TW: violence/DV/childhood trauma
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***
Oh, you left me there
I waste my breathe on a prayer, you don't care
***
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Chapter 66
Renny's Pov.
Harry pulled up in front of the apartment, my anxiety getting the best of me as I remembered what I have to do this morning.
"Bar at 11?" He suddenly asked, which he never does but whatever. "Yeah." I said with a little smile as he parked out front.
Truthfully I'll probably be a little late but Edie never minds considering we're never busy in the mornings.
He nodded slowly as I grabbed my bag and put it on my shoulder.
"Okay, i'll see you later at the bar?" I asked and he nodded but he just seemed so off.
I don't know what he's doing today or if I even want to know but, that thought alone made me sad.
I opened my door and leaned over to kiss him,
"Okay, see you soon." I told him but as I started to get out, he grabbed my hand.
"Renny, what're you doing tonight?"
I looked back at him and slowly sat completely in the car again.
"Huh?" "Tonight. What are you doing?"
I swallowed in nervousness but didn't make it noticeable.
"I'm going to eat with Cyril in the-" "Renny don't lie to me right now."
Don't fucking tell me he knows i'm meeting Gerald. He would fucking kill me before Gerald even had the chance.
"What're you..." "Keith. I heard you last night. Talking to him. Question is why?"
I felt my heart rate picking up.
"I just-" "You can tell me if you're not doing good Renny. I mean...are you using again? I don't-" "Am I using again?" I interrupted.
I know I had to have heard that wrong.
"Baby i'm only asking because he was your dealer and you're secretly calling him-" "Fuck you Harry."
I got out and tried to hold back tears as I walked to the doors of the building.
No one will ever understand what it's like to be accused of something like that when it's not true. It's very fucking obvious when someone is using again. I'm with him all the fucking time. I think he'd know.
"Ren!" I heard his voice yell before his arm grabbed mine. "Don't do that. Don't." He said as he turned me to him.
"Do you realize what you just accused me of?" "I didn't accuse you of anything, I asked. I'm sorry if it seemed otherwise but when you call your ex drug dealer and lie to me about it, of course i'm gonna think it's a possibility something is going on."
I'm not saying he's wrong for wondering but the thing is, i'm always with him. He would know if I was.
"Well i'm not. You've done drugs Harry, you can clearly tell if someone is on them and on top of that i'm always with you." "Okay but what else was I supposed to think?"
He looked down at me and I peered up at him before he took a breathe.
"Just tell me why you were gonna meet him."
I don't know why I said what I did next. I panicked.
"Shiloh. He needs to settle deals with him. Im gonna help him. Im just paying him and I don't want Shi to know." I told him, not sure where I got that from and not being sure that it was a good idea.
He looked at me, his eyes going back and forth between mine.
"Then let me go with you. Right now." "No Harry, I can do things on my own." "I know you can but I don't think you should do this on your own. Isn't that fucking triggering Renny? It certainly seemed like it was last time you saw him."
I took a deep breathe and shook my head.
"He can't this morning anyways, that's why he wanted to meet tonight."
Just lie Renny. It's better than telling him what i'm really doing, although my intentions are only to fucking help him. It's not fun seeing him come back beaten up and stressed and tense every fucking day. If I can help put an end to all this, I will.
"I'll just wait...you can go with me. Tomorrow." I lied and he nodded immediately. "Okay. Promise me you won't go meet him tonight Renny. You'll wait for me."
I nodded and he looked relieved.
I wanted to cry though.
I felt so horrible.
"I won't."
I'm not meeting him tonight, i'm meeting him this morning. That's the only reason I said that because technically, i'm not.
He grabbed my hand, my eyes going to the broken skin and scabbed over knuckles and realized just how much he's also not telling me.
"Okay, i've gotta go. Love you." He said before kissing me.
"I love you." I told him as he squeezed my hand and started walking back to his car.
"I'll see you later okay?" He said from his car and I nodded.
I watched him drive off and went upstairs, quickly changing just as my phone rang.
Keith.
"Where are you little Ren?" "Don't call me that Keith. I'll be there in 10." "See you in 10. Little Ren." He said as he hung up.
Fuck. This better be worth it.
When I arrived at his warehouse, by Uber might I add, he was waiting outside.
"Well well, if it isn't miss turned her life around. Well, your boyfriend is obviously into some shady shit so I don't know that you've turned it around too much." He chuckled.
"Can we just...get started?"
He nodded and gestured his hand to follow him into the warehouse.
"I only have one hour before work." I told him and he nodded. "Okay. So first you gotta tell me one thing. Why are you wanting to learn how to use a gun?"
Harry's Pov.
"Harry why are you leaving right now?" Tyson asked curiously as I started to leave before the event even started.
"I've gotta go check on something. I should be back before it's over." I told him as I walked out the front door and drove to Renny's.
I pulled a little ways down from the front doors of the building and turned my car off.
I know she's still here because she sent me a picture of Mick passed out with half a sandwich in his mouth about half an hour ago.
I know she said she wouldn't meet Keith tonight but...I have a feeling she will.
And that's not happening without me there.
I don't know what the fuck he would try.
I waited and waited a bit more and before I knew it, it had been 30 minutes.
Maybe she isn't. Maybe she's really not gonna leave.
Just as I thought about going back to the bar, an SUV pulled up in front of the building and shortly after, she walked out.
I watched as she got in the car. I saw the Uber sign in the car so I know it's an Uber.
And I followed it.
It went forward and I was already ready to be pissed at both Renny and Keith. I kept following but then he took a right, as if he was leaving Staten Island.
What the fuck? Why is she going to the city? Alone?
I contemplated texting her but fuck, it's not like it would do any fucking good. She wouldn't tell me.
I kept following closely as we went into the city and I was getting anxious. Cyril wasn't with her so I know they aren't actually going to eat dinner.
We turned onto a lane i'm too familiar with and got angry just being on the road. However, what I didn't fucking expect was for the Uber to pull right in front of the building I least fucking expected.
"What the fuck?" I mumbled to myself as I pulled a few cars behind them on the side.
She got out and I turned my car off.
She stood outside on the sidewalk in front of the doors the apartments for a minute and I got out.
I watched as she looked like she was gaining courage but that's when I noticed how she kept nervously situating something in the back of her pants.
She doesn't have a.....no fucking way.
She's out of her fucking mind.
She's actually fucking stupid. She's so fucking stupid.
Just as she started to walk forward, all my anger came to a head as I went right behind her and grabbed her arm, basically dragging her with me.
"What th- Harry?" She basically whispered as I opened the passenger door and basically forced her in and slammed the door.
I got into my side and turned it on, speeding off like a fucking maniac but I didn't care. She was gonna go see Gerald fucking Grimaldi.
"Harry I-" "Don't fucking speak Renny."
I could hear my fucking heartbeat in my head. I can't believe she almost went in there. He would've taken here. He wouldn't taken her and today could've been the last time I saw her if I hadn't came tonight.
"Harry I was trying to help. I know somethings been going on-" "Trying to help? Going in there and suddenly disappearing or getting yourself killed would've helped me? Not to mention the fucking gun in your waist. Give it to me." I said I held out my hand and she slowly handed it over and I realized it was mine.
"Stole my fucking gun, nice." I said as I sat it on the dash in front of her. "Since you're clearly not afraid anymore, fucking stare at it the whole way."
She didn't say anything and I was thankful because anything she said was gonna make me see even more red.
He almost had her. He almost fucking had her. She almost let him.
"He said he'd let everything go if I came and decided I didn't want anything to do with his ring, which i obviously don't-" "You're fucking dumb. The fact that you believe that." "That's why I learned to use a gun so that I could at least protect mys-" "You learned to use a gun from who?" I snapped my head to look at her.
She was quiet before she finally spoke quietly.
"Keith."
I took a deep breathe and gripped the steering wheel so tight I thought my knuckles might bust open from the scabs already there, and I think some did.
She was quiet and I didn't bother looking over at her.
I can't trust her to ever just leave this situation alone. And apparently I can't trust her to stay where she says she's going to.
We pulled up to the bar and she started to ask a question but I grabbed my gun off the dash and told her to get out before slamming my door.
I watched as she slowly got out, she was in a somewhat timid state which I wasn't used to but right now, I didn't fucking care. I'm livid.
"Why am I at the bar?" "Because apparently I can't fucking trust you to stay anywhere you say you will, so you can stay here." I said as I walked inside, hearing her follow.
I unlocked my office door and pushed it open, nodding my head for her to go inside.
She gave me an uneasy look.
"Go in Renny."
She almost looked a little scared before she walked in and I closed the door, going to the bar and getting a water before walking back in to her in the same exact place.
I threw the water bottle on the desk before looking down at her.
"I don't think i've ever been so fucking pissed at you. You'll never fucking listen to me. And you stole my fucking gun-" "I was gonna give it back Harry! Obviously. I just wanted to have that protection. You don't tell me anything. And you come home beaten up every night, I know somethings going o-" I interrupted her, not being able to reason with her while i'm this angry.
"Shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up Renny. I don't give a fuck what you have to say. I'm going to the event, i'll be back in an hour."
I walked out and slammed the door shut before locking it behind me.
I started walking away before I heard her bang on the door lightly.
"Harry!"
I know I might regret locking her in there, but right now. I don't fucking care. At least she's fucking safe.
Renny's Pov.
I was shaking with anxiety when I saw the clock was almost at two hours. I've been in here for almost two hours. I've tried calling him, he won't answer.
How could he lock me in here? I can't go to the bathroom, I can't do anything.
I tried to call him one more time with no luck before tears just started coming out of my eyes. I can't do this. He has to let me out of here.
I banged on the door and yelled for someone to let me out of here.
***
"Yeah you wanna fucking touch my cards? You wanna touch any of the shit in this house? Get in there!" He yelled angrily as he threw me in the closet.
"No please!" I yelled with tears. "I didn't know, i'm sorry!" I yelled.
I heard Mick yelling, pleading with him, before I saw him get slapped hard across the face. "Micky!" I yelled before the door slammed and I heard it lock.
"I'm sorry! No i'm sorry!" I cried as I banged on the door, this closed in feeling giving me a type of panic i've never felt in my life. "Please let me out, i'll d-do anything! I'm sorry!"
I cried, hyperventilating for what felt like hours, before I passed out.
***
The door opened and I stood up, wiping the tears from my face and trying to calm my breathes, seeing Edie.
"Renny, darling what in heavens are you doing in here?" He asked with sympathetic eyes and I hiccuped as he brought me into a hug, rubbing the back of my head.
"Can you take me home? Please? Right now?" I asked through shaky breathes and he nodded. "Of course. Let's go." He said as he asked no more questions besides if i'm okay.
On the short drive home, I almost felt dissociated.
He locked me in a room.
I was in there for hours.
When Edie dropped me off, I made my way to the apartment with shaky hands trying to unlock the door. I finally unlocked it and saw the dark room, just illuminated by the tv, and Mick on the couch.
"Ren- Renny what's wrong?" He immediately asked and I couldn't help the sobs that left my mouth as he rushed to me and hugged me, something we don't do often.
"Renny what happened? Are you okay? Where's Harry?"
I couldn't speak. So he just hugged me until I calmed down. And that's when I told him everything. Start to finish.
Harry's Pov.
I shook the new guys hand as he started to leave, seeing Edie strolling back in from the front. He looked angry and he wasn't hiding it as he came over to me.
"What's happened?" I asked, ready for whatever problem i'm gonna have to deal with now.
"Did you lock her in your office?"
Fuck. Renny.
I felt panicked as I rushed past him.
I forgot. I fucking forgot. I left her in there. I left her in there for hours.
"She's home!" He yelled, which was new for him, and I turned back around with confusion. "I took her home. She was banging on the door, crying and panicking. She was panicking Harry. You locked her in there...." He said in disbelief.
She was crying and panicking.
The words made me physically ill. I feel like i'm gonna be sick. Something I did made her have a panic attack. I knew she'd be okay for a bit because she trusts me, but then I forgot she was in there. I left her in there. And she started panicking.
"No I...I didn't mean to. I mean I did but I- I was just gonna keep it locked for a bit. I forgot she was in there, I forgot, I-" I started panicking myself as I grabbed my phone from my pocket.
15 Missed Calls from Renny
3 Texts
"harry let me out"
"seriously harry please im getting anxious"
"it's been over an hour i feel like can't breathe in here, please"
"No.." I panicked as my heart fucking twisted.
I had a right to be mad earlier, but there's no fucking excuse for what I did. She was scared. I made her scared. I didn't mean to.
Suddenly keys hit my chest and I grabbed them, looking up at Edie.
"You can close this up yourself tonight. I'm not staying here any longer. You can do your shady stuff and run your illegal business, i've always helped and kept it to myself. One thing you won't do around me, is treat that girl like that. She trusts you and you did that to her. You should be ashamed of yourself." He shook his head in disappointment before walking out.
"Edie I-" He walked out and I panicked even more.
He's never acted like that.
I can't stay. I have to go to Renny.
I ran to the back and searched for Tyson before seeing him.
"Mate what the fucks wrong?" "I have to go. Please close this up. I'm begging you." I handed him the keys and he nodded with concern.
"Yeah, okay. What's wrong Harry?" "I just have to go. Thank you." I told him as I sprinted out of the bar and got in my car, quickly speeding to Renny's.
I feel panic.
I hurt her tonight. I hurt her. She was scared. She was crying.
I pulled up and ran inside, swallowing before knocking on the door.
"Please Renny please." I whispered to myself in fear.
Please don't hate me. Please.
The door opened. It was Mick.
His face turned into something I had never seen on him. I didn't have time to blink before his fist hit my face.