~Los Angeles,
•05/25 {Thursday, 2:15 P.M}
~*~ Dorian ~*~
I couldn't believe it, but I was about to finally do it. After all those years, I was finally about to tell the whole story once again. The only time I did it was when I went to my cousins' house for help and had to explain everything to Richard and Tinashe. Since then, my people and I were scared --I guess-- to associate me and this tragedy. It was always awkward whenever we were talking about the whole situation. Well, nobody really knew the reason of my incarceration except my mother, Richard, Tinashe and RJ.
But now another person was about to know and I didn't know how she was going to react, I was anxious to make her look at me a total other way and I was afraid to make her run away, but I felt like I had to be honest with her and I trusted her anyways, so why not ?
I was just hoping that she won't see me as a monster because that's what I wasn't. I was a teenager and we were in a very fool situation, and I just wanted to protect my mother. Never in my life I wanted to kill one of my parents and waste some of my precious time of life in prison.
But that's what happened, that was my life and I had to live with it now.
"Do you want to start ? " I asked and bit on my bottom lip.
She took a deep breath, "Curtis and I went through another heat argument and I was completely done with our marriage. This day, I was just thinking about one thing and it was to get my son and I out of this messed up situation. I had already prepared everything for us to leave the house for good in the afternoon. We woke up in the morning and I drove him to day care as usual and went to work. I was finishing at 3 P.M and I planned to go back home to take our stuff and then bring them to the hotel room where we were going to stay for a couple of days." She paused licking her lips.
I placed my hand on her shoulder to show her my support, "Take your time, don't worry."
She nodded, "The women that were taking care of the kids were really nice and very helpful. When I got home, I decided to call them so they could know that I was going to be late to pick up Elijah, but then they were telling me to not worry because his father already came earlier and that he was in good hands. The things is Curtis was going crazy those past weeks and I'd never seen him acting like that before. It was so frightening. I tried to help and do my best as his wife, but it seems like it was too late, like if he was already too lost to be saved. The night before he was really talking reckless and saying the most insane things I ever heard getting out of his mouth. That's why I decided to leave the house without telling him, because I was scared of what he could do knowing that. Every time I warned him about leaving with Elijah if he didn't get some professional help, he was telling me to not play with him and that I'll regret to ever think about leaving with his son." She chocked a little and took another deep breath.
"I was panicking when she told me that he picked him up. I tried to call him, but he wasn't answering. I tried for ten minutes while trying to find out where he could have taken my son. Finally, he called me, but only to tell me bye and then hang up on my face. Minutes after he was calling again, but when I picked up, he wasn't talking. I could only hear his breathing." She bit on her lip and closed her eyes for a second.
"Then I heard my baby's voice...He was laughing. It calmed me a little...until I heard a scream, his scream. He was telling Curtis that there was a fire and that they needed to get out, then he ended the call." A tear fell from her eye and I wiped it with my thumb.
"You can stop if you want to." I actually wanted her to stop because what she already said was breaking my heart and I didn't know if I was ready to hear the other half of the story.
She shook her head, "No, I have to do this. I was running around the city, trying to find them, when I received a message with an address. I went there and...there was people everywhere, firemen and the police and..." She broke down.
That was so shocking. This man wasn't doing good and he decided to take his own son with him through his downfall. I couldn't believe it. This man suicided and killed his child at the same time. He burnt them down, like that. He wasn't taking too well the fact that he was losing his family because of his bullshit and instead of doing something to work it out, he gave up and destroyed the two most important people to his heart. I couldn't understand how he could even do it, how it could even think about doing this to his own family. How did it even make sense to him ? How was it right to his eyes to do this ?
I was definitely admiring her more for going through this.
"I'm not done yet."
What ? I frowned, "What do you mean ? " There was more ?
Oh Lord !
"I thought he burnt this house with them inside, but it actually was another family. They had an accident, the curtains took fire and everybody was fortunately safe."
I didn't know why, but it made me sigh in relief, even if I knew that this wasn't going to end too well.
She swallowed the saliva she had stuck in her throat and continued, "I went back to my car and then my phone rang. I picked it up and Curtis said something like if you don't come back home in the next ten minutes, it'll be too late."
She chocked a little and kept going, "To do short, when I finally got home, it was past the ten minutes and--" She paused to calm down, "I searched them throughout the house, calling their names and they were nowhere to be found...until I went to Elijah's room."
My heart made a big jump in my chest, "They were laying on his carpet, blood everywhere...he shoot my baby in his chest, where the heart is and...he shoot himself in the head...it was too late."
My mind made a whole 360 turn, "Wait a minute..."
"Yes, I know."
"You're still living in the house ? The same house they..." I paused, waiting for her to tell me otherwise, but she didn't do it.
She sniffed, wiping some tears away. So, it was for real ? She was still living in the house where her ex-husband killed their son and himself. It was crazy, "Don't judge me, please. I couldn't see myself leaving for some reason. You're the only one to know this little detail by the way."
My eyebrow arched, "For real ? "
She nodded, "I still don't know what exactly happened at this moment, but it was like someone else was inside me and controlling my body and brain...I...I moved their bodies to another place, cleaned everything...threw my carpet and the clothes away...then burnt it all, so they couldn't find it." She let escape the breath she was holding, "I don't know why I did...but I did."
Even if I wanted, I couldn't judge her, mainly in my position. We did moved my dad's body --that stayed in our house, laying on the carpet in the living room for two or three whole days after my mother and I ran away-- so we could make believe people that his death was an accident, well another accident. And we let the body in the hood, we never really properly buried him. And we did hide the gun, until I decided to face the consequences of my act.
I really couldn't judge her.
She looked at me with tears falling from both of her eyes, "Do you think that I'm crazy ? "
I caressed her cheek, "If I think that about you, then we're both crazy, but it's okay." I chuckled, "At least we know."
"So...you're not going to end us ? " She asked and I shook my head.
"We're too far into this now." I smiled. Honestly though, I was a bit surprised to find out this part about Docia's past, but I couldn't change it and I wasn't better than her anyways to treat her less than a human being. We're humans and meant to make mistakes. That's life.
I was just hoping that she'll react the same way once I'll have told my story. After all, I killed someone and it wasn't just a random person in the streets nor one of my biggest enemies. No, it was my father, the man without whom I wouldn't be there, breathing and enjoying life.
I imagined it happening a few times when I was in prison and this scenario was never ending too well.
I'd always imagined people reacting only one way towards my story, fear and rejection. To me, nobody would never be ready to hear it. But I was going to tell Docia.
I really didn't want to lose her though.
"It's my turn now, I guess." I took a deep breath and told her everything, without forgetting a detail. I told her the story from when my parents started to argue to me going to jail right after graduating high school. I told her about my father forcing himself into my mother and how I unfortunately witnessed that. All the emotions were coming back and by the end of the story I was crying, but at the same time feeling happy with myself. It actually felt good to have told her everything. I didn't need to hide this away from her anymore.
She placed her hand on my shoulder, "It wasn't your fault, Dorian. You just wanted to protect your mother, nothing else. To me, you're not a murderer. It was self-defense for someone else, your mother. You were just a child who wanted to protect his mother."
"I could've done something else though. It could've ended differently."
"Maybe...But to be honest, I would've done the same. That was so fool of your father to...do this in front of you. A parent is not supposed to hurt physically or emotionally the other parent in front of their child, that's so..." She frowned, "I don't care how upset you are, you just don't do that."
"I always wonder how life would be if none of this never happened. Would they still be alive ? Or would they died that soon regardless ? Would they still be married ? I have so many questions."
"I know. It's the same for me. What if that, what if this and you can go for hours, days and then weeks."
"And then years." I completed her sentence.
"Those questions would never go away though. No matter what happened, there will always be those moments in your life that will leave millions of unanswered questions forever. We can't do nothing about it, that's life."
"Crazy how a broken person can make someone so happy ? " In our case, we were two broken people who were making each other happy. That was so insane.
"Life is full of mysteries."
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A/N: So, what are your thoughts about this chapter ? Did you like it ? Do you think that Docia is crazy ? How do you think their relationship is gonna go from there ?
PS: If you didn't notice yet, I have a new story called End Of Your Comfort Zone (EOYCZ) and there's already a chapter. A second one will be coming soon. Check it out if you're interested. I hope I'll see some of you there 😁
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CissyItsMe 💋✌🏾❤️