Jimin POV
The buzzing of the fluorescent lights, doors sliding open and shut, screams, cries moans, gasps, grunts/hisses of pain, people talking in low voices, intercom calling out codes/directions, squeaky wheelchairs, the clack of the keyboard, a low-volumed radio or TV, heavy...
The hospital waiting room is a circus of noises
A TV played quietly in one corner a drama of a happy couple playing with their kids, a distraction that might help others but I couldn't focus, I couldn't breathe or think about anything other than Yoongi.
He has been in surgery for three hours now with not a word from anyone. No matter how much of a scene I cause yelling and crying, demanding to know what was happening with my husband...
But nothing...
Once the ambulance got to us, they immediately went to work helping Yoongi. They said so many things I didn't understand it couldn't comprehend at the moment. My ears were buzzing, and I felt so empty and numb all over as they cut open his shirt seeing the bullet wound on his stomach, the blood painting his beautiful pale skin a crimson red.
The paramedics worked for me. A private ambulance under the Park industry. They took him to the nearest hospital. Rushing him into the emergency room, my men had to hold me back from chasing after him as I watch the emergency room doors slam shut.
Now I wait, tapping my foot on the ground and looking at my blood-stained hands that are shaking. I feel so scared, I feel so helpless and guilty about this whole situation.
I'm with Taehyung and Jungkook they are just as worried I know they are but I can't even speak to them. They are a couple of seats away from me in the waiting room holding hands tightly while sniffling. I wish I could hold someone's hand but I'm a coward and I feel so much guilt.
"Mr.Min?" I heard making me snap my head up and lift from my chair so fast I probably got whiplash.
I walked over to the doctor dressed in blue scrubs with some blood scattered on it. I approach holding back my tears holding back my anxiety and pain. I won't panic until I know what's wrong with him. "Y-Yes? That's me, is he okay?" I asked I know Taehyung and Jungkook are behind me but I continue to ignore them I can't focus on anything else at the moment.
The doctor pulled down his face mask and let out a sigh "He is stable" he said he looked tired but I was getting more and more upset.
"That doesn't answer my fucking question," I said clenching my fist "I-Is he okay?" I asked again
This doctor works for my family "The bullet entered his upper stomach and got stuck so we had to remove it. It nicked a couple of vital organs and that caused internal bleeding. We had to stop the bleeding and then patch him up" he let out a sigh and took off his surgical cap "He is in critical condition his heart is weak after losing so much blood but at the moment he is stable but very weak" he said and I felt my heart burn until it was nothing but ash in my chest.
It feels like the surrounding ground started to crumble to pieces like a huge sinkhole, it sucked me in. I started falling into darkness again. The sun is gone I destroyed it.
I felt hands grab me two pairs of hands on my arms. My knees almost gave out and the walls I built around my emotions broke and I started to sob loud in the middle of the waiting room.
The doctor keeps talking as I feel someone patting my back I assume it's Jungkook.
"We had to put him in an induced coma because his heart was too weak," the doctor said "He's in bad shape Mr.Min" he added "I'm sorry but we don't know when he will wake up or if he will wake up " he added
"What the hell does that even mean?!" I snapped at him suddenly my voice is the only thing you can hear in the waiting room now "This is a fucking hospital!! You're a doctor!! SAVE HIM!! I don't care about the cost!!! H-Heal him..." I yelled grabbing his collar.
"Jimin don't" Jungkook whispered pulling me back and making me let go of the doctor as he held me back I didn't have the strength to fight him.
"I can assure you we are trying everything we possibly can to help him...but he is in bad shape I don't want to lie, it's not looking good," he said I just pushed Jungkook off me.
I was crying so hard while aggressively wiping my eyes my head and heart were pounding painfully in my chest "C-Can I see him? Where is he?" I stutter out.
"Of course, he is in the ICU but one at a time," he said looking at all three of us
"Go Jimin," Taehyung said tapping my shoulder and I follow the doctor down the hallway.
Compared to the waiting room this walk to his room is eerily quiet. I could hear my shoes hitting the aluminum floor with each step. We kept making turns and it felt never-ending as we walked towards the ICU area of the hospital.
We reached a room and the doors were plexiglass windows. so I could see right through them. The sign on the door said critical condition but my heart dropped in my chest.
The doctor opened the door and I stepped inside the room. Yoongi was attached to a bunch of machines with tubes in his nose and wires attached to his body.
"I'll leave you two alone but be back to check the machines," the doctor said and quietly stepped out of the room.
I walked to his side and I felt tears prickly in my eyes. His heartbeat was slow based on the beeps of the heart machine and the slow rise of his chest.
"O-Oh my sunshine" I whispered feeling the tears drip down my cheeks "Yoongi...I'm so sorry" I cried and I felt my knees get weak, I grip the side of his bed too scared to touch him.
"I'm s-so fucking sorry" I sobbed quietly my tears falling onto his bed "I stole your light...I-I'm just a black hole that s-sucks up everything bright and g-good" I cried
I reached out and brushed the hair out of his face his cheeks were cold and pale. Not his usually warm and pink cheeks that look like he used cherry blossom petals as blush.
"My b-beautiful h-husband" I stuttered out and reach down to brush my fingers along his cheekbones "This is all my fault...why didn't you just let him shoot me" I choked out "Fuck!" I whispered and yelled "I'm so sorry," I said and kneeled on the ground in front of his bed.
I was bowing to him my forehead pressed against his bed "I'm so sorry, I couldn't keep you safe as I promised" I whispered
"P-Please be okay...I-I can't face this world without you my love" I murmured when I heard a knock on the door then it slides open and I quickly stand up to wipe my face.
In walks a nurse from earlier. She does a quick bow all dressed in surgical scrubs "Sorry to disturb but I have his personal belongings and I need to check the machines" she said I did a quick nod.
"O-Of course" I whispered as she handed me a plastic bag "Thank you" I added she bowed again and walked to the machines pressing buttons and writing stuff down "H-How is he? H-He is very pale and kinda cold?" I said
"He lost a lot of blood while in surgery and from his wound. His heart is having a hard time pumping like normal so that's why he is pale and a little cold" she said checking all the machines.
"Can we get him a blanket? He doesn't like the cold....maybe move him somewhere nicer for when he wakes up" I whispered.
She blinked at me and clicked her pen close and pulled down her mask "Of course sir, I'll be right back" she said and quietly left the room.
I finally look down at the bag in my hands it's a clear plastic bag with red writing all over it. I opened it up reaching inside.
It was his wallet, phone, wedding ring and a small card...with my name written on the front with a little blood spattered on it.
I have never seen this card before I didn't even know he had it or why he had it to begin with. I stare at the blue envelope with yellow moons and suns drawn on it feeling a tremendous ache and pain in my chest.
I quickly pocket the card not having the strength to even open it. I walked back over to his bed and lean down to give his forehead a soft kiss resting my forehead against his "Remember at our wedding? We promised...forever and always my sunshine" I said as tears slid down my cheeks.
"T-The sun doesn't need to die for the moon, do you hear me?..." I whispered "Don't leave me, my sun" I cried "The world will be in darkness...don't go" I added
☁️☀️☁️
Two days passed and Yoongi finally was moved out of the ICU and into a VIP suite at the hospital. His condition is still the same he has shown no signs of improvement but they said it was time to switch rooms.
He just lays in that hospital bed all the tubes and wires attached to him and four different machines helping him breathe or keeping his heart pumping normally.
The room was bright with the huge ceiling-to-floor windows and during the evening the sun will hit the room perfectly basking it in a warm orange glow. He would love the view and probably sit at the window nose pressed to the glass like a kid.
He loved laying in bed with the warm glow of the sun peeking through the window. The sun would hit his eyes, making them shine like two warm pools of honey. I would stare into them when we both woke up in the morning then he would press his face against my chest, his hair messy from sleep, poking my nose, his skin so soft and he smelled sweet like peaches.
I would do anything to see those brown eyes looking at me again. To smell his peach scent to hug him close to feel his breath against my neck.
A knock on the door made me look up and turn my head towards the door where Taehyung and Hoseok walked in. They looked just as exhausted as me, especially Taehyung he brings flowers each time he comes this time it's hydrangea.
"Hey, this room is nice. I'm glad he got out of ICU" Hoseok spoke softly
"His condition is still the same" I whispered leaning back in the chair as Taehyung placed the flowers on the table next to Yoongi's bed.
I see Taehyung lean down and whisper things to Yoongi while he brushes his hair back and kissed his forehead.
Hoseok walked over to me while Taehyung was with Yoongi "Boss...we can't wait any longer" he whispered but I just ignore him my eyes on Yoongi.
"Boss, you told us not to do anything without you but it's been two days and everyone is getting restless," He said I just rubbed my eyes. I have a huge headache and I haven't slept in two days.
"I don't give a fuck anymore Hoseok do whatever the hell you guys want" I murmured my emotions were all over the place little things were setting me off.
"So what? We hunt this guy for months, he kills our friend he kills our good men and we just shoot him and move on? He needs to pay...he shot Yoongi don't you want revenge?" Hoseok said
I bang my hand on the little metal table next to me it cluttered loudly "I FUCKING KNOW WHAT HE DID! BUT RIGHT NOW, NONE OF THAT SHIT MATTERS TO ME!!!" I snapped and shot to my feet "All that matters to me is him" I said pointing at Yoongi "I'm not leaving his side until he wakes up I'm not leaving this hospital so no I don't give a fuck about Kinn anymore. Do whatever you want to him" I said my chest heaving up and down.
Hoseok looked upset and stormed out of the room. I didn't care none of this mattered to me because without Yoongi my life didn't matter anymore.
"Jimin" I heard Taehyung say it was soft, his voice so I looked at him he was next to Yoongi's bed "His mom...she has been calling me, saying she can't get a hold of either of you" Taehyung whispered.
"I-I can't talk to her right now," I said aggressively shaking my head "I'll talk to her myself when I know he is okay" I added I feel a tightness in my chest at the idea of talking to his mother.
I can't tell her what I did to her son again, how his life is in danger again because of me.
I walked over to his bedside Taehyung was on the other side as we spoke "Did you read the letter?" He asked me and in these few days Taehyung is the only one I can talk to, I told him about the letter.
"No I haven't...I'm scared to read his words to read his thoughts" I murmured and brushed my fingers through his hair "It might completely break me...what if those are his last words," I said
"I still think you should...maybe it will comfort you," He said with a shrug "I'm gonna go find Hoseok and head back...call me if something happens," he said patting my shoulder "And get some sleep please?" He added and walked out of the room.
I looked at the three vases of flowers all bright and colorful then back at Yoongi "You have a good friend..." I murmured
☁️🌤️☁️
They sent in heavy artillery this time around when my friends decided to visit again. I kinda expect it though because they were right about this. I had to handle this situation before Yoongi woke up. Once he did I wanted to whisk him away from everything and wrap him in bubble wrap.
So when Seokjin and Hoseok were in the room after my shower I wasn't surprised at all.
"Jimin we need to talk," Seokjin said I just hummed and walked over to the couch and plopped down while drying my hair.
"I know why you are here" I sighed and tossed the towel on the couch, rubbing at my face "I can't leave the hospital," I said not looking at my friends but at my husband "I can't leave him..." I said
"This is for him Jimin," Seokjin said "That fucking bastard shot me and tried to shoot Jungkook, he tortured Hoseok and Taehyung...he killed Namjoon," He said looking at Yoongi then me "He did this to Yoongi" he spoke and I felt my fist clench.
"I fucking know what he did" I snapped "I wanna rip his head off with my bare hands, but I won't leave Yoongi here alone...what if he wakes up and gets scared? I have to be here" I said
"I knew you would say that so.." Hoseok said as Taehyung walked into with flowers in his hands and placed them next to the others. This time it was daffodils "Taehyung will stay with him" He added
"I-I can't just, do it without me," I said but Taehyung walked over to me and gently slapped me in the back of the head "What the fuck?" I hissed
"Stop with sob stories, you and I both know that he would be so upset seeing you like this...t-that boy has the bigger heart and he loves so deeply about everyone in his life," Taehyung said looking at Yoongi and let out a sigh "I'll watch over him and I promise to send you text updates," he said but I shook my head "I promise Jimin," he said more seriously this time.
I walked over to Yoongi's bedside and bent down to kiss him on the forehead then turned back towards Taehyung "Updates every 30 minutes or I will come charging back in here" I said
He put his hands up and nodded "Yes Sir" Taehyung hummed "Go be big mafia Jimin again" he said
I rolled my eyes as I went and grabbed my hoodie from the chair and slipped it on "Let's fucking kill this roach" I said and stepped out of the hospital room with Seokjin and Hoseok trailing behind me.
"What are you planning boss?" Hoseok asked me once we got into the car. I sat back in the car watching the world fly by as we drive.
"Arson" I whispered
🌧️🌤️🌧️
We pulled up to an old barn. The farm on which the barn was located was abandoned. The weeds and grass were very overgrown and unkept not to mention the bugs were everywhere.
"What the fuck is this dump?" I spoke as we stepped out of the car.
"Old abandoned farm, thought it was a good place to get this done it's far from the city off the grid," Seokjin said as we approached the huge door
Inside wasn't what I expect, it looked like the roof was about cave in and crush us all. There were pieces of old wood and scapes of metal scattered around. It smelled like dirt and horse shit and more importantly, Kinn was sitting in the middle tied to a pole, gagged and beaten.
I saw some of my best men standing around him but what caught me off guard was Jungkook.
"What the hell is he doing here? Jungkook you shouldn't be here and not to mention you haven't visited Yoongi" I said I wasn't angry at the younger. I thought he would come to visit his good friend but after the first day, I haven't seen his face.
"I couldn't stop him from coming" Seokjin whispered as we walked further into the barn.
"I wanna be here I have to be here..." Jungkook said but I wasn't haven't it.
"No, I'll have someone take you home or to the hospital to see Yoongi. This isn't a place for you and you shouldn't see what is gonna happen here" I said to him but he scoffed.
"I'm not a fucking child! I'm a grown-ass man I'm the same age as Yoongi and Taehyung and I'm sick of people treating me like a child like I'm so fragile" he snapped "I'm gonna stay here and see this bastard die myself" he hissed
I signed and rubbed at my eyes my gaze quickly looking at Seokjin he looks like he has heard this before "Fine, let's get this over with" I said putting my hands into my pocket as I walked closer to Kinn.
He has a black eye, cuts, and bruises. He just stared at me like he didn't have a care in the world like he was accepting his fate at this point.
"Pour the gasoline boys," I said and that's when Jongho and Mingi started to pour gasoline all over Kinn making the barn now smell and it was giving me a bigger headache.
I walked closer carefully not to get any gasoline on my shoes. I pulled out his gag and he let out a gasp his lip was bloody "Jimin good to see you" he choked out with some coughs "Your monkeys here weren't that confident you were gonna show" he chuckled weakly.
He didn't seem scared that he was covered in gasoline. I guess he knew this was coming, I would be the same way if I was in his situation no point in fighting letting them see you weak.
I grabbed his chin and squeezed it digging my nails into his skin, he let out a hiss and locked eyes with me "Still so fucking cocky until your last moments?" I whispered
"That's what our fathers taught us right?" He murmured. He looked me up and down "How is he? Did he die?" He asked and I felt rage take over my body.
I grabbed his collar and punch him twice in the face "YOU!!" I said and punched him again "DON'T GET TO ASK ABOUT HIM!" I snapped and let him go "Give me the fucking lighter" I yelled and I immediately felt it being pressed into my palm.
Kinn spit some blood on the floor and looked up with a bloody face and nose "I-I didn't mean to shoot him...I talked a lot of shit but...he was good I was never gonna kill him" he whispered with blood dripping from his mouth his words caught me off guard "He reminded me a lot of Porche...kind to everyone when everyone around him was bad" he murmured but I scoffed.
"Don't fucking talk about him! He is where he is right now because you shot him! You put your dirty hands and mouth all over him while he screamed for you to stop! So don't talk about him like you care about him! You didn't deserve his kindness" I spat
"If I regret one thing...just one in my life it's hurting him when he didn't deserve it" Kinn murmured "He has one thing me and you don't have and that's what draws both of us to him...Empathy. I was terrible to him but he still showed me kindness in the end" I couldn't stand to hear this anymore I wanted to be with Yoongi again.
"Let's get this fucking over with" I hissed and clicked the lighter on the flame dancing in front of me.
I stood in front of Kinn he wasn't looking at me his eyes on the ground as my men stood behind me.
I looked at him and I smelled the gasoline in the air. I heard Kinn's rapid breathing maybe he was scared but covered it up well.
"J-Just do it...get it over with, I wanna be with him again..I-I wanna hold him in my arms again" he whispered so softly I was probably the only one to hear it.
My head was pounding and my heart was aching in my chest...I clicked off the lighter and put my arm down.
"I can't do it...Yoongi didn't want this" I spoke shaking my head "This isn't me anymore..." I said
"Just dump him somewhere far...this is over now," I said quietly "Yoongi was right...no more death," I said but as the words left my mouth. I was shoved so hard out of the way that I fell to the ground and the lighter was ripped from my hands.
"Jungkook no!" I heard someone yell it was probably Seokjin.
Jungkook clicked the lighter on and the flame danced in front of his eyes. He had a dark look in his eyes and I'd seen this look before then his gaze moved to Kinn "Maybe one more death" Jungkook said then he threw the lighter at Kinn.
It all happened so fast
All the gasoline must have soaked into his clothes because he lit up so fast. The flames blossomed into the air like holy fire.
"THAT'S RIGHT BURN YOU FUCKER!!" Jungkook snapped
"NAMJOON WAS A GOOD PERSON!! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" He yelled as he was getting closer to the flames Seokjin went started to hold him back as Jungkook tried to break free.
Kinn was screaming in pain as the flames traveled up his body.
"YOU KILLED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL FOR IT!" Jungkook yelled so loud as he tried to break free from Seokjin's hold.
"YOU DIDN'T DESERVE YOONGI HYUNG KINDNESS!! AND YOU DONT DESERVE TO WALK ON THIS EARTH WHILE NAMJOON IS LAYING IN A FREEZER" he snapped
There was so much chaos going around me Jungkook and Kinn's howls of pain. Seokjin tried to calm him down, but my head was pounding so hard I felt like throwing up.
The smell of burnt flesh made my stomach curdle.
Jungkook shoved Seokjin off him and walked over to me picking me up by the collar off the ground "Sometimes Yoongi doesn't get whatever he wants this story isn't only about him" Jungkook said looking me dead in the eyes "Don't be fucking weak Jimin" he added and let go of my collar.
He lets go of me "I'll be in the car" he added and walked out of the barn.
The flames grew as Seokjin and Hoseok rushed to my side "Boss we have to get out of here" Hoseok said as we all quickly hurried out of the barn.
Once we stood outside watching the old barn burn into flames "He...he sounded like my dad" I whispered this caused both my friends to look at me.
"Just like him," I said looking at them and then at the burning barn
At least it all over
🌧️🌤️🌧️
What happened at the barn was on my mind a lot but once I got back to the hospital and saw my beautiful husband all pale and fragile...I was glad Jungkook did what he did he ended this whole thing he put the blood on his hands so I didn't have to.
I didn't have time to think about Kinn or Jungkook anymore after that again because...
Yoongi's health was declining
It happened 3 weeks after the accident, his condition was the same for those three weeks the same routine every day. The sun rises and the nurses come in and check all machines they change his IV and tubes, and they check his vitals it's always the same.
Until one night it was around 10 pm. I was sleeping on a rollaway bed and by sleeping I mean laying there probably only getting two hours of sleep.
An alarm went off in the room along with the sound of the heart monitor flatlining. All the loud sounds echoed in the room. I shot up from my bed to my feet stumbling over to his bed and seeing him have a seizure and I felt my heart plummet in my chest.
"HELP! SOMEONE HELP!" I yelled out
Suddenly the door burst open and a team of nurses and doctors rush into the room. They started to talk in medical terms and I couldn't understand.
"He is having a myocardial infarction," one said as they all worked on him
"Quick he is coding," another said
"W-What's happening? He was just f-fine! What's wrong!" I cried out the sound of a heart monitor was buzzing he was flatlining.
"Sir you need to leave," a nurse said but that pissed me off even more.
"I'm not going anywhere! What the hell is happening!! He is dying!!" I cried out
"Sir! Please we are trying to help but you need to leave you are distracting the doctors from helping" the nurse said again.
They brought out the Defibrillators and ripped open his shirt "CLEAR" one doctor yelled and they shocked him
But still nothing
"CLEAR!" He yelled again and gave him another shock to the chest it made his whole body bounce up. It was a terrifying sight.
Nothing again...
"HELP HIM! HE IS DYING" I sobbed "Please! please help him please!" I cried
I see the doctors check the heart monitor and the machines.
"Again! CLEAR" They said and shocked him for a third time.
Then...the heart monitor starts to beep slowly again. His heart started to beat again and so did mine.
"He is stable," The doctor said as he let out a tired breath.
"What the fuck happened!" I said pushing through the crowd of nurses "He was just fine a few hours ago! T-Then he suddenly has a heart attack?" I said so very confused and scared.
"He had a seizure which caused a heart attack," He said "We don't know the cause yet we have to run some tests and check his vitals," he said
"I-Is he okay?" I said
"At the moment he is stable but his heart did stop for about 4 and a half minutes," I said
"H-His heart? Did it stop? Like he...did h-he?" I couldn't ask the question I could finish my sentence.
"Yes but luckily we revived him in time we will run some tests to see what caused the heart attack and seizures," he said
☁️⛅️☁️
Four more weeks passed and Yoongi's condition has gotten worse he had another heart attack and two more seizures. His heart is failing is what the doctor is telling me it can't stand on its own.
I can't sleep at all anymore, I'm terrified to even close my eyes because I'm scared something might happen to him if I do. That I might miss something or he might have another seizure. Even when I do sleep my nightmares torture me even more.
I keep seeing Yoongi getting shot over and over again. I see him fall to the ground bleeding everywhere I hear him crying out in pain.
"Whatcha looking at?" I heard and it snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned away from the huge windows to see Taehyung standing there with a bouquet of buttercups.
He set them down to the one he got last time and went over to Yoongi and brushed the hair out of his face.
"Ah nothing...lost in thought" I whispered and moved to sit down on the couch letting out a sigh and rubbing my sleepy eyes "The flowers are pretty today," I said
"I know I have an amazing taste" he hummed and was looking at Yoongi's machines
Taehyung visits are actually something I look forward to. He reminds me a lot of Yoongi at times.
"You picked Hoseok so I don't know about that" I hummed leaning back in the coach and the next thing I know I was being pinched in the arm as Taehyung plopped down next to me on the coach.
"Don't talk about my man like that" he huffed crossing his arms and leaning back "You look like shit" he said and it made me chuckle a little.
"Wow thanks," I said my gaze moving back to Yoongi.
"You need to take care of yourself Jimin and that means eating regular meals and sleeping at least six hours," He said sitting up "Jimin seriously what was the last thing you ate?" He asked me but I just shrugged.
"I think I had a cracker yesterday...I don't remember it was around when Yoongi was getting his IV's changed" I said and as the words left my mouth I see Taehyung tossing me a triangle kimbap.
"Eat that and don't talk back to me," he said and the room was quiet while I munch on the kimbap it was spicy tuna and it was kinda delicious.
"Thanks, Tae..." I murmured he just hummed and fiddled with his hands with his eyes on Yoongi the sounds of the machines always filling the room.
"You know...when you two started dating like right in the beginning" Taehyung whispered a small smile on his face "He would get so excited and giggly each time you texted him...or just go on and on about how your eyes sparkled in the moonlight and your lips were as sweet as cotton candy" he chuckled throwing his head back as he remembered "When he realized he was in love with you...my god did he get so sappy and nervous, as he told us he fell in love with you when you two were eating grilled cheese under the stars" he sighed "God he loves you...so that's why sometimes after we both found out the truth about your job he made me promise something to him wouldn't let me leave until I pinky swore," he said
"Promise what?" I asked
Taehyung looked up at me then over at Yoongi and let out a sigh "He made a promise that if anything happened to him...that I would take care of you" He said and this was brand news to me. I didn't know Yoongi and Taehyung had this conversation.
"H-He what...?" I said and looked over at Yoongi letting out a shaky breath but I felt my heart ache with a dull and hurtful pain. I shot to my feet my hands in the air "Why the hell did he make that promise? W-Was he planning on t-throwing himself in front of a bunch of bullets...he always acts so recklessly!" I snapped at "I had my vest on! I would have been fine! W-Why don't he always throw himself into the fire to s-save me?! Why doesn't he always risk himself ...to protect a weak pathetic man like me " I sobbed
I felt arms wrap around me. I didn't even know my knees gave out and I fell to the floor weeping like a damn baby. "What are you even talking about right now? Don't you know your husband by now?" He huffed and grabbed my shoulders so he could look at me "He is one stubborn and selfless son of bitch who would throw himself into the fire to save the one he loves...to save the man he loves more than anything in this universe" he said and wiped my tears with his sleeve "I made a promise to my best friend that day to protect the man he loves when he can't and I will fucking not break that promise to him" he said and pulled me up by the collar "Now wipe your eyes and dry your tears and put on your big boy undies and eat a proper meal and get some damn sleep. I'll stay awake and watch over Yoongi just in case something happens" he whispered and patted my head "You're not alone Jimin...e-even if this ends in the worst possible outcome, you still won't be alone" He said
I did exactly what he said, I stood up and wiped my eyes and dried my tears then I straightened my back and puffed out my chest. I started to leave the room to get something from the vending machine.
But I stopped at the door and looked back at Taehyung.
"Hey...I'm sorry for you know" I whispered he looked up at me.
"For what?" He asked
"For punching you...for letting Hoseok get taken, for coming into your guy's life...and for everything else I fucked up" I whispered but he just shrugged.
"You didn't fuck everything up," he said and looked down at Yoongi and held his limp hand "I don't think you did and I know he doesn't either. I forgive you...for everything Jimin," he said
☁️🌥️☁️
It happened a few days later.
Yoongi's primary doctor asked me to visit his office after they finished Yoongi's routine. I knocked on the door of the office and cracked it open.
"Hello, Mr. Park please come sit down," he said and I stepped into the office and sat down in the red leather chair.
"What is this all about?" I asked
He was clicking stuff on his computer then let out a sigh and turned it around "This is an MRI scan of Mr.Min from two months ago" he said pointing at his screen with his pen "His heart and organs were under stress and showed some signs of Organ dysfunction but we had some hopes of recovery" he said
Then he clicked a button on his computer and another picture popped up "This is An echocardiogram of Mr. Min's heart" he sighed and pointed at a red part "See the different between the two scans? His heart in retrospect is shrinking because of lack of blood flow to this part of the heart" he said "When Mr. Min got shot the bullet hit an artery. Which caused internal bleeding and when we did emergency surgery we patched him up and stopped the bleeding but the damage to the artery was still done and had been causing complete organ failure" he said I already knew this information I was well aware of everything going on with my husband but the never-ending ache in my chest hasn't gone away.
"You're telling me shit I already know? What is this all about?" I huffed "This hospital isn't working anymore maybe a Doctor in America has flown over here to look at him" I added about to get up and leave.
"Mr. Park your husband has been rapidly declining in his health since he arrived at this hospital," he said and that paused my movement and I sat back down in the chair "He isn't been improving the test we have done, show his heart is very weak and can't pump enough blood into his body without the help of the machines" he added.
"He is dying Mr.Park and expect it to be soon a few months until his heart stops beating completely," he said and those words echoed over and over again in my head.
"N-No...he can't be," I said shaking my head as tears glossed over my eyes "I'll g-get him an n-new heart a brand new o-one," I said panicking and I felt like I was drowning like cement was filling my lungs and dragging me down.
"That won't help Mr.Park, even if he gets a new heart his other organs are failing as well," he said letting out a breath "We have tried everything thing we can to help him but nothing has worked," he said
My head was pounding so hard and it felt like I was being pulled down to the depths of hell and was facing my worst nightmare.
He slides a pamphlet across his desk "This is a program the hospital provides" he said and tapped the pamphlet gently "It's called Helping Angels" he said "It's services we provide to take the patients off life support and help the family with this difficult time" he said
I looked at the pamphlet the weight in my chest getting worse and worse "Y-You want...Do you want to kill him? Y-You want to pull the plug?!" I snapped standing to my feet "YOU WANT TO KILL HIM? HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT TO ME" I cried out picking up the pamphlets ripping them in half and slamming my hands "You an idiot! Do your damn job and help him!" I snapped but the doctor didn't flinch at all maybe because while I was yelling I was sobbing uncontrollably.
"He is in pain Mr.Park, even in his unconscious state the pain of his body total failing is still present," he said "This isn't about you anymore Mr.Park it's about your husband...don't you wanna stop his pain? He will go peacefully he is fighting a losing battle," he said
"He is in p-pain?" I asked and the doctor nodded slowly
"Each heart attack he feels and each seizure" he replied "His brain is sleeping but his body feels everything," he said and pulled out another pamphlet "Think it over but I believe Mr.Min has until October," he said
I picked up the pamphlet and looked it over, crushing the paper in my hands.
☁️🌥️☁️
I rushed back to his hospital room and threw the pamphlet across the room. I couldn't breathe right my chest was heaving up and down with rapid breaths. I was having a break down I couldn't breathe and my head never stop hurting the pain is pounding against my skull.
The words the doctor said echoed over and over again like a broken record in my head.
"He is dying"
"He is dying"
"He is dying"
"NO, HE ISN'T!" I yelled and punched a nearby wall my fist going right through the wall the plaster going everywhere.
"Jimin!" I heard in the distance but it was drowned by the ringing in my ears.
I punched two more holes in the wall I just wanted to destroy the hospital. They couldn't save him and I was boiling with anger and I couldn't decide where to point my fury.
I was pulled away from the wall as strong wrapped around me pulling me away from my destruction.
"Let me go!!" I yelled as my knees gave out and me and the person holding me collapsed to the ground.
"Jimin, calm down. Remember to breathe in and out" I heard and I immediately recognized the voice
It was Seokjin
"H-Hyung" I cried out to him and he just held me tighter as I uncontrollably sobbed in his arms like a child "H-Hyung" I sobbed
He hushed me and ran his hands up and down my arm "Breath Jiminie, you need to concentrate on your breathing and calm down for Hyung" he said I turned in his hold to face him.
"H-He is dying! They told me he is going to die soon! They want m-me to sign off on pulling the plug on him!" I snapped trying to break free of his hold but he didn't let me slip away he held my arms.
"Okay, we can talk about this but you need to relax, your shaking," he said "Remember to count your breathes you are having a panic attack," He said "Please Jimin you know I hate seeing you like this so please," he said and I closed my eyes and counted my breaths
Once I was steadily breathing. I opened my eyes again and I looked around the room seeing my friends.
"Here is some water" Jungkook said handing me a bottle they were all sitting on the floor around me.
I took small sips "What did the doctor say Jimin?" Taehyung asked me softly. I just pointed at the crumbled-up pamphlet on the floor.
Taehyung reached over to grab it, his eyes scanning over the words. I saw the same look I had grow on his face.
"They said his heart is shrinking, It can't pump blood throughout his body on its own. It's causing total organ failure...he is dying...a-and he is in pain" I said looking over at my husband "He is suffering...I'm so goddamn selfish and greedy I'm sitting here not a scratch on me. While he is in pain everyday" I whispered
Jungkook kneels next to me and rubs my back he has tears in his eyes "It's been three months h-hyung...m-maybe the doctor is right? He hasn't moved or had any improvement...I-I don't think he is gonna wake up" he murmured
"Did you and Yoongi ever talk about this situation? About what you would do?" Hoseok asked me softly.
I shook my head "W-We didn't..." I whispered
I moved to hold my knees while rocking back and forth as we all sat around each other.
"I-I can't lose him...I-I don't think I can let h-him go" I whispered hanging my head low "If he dies, I'll die with him..." I spoke up
"J-Jimin don't say that," Taehyung said hand on my knee.
"H-How am I supposed to j-just" I huffed and waved my hands around with tears in my eyes "L-Live my life w-without him? G-Go to sleep in our bed, Wake u-up without his face n-next to mine...w-we we're g-gonna start a family. W-We wanted to h-have a b-baby.." I cried as tears flowed down my cheeks "H-He is m-my husband the l-love of my life...what the h-hell do I have left in my s-sad, pathetic life if the light of my life is g-gone" I murmured looking at my wedding ring and fiddling with it.
"I can n-not continue in this life without him by m-my side...I-I don't want to" I murmured "If his heart stops beating so will mine from utter and complete heartbreak" I spoke "I-I can't lose the only person who ever made me feel loved...he would just s-smile at me and I would...I-I would feel like the luckiest man in the world that he loves me, a horrible monster of a human got the love of someone as bright and beautiful as him..." I murmured rubbing at my chest where I feel my heartbreak "I can't stand in this world without him...I-I just can't" I added
"You can't talk like this Jimin" Taehyung spoke up he sounded angry "If you do that then...his death would be for nothing all the pain and suffering he went through would have been for nothing," he said and grabbed my hand to make me look at him.
"Y-Yoongi wouldn't want to be living in this state, suffer day after day...we both know that," he said and hugged me "I-I don't wanna lose him either but...we might have to let him go...he is in pain Jimin" he cried and I hugged him back "W-W has to...save him this time...a-and let him go" he cried
"I don't know what to T-Taehyung" I sobbed out "I don't k-know what to do without him" I cried
☁️🌙☁️
After everyone left the hospital I was alone in the dark of the hospital room with Yoongi.
The city lights were shining in through the window with the busy streets below going on with their own business and lives. While I was deciding whether I should take my husband off life support or not.
I sat in a chair next to his bed and grab his hand while gently caressing. His skin was kinda cold and dry not usually the warm and smooth skin I'm used to.
My eyes move to his face seeing his usually pink and round cheeks are pale and sunken in. He has wires and tubes all hooked up to him. Those machines keep him alive, they keep his heart beating but each time he is in pain.
I bend down and kiss his forehead softly then I press my forehead against it. He usually smells sweet like vanilla or sweet peaches but right now he smells like the chemical soap the nurses use when they wipe him down.
My tears fall onto his face and I give him one more kiss on his forehead then his cheek.
I pull back and reach into my pocket pulling out the blue envelope with the little doodles over it. It's been in my wallet since I found it. I've been too chicken to even open it.
Dear Jimin
If you're reading this, then it means you did it! You saved us Jimin. The darkness that was torturing us both has finally cleared and the sky is blue again. I knew you could do it Jimin you are my hero, always there to protect me because no matter what, I feel the safest when I'm in your arms.
If you're looking for me right now, I'm definitely in the kitchen making a delicious breakfast for us both. We are celebrating our win and we are celebrating our new lives together.
The past is the past Jimin and I want to forget it completely. I don't want to remember all the dark memories. I want to move on forward with you.
I want to renew our wedding vows and start over with you. Somewhere far, far away, where we can start a family together, get a cute new house with a playground in the backyard and a garden where we can plant vegetables and flowers. Maybe even a tree house! Or maybe a kitten!
Hehe, I got excited for a second thinking about our new future together. A new future I want to build with you by moonlight.
I know the story of the moon and the sun ends sadly, but our story won't end the same. We will be together in this big, scary universe forever.
I love you Jimin
Sincerely, Min Yoongi
After I read that letter I decided to do something I have never done before because I didn't know what to do anymore... I was lost in my decision.
I got down on my knees and place my hands in front of my face and did something I have never done before.
I prayed
I prayed to whoever was listening, I prayed to whatever higher power was up there
I prayed to anyone to bring my Yoongi back to me.
I prayed for his heart to heal
I prayed for the sun to come back.
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Hello, you are almost at the end!! How are you feeling? Do you have tears in your eyes? I'm sorry the outcome wasn't what you wanted.
Also, I made up all the medical bullshit. I have no idea about anything. I wrote all the hospital stuff I made up while I wrote!!
So don't fact-check me
ily 💝