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It's just a lot to think about the world I'm used to
The one I can't get back
At least not for a while
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Chapter 74
Harry's Pov.
2 Weeks Later
"Mate just let me check it for fucks sake." Tysons gruff voice bitched at me.
"I don't give a fuck about it Tyson, let it be."
I shook his hand off of my fucking leg so he would just leave me alone. He's not even supposed to fucking be in here. Or anywhere near me for that matter but he managed to sneak in my garage and come right up the elevator into my place.
"You have a bullet wound and you're gonna take care of it you asshole. So fuck off and let me check it or i'll give you another one."
His hand unwrapped the 2 day old wound.
I got shot. Wasn't a big deal or anything. I was pretty much fucking ambushed by Jason but he had a shitty aim so fuck him. He drove off before I could even retaliate. It's getting old.
Everything is getting old.
Tyson wrapped it back up , me not even really knowing what the fuck he had done to it.
It's been two weeks.
Two weeks since I saw Renny.
Two weeks since i've spoken to her.
The hardest fucking two weeks of my life.
She doesn't know what happened or why I left and that's what hurts the most.
She's called. A lot. She's left voicemails that I can't listen to. She's texted me. I think the only reason she hasn't showed up at my door is because she stayed in the hospital for 4 days and since she's gotten out she's been at home.
I've gotten Tyson to speak to Cyril. That's how I know any of this.
"Alright, i'm going downstairs. You need to eat." "Just fucking go. I can feed myself and I just need you out of here-" "You don't fucking feed yourself though. So cut it out. I'm ordering food."
I sighed as I laid back in bed, pissed at the fact that before I can kill Jason and get this over with, I have to let my leg heal because I can barely walk with it right now as it is.
It's delaying me getting back to her.
I need to be back with her.
I want to get drunk. I need to get plastered and get this feeling out of my chest. I need her here and I can't have her and nothing has ever fucking hurt the way this does. I miss her. I miss her so fucking much and I need her.
After about 10 minutes, I could swear I heard beating at the door downstairs.
Fuck. If this is Jason and Tyson is here, I will lock him in a closet until Jason is done with. He's not getting fucking hurt.
I quickly limped out of bed and started down the stairs but that's when I heard it....
"Please just open the door."
It's not Jason.
"I don't k-know what's going on. Just tell me what's g-going on. Please....Harry please open the door. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever I did."
A knife. A knife felt like it went straight into my chest.
I have used every fucking fiber of my body to keep from texting her back or calling or going back to see her. I have made sure to put her safety first but hearing this right now —unbearable.
"Please don't fucking do this. Talk to me. Just tell me why." She cried and I limped down the stairs to the door, feeling my own tears well up.
"Harry no. No." Tyson grabbed me out of no where. "Tyson I have to talk to her. I have to." "No. I will take her home but you just got shot. It's anything but safe right now to have her around again. You told me you would do anything to keep her safe...I know this fucking hurts but don't do this okay? Get Jason out and then do this." "She won't have me by then , I have to do this." I painfully told him and he held me back again.
"She has a key." I whispered in pain as he held me back. "She has a key. I gave her a key and...the locks are changed now. She probably thinks I did it to keep her out. Tyson please let me just talk to her. I don't want her to think I wanted to leave, please."
I heard her crying more words out and it was pure pain. Torture is a better description.
"She took a fucking bullet for me, I owe her this." "You owe her safety. The second you see her, you're not gonna let her go and you know it."
I shook my head and groaned in literal pain at what i'm hearing.
"Tell her I didn't change the locks to keep her out. Please tell her. Please." I begged and he nodded with a straight face but sad eyes.
"I'm gonna take her home. I'll be back."
I shook my head, trying to drown out the gut wrenching sound of her cries.
"Don't come back, just let me be alone, please." "No." "Yes. I'm not letting you in Tyson. Just take her. Please....tell her i'm sorry. And I love her and...fuck, I just need to talk to her for a second." I groaned in pain, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes as I pulled at my hair.
"I'm gonna go take her. Go upstairs." He told me but I shook my head. "Harry you don't need to get a glimpse of her okay? Just go upstairs." "I want a glimpse of her." I admitted but he took a deep breathe.
"Really? You want a glimpse of her crying in pain?"
Twist the knife then.
I took a deep breathe and pushed him towards the door.
"Just go. Take her, go."
He walked towards the door and I leaned against the wall where I couldn't see her but I didn't need to. The following sounds hurt worse.
"Harr- Tyson?" She asked through heavy tears to the point that I could hear her hyperventilating.
"I'm sorry baby, i'm sorry." I whispered in tears.
"Hey love, let me take you home yeah?" "No, where is he? Can I please talk to him?" "He's not here Ren, im so-" "Bullshit. Yes he is and you know it." She hiccuped and I bit my tongue so hard that I could taste the blood.
"I'm so sorry Renny, he just can't talk right now." "What happened?" She asked in such a small voice that I wanted to fucking die.
"Is it because he saw me like that in that place? Is that why he doesn't wanna be with me?"
What? What does she mean?
"Love it's nothing that you did-" "Is it because I looked like that? Everyone saw me half naked and now he doesn't see me the same?" She asked with hiccups and I pushed myself off of the wall, limping to the door.
I'm not letting her go on thinking that's why I'm doing this, i'm fucking not. Shes so fucking perfect to me, nothing on this planet could make me look at her differently.
Tysons head snapped to me and he shook his head with wide and angry eyes.
"No Renny. Look at me babe, no. He fucking loves you, he just can't see you right now. Okay? Let's get you out of this doorway and i'm gonna take you home." He picked her up before I was even halfway there.
"No, I need him-" Slam.
The door shut and I cried.
I fell to the floor and really cried. I cried my eyes out, crying harder than I have in years. I cried when Renny got shot but I didn't even really know or feel it with all the adrenaline and panic.
I feel this. I feel every fiber of this and excruciating. I hate the feeling of knowing she's hurting like this because of me. She thinks I don't want her when i've never wanted anything so fucking bad in my life.
She took a bullet for me and lost our baby.
And I won't even speak to her.
I know Renny, she wouldn't let me do this and stay away. She knows I could die and she wouldn't let me do this. I can't put her safety at risk, I can't. I watched her face death because of me and I can't let it happen again.
But the scariest fucking part of any of this is that I don't know what this will do to us.
I don't think she'll ever take me back.
Not after what I just heard.
She will never look at me the same.