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In consideration, I should be glad
I've got more love than I could have asked for
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Chapter 96
Harry's Pov.
I could bite my tongue better than anyone these days. However, sitting across from these two rich and entitled assholes while they plead their case to my girl is having me taste the blood from my tongue.
"I hear you, but you're still not explaining why you left me there." Renny got straight to the point, my hand rubbing her thigh, letting her know i'm right here and can shut this shit down at anytime if she needs me to.
Her sad excuse for a biological mother looked like she didn't want to say.
"We didn't know we were having twins." She said quietly and Renny just sat, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't. "Okay?" Ren questioned and I slowly understood the simple excuse for such a big fuck up.
"You weren't prepared. You didn't want two kids." I spoke, for the first time since we got here. "No it...it wasn't that. It was just..."
I was right...and I fucking hated that in this moment.
"And what was the deciding factor between us?" She asked with a snip to her voice, but I already knew the answer.
"Legacy." I answered. "A sad excuse for one, but one nonetheless. You wanted a boy to carry on your name."
I came to realize shortly after hiring Liam to race, and much before finding out he was Renny's brother, that his family owned many business's in Northern England.
"So stability wasn't the issue."
Liam looked at her with confusion but no one else did.
"How did you know what the record said?" Renae asked her daughter. "Because I had some very rough friends who did very nice things for me. Some of those things you'd probably be thrilled to hear about. Which one do you wanna hear first, how I attempted robbery before I was even a teen or how I was a drug addict for a while? Both are equally as amusing."
I tightened my hand on Renny's thigh, not liking her comment about it being amusing. Her overdosing is anything but amusing.
"Or, we can talk about how I got shot at my foster home. That one's pretty wild too. Daddy dearest was the one to do it too. Classic, right? Well, maybe not in your world but you not only dropped me off at an orphanage, you dropped me off at the shittiest one in Queens. I was bound to end up the way I did."
Renaes eyes were glossy while Lewis looked away.
"But you know what? While I never want any type of relationship with you, I do want to say thank you. I met one of my favorite people in the world through being an orphan and he helped me more than anyone ever had at that point. I've lived with him ever since and he's kept me alive more than my own blood relative parents ever cared to. So thank you for that."
Mick.
I kept rubbing her thigh and she let her hand go down and wrapped it around mine.
It's time to go.
"Liam, I don't blame you. It's not your fault and I don't want you to think I ever blame you. And truthfully...I forgive you both." She looked at the man and woman sitting in front of her and smiled.
"I helped create the best family I ever could've asked for and i'm with someone who I only ever could've fucking dreamed of...and if you had kept me, I wouldn't have any of this. And that, that would be the real shame."
I slid my chair back and nodded at them and she smiled.
"I'm going to go. I forgive you both and it's really no need to dread on it. Let's all forget about it because no matter what dna says...i'm not your daughter. Don't feel a guilt for someone who truly isn't anything to you."
She hugged Liam and pulled my hand as we walked out, me getting the valet to grab my car.
"Hey...look at me."
She blew out an anxious breathe and looked at me.
"You did so good baby. So fucking good." "I'm so happy you came home. I would've freaked out and wouldn't have been able to say anything if you weren't here."
I wrapped her up in my arms at how much she refers to 'home' as a place where we're together. She never refers to mine or her place in specific when she says home...just us.
"Do you really have to stay at yours tonight?" I whispered, my lips hitting hers. "I promised Cy i'd go with him in the morning so...I need to be there."
I slowly nodded but I felt nothing but dread as I thought about sleeping in my bed alone. I've been gone for days sleeping in hotel beds alone but sleeping in our bed alone, it's torture.
So she left in a car I called and I went to mine.
* * *
I saw Renny walk out of the bedroom, carrying all of her things as a man grabbed them and took them downstairs.
"Renny?" I whispered as she looked anywhere but at me. "Renny." I said louder as I watched her take away any sign of herself from my bedroom, our bedroom.
"What are you doing?" "I can't do this anymore Harry. Everything is so fucking hush with you. So quiet and secretive and I just...I cannot do it. I'm leaving."
My heart fell to the floor and I could hear it shatter.
"Leaving me?"
She nodded as a tear slipped down her cheek.
"No. Renny, no! Stop fucking packing. You are not leaving me."
I grabbed the clothes in her hands and threw them on the bed.
"Stop Harry! I've been with your for years and nothing has ever changed. I'm done. I've thought about it for too fucking long. My mind is made up. I'm leaving."
Her voice was stern and even though there were tears on her face, I could see how serious she was about this decision.
"No Renny, please. I tell you everything, you know I do-" "That doesn't matter! Everything you do is a secret. It's like I can't even talk about my life with you to anyone because it's all such a secret or it's illegal or it could get you in trouble, i'm done. I want a life Harry. A real life."
A real life. That fucking hit me in the gut.
"So what we have hasn't been a real life to you?" I was holding back my own tears at this point. "Of course it has but it's been more of one for you. I can't even talk to anyone about anything Harry. I feel so alone."
That one had a tear escaping my eye.
"You feel alone?" I whispered and she just wiped her tears and handed some boxes to a moving guy that had walked in again.
"Yes...I do. I love you Harry but this is hard for me. I want to feel more free than this. I'm sorry." "I love you Renny, please don't do this. I'll change every single thing you don't like. I will change, please Renny don't do this."
I was panicking and she could see it. I always notice when she sees my anxiety because she looks away as if it pains her.
She loves me. I know she does. Why is she doing this?
She started walking away as I pleaded and cried at her to please not leave.
"I can't do this baby, please. Please..."
I woke up with sweat covering my skin and heavy breathes, immediately sitting up.
"Renny." I whispered to myself but as I looked at the empty spot beside me, I remembered she stayed at her place tonight.
She doesn't feel like that does she? That's just my anxiety and a stupid fucking dream right? Right?
I groaned in frustration at the high heart rate that isn't calming down.
She doesn't want to leave me right? Fuck, I need to talk to her.
I looked at my phone, reading 2am. Shit.
I shot her a text anyways, hoping it wouldn't wake her if she's asleep but also hoping she was awake.
"are you awake ?"
I went and splashed cold water on my face to try and calm me the fuck down but it's hard to watch the person you love most leave you and say she feels lonely when she's with you and not wonder if deep down she actual feels that way.
I heard my phone ring and basically sprinted to my bedside and grabbed it, seeing her calling.
Fuck yes.
"Hey baby." I breathed in relief. "Hey there night owl."
I chuckled and sat in my bed again.
"Are you okay?" She asked softly.
Talk to her Harry. Not everything has to be secretive.
"I had a fucked up dream and I wanna be with you right now." I admitted and she immediately responded. "Come over. Sleep with me."
I melted at the offer.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to offer-" "Baby, shut up. We've been at this for a long time. Just come over. The last thing I feel is obligated."
I smiled to myself and hummed.
"You sure you don't just want dick?" "Harry!" She laughed and I smiled at the sound. "It's okay if you do. I just want to sleep with you but i'll always give you dick if you want." "Yeah yeah, just hurry up. But be safe. Don't speed." "Mhm, see you soon baby."
I hung up and slipped on sweats and headed downstairs. I arrived at her apartment in not very long because contrary to her wishes, I did speed. The anxiety of the drive made me think back to the dream and what it could've meant.
She left the front door open so I locked it behind me and strolled into her room, seeing her curled up with her eyes shut but they opened when she heard me enter.
"You're a sight for sore eyes." I smiled and she tried to hide her own. "You saw me a few hours ago." "Yeah and then I had a dream you were fucking leaving me."
I took off my sweats, leaving me in my briefs before climbing into bed and her concerned face had her pulling me close while she latched onto me.
"Wait what?" She softly asked. "You can talk to people about your life with me right? You don't feel like it's all secretive anymore do you?" "You run the biggest casino on the East Coast, people know way before I tell them." "I know but...you don't feel like our life is more mine than yours right? Like you can talk to people about our life Renny. Shit, you could become friends with a cop and rat me out for all i've done for all I care. Just as long as you know it's doesn't have to be secret. I don't want you feeling alone." "Harry, baby I feel anything but lonely with you. It was a stupid dream. I don't feel that way at all. I used to feel like I couldn't say things to people with your old job but, even then it didn't bother me all that much. Our relationship is ours."
I pulled her tighter against me and nodded.
"Don't fucking leave me." I chuckled to make it less serious but I was completely serious. "Never." She smiled and I hummed. "Then let me put a ring on it." I whispered with a smirk and her eyes widened.
"Oh come on pretty girl, you aren't scared of a little commitment are you?" I teased and she narrowed her eyes.
"No." "Good. Because you're getting a proposal soon." I admitted and she sat up. "Harry...why would you tell me?" She exclaimed and I laughed, looking up at her. "Just needed to see how you'd react. Can't have you saying no. It would hurt my ego baby."
She rolled her eyes and laid on top of me.
"But I need you to move in with me first." I whispered and she slowly smiled. "Are you asking me?" "I've been asking." I whispered back and she softly kissed my lips.
"Okay."
I widened my eyes and rolled her on her back, me hovering over her.
"Really? You'll do it? Soon?"
She smiled and nodded.
"I talked about it with the guys tonight. I'm gonna keep paying for my rent here just in case-" "Hell no, what do you mean just in case? In case what?"
She smiled and shook her head at my distaste.
"In case they ever need me to be here."
I softened at her response and I nodded.
"Let me pay it." "No." "Please." I begged and she shook her head. "Im gonna buy the place for you guys, I swear." I laughed and she glared at me. "No."
"Yes."
I cut her off from talking as I kissed her in a firm kiss.
"Never leaving me?" I whispered and she shook her head. "Trap me baby." She smirked and she locked her legs around my hips and I knew exactly what she meant.
"Knew you wanted dick."
I pulled down her shorts as she laughed.
Fuck that dream. This is real life.