"I really dislike it... No, I hate it!"
But there was nothing for me to do to change it. Accepting it was my only option, but that was probably the most difficult challenge.
The new dug treatment gave me a few more weeks until my condition worsened so fast that my doctor forbid my attendance at school. He said I shouldn't force myself too much and adviced I should rest as much as possible.
'Seriously, as if I could rest properly with the fear that I won't be able to live a normal life again...
... a life where I could move my body without becoming dyspnea and panic attacks...
... a life where I won't have to take those drugs that sometimes leaves side affects like nausea or dizziness...
... a life in which I could do whatever I want to do...
... a life without making those I love to worry...
... a life where I don't have to be afraid that any moment could be my last...'
But the most frustrating thing was that after death I would leave behind Seijūrõ and I was sure his already broken personality would be tattered even more than now. But at this moment I couldn't do the slightest to change it.
Right now I was practically chained to my bed and I really couldn't do much. Only allowed from time to time to transfer into the wheelchair but this depends on my condition.
Seijūrõ who had finally calmed down was the only person who treated me normally and without looking at me with those eyes full of pity as everyone else does and I was really grateful about it. He even informed my family about my current condition and this was strangely enough to make me worry about him.
The moment my family were informed about my disease they couldn't be reassured that a visit would be unnecessary. My grandma and Shiro came all the way from Tatsuno to Kyoto and stayed for the weekend in a hotel close to the mansion, although Seijùrõ insisted that they could stay here. But my grandmother didn't wanted to become a burden. The most thing that surprised me except of Seijūrõs slightly changed behavior was that even Mom and Shuzo came the long way from America to Japan just because of my condition. Their visit lasted almost two weeks. Although I couldn't move freely and was mostly sitting in bed or in the wheelchair for those two weeks I felt really alive. On one day we even could go sightseeing.
To be honest I was glad to were able to have seen them again, they showed me pictures where they were currently living and pictures of my Dad whom treatment already showed success. Mom said if the progress of Dad's health continues they would be able to return to Japan in about two years. My mood was lifted for a few days after their departure before I fall back into my tryst life.
Along with the change of season came the bad news that my doctor don't see any chance for me to live on without putting my name on the transplantation list for a new heart. But who knows if I would be able to get one. The weeks showed that someone's name stood always above mine and needed the heart more or even if nobody was above my name they couldn't find a heart that met the requirments.
On my good days I could manage to walk for almost 15 minutes straight before I got so much out of breath that I had to sat down and use an asthma inhalator to open up my bronchiols. Even if I used a low pace I always ended up the same. It was an constantly up and down. Sometimes I got pulmonary edema because of the lack of cardiac output. But despite all of this I had good moments that were worth to remember as well.
Five weeks after the first visit of Grandma and Shiro they unexpectedly came visiting me again. Back then I had promised I would call them at least once or twice the week and I hold the promise, so they knew about the ups and downs.
It was Saturday morning Seijūrõ and I had breakfast and just returned to his room as one of the maids knocked on the door.
"Seijūrõ-sama! Sorano-sama's Grandmother and her borther are here to pay her a visit" Her shy voice resounded from the other side of the door.
Seijūrõ and I shared a quick eye contact before he answered her. "Bring them to the living room. We're coming down"
Before Seijūrõ had even the slightest bit of a chance to get me into the wheelchair I headed as fast as my physically condition allowed it to the living room but half on the way I was slowed down by Seijūrõ as he grabbed my wrist.
"Slow down. You will see them soon enough" he ordered with a calm voice. I nodded silently.
As we entered the living room Grandma and Shiro were sitting on the big couch next to each other. Both of them looked quite happy as they saw me and immediately stood up and walked towards us to greet us. But then I noticed the box Shiro was holding with both arms.
"We brought you something" Grandma stated who noticed my glance on the box. The emphasis lay on 'something'. "It's something to brighten up your days and distract you a bit. I am sure you're lonely most of the day"
Just then she turned towards Shiro, opened the box and what she took out literally stole my breath away. Out of the box came a small little puppy.
Grandma held it towards me and dumbfounded I took it into my arms, unsure what to think of this 'present'. I patted it's head and it started to wag its tail back and forth. Seriously I didn't know what to say.
I let it down and after running around the room to inspect it closely the puppy ran straight to Seijūrõ who was watching it the whole time with a disapproving face. Not knowing in which dangerous territory it was it cluelessly snuggeled against Seijūrõs feet.
"It seems to like you, Akashi-kun" My Grandma mentioned before I could bring myself to say anything. "Oh... That reminds me, I am sorry that we didn't ask about your approval to bring her such a present. I hope it can help her feel better. Someone in our neighbourhood told me that she heard that some people felt way better when they got a pet. So I thought it would be worth a try"
For a split second I wanted to deny this 'present' but on the second thought it would be here all day and maybe I really would feel less lonely. So I kept quiet and waited for Seijūrõs answer.
A short moment of silence passed in which his glance rested on the puppy that was still snuggling against the lower part of his leg. A last one glance at me and he sighed out in defeat. "It can stay as long as it's not getting in my way"
"Really?" All three of us asked in unison but with different backgrounds. While grandma replied relieved, Shiro asked skeptically while my respond was a neutral question, unsure if I heard well.
"Yes." One more time he looked down at the small furball before he turned around and left the room.
"Thank you, Grandma! Shiro!" I both pulled them in a heartwarming embrace.
'I have to thank Seijūrõ later too'
After playing with the little puppy for sometime I went out with Grandma and Shiro to buy some dog accessories like a leash, food bowl, dog basket, food and some toys. Before we went out I asked Seijūrõ if he would want to join us but he denied it in an instand and directed his attention back to the book he was currently studying. I was a bit disappointed but it was still fun with Grandma who was carrying the puppy and Shiro who was pushing me before him in my wheelchair. From time to time he teased me like a little child as he just stopped and walked ahead without me or just fastened the pace as he started running without a warning. But it was okay for me as long as I could see him laughing so freely.
In the afternoon both of them traveled back home and I was left back with my new companion. On Seijūrõs order I placed the dog bed in the corner of the corridor close to my room. At first I didn't agree to his suggestion because in my opinion such a little dog shouldn't sleep alone but after a little dispute I gave in and placed it on its new location. But there was one thing I still had to decide on my own...
"How should I call you, hm?" I asked the puppy that was sitting on my lap as I searched for a name on my smartphone while petting the dogs head.
"You still haven't decided?" Seijūrõ who just entered my room responded.
"No" I shook my head as negation. "I thought about the name 'Tobi' for quite a while but I am not sure if it would suit him" I told Seijūrõ as he sat down next to me on the couch. He gazed down on the puppy that was dozing off on my lap.
"Genjirõ" Seijūrõ muttered under his breath, only hearable because of the small distance between us.
"Genjirõ? That's a cute name" once again I patted the puppy's head, satisfied with its new name.
"Seijūrõ?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for allowing me to keep him" I leaned over to him and kissed his cheek, warmth filled my weakening heart. He just wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pressed me against him. At this time he hadn't imagined that he would regret his approval so soon.
When we were about to go to bed we placed Genjirõ in his new one. For a short moment he was quiet but then he started to whimper and whine.
"Make that it stops" Seijūrõ ordered annoyed and turned around in bed.
Slowly I got out of his bed and opened the bedroom door just to find the little puppy sitting there. Genjirõ jumped against my leg the moment he saw me. I brought him back to his basket, patted his head a few times before returning back to Seijūrõ. I cuddled against him, seeking out the warmth of his body just to be interrupted by the same whimper and whine from before.
Once again I brought it back to its bed and went back to bed myself. Seijūrõ pulled me against him vigorously. For a short moment he rested his head in the crook of my neck before he placed kisses on my sensitive skin. A scratching on the door distracted him again.
"See. I told you he wouldn't like it to sleep alone" I teased.
"It won't sleep in my room" He replied coldly.
"Well then. I will sleep in my room tonight" But before I could get even in sitting position let alone out of bed, Seijūrõ was already standing and heading to the door. "No, you won't"
Curiously and skeptically at the same time I watched Seijūrõ as he left the room and came back a few seconds later with the basket under one arm and Genjirõ under his other arm. It looked so ridiculous that I had to suppress to laugh really hard.
For the time being the puppy was satisfied with his new sleeping place and Seijùrõ crawled back into bed. Tired of behind interrupted for the third time he just got me tight in his arms and muttered a small 'good night'.
A few hours later the small puppy did his best to get both of our attentions as he stood before the king size bed, his forelegs already put as high as he could on the bed but still not high enough to reach the top. So he had no other choice to use his voice to get us out of our sleep.
I turned in the light on the bedside table and watched Genjirõ for a short moment before I realised that he might need to go out in the garden. Seijūrõ seemed still asleep and to not wake him up I slowly got into sitting position and was about to get out of bed but I didn't get any further than at the edge of the bed.
"You're not going out alone. Especially not at a time like this." A grim hoarse voice threatened behind me.
"But it's my dog after all. I should be the one who is responsible for it" I contered.
"If you're in a better condition then yes. But as you are right now I doubt you will even reach the garden" Seijūrõ eyed me skeptically.
"But..." "No but! Get back into bed. It's an order!" And then he walked out of the room, the small Genjirõ followed close behind him.
Discouraged and frustrated I lay down back into the warm bed and fell asleep even before both of them returned.
The following days and nights almost seemed to be repeated again and again. If Seijūrõ wasn't in school or busy with studying he was the one who took care of Genjirõ. I tried to refrain him of it but it always ended up in vain as he never left me room for arguments. Defeated I watched him training the puppy or feeding him. It seemed to me that I only could have time with Genjirõ alone when Seijūrõ was busy or absent.
A few days later I played a little bit with Genjirõ in the corridor while waiting for Seijūrõ as he insisted to bring me some fruits out of the kittchen.
"What a cute little boy you are, Genjirõ!" I ruffled his fur wildly. A joyous outcry came out of the small animal. Rapturously I ruffled his fur even more, more praises automatically were formed between my lips and sometimes I just called his name with a voice full a joy.
"Genjirõ" I called his name one more time and he replied with a pleased bark. Sitting near the door of the kitchen I could hear Seijūrõs footsteps wandering around in it but I was only paying attention to it with one ear as I was still focused on the little puppy before me.
"...rõ" The moment I repeated the puppy's name one more time Seijùrõ stepped out of the kittchen.
"Do you need something?" He asked.
"Nope" I answered without looking at him.
"But you called..." In the middle of the conversation came the realization. "Tch"
Not understanding the situation I turned around to Seijūrõ who was standing close, a dark gloomy aura surrounded him. His eyes were narrowed and fixed on Genjirõ as he was playing with the kittchen knife in his hand. From my point out he looked as if he was ready to kill someone... or more like the little puppy which had sense the change of atmosphere and were hiding behind me.
"S-seijūrõ? C-could you please stop staring at him with such a murderous expression? You startle him"
"Do I?" He titled his head slightly, which gave his expression a touch of madness.
"Y-yes!" I nodded vigorously. "You're scaring me too"
"Do I?" He asked again, not even irritated by my honest statement.
"Then let me speak a warning.
You better not give that thing more attention than me!"
Author's note
34th chapter ✔
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. To be honest I wasn't planning to input a pet at first but was inspired by the idea to a comment of the previous chapter. I hope it turned out well!?
T H A N K
Y O U
F O R
R E A D I N G
V O T I N G
A N D
C O M M E N T I N G
Until next time my lovely readers 😘