make them convincing, those words need to make their way back into our vocabularies.' she argues. 

'I don't want to make things uncomfortable.' he repeats. 

'It comes out naturally for you, even now. You have to refrain. That doesn't seem like something that'll make you uncomfortable.' she reasons. 

'I'm not talking about me.' he murmurs. She finally lifts her head to meet his eyes again at the words, everything seeming to hurt as the realisation that he thinks she wouldn't be okay with it when all she's wanted since she'd realised how much of a cowardly mistake running away had been is to hear those words from him again. 

'Don't worry about me. Like I told you yesterday, you couldn't make me uncomfortable if you tried.' she tells him, half-wishing she could make herself tell him the truth. 

'Are you sure?' She nods in confirmation and he just barely holds back a sigh; he's not sure his heart'll recover from this. 'Okay, but if I do or say anything you're not okay with, let me know.' 

'I will.' she promises. 

'So, now we just need to figure out how we explain the whole not getting married thing.' 

'We're gonna have to come up with one hell of a story.' she mutters, already dreading it. 

'Let's get started then.'

***

Within three days, Shashank is out of hospital and they are back on set. The schedule has been extended, both to account for lost time and because the doctors instructed Shashank not to work too hard, which means shorter days. The agreements they have for locations have to be re-arranged but, thankfully, Karan deals with that, makes the phone calls and does all the talking, and the people are understanding of the situation, relieving the director of most of his stress. 

While the ship's captain is relaxed, the crew are far from it. Though it's only the lead pair that have anything to worry about, the rest of the crew are dealing with second hand stress, everyone constantly worrying that somebody will slip up, always fretting over what might happen if somebody does. 

After a week, things begin to settle down, the anxiety fading as it becomes clear that Varun and Alia know what they're doing. To everyone except the pair themselves, it seems as though they're putting on a spectacular performance, one that could convince anybody that they're in love. Though they refuse to admit it - to themselves or one another - both the actors know that it isn't just pretend. Acting is what they do for a living, have been doing for going on ten years, and they know what it feels like to fake feelings, be it a character's or their own. The emotions the two are experiencing are not a result of playing the part but real feelings, feelings that never went away but have been ignored for years. 

They forget that it is just an act, no matter how many times they remind themselves, they continue to forget. It is so easy for the both of them to let the emotions take over, allow their hearts to rule and neither can be bothered to fight it. So they don't. They let their hearts have their way, give in to their feelings. Just for a little while, she tells herself as she opens her heart up to him again. There's no harm in it, just while we're pretending anyway he thinks as he lets himself fall even deeper in love with her. They both know it's a bad idea but they can't find it in them to cate. In her own mind, she allows herself to acknowledge her feelings for him, remembers dreams and fantasies she'd tried to forget. When he's alone, he starts to think those forbidden thoughts of a life and a future. 

But they lie to each other, both of them absolutely terrified of the truth. They ignore it, pay no attention to the facts that are staring them in the face, and continue to say it's for the sake of their director and friend. Even when they start to go out on dates, they put it down to not wanting to make the man suspicious; when she allows him to kiss her, they write it off as just trying to behave the way they used to; when she begins to spend the night in his room, they blame it on falling back into old habits. No matter how obviously the truth presents itself, parading in front of them like a peacock, they refuse to acknowledge it - out loud at least. 

***

Three more weeks pass by in a blur and soon, it's been a month since the accident. Things between the two Student of the Year actors have progressively become less and less of an act and more obviously something real. It gets to the point where everyone begins to notice and Sahil brings it up one day when he finds himself alone with Varun. 'So, you and Alia?' he asks, distracting the Dilwale actor from the video game they're playing. 

'What about me and Alia?' the man questions as he pauses the game, tone slightly defensive. 

'You two do remember that the relationship is just supposed to be an act right?' the older of the two reminds, receiving a long-suffering sigh and an eye roll. 'Don't act all exasperated with me Dhawan. We both know how these things play out.' The statement is met with another eye roll. 'Yaar, I'm just trying to look out for you.' 

'And I appreciate it. But I can look after myself thanks.' he grumbles. 

'Not where your hearts concerned. Or where Alia's concerned for that matter.' 

'You say that like there's a difference between the two.' he mutters, hoping the other man won't hear. From the look he receives, he knows the hope had been in vain. 'Look, I know you're concerned, but I learned how to deal with these things a long time ago. Thanks for looking out for me but I'm fine.' 

'You might know how to deal but it's not just you I'm worried about. What about Alia?' The younger man freezes at the name of his best friend. 

'What about her?' he asks through gritted teeth. 

'Don't act like you haven't noticed it Varun. If I can see it, you sure as hell can. She's still in love with you.' the Bank Chor actor states, already sensing an argument on the horizon. 

'You're talking shit Sahil. She's playing the part for Shashank's sake and, evidently, she's doing a damn good job if she's got you believing it too.' 

'For the love of all things Holy, open your eyes!' Sahil exclaims. 

'Has Varun been sleepwalking again?' Gaurav asks jokingly as he walks into the room and hears his friend's outburst. 

'No. Somebody here is convinced that Alia still cares for me.' Varun informs him, rolling his eyes. 

'You know, I get the feeling you're expecting me to take your side in this but I agree with Sahil.' Gaurav deadpans. Varun groans, flopping back into the sofa cushions. 'Varun, it's obvious. Just because you insist on remaining oblivious, doesn't mean the rest of us are blind.' 

'Or you're all delusional.' he dismisses. 

'If you won't listen to us for your own sake, listen for Alia's. You don't want her to end up getting hurt do you?' Sahil asks, purposely playing on Varun's biggest weakness and pulling the Alia card. 

'Don't you dare Vaid.' the young Dhawan snaps. 'Don't you fucking dare. You know full well that I don't want her getting hurt. And she's not going to get hurt. Because, she. does. not. give. a. shit. about. me.'

'Varun, that's going a bit far. She does care for you. Even if you won't believe she still loves you, you know she still cares for you as a friend.' Gaurav says, watching the anger drain before Sahil speaks again. 

'Oh he knows, but he doesn't care. Why should he? Evidently he doesn't care for her. If he did, he'd be willing to listen to what we're saying.' Sahil taunts, attempting to use reverse psychology. 

'Sahil, I wouldn't-' Gaurav tries to warn. 

'Why not? I'm just telling the truth. He obviously doesn't care about her nearly as much as he claims to.' the man continues, watching as his friend and co-star silently seethes. 'Because if he did, he'd at least think about what we're trying to tell him.' And that's when the thirty-three year old reaches his breaking point. 

'Shut up!' he yells. 'Just shut up! You don't know shit about us or what I feel for her. You have absolutely no right, no fucking right, to be making assumptions.' 

'I'm not making assumptions Varun. What I'm saying is that you two need to think about what's going on between you, talk about it. Otherwise at least one of you is gonna end up getting hurt and you may know how to handle things like this but God knows Alia sure as hell doesn't.' Sahil tells him, surprisingly calm in the face of the Badlapur star's rage. 

As the words pierce through the anger, Varun begins to calm, realising that he has a point. Unable to find the words to say, he nods to his friend, hoping it'll convey everything he wants to say. He receives a nod in return, letting him know that the message has been received and then they set about hooking up a third connector to their game console so Gaurav can join in on their game. 

***

While the boys are playing video games, Alia is in her room, face-timing with her sister. As she had known it would, the conversation ends up circling around till they get to Varun, as it always inevitably does when she's working with him - no matter how many times they speak. This time though, it doesn't take the usual route through filming and working with Shashank again and how it feels to be back with the Dulhunia crew - which they seem to talk about a lot even though it's been two months since they started filming again; it takes a rather unusual path that starts with the mention of her boyfriend - or kind of boyfriend, she's not sure where they stand given that he's not talking to her since they agreed to go on a break. 'So, what's up with you and Sid?' Shaheen asks. 

'Sid?' Alia repeats, perplexed. She's almost forgotten about him in all the drama. 

'Yeah.' 

'Nothing. Why?' she questions, hoping and praying she won't have to explain. 

'He called the other day to ask if I'd heard from you or know when you're coming back. Said something about an accident and memory loss and being on a break.' 

'Oh for God's sake.' the actress groans. 'I can't believe he went and told you! Why'd he have to drag you into it?' 

'Into what?' her sister asks. 

'Our personal problems.' Alia says, not entirely willing to share more, even with her sister. 

'You're gonna have to give me more than that.' the older girl states, almost a command. With a sigh, the twenty-seven year old begins to explain. 

When she's done, her sister blinks at her twice. 'So, you and Varun...?' she questions, letting Alia fill in the blank. 

'No! No, just no. Me and him are just acting, just for Shashank.' she denies immediately, a little too quickly and vehemently to really mean the words. 

'Right. So, no feelings at all?' When her little sister doesn't answer, Shaheen knows that she's right in what she's thinking. 'Wanna tell me?' 

'I still love him Shaheen. I never stopped loving him. But all these years I've been ignoring it because it's my fault we split, I ran away and I had no right to go back to him. I wanted him to move on so I pretended I had but I haven't and I'm never going to and I've always known that. I could ignore it before but now... I mean, even before tis act, it was getting hard to pretend like I didn't feel anything but now it's just impossible and I know him well enough to know he feels it too. But I can't say that to him, I can't do that to him. But if I don't, I don't know what else to do either. None of this is pretend but it's gonna have to end when Shashank gets his memories back and I don't know if I can deal with that.' she confesses, words spilling out all at once. 

'You need to talk to him.' the writer instructs. 

'And say what?' 

'I don't know. But you can't just not tell him.' The actress groans and her sister gives her a somewhat sympathetic look but they both know she's right.

***

As the two make their way up to their floor after dinner that night, they are both silent, lost in thought. As they draw level with her door, Alia speaks. 'Uh VD, I think I'm gonna stay in my own room tonight.' she tells him, somewhat hesitantly. 

'Oh, okay. Everything okay?' he asks, concern shining in his eyes. 

'Yeah, there's just some stuff I need to think about.' she explains. He nods his understanding and they both stand outside the door to her room for a minute, unsure what they're supposed to say or do in such a situation. To try and dispel some of the awkwardness, the actress takes out her room key, turning it between her fingers. Taking her actions to mean she wants him to go, he shuffles his feet awkwardly. 'Well uh, I guess I'll see you in the morning then.' he mumbles. 

'Yeah.' she nods, equally as awkward. They stay outside the door for a second longer before she opens it and half-enters, hovering in the doorway to say good night. 'Night VD.' 

'Night Alu.' he returns. She smiles almost shyly before going inside and shutting the door. 

He lingers for a moment longer before he turns to go to his own room, thinking of how lonely the room will feel. As soon as he turns his back to the door, he hears the unmistakable sound of it opening again. He turns in confusion and Alia steps out of the room towards him, holding the door open with her foot. Taking a breath like she's steeling herself, she flips the latch so it'll catch the door and darts forward, putting a hand on one cheek as she pushes herself on her tiptoes and kisses the other. She gives him a quick grin and runs back into her room before he even has the chance to realise what's going on, leaving him to process and make his way back to his room with a dazed smile plastered on his face. 

***

Neither of them get much sleep that night, both of them finding their beds too big and cold and uncomfortably empty without the other. They stay awake, tossing and turning as they think of one another, wondering if the other is feeling as restless. Of course, while sleep evades them, the thoughts of the conversations they'd had earlier plague them. 

Should I tell him? she wonders as she scrolls through her social media feeds, not paying attention to a single post. What if I've read him wrong? What if he's just that good of an actor that he's even fooled me? she frets. No, I know him better than that, she quickly dismisses the thought, but still, he might not listen. He might freak or he might ignore me. What if he ignores me? Is it worth it? If I tell him and he decides he doesn't want to know me anymore, is it worth it? she panics, imagining for a moment what a life completely void of him would be like before clearing her head. No, he's not like that. And he deserves to know. Besides, I can't hide from him for very long. I've already been hiding for so long. I won't be able to keep it up much longer. She sighs, knowing she'll have to give in and absolutely dreading the conversation. 

In the room two doors down, Varun's thoughts are just as hectic. I need to talk to her, he tells himself, twirling one of the hotel pens between his fingers, but what if she doesn't feel the same? What if I was right? What if it's just a good act? Will I be able to deal with that? he wonders. It doesn't matter, I have to speak to her, I need to know. I can't spend the rest of my life wondering. He groans, the thoughts beginning to make his head hurt. I just have to man up and talk to her. It's not that hard, it's just Alia, he tells himself sternly. Yeah, just Alia. Just the one person I can't live without. With another groan, he tells himself to shut up and turns onto his back, staring at the ceiling in the hope that it might help clear his mind and allow him to get some rest. 

***

When morning rolls around, Varun can't seem to find the energy to drag himself out of bed. Though he wants to go and see Alia - more just to see her than because of the conversation they need to have - he just can't seem to make his body work. It takes him almost half an hour to fully sit himself up and another five minutes to drag himself to the bathroom. 

When he gets out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, he feels slightly more awake, the shower having freshened him a bit. The thought of a cup of coffee motivates him to leave his room and head downstairs, dragging his feet as he makes his way to the elevator bank. 

As he walks into the small dining room reserved for the film are, his senses come sharply into focus, his body receiving a much better jolt than coffee could ever give him as he sees Alia standing by their usual table, the thought of caffeine driven from his mind as he hears her laugh. 

He smiles as he walks up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, humming contently as she leans back into him. 'Morning beautiful.' he greets, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she tilts her head slightly to look at him. 

'Hiya handsome.' she returns, leaning up in an attempt to return the kiss but, unable to reach his cheek, ends up brushing her lips against his jawline. The slight stubble tickles slightly and she chuckles, lips still pressed to his skin, making him groan quietly, his arms wrapping around her a little tighter for a moment as his eyes close briefly.

'Oh come on guys, some of us are trying to eat here.' complains Ajay, one of the supporting actors that has just joined them. Varun's eyes snap open to glare at him as Alia's head whips round in his direction. Unfortunately, he seems to be pretty much unaffected. 'What? I get you're all loved up but you could tone it down. You're gonna make me puke into my cereal.' His statement is met by twin noises of complaint from Gaurav and Sahil. 

'Yaar, don't say things like that around these two.' Gaurav advises. 

'Why not?' he asks, almost challengingly. 

'Because, last time someone made the mistake of saying something like that, they almost actually made him puke into his cereal.' Raj, one of the ADs, chuckles, making most of the old crew laugh while the new members look perplexed and Sahil blanches. 

'Didn't need to be reminded of that thanks.' the almost thirty-four year old mutters. 

'Come off it.' Jeet, one of the new ADs, scoffs. 

'What'd'you say Alu, wanna prove the point?' Varun questions, only half joking. 

'Let them eat breakfast in peace.' she refuses, rolling her eyes as his face falls into a fake pout. 'Besides, you lot don't need to worry about stuff like that anymore.' she assures. 'After all, this isn't real anymore. It's all just an act right?' She phrases the last sentence as a question directed to Varun but he takes it as a statement of fact, his face falling and his arms loosening considerably, though they don't drop completely. 

'You're lucky Shashank isn't here right now.' he mutters. 

She forces the smile to stay on her face at his answer, taking his words to be confirmation. 'Well, I think I'm going to get some food.' she declares, ignoring the looks exchanged at the sudden topic change and stepping out of the warm circle of Varun's arms. 

He follows her over to the food, walking barely half a step behind her as she picks up a plate and begins to put food on it. 'Is that really all this is then?' he asks, receiving an exasperated sigh. 'All this is just an act to you? Pretend?' he continues, aggravation increasing as she refuses to give him an answer. 'All of this is fake?' 

'Varun, just drop it.' she huffs, adding two slices of toast to her plate. 

'I can't just drop it. I need to know.' 

'Now is not the time.' she mutters, pretending to consider the fruit in the basket. 

'Then when is? Because I don't think I can keep this up much longer if we're not gonna talk about it.' he admits. 

'Talk about what? We're doing this for the sake of a friend, there's not much else to be said.' 

'So that's it? That's really all this is to you? All I am to you?' he questions, almost pleading for her to tell him otherwise. 

'Oh for the love of -!' she exclaims, cutting herself off out of exasperation, setting her plate down and turning to face him. Without sparing a thought for the people watching, the confused and slightly hurt look on Varun's face or the possible repercussions of her actions, she takes a hold of him by the collars of his shirt and tugs him down to her until their lips meet. He lets out a somewhat startled almost-whimper, freezing for a moment before his hands go to her waist, pulling her body flush against his. Her fingers curl halfway into a fist, gripping his collar tighter for a moment before she lets go of completely, breaking the kiss and letting her hands drop, one falling to her side and the other to rest on his chest. 'I'm still in love with you idiot.' she breathes. 'Happy now?' He doesn't answer, doesn't know how to, and so she takes the silence as an answer, completely misunderstanding it. 

Without another word, she turns away from him and leaves the room, holding back tears as she walks through the corridors, taking turns blindly until she thinks she's far enough away from the dining hall. Only then does she allow herself to cry; leaning against a wall in the deserted corridor, she lets her heart shed its tears. 

***

For about thirty seconds after she walks out, Varun stands there, still as a statue. As the door opens again and Shashank walks in, his brain kicks into gear again. He runs from the room, past the perplexed director, breaking into a full on sprint as he makes his way through corridor after corridor, letting his feet take him where they want to, following some kind of sixth sense that he hopes will lead him to Alia. 

When he finally finds her, he's out of breath and slightly dizzy from the spiral like layout of the hotel. 'Why must you always walk away from me?' he pants, not wanting to wait for his breath to return before speaking. She stares at him blankly, at first unable to understand the words and then unsure of how to answer. He waits for her to speak as his pulse returns to its resting rate but, when it becomes evident that she's not going to say anything, he continues. 'Seriously, anytime we're in the middle of something important, I go silent and you leave. The hell is that?' She continues to look at him, words having deserted her. 'Don't just stand there staring at me. I know it's a nice view but I need you to say something.' 

She lets out a chuckle at his words, slightly in awe of his ability to make her laugh even now. 'I don't know what to say.' she confesses, her eyes flicking downwards before she forces herself to look at him. 

'How about you start by telling me what that was back there?' he suggests. 

She contemplates silently for a moment before nodding. Just as she is about to begin to explain, her phone starts ringing. Planning on silencing it, she takes the device out of her pocket but stops when she sees their director's name displayed on the screen. Sighing, she answers, unable to get a word in before he speaks. She nods as she listens, opening her mouth as though to speak a few times but closing it again when the man continues to talk. 

Eventually, there's a longer pause and she takes advantage of it, speaking quickly. 'Okay Shashank, I'm sorry. We'll be there as soon as we can.' she says, hanging up and looking to the boy standing in front of her. 'This conversation's gonna have to wait. We were supposed to meet in the lobby five minutes ago.' He looks put out but nods and they begin to find their way out of the spiral labyrinth of corridors.

***

Of course, fate seems to be conspiring against them. When they return to the hotel after shoot that night, Sid is sat in the lobby. The tight-knit group of four actors look at each other, terrified of what might happen now. Silently, they agree that Sahil and Gaurav will distract Shashank and Alia will try and persuade the actor to leave. As the two supporting actors engage the director in a conversation and get him away from the lobby, Varun looks to his best friend, question in his eyes. How d'you want to play this? 'Let me handle it. You just stay here.' she answers quietly. She begins to cross the lobby but he catches her hand, stopping her. She turns back to look at him, heart melting when she sees the look on his face.  

'Alu, are you... I mean, you and him...?' he questions, eyes wide and pleading. She looks between the two actors, the one she loves and the one she's supposed to love. In that moment, she has to make her decision and, looking at the worry in the chocolate brown eyes of the man she's been in love with since she first realised what love really is, she knows what she's going to choose. 

'You don't have anything to worry about.' she assures him. His face relaxes and most of the worry leaves his eyes, a smile taking it's place though he doesn't allow it to show on his face. She gives him a very small smile that she hopes lets him know everything she wants to. He nods minutely and gives her hand a squeeze that she returns before letting go of his hand, fingers brushing against his for a moment as she walks away. 

He watches her cross the lobby, realising her boyfriend has been watching their entire exchange as she reaches him and he finally takes his gaze off of the girl and looks to the man, seeing his expression and the anger in his eyes. 'What the hell was that all about?' the thirty-five year old demands. 

'Before you start asking me questions, why don't you explain what the hell you're doing here?' she retorts, angrily jerking away from him as he tries to put a hand on her shoulder. 

'I came here to see you. I've got a twelve hour layover in Paris so I thought I'd come and surprise you.' he explains, apparently thinking that her anger would be reduced by the words. 

'You know full well that you can't be here. If Shashank sees you-'

'So what if he sees me? Why does he matter more than me?' Sid cuts her off. 

'Because he doesn't know a thing about me and you and if he finds out like this, it could set his recovery back by months.' she snaps, glaring at him. 

'I thought he was much better now?' he questions, narrowing his eyes accusingly. 

'He is. But that doesn't mean I want to set him back! We agreed that we're on a break until things get sorted. That means no surprise visits.' 

'I haven't seen you in ages, or spoken to you for that matter. And you're playing fucking happy families with him for the love of God.' he hisses, gesturing angrily towards Varun. 

'You leave him out of it. This is not about him, it's about you being an idiot and coming here when I specifically told you not to.' 

'And there you go, getting all defensive about him. He's not your boyfriend anymore Alia, I am. And in case you've forgotten, you were the one who left him. You were the one that started this with me.' he yells, drawing the attention of the people milling in the lobby. 'So now you don't get to drag us both through this mess.' From his spot on the other side of the room, Varun scoffs, knowing full well that he doesn't give a crap about what happens to anyone except himself. 

'I'm not the one making things messy. If you hadn't decided to be stupid and come here, there wouldn't be a mess.' she returns, voice dangerously calm. Had Varun been in Sid's place, he would've started apologising or, in the event that failed, run away from her as fast he possibly could. But Sid evidently doesn't know her well enough to realise the danger. 

'Whether I came here or not, there would still be a mess. You're playing both of us. And I'm not going to go along with your shit anymore. You're little puppy dog might be willing to follow along with what you say but I'm not going to, I don't give a shit about this stupid memory loss excuse.' It's entirely possible that he expects the statement to make her give in because, as he's proven time and again, he just doesn't know her well enough to know what her reaction will be. What he doesn't expect is the slap he receives, her hand coming down on his face so hard that his head turns and the thwack of her hand meeting his skin resounds through the lobby. 

'I really don't know what I ever saw in you.' she spits. 'We're done.' The man stares at her in shock as she stalks away from him. Varun shoots him a half-sympathetic look that also serves to tell him you kinda deserved it before running off in the same direction as Alia. 

She's standing in the corridor just off of the lobby, waiting for him. He grins brightly as he sees her and she returns it, letting out an exhilarated laugh. 'I can't believe I just did that.' she chuckles, leaning back against the wall. 

'I can. The way he was talking to you, I'm surprised you made it that long without slapping him.' he says, his grin widening as he replays the moment in his head. 

'That felt so good. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to give him one but I just kept on telling myself that it wasn't worth it, you know. It wouldn't solve anything, and it was mostly after stupid arguments. But today, he went too far. Forget what he was saying to me, hell, even forget what he was saying about you - which, by the way, was so wrong and completely uncalled for - but the fact that he came here knowing how it could hurt Shashank... and then he has the nerve to start saying shit like that. There's no way I could take it anymore.' she explains, as though she has a need to justify herself. 

'You don't need to explain Alu. Though maybe someday I wouldn't mind an explanation of the stupid arguments...' she rolls her eyes and slaps him lightly on the chest, a clear forget about it Dhawan. 'But I'm proud of you. You've learned to stand up for yourself, don't need me to do it for you anymore.' he half-jokes. 

'I'm always gonna need you Varun. We both know I'm too lazy to take care of myself.' she tells him, giving him a cheeky smirk. He laughs in spite of himself, rolling his eyes. 

'You know, now that that's sorted, there's a conversation we're supposed to have...' he murmurs, almost scared of the prospect. She hears the anxiety in his tone and takes his hand, gently stroking her thumb over the back of it. He calms at her touch, the soothing action letting him know that he has absolutely nothing to be worried about. 

'If you'd like, we could go upstairs and have that conversation now, before dinner.' she offers. 

He's about to say yes when Gaurav rounds the corner. 'Guys, I know I'm probably interrupting something important here and I'm sorry but Shashank heard parts of Sid's outburst and he's got questions.' he tells them. The thoughts of the conversation immediately disappear, worry overtaking them. 

'Is he okay?' Alia asks as they follow the thirty year old through the corridors. 

'He's a little angry but, other than that, he's fine.' he assures. The two other actors breathe simultaneous sighs of relief and then all three fall silent as they continue to walk, choosing instead to try and silently formulate explanations. 

***

When they reach the dining hall, they find out that angry is an understatement. The director is fuming, eyes spitting fire as they enter the room. 'Why the hell didn't anybody tell me?' he demands immediately. 'Forget being your director, forget needing to know about the personal equation between the two of you for the sake of the film! I'm supposed to be your friend and none of you saw fit to tell me?' They know he's hurt, understand how it must feel to be left in the dark about something so important, especially because he's always known almost everything about their relationship. There aren't the words to explain really but they have to try and so they begin to parrot the advice the doctors had given them but he quickly cuts them off. 'I don't care what the doctor told you. I want to know why you still haven't said a damn thing. It's been over a month.' 

'The truth is, neither of us really wanted to be the one to tell you.' Alia admits, knowing it's the truth even if they haven't spoken about it; she remembers the conversations they'd had about the decision the first time around and knows that the situation is the same this time as well. 'When we had to tell you the first time, well, you weren't exactly accepting of it. You refused to believe us for the longest time and, given your state, it wouldn't have been the best idea. And then, I don't know, it just, it's not like something you can just say.' 

'It doesn't matter. You two lied to me.' the man states. 

'Shashank, it was for your own good. And, okay, yeah, it's been over a month and we should have found a way to bring it up by now but, I guess we didn't really want to say it.' Varun justifies, silently telling his friend what he means by the words. It takes a few moments for the meaning to translate but, when it clicks, the man laughs. 

'I can't believe... my God, you two..?' he questions, still chuckling slightly. Aside from the three conversing, the people in the room are left confused by the words. 

'Well, you did tell us back then. Guess you know us better than we know ourselves.' Varun answers, just as cryptically. 

'Still, I never thought you would actually...' As the half spoken conversation continues, perplexed looks are exchanged and whispers are heard but all goes unnoticed by the three that are most adept at this type of conversation. 

'Yes you did. You've been trying to make sure of it for years. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were faking this whole memory loss thing to try and make it work.' Alia quips, making the director laugh heartily. 

'Not faking it. But I'm glad some good came out of it. About time you two came to your senses.' 

'You say that like we never realised before.' Varun points out. 

'Fine, about time you two came back to your senses.' he amends with yet another chuckle. This time though, the chuckle is accompanied by a meaningful look towards the 2 States actress. She goes red - redder than the director has ever seen her, except for the memorable occasion when he walked in on the pair, the day he found out about them - and shrinks into Varun's side. 'Just bear in mind, don't start - or restart - a relationship based on a lie.' he advises, the statement meant more for Alia than Varun. She nods, letting him know that she'll let the actor know the truth. He returns the nod and then quickly directs the conversation in another direction. 'So, let's stop confusing this lot and get some food?' he suggests. The crew nods almost gratefully and they begin to debate about what to have for dinner, weighing the pros and cons of going out to eat or ordering food for delivery. 

***

Finally, after several hours of sitting and trying to pretend to be interested in whatever conversation is going on, the two manage to get away. Shashank gives them an excuse, sending all the actors up to bed, telling them they have to be up in the morning and sending a discreet wink to the leading pair. The actors all take their leave, most of the supporting cast grumbling about how they don't need to be up that early and milling around in the lobby. Sahil and Gaurav are the only two that understand why the director has dismissed them all, both all smiles as they accompany the almost nervous, slightly excited pair into the lifts and up to their floor. 

When the doors slide open, the four step out and make their way down the hall, Sahil and Gaurav bidding the couple good night as they reach the two adjoining rooms they occupy. Once the doors shut, the pair continue on their way, heading to Varun's room by unspoken agreement. 

They're both nervous as they enter the room, the weight of the situation settling on them as they make their way to the bed. He sits cross-legged on the bed, facing her as she leans against the headboard, knees drawn up to her chest as though to shield her. Neither speaks for a long time, she unsure of how to even begin to explain and he not wanting to put anymore pressure on her - he'd understood Shashank's thinly veiled instructions earlier and knows how stressed they've already made her. 

Eventually, she begins to talk. There's no preamble, no warning, nothing to tell him that she's about to launch into an explanation. 'I lied to you. When I broke up with you, I lied to you. The thing about falling out of love with you and not having any feelings for you anymore, that was all complete shit.' she confesses, wrapping her arms around her legs and hugging them closer to her, almost hiding her face behind them. When she speaks again, her voice is slightly muffled but not so much that he can't understand. 'I was scared - actually no, I was absolutely, completely fucking terrified. We were so serious and I just didn't know what to do. I know I made a mistake; I should have talked to you, we would have figured it out but I was... it's like I saw the logical approach but I couldn't do it. There were so many things that could have gone wrong if I had - at least that's what I told myself. Convinced myself that it was easier this way, less chance to screw up. Except, by leaving you, I was screwing up. That night, I made the stupidest, most cowardly mistake of my entire life. I didn't even know what I was going to say to you when I told you we needed to talk, hadn't made up any of the lies beforehand, just showed up and then started saying whatever my brain made up, not thinking about how either of us would be affected. It hurt, it hurt so badly to say those things to you; and it hurt even more to see your face when I said them, the pain you tried to hide, that sad look but there was understanding there as well. And when I tried to apologise, you wouldn't hear it. I kept trying to say sorry and you wouldn't let me and you were just so damn caring and selfless, it was physically painful.' She pauses, trying to subtly wipe away the tear that has fallen at the memory. He notices and is about to move forward to wipe it for her, to comfort her but she continues before he can. 'It didn't really sink in until after I walked away, that we were over. For a few days - or maybe it was more like months really - I just kept telling myself it had all been a bad dream, a nightmare, and you were away for filming, which you were, and that when you got back I'd tell you about it and you'd laugh and tell me I was being ridiculous and, when I still wouldn't believe you, you'd smile in that way and give me one of those hugs and call me a pagli. Maybe you'd give me some long speech about how stupid I was to think that nightmare might actually have been real but, more probably, you wouldn't say anything, you'd just sit with me, maybe hold me or maybe just sit next to me. But that would be enough. Because you would be there and that's all that matters. But you weren't there, because I'd screwed up. I'd taken the cowardly route and I'd run away and so you weren't there anymore. And when it finally sunk in, I realised I couldn't even come back. There's no way I could've come back to you and apologised, done or said anything to you that might have made the mess a little less messy. For one, I didn't have the guts. Two, I couldn't figure out what I might say even if I did have the guts. Three, I couldn't do that to you, come back to you after what I'd said. When I realised that, I decided that I had to let you think I really meant what I said, make you think I'd moved on so you would. So, when I started Kapoor and Sons and had to spend so much with Sid, it just kind of seemed like the perfect opportunity. There's no way you would doubt it, not with the things I'd said to you about... well, you remember.' He nods, allowing her to move past the subject without bringing up the painful words. 'So I went for it. He played along; later I found out he had his own reasons but I really don't even care. I was so proud of myself when I managed to keep it up all through Badri and the promotions and us getting closer again. But then with this film, I don't know what happened. Even before the accident and the acting, it felt like something was happening again and now...' 

'Now it's too hard to keep denying it?' he offers softly. She lifts her head from her knees to look at him, completely still for a moment before she nods, just the very slightest movement of her neck, but very clearly a nod. 'So, what now?' 

'Well, I think that's up to you really.' she mutters, trying so hard not to get her hopes up because there's every chance he'll say it doesn't change anything. 

'I can't make this decision by myself Alu. It involves both of us.' he tells her, not unkindly. 

'But what do you want?' she persists. 

'What I really want is to stop trying to pretend that we're over each other and stop this charade of trying to move on and just be friends. We evidently can't manage it very well.' 

'Are you sure? After everything I said to you, are you sure you want me back in your life like that?' she asks, her heart scolding her brain for being willing to give up what he's offering even though her heart knows her brain is right to be hesitant; no part of her wants to risk hurting him again. 

'You just told me that you didn't mean any of it. And it's pretty clear that we both have some issues when it comes to trying to keep our feelings locked away so I don't see the point in hiding anymore. I'm done trying to keep my heart under control, fed up of keeping it under lock and key. So, if you want this like I do, then I see no reason not to go for it.' he says, looking her dead in the eye the entire time. 

'I do. I want this.' she responds immediately. 'And, this time, I don't think I want to hide. From anyone.' 

'Then we won't. We'll be open about it, from the very beginning if you want.' 

'I, yeah, I think maybe that's a good idea. No hiding, no trying to keep it quiet.' She nods thoughtfully. 'It'll make things easier, not so strained.' 

'Yeah, and there's the added bonus of letting every guy in the world know not to even think about it.' he adds, more serious than not. 

'But you know people will talk right? I mean, it's not even been a day since I broke up with Sid and the news about that most definitely isn't out there yet and if we let people know from now-' She stops talking when he takes her hand, turning it to fit with his and intertwining their fingers as looks at her in the way that never fails to calm her down. 'I'm overthinking this aren't I?' she mumbles. 

'Just a bit.' he confirms, chuckling as she groans, eyes closing from frustration. He brings their connected hands up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to hers, locking eyes with her as hers flutter open. 'It doesn't need to be so complicated Alu. We don't have to let the whole world know right now. And if you want to, it doesn't have to be a big deal. I mean, technically we don't have to say we're together. A picture of the two of us can have the whole world speculating, spark so much conjecture that even Karan won't know how to deal with it or what to believe. But that's all it'll be until we say otherwise, and we won't say otherwise until you want to.' 

'As much as I want to just come out and say it, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to make people wonder for a bit.' she muses. 'Not that we haven't already sparked enough conjecture for several lifetimes, but it wouldn't hurt to spark just a little more. So long as we do clear things up, sooner than later.' 

'We will. But none of it has to be done right this second. We can wait till morning and have the night to sleep on it.' he suggests. 

'That would probably be the smart thing to do.' she agrees, words followed by a yawn. 

'I think it's time for bed.' he says, a yawn slipping from his own mouth seconds later. Now that they've had the conversation they needed to, they're both feeling the call of sleep, eyes drooping even as he stands to shed his shirt and jeans, throwing the t-shirt to her as she heads to the bathroom to change. She catches it easily, without turning or even looking in his direction. It is all so familiar to both of them, part of their routine, a routine that they had almost forgotten in the years they were apart but have discovered again in the time they've been together. They are still as in tune with each other now as they had been then, maybe even more so. The thought is scary but, this time, it's in a good way. This time, there won't be any running away. 

Surprisingly, she's calm as she walks out of the bathroom and climbs into the bed next to him. There's no hesitation when she slips under the covers, the silent debate of whether they should stick to separate sides that has occurred every night that she's spent with him no longer an issue. She happily curls up next to him and - though she's still absolutely terrified of how serious things will get between them, still frightened beyond belief at how easy this is and how much she wants the future that they used to discuss - feels the most wonderful calmness settle over her, over them both. One of his arms is draped over her, the other hand under his head, and he pulls her in just a little closer, the warmth radiating from his body and the sound of his even breath quickly lulling her to sleep. The last thing she sees before her eyes close for the night is the sleepy smile on his face, his eyes shining with it as they begin to close. 

***

The next morning, they are woken by their director. He spends five minutes knocking at the door before letting himself in with the spare key that he gets because he's in charge of making the film. On seeing the scene before him, Alia laying with her head on Varun's chest as the man's arm wraps protectively around her and her hand splayed over his heart, he stops, unable to shatter the peaceful moment - not without documenting it at least. He takes his phone out and snaps a picture, sending it to them both with a message: didn't mean to be creepy but couldn't let the opportunity pass. Now that the moment has been saved, he feels no guilt in waking them, telling them to hurry up and get downstairs for breakfast; they have a tight schedule today. 

Unbeknownst to the two, he spends a lot of time that day capturing them on camera - and not on the one that is used for filming. He watches them over the course of the day, sees that they aren't trying to hide at all and thinks that they deserve to have someone save these moments for them, immortalise them in a way that they weren't the first time around. They had been rather grateful for the picture he'd taken that morning and he thinks they'll be just as pleased to see these, so he takes them and stores them in a folder, deciding to send them all at once at the end of the day. 

When they see the pictures, they're over the moon, both of them flicking through them together, stopping on some for longer than others. As he watches them, he can't help but take one last picture; the two are sat on the floor of the dining hall that functions as the gathering place for the crew, she's sat between his legs holding the phone and he's looking over her shoulder at the pictures. He says something about one of them, pointing out some detail and she looks up from the phone, turning her head slightly so she can see him. She laughs at something he says, nose scrunching slightly and he looks at her with the most adoring expression on his face, his lips curving upwards in a smile so soft that it almost seems fragile yet so bright that it could light a city for a month. 

Silently, he takes the photo. He debates for a long moment, his phone open on the share media page. It isn't entirely his place but he's shared pictures from set plenty of times before, not all that unlike this one, and he doesn't think they'll have a problem really because he knows that they aren't hiding this time, would know it from their behaviours even if he hadn't been told that morning over breakfast, but also knows that they have no idea how to be open about this. So he does it for them. Instead of clicking WhatsApp on the little share via pop up box, he clicks Instagram. The post is simple, no filters, no hashtags, just the names of his two friends and a short caption: There are some moments that words fail to describe. This is one of them. He hits post and then shares it to twitter as well, wanting anyone who can see it to see it because if there's one picture that could really show someone what happiness and love mean, he's sure this is it. 

He's not surprised when the phone in his lead actress's hand buzzes or when the two actors exchange a confused look. Her hand moves slightly and, even from across the room, he knows she's checking the notification. For a moment, the two actors simply stare at the screen, possibly shocked, maybe - hopefully not - a little mad. He worries for a moment that he's overstepped his bounds but then a smile breaks over Alia's face and Varun lets out one of his soft chuckles, the ones that come out with extreme emotion. She speaks and the director doesn't need to hear to know what she's saying, has seen both of his lead actors say the words so many times that he knows the shape they take: We look good together huh? The actor's grin widens as it always does at the words and he nods with his reply: Amazing. For a moment, the actors are lost in their filmi moment but, when it breaks, they both look round, searching for their director. Varun is the first to meet his eyes and he nods, smile still just as bright, mouthing a silent thanks. Alia's gaze finds him a second later and she doesn't need to say anything to let him know that she's just as grateful as the man who's arms are currently surrounding her. Shashank returns their smiles, sending his own silent thanks out to whatever higher power there is because these two have finally got back to the right place and the contagious happiness that was ever-present on the sets of his first film has finally returned. 

Epilogue

The picture causes speculation and conjecture just as they had predicted. They allow people to come up with their own theories and bounce ideas around for a week before they decide to stop things before they get out of hand. With one phone call, they manage to get things sorted and by the time they get back to Mumbai, the whole world knows about the events that transpired in Paris. 

Even three years later, people still haven't got used to it. Pictures of the two together still cause a stir, especially when they're posted by one of the actors. The pictures the two post of each other cause even more of a stir, no matter how many pictures they've previously posted. 

The posts aren't often but they aren't all that rare either. Soon enough, their fans have even learnt to tell how they're feeling by the pictures they post and figured out that they serve as a means of communication between the two actors, a silent code that's just for them - even if the rest of the world has it figured out too. It doesn't matter who knows because they are unabashedly, unashamedly, unapologetically in love and they don't care who knows anymore. 

Varun seems to have an endless supply of Alia pictures - cute, beautiful, completely ridiculous, childishly silly, aggravated, sleepy, off set, on set - and he never hesitates to use one. Cute to say I don't think I'll ever get enough of you, beautiful to say I can't tell you how much I love you, completely ridiculous to say you're crazy but my kind of crazy, childishly silly to say I love that you let me see this you, on set when he's nostalgic.  

Alia has a never ending collection of Varun pictures - serious, handsome, relaxed, tense, at work, at home, tired, adorable, annoyed, goofy - and they make semi-regular appearances on her social media accounts. Serious when she thinks he needs a reminder to lighten up, relaxed to say I could spend all my time with you and never get bored, at home when she's reminiscing, adorable to say I thought I couldn't love you more but you proved me wrong, goofy when she feels like posting something of him just because.

 When one's on an outdoor schedule, the frequency of the pictures seem to increase. There are selfies that say I'm missing you and I really wish you were here or I was there, pictures of them cuddling or just being together that others have taken which say I'm coming home soon but it's not soon enough, old pictures from their movies together which say I'm shooting somewhere we shot together and there's so many memories here, and the ones that the two look forward to the most, the ones of them hugging and smiling and holding on so tight that say I'm on my way now, I'll be there soon. 

Maybe these are things that should be completely personal, kept secret between the two but they know that their relationship will never be just them anyway because they are public figures and they are together and it's what they signed up for. So they give the world these small pieces of them, share parts of the life they lead together and in return the world leaves them alone. There are no whispers of insecurities, no rumours of jealousy, no articles about a break up because it is impossible for anyone to deny that the two are still just as in love as they have always been. 

Of course, there are those who speculate about how long the relationship will last, who talk about the chances of two actors who have always been so in demand and remain to be so popular to be able to make a relationship work but eventually, even they have to give up because they get solid, undeniable proof that these two will make it work.  

The proof comes three weeks after her thirtieth birthday in the form of a picture posted across all her social media accounts and another picture on all of his. They argue for almost a week about how they are going to make this announcement - because it is something that they wouldn't be able to keep quiet even if they had wanted to and it deserves to be announced anyway - until they decide to keep it simple, just a picture that wouldn't catch much attention until one looks closely, something that might be dismissed as movie preparations at the first glance. 

She posts a picture of dozens of envelopes and cards, each a different size and shape and colour and design. They are simple yet elegant, none too flashy and none too plain and all with the same text because, though they pretend that a choice is yet to be made, all of them will be used. On the top most card, the top two lines can be read: You Are Invited to the Engagement Party of Mr. Varun David Dhawan and Miss Alia Mahesh Bhatt. The rest of the card is covered an envelope, placed in such a way that it covers the date and venue but seems accidental. And so it begins. Choices, choices reads the caption for the picture. 

He posts a picture of clothing racks and shoes, sherwanis hanging closely packed together with half a dozen laying across a chair. They are the delicately embroidered, slightly heavy suits that are made for grooms and it doesn't take long for people to put two and two together. There is only one word that accompanies the picture: Excited!  And he is, really truly excited beyond belief. 

They're about to start on yet another new journey and the both of them are more nervous than they've ever been, more excited than they have ever thought they could be. But, above all, they are unbelievably, indescribably happy. 

A/N: So, I'm sorry again for the long wait. Sprained my wrist and couldn't type for two weeks. And then this ran away with itself and got longer and longer. 

I know the ending was a little OOC but I dunno, it seemed sweet and I like it so yeah. I also seem to really like writing these things where they let the world know they're together because my brain likes coming up with them. And yes, I know they mainly focus on social media but they aren't gonna hold a press conference for this kind of thing now are they? 

In other news, I start uni in like two weeks and I'm moving out - as in to my own flat where I'm expected to adult and holy hell, I don't know how to do that - on Saturday. So, sorry again but, the updates are gonna take a while. Maybe longer than they already do (though I'm gonna try my best not to let that happen.) 

Anyways, that's all for now folks. See you soon I hope.