"Wife- what are you doing up?" I ask Cora as she crosses the kitchen, and I can't help but smile, being able to call her that. She looks up at me.
"What does it look like? Daniel?" She says with a yawn and a smile, as she goes back to the fridge.
"It's four thirty in the morning. You went to sleep three hours ago-"
"The girls will be up soon, and Dylan always gets up early. The scouts will come piling in, and then I'll be behind. I cook now, so I can sleep later."
"Then let me help," I say as I go around the counter and start the coffee maker. She comes up to me, and nods as I grab her head in my hands and kiss her forehead. "Okay, I'll try not to mess up, you try not to stress yourself out." I say and she nods again.
"Alright, just make something, doesn't matter, they scarf through a buffet anyway." She says as she walks away. "The twins- Rose and Vi, I mean, they're not aging quickly, but they eat just as much as Lavender, and even Chandler is starting to eat whole foods... Someday- soon- we're going to clear the grocers out." She laughs as she works and speaks, and it's so comforting to see her that way. Just happy.
"We should help the girls with their garden,"'I say, "I think we should grow more of our own food."
"We don't exactly have time for gardening." She says, as she gives me a confused look. I shrug.
"Life goes on, right-"
"Did Owen talk to you?" She asks as she scrunched her eyebrows at me, and puts her hand on her stomach- which she's starting to do whenever she's angry, or upset. I chuckle, because she seems so worked up, but I have no idea what she's so upset about. "You did-"
"I assure you, I didn't," I say as I begin helping her. "What does Owen have to do with gardening?" I ask. She watches me, but I can sense she doesn't believe me a bit, "I swear I don't know what you're talking about, Cora," I promise, as her face remains stern, and unbelieving.
"Fine..."
"What did he say?" I ask her as I put the pans I need out on the counter. She watches me as I go to the fridge, and I mirror her look at me, and she cracks. She rolls her eyes as she smiles.
"Nothing." She says quickly.
"No," I point at her as I walk back across the room as I chuckle, "what did he say." I repeat, and she looks flustered, but I see her cracking, the more I look up at her.
"Everyone's gonna have kids again, soon. First it was just Owen and Frea, because Sam and Alice wanted a child- but now Dylan's got Winny excited about it... They still haven't talked to Leon and Heather, but I wouldn't be surprised if they wanted to... They just want your blessing- our blessing- I guess." She says, as she looks down at her cooking, and her face begins to glow red with embarrassment. "I thought Owen talked to you about it."
"No," I chuckle, as my head begins to spin. I clear my throat, "I mean- we still haven't even had the babies yet," I say as I look across the kitchen at her stomach. Her hand goes right back on top of it.
"That's what I said," she replies as she shrugs with another soft chuckle, "they've all just got that pack mentality- they're going crazy- because everything that's happening-"
"You know what? Let's do it. We'll be the first," I say, even though I haven't quite thought it all the way through, "I always wanted a big family." I add, because the more I think about it the better it sounds. Thinking about everything- the danger- all the time, it only makes me want that safety of a big family even more. It makes me want to cling to my family, even tighter, and I can see why everyone else wants more of that.
"What?!" She looks at me with shock on her face- as she realizes I'm serious- and suddenly it's glowing ever brighter. "You're crazy-"
"I'm crazy for you- and you're so sexy all knocked up, you can rest a bit, and then we can have some more. Lots of them." I tease her, and she lights up like a little beacon again.
"You're such a-"
"Babe." I give her a stern look, but I can't help but smirk, because it only makes her more flustered.
"Daniel!" She huffs, and throws a rag at me, but I dodge it- because I know her, too well. "That little grin and green eyes aren't going to work-"
"They always have." I say with a shrug, and a smirk, because it's still working; and to this day, I can't believe it does, I can't believe she loves me. "Oh, I did something, in the nursery, I want your approval, little Luna." I say, and suddenly I'm feeling sappy, and it's embarrassing.
It makes me feel like a kid.
It makes me feel weak, and vulnerable, and I've always hated that feeling.
"You okay?" She asks. I blink a few times, and realize I had been in thought, and it must have made her nervous. She can read me like a book, too. I nod, and smile again, and instantly her mood changes again, and she's no longer worried.
"I'm fine- after breakfast, I want to show you what I did upstairs." I tell her, and she smiles as she nods, and I want so badly to go over to her. To do things to her that would keep that smile on her face, but I know she's too stressed, and I know it would t be as helpful as I imagine it to be.
"Alright, but then I'm going back to sleep." She says, as she tries to give me a serious look.
"Can I come-"
"I'll never get sleep Daniel." She says, and I can't help but like that she's been calling me that more lately, something about it just sounds so fucking sweet. Like strawberries, and honey, and all things delicate, and sugary and pure. Like her.
When she says it I feel like a kid again, but in a good way. A way I can enjoy, a way that reminds me of the moment I met her.
It doesn't embarrass me, it makes me feel good. It makes me want her so badly.
"Daniel Snow! I swear!" She says as her cheeks glow red again.
"What?" I laugh, as I smile at her, and my eyes wander down to her chest, and then her round stomach, her hands.
"You know what! You're undressing me with your eyes! And I have things to do- and- and your eyes are all bugged out- what if someone walks in here? When I'm red- like-"
"Like a little match flame-"
"Like a wildfire- so stop it!" She whines, and I can't help, but enjoy teasing her, when I know she likes it so much, and she can't stop smiling, and glowing redder. "You know, I knew you were trouble the day I met you, Sir." She says, and I clear my throat as I feel heat rising to my face.
"Cora..."
"What?" She swallows hard and backs up, as she backs away from what she's doing. She watches me, as I watch her, and we both just stand there. She nods, and she understands- she must, I'm staring right at her- and I see everything.
Like when I'm wolf- crisp, and clear, and sharp.
I can see every strand of cotton on her dress- every fiber- I can see so well that the spaces, as I stare more, become more evident, and I see the silhouette of her body in more detail. I can see the soft, barely tanned skin, almost glowing beneath the fibers of her dress. Her chest as she tries to breath shallowly, as it moves against the fabric, and then moves away. Her stomach the most evident, as it presses against the loose fabric. "Daniel-"
I hold my hand up, and close my eyes, trying not to get caught up in her again, but when they're closed for too long I start seeing the deep liquids- red in my mind. Red like in my dreams.
I growl as I swallow hard again, as if I could swallow the feeling away, but I can't. I look back at her, and she stares right back, and the honey that she speaks is now evident in her eyes, and it isn't helping. At all.
If she speaks again... I'll fucking lose it. Completely.
"Hey- calm down," she says sternly. I swallow hard, and nod. I see the fear in her eyes, and it makes me feel terrible, but now all I can see is her. She is all I can smell, and she is everything, and it's hard to think about all at once and not be overwhelmed.
I stare down at my hands, count back from a hundred, and she stays quiet. It helps, but then I hear her growl, under her breath. She does this in her human form so little that it worries me, and I instantly look up at her. She's not backing away now, she's taken a step forward, and is looking up at me still, but now her iris' are huge, and it's eerie.
It's like a strange sense of paranoia, and fear, mixed with excitement- the feeling of being at the edge of your seat. It's nowhere near nightfall, but I'm sure the moon is still somewhere in the sky- and I can feel it, because I can see her. All of her. When she stares back I see the deep void that we slip into when our wolf is taking control. I hear the void in her eyes calling out to mine, and they draw us towards each other- like black holes mirroring one another.
I want her to tear me apart.
I want her to bring my own wolf from that void, and for her to run with me while the moon is still above us. She wants it too, I know it would leave us feeling like shit- if we change while the sun is too high, and the moon is barely there- but I feel so strong when she looks at me like that. With the color of her eyes glowing like a ring of fire around the darkness that calls me- I feel like I can do anything.
She can do anything. She's my Luna.
"Danny let's go to the forest..." She says, as she puts her hands on the island counter that separates us. I feel my temperature rising all over my body.
"We shouldn't." I say, because I know she's tired, and for a moment it crosses my mind that the babies are tired, too. Suddenly my vision blurs and I see everything through a red fog, and I grab the counter, as my head spins.
"Danny?" Her voice raises with concern, but she still doesn't sound like herself. I blink, rub my eyes, and again the red fog is gone. When I look at her she seems to be in more control.
She's in better control than I am, because she's better than I am. She is stronger. I feel weak in her presence, suddenly, and I want to fight it. I want to be strong for her. I want to take care of her, and protect her, but I can't.
"I have to go." I say, and she nods, as her pupils get smaller. "I'm sorry," I say, as she shakes her head, and now she's normal, and I'm starting to see red again. I clench my fists and back up towards the door. "Don't- don't worry." I say, as I feel my bones begin to ache, needing whatever light the moon has to offer, so I can get rid of this feeling.
"You shouldn't go." She says, but it's too late. "I know I suggested it- but I wasn't thinking straight. You keep changing like this, when you're seeing things unclear, you're going to hurt yourself," she says, as she follows me, and I back away quicker, and put my hand on the door knob.
"Cora- I can't stop it, I'll be back." I say, and swallow hard, because I want to take her with me, and make her laugh, and smile, throw her over my shoulder, and turn wolf with her, and run with her, like we used to, but I can't. I'm not myself, not now, or when I'm wolf. I don't know how much longer she can put up with it, because she looks impatient already, but I just hope she can forgive me for it.
She walks up to me, and before I can stop her for her own good- she pulls me into a kiss. She grabs me by my neck, and pulls herself closer to me, and I can't help but press her against me, feel the soft skin laying under the cotton, touch her sweet face.
With my eyes closed, her sweet lips pressed against mine, the red blur takes over. I growl so loud my chest hurts, because it's a growl made for bigger lungs, and a stronger heart- it's made for a wolf.
She presses against me more, and I rub her side, but I have to step away. I can't keep pushing it like this.
"What?" She looks up at me with worry in her eyes, but I don't reply right away, because I'm listening. "Is there someone out there?" She asks, and I see fear in her eyes again, and I can tell she's slipping, and thinking about things she shouldn't have to.
"I don't know. Maybe. I have to go," I say, because I am worried- and I don't want her to see it. I don't want her to be around me when I feel this angry either. I need to do this on my own.
"Alright," she says, and I nod as I start to leave. "Don't be gone too long, Danny," she adds, but I'm already changing. I don't reply, because I need to get away from her, before I take her with me. And I need to find whatever's worrying me.