I ran towards home, one paw after the other as fast as I could. It had been a long night without Danny. When we got home from town- especially after ditching out on duties last night- he had to go scouting without me. I was still too rusty to run with the scouts, I could have ran with other members of the pack who weren't scouts, but I didn't feel like connecting with any of them tonight. So I took the night to myself, running up river mostly, because it was one of my favorite things to do; run through the river, hunt a few fish or a deer along the shore, bathe in the sparking water. I felt so free and alive that I had spent all night having fun, and I didn't realize how close to morning it had become. Even some of the hunters and scouts would be home already, maybe even my family.
I ran as fast as my four paws could take me, barely making the clearing before my wolf gave up on me. I painfully shifted back into my human form; I still had to get used to the feeling again. I found my shorts and top and threw them on. As I pulled my shirt on I thought I felt something or someone behind me, and pulled my head through my shirt quickly and turned on my heels in the direction I heard a small twig snap.
"Hello?" I called, thinking it may be Danny, but I got no reply. I stared into the still dark forest and tried to spot a person or animal, or whatever had made the noise, but saw nothing.
Feeling very tired I began to run as fast as my weak human legs could take me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly frightened. I knew running might make me look weak, but I reasoned this was all in my head and if I were around my family it would go away. I had been feeling someone was watching me before, but it only helped me reason it was just in my head.
"Coralie!" I heard Danny yell out for me as he ran from the front of the house- where he had left earlier to shift- towards me. I ran straight into his arms as I huffed and tried to catch my breath. "What's wrong? I felt your fear from miles away, I ran home as quick as I could-" he pushed my hair behind my ears as he checked my face. I shook my head.
"I- I don't know- I just- I spooked myself I guess..." I admitted, feeling silly.
"Are you sure? What happened?" He asked. I shook my head.
"I just- I thought I felt someone behind me, but when I looked no one was there..." I swallowed hard and he searched my eyes and sighed.
"Don't scare me like that." He hugged me close to his chest. "And don't worry, we've gained control over twice as much land since you were a scout, and we've kept our borders very strong, no one could ever hurt you. I would never let anyone hurt you..." He said quietly. I nodded as I hugged him as tightly as I could. I knew from his voice I had touched a sensitive chord by worrying him. He had seen his whole pack and family slaughtered in his early childhood, and I didn't think to not scare him like that when he had those memories to deal with.
"Come on, let's get you inside, get you some food." He said. I nodded and followed, but not before glancing back at the forest to make sure there was nothing there.
***********************************
I was laying on Danny's bed half napping half reading a book as he did homework- he only had a few packets left before getting his diploma- and then suddenly he dropped his pen. I looked at him, but he wasn't looking at me, he was just staring through the wall it seemed. I watched him for a moment, watched the small jerking motions in his pupils, the same motion that peoples eyes do when they are dreaming or remembering something. "Danny- baby- are you okay?" I asked. At first he didn't respond, but then he shook his head and looked up at me. When he smiled it wasn't genuine, it was forced, but he was trying to look happy; I could tell.
"Sorry love. I was- I was just lost in thought..." He said as he went back to his homework. I sighed and closed my book.
"What were you thinking about?" I asked softy, trying not to push him into talking about what made him seem so worried or thoughtful. He sighed, dropped his pen again, and rubbed his face with both hands, and then his hair as he leaned back into his chair.
His eyes fixed on the roof as he spoke quietly. "I was... I was thinking about... my mom... My family- my birth family..." He shook his head as he sighed again. I froze at that. I hadn't ever asked him about them, never even thought about bringing them up. I knew it was a touchy subject and wanted him to bring them up if he felt the need to. I guess now was that time.
"What- what were you thinking about them? Why were you thinking about them?" I asked quietly, trying to choose my words carefully.
"Just seeing you scared like that reminded me of the night they died... I don't talk about it much- at all really- but weeks before that I had felt someone watching our house and- and I never said anything because I was just a kid... I didn't think much of it... But seeing your fear reminded me of that same feeling..." He sighed. "I know it's not the same at all- I know our pack is much stronger here and that no one could get past us... But that fear in your eyes reminded me of it... Reminded me of that night my family..." He shook his head and then it hung over his seat as he sighed and looked directly up at the ceiling.
"Danny you don't have to worry about me, you're delta, my brother is beta, and my dad is Alpha... Nothing could go wrong." I promised him. He nodded.
"I know... But when you're a kid you have a sense of security around your family, and after that was ripped from me I never trusted that sense of security again..." he said quietly. "But I know we're strong- I know you're strong- so much stronger than... Than my mother... my family... But I fear losing you too..." He said quietly. "You're kinda like her, you know?" He chuckled sadly after saying it.
"Tell me about her Danny... Tell me about your family..." I asked. When I did his lip twitched up into a small smile.
"She was a beautiful woman Coralie- her name was Mary... She was sweet and gentle, it's hard sometimes to remember her face. I remember her eyes we're just like mine, and would glow with pride whenever she was around her children. She had long golden hair almost to her feet, and when she changed into a wolf her fur was white with the same dusty gold across her back... When she laughed everyone around her would laugh too, even if they didn't get the joke... And her voice was sweet like a song bird... She'd sing while she made me and my sisters breakfast-" he stopped and I ran to his side, he had suddenly started to cry and slouched over in his chair.
I hugged him as he let out a lot of the pain he must have been holding on to all of those years.
"I'm sorry Danny- I'm so sorry- and I'm sorry I abandoned you when you were going through so much pain- I never thought about how much hurt you were going through." I said, tears nearly escaping my own eyes. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes.
"It's not your fault... " he sniffled. "I told you- I understand- I just... I haven't talked about them to anyone but Dylan. Even then I never told him about them, just what happened so he could tell the council for me..." He sighed. "They were only three Coralie... My baby sisters... I miss them so much." He cried harder and hugged me to comfort himself. I ran my hands through his hair as he clung to my waist, almost like he was a child again, needing to feel weak and taken care of.
"Keep telling me about them- get it out, let someone know everything you can remember, so they can live on in your memories..." I said. He nodded and I grabbed his hand and sat him down on the bed.
His hands shook and I grabbed them as his eyes jotted across the floor as he remembered them.
"My- my sisters were triplets..." He began shakily, I could tell he was trying not to cry. "I never really knew my dad, he went rouge after my mom got pregnant with them- so it was just us. Me, my mom, and my sisters. I took care of them as best as I could while my mom hunted. They were the sweetest, quietest babies you've ever seen. They almost never cried, and when they did it was so quiet and sad that it would break your heart. My mom-" he stopped to chuckle, tears in his eyes, "- my mom let me name them, so I gave them all matching names; Lavander, Rose, and Violet, because they were all flowers my mom grew in her garden, and they were all different colors. It was always hard to tell them apart because they looked exactly alike with golden hair like my mom and blue eyes like my father, but they were so different, even as babies. Lavander was quiet and serious and would never let strangers pick her up without looking at mom for permission. Rose laughed and giggled all the time over nothing. And Violet was the tough tomboy who always wanted to play outside with me." He chuckled again and rubbed a stray tear away.
"I remember... I remember the night we were attacked we were having a party, we were a small pack, people of the forest, poor and off the grid, but happy... My mother was at a table cleaning up after the leaders of the pack when it happened... Wolves- wolves rushed the far end of the party, where one of the elders were watching over my sisters- at first- at first it was chaos and we heard screaming- I could hear my sisters' crying as I ran to my mother, but she yelled for me to run, and then my sisters screaming stopped- but others took their place- I tried to run to my mother... She screamed for me to run again, so I listened- I should have stayed, but I ran... My mother caught up to me a few minutes later, but she didn't have my sisters... No one was behind her... She ran and scooped me up in her arms, her bright eyes dull and filled with tears, her chest and face bleeding everywhere- all over me- leaving trails of it in pools- and then- and then she fell... I tried shaking her and waking her, but I knew even then she wasn't going to make it- she told me to run until I couldn't- to get away and never look back- that there was a strong pack a few miles away and that if I made it she would know I was safe... Her eyes closed and her breathing stopped and I ran from her in fear- not wanting to accept it. And then- then I heard a party in the distance- then I saw you... And I knew my mom was right- that I would be safe- because I had found you..." He cried freely into his hands now and shook his head as he trembled. There was no wolf anger coming from him- the way it tends to come from us when we are hurt- there was only the raw human emotion escaping him.
"And you are safe Danny- you're safe and you're with me- and I'll never let anyone hurt you-"
"You don't have to worry about me." He shook his head. "It's you I worry about- if anything were to happen to you I would have no one- you are my world Coralie... When you're alone- out there in the forest- if something were to happen to you I would never forgive myself- I couldn't." He stammered. I kissed the side of his head and hugged him.
"Danny no one could take me away from you..." I said reassuringly...
I had no idea what could- and would happen...