***
«And here it is - the storm that I was talking about... Impossible... Why was the wall broken through not from the side of one of the district cities... And somewhere in that area our comrades are being held... Isn't it too much shock for one morning?» Immersed in her thoughts, Y/N packed her things. After the news of the breakthrough of Wall Rose, all the forces of the Survey corps were mobilized. The Commander sent several detachments to help people evacuate to nearby district cities. The Commander himself, together with Hange, Levi and the guys, decided to head to the Ehrmich district to help people, and also to talk with the residents of Ehrmich, who would certainly be against the arrival of refugees.
Collecting things that she carried with her from one base to another, she thought about where she would spend the night next time. «Is this the kind of life that awaits me...» She had achieved certain results in the study of wall samples and crystals, which Hange wanted to talk about. Also, she still wanted to continue studying Eren's blood. She already had certain theories, but she didn't dare to voice them yet. She needed good equipment, which the Survey corps didn't have. «I wish I could return to the Сapital, my father's equipment is much better, and I can only buy what I need in the Сapital. Different chemicals are sold only in some shops, but... What I'm thinking about, maybe I won't be returning to the Сapital very soon... How everything has changed, it seems that so much time has passed since I left the cadet corps, but in fact - just over a month and a half...»
She gathered all her belongings and headed to the stables, where everyone was getting ready to leave. Everyone gathered in silence. Y/N approached Hange while it was time to talk in private.
- Hange, can I have a minute? I don't know when we'll have another opportunity to discuss my tasks.
- «Y/N, yes, let's go», they looked around everyone around, «yeah, I think we have a couple of minutes before departure»
They stepped aside.
- «I wanted to tell you what I learned about walls and crystals», Y/N took out a large piece of crystal from her pocket, which Hange gave her, «although they're completely different in appearance, but... In structure, they're the same. They react equally to heat and to a number of chemicals that I was able to get in Stohess. Something like a chemical reaction is formed, but in the end nothing changes. It's like pouring cold water on a hot stone - steam will come out, but after a second - the water will drain, and the stone will heat up again. This means that the crystals that titan-shifter can create and the walls are connected. Eren, of course, doesn't know anything, we can't ask Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt... not an option yet. Remains...»
- Pastor Nick. He knows something about the walls that he doesn't want to talk about. These days I have used any means to get him to talk. And, therefore, I hope that the sight of the refugees will soften him. He will go with us.
- Hange, the commander didn't say anything, what are we going to do next? After Ehrmich? We go behind the wall to help in the evacuation or...
- The situation is becoming more and more complicated, and even this breakthrough of the wall. We can't even figure out where it is. Garrison soldiers, along with scouts who have been cleared to return to work, comb the entire perimeter of Wall Rose, looking for a breach through which the titans have passed. When they find it... Hell, I don't even know what will happen when they find it. It's obvious that everyone can't hide behind the wall Sina, but those who take refuge... We already have a shortage of all resources, but now...
Hange clutched their head, trying to contain their growing unease. Y/N put her hand on their shoulder.
- Hange, we can handle it. The commander will definitely come up with something.
- I understand. Just why doesn't Pastor Nick want to talk? The situation is close to a critical point. The meaning of all these secrets, when soon there will be no people left to keep them from...
- We understand this, but people in the Capital... No one there has ever known what hunger, deprivation, restrictions are. And the followers of the Order of the walls...
- By horses! It's time to go!
Y/N and Hange got into one of the carriages heading for Ehrmich. Y/N returned Hange's large crystal shard as a reminder of what they had already achieved and what more they would achieve in the future. «The main thing is not to give up. When you give up, you become a slave to your doubts and fears». Y/N sat between Hange and Captain Levi as they drove to Ehrmich. Opposite were Armin, Mikasa and Eren. Everyone was silent, immersed in their own thoughts. Next to Hange sat their «ward» - pastor Nick. Perhaps everyone was silent, as his presence was straining.
- Hange, I was just thinking...
- Yes, Armin?
- How could the Wall Rose be broken through? If there are titans in all the walls, then it turns out... the titans made their way through the wall with the titans... Is this possible?
- Armin, remember what happened in Shiganshina! They're...
- «Eren, in Shiganshina only the outer gates were destroyed, as was the case in Trost. The wall was destroyed only at the very top, where the Colossal Titan was squeezing it with his hand. I remember that, and the current situation seems illogical to me», he looked at Pastor Nick, «why is the Order of the walls member coming with us to Ehrmich?»
- Oh, Pastor Nick won't hurt anyone. He still prefers to keep important information to himself, but he seems to be unaware of the consequences of the Titans invasion. Therefore, we will show him. He wasn't surprised when there were titans in the Walls at Stohess. No matter how much I tried to talk to him, perhaps what he saw would loosen his tongue.
- Or you always can try to deprive him of a pair of fingers, it also helps to untie the tongue.
After these words Pastor Nick turned pale and swallowed nervously.
- Levi, don't be so cruel, this is quite an extreme measure.
***
They arrived in Ehrmich after sunset. Refugees have already begun to flock to the city. Screams and panic were heard everywhere. The inhabitants of Ehrmich, as expected, weren't happy with the refugees, but no one asked them. The local military was also not happy with what was happening. They looked askance at the scouts who had arrived in the city.
They drove up to the military headquarters, where the military officers of various units who arrived in the city were usually accommodated. Refugees crowded around, hoping that the scouts would help them, say that soon they would be able to return home. In Ehrmich, it was decided to collect all the unused forces of the Survey corps and send them to counter the titans. Ehrmich was closest to the center of the invasion, as the reports showed.
As they unloaded, Y/N realized that she was trembling. Not out of fear, but out of uncertainty and helplessness. Not from the fact that she would have to face the titans, but from what would happen if they failed. That all these people will die of hunger, because it's much easier to die in battle than to starve and just die out like a candle.
- Y/N, how are you?
- Mikasa, I'm fine. If anything at all now can be considered in the order of things.
- It's just that you've never encountered titans before. And you're probably scared and...
- Everything is fine. I can handle. Though I'm timid, I don't have the habit of being numb with surprise. And how are you? Although, stupid question. I don't know a stronger soldier than you, only Captain Levi, but he has more experience. How about others?
- They're still discussing the news about Reiner and Bertholdt. Eren still can't believe it. Just like it was with Annie. When he couldn't believe she could be a titan. I think maybe he had some feelings for her, but I...
- Very unlikely, Mikasa. Eren is simply attached to the memories of the cadet corps, of everyone who studied with us. He very painfully endures the loss of his loved ones, he has an emotional mess in his head. I don't know how you can stand it, to be honest.
- I have no one closer than him, Y/N. He changed my life and I will always cherish him. I want him to be happy, and then I will be happy too.
- «Happiness is a very objective state», Y/N said as she gathered her things and headed inside. She wanted to speak to the Сommander.
Mikasa just wanted to think over what Y/N had said, but she was interrupted.
- And why did we drag ourselves to Ehrmich, when we could immediately go to the Wall Rose!
- «Eren, the commander want to organize a centralized evacuation operation, and not a farce, as you suggest», Armin reassured his friend. «Moreover, we need to wait for news about the location of the breach in the Wall, if there is one»
- «Armin, I'm sorry, but this your idea - sheer nonsense. I understand your logic, but how can the titans get behind the Wall Rose then?» Jean remarked skeptically.
- I don't know... Maybe if Hange can get this... Pastor to talk, we'll understand at least something of what's going on.
- We'll hope. Mikasa, where did Y/N go already? We just unloaded.
- She didn't tell me. She must have gone looking for Hange. She's still in their squad.
- I wonder what she's doing at Hange's request? She doesn't train with us, forever in her books...
- They study the nature of the titans, Jean. Someone like you wouldn't have the brains to do that.
- As if you, Eren, would have had enough brains for this.
- «I'm not saying that I could. She studied my blood, I know for sure. And in general, the month that we were... when she was watching me, I knew her from the other side. She is far from quiet and timid as she seems», he looked at Armin, waiting for a reaction from him. Even in the current situation, he didn't miss trying to bring his friend to the revelation.
- «Maybe you just never tried to get to know her, Eren?» Jean answered him. «But you know, what's really interesting is why she communicates so freely with other scouts, and especially with Commander Erwin? Maybe...»
- «Don't get involved, Jean», Armin told him. «Don't ask questions. Someday she will explain everything, but now it doesn't matter...»
- «So, she told you everything?» Eren looked at him in surprise. «I only got a short version with lots of spaces and threats to wash toilets»
- What?
- «She's bossy when opportunity allows», Eren remarked awkwardly.
- You don't seem to be doing anything here, do you?
They froze. Captain Levi came up behind them. The guys didn't know how long he listened to their conversation.
- Eren, it seems to me that you and I have already had a conversation about assumptions and theories more than once. Get ready to leave for Wall Rose. News can come at any moment.
He went in the same direction as Y/N.
- We had a good talk...
***
Y/N found the commander when he was talking to one of the representatives of Ehrmich's government. She waited for them to finish talking. But Erwin noticed the girl. He ended the conversation by saying that they would continue later.
- Y/N, did you want something?
- I want to talk to you. Nobody says what will happen next. We're really going to Wall Rose without any plan and...
- Our only plan is to save as many people as possible, kill as many titans as possible.
- But if the wall is really broken, then we won't be able to kill everyone, it's certain death... Like four years ago... the operation that the government came up with.
- «While this is all we can, Y/N», he put his arm around the girl's shoulders, trying to calm her down, «is give at least some hope. Do you want me to order you to stay?»
- NO! In no case! I don't stand aside. Even if I die, it will be better than being a soldier on the run from his duty. We all swore an oath to give our lives to save humanity.
- You know, Y/N, for some reason I remember your father more and more often. Joseph, although he was an ordinary doctor, he was very brave. Being a doctor is not an easy profession. Potentially, everyone can become a soldier, even a bad one, but still a soldier. Doctor - no. It's necessary to have the strength of mind, and... the desire to help others. Put other people first. This quality has always fascinated me in him. Even in our last meeting, he only wanted you to live, to be happy. He fought for life, not because he wanted to live, but because he didn't want to leave you alone. You were his miracle. And you're your father's daughter. Whether it's good or bad - who will say what.
- Do you still want to fulfill your promise to my father?
- «I would like to... But...», Erwin sighed. «Everything is more complicated than you think. I confess, I thought not only about this promise. I've been thinking about what you could give the Survey Corps that no one can give. It's not only your mind, your courage, but your origin, Y/N. I had plans, but... now I'm not sure that they have a future. It's not known if we all have a future...»
- So, you don't keep me out of the fight? Because you don't see the point anymore?
- I'm not your parent, you're old enough to decide for yourself. I could order, but... You're dear to me like a daughter, I don't want to be just your commander. I would like you to understand why I do certain things, make certain decisions. I would like to take care of you, as I promised your father a long time ago, but first of all, I'm the commander of the Survey corps. And it just happens that you're my subordinate. And if you want to go into battle, who am I to stop you... I just have a feeling that you're capable of much more than just die in the ranks of scouts.
- Uncle Erwin, in the current situation, even if I stay behind the walls, how long will this «peace» last? A month, maybe a year? But it doesn't cost anything...
- I hope we can get out of this situation... Did Eren tell you about his key?
- That his father left him the key to the basement in his house, where supposedly all the answers can be? Yes, he did, but, you know, I don't think anything good will come of it. As if everything will become even more complicated, more confusing... Or it will be the bitter truth, which will lead to something even more dangerous than the titans behind the walls...
- «Nevertheless, I believe that this can lead to something important for humanity. If we have time, I'll tell you about my father... And now», he looked out the window, where Hange and Levi were dragging Pastor Nick inside, «I think Hange wants to share something with us, or rather, Pastor Nick»
Y/N and Erwin went downstairs. Levi and Hange led Pastor Nick into one of the rooms, which was currently empty. The guys, who were still gathering the necessary things and equipment for going to the wall Rose, were still in the stables, and they saw how Pastor Nick was «nicely escorted» somewhere into the building. They decided not to miss the opportunity to learn something new. On their way after Hange and Levi, they saw Commander Erwin hurrying towards them, accompanied by Y/N.
- And I told you that they're somehow connected, well, an ordinary soldier like you and me can't communicate with the commander one on one so often, and she knew about the details of our mission behind the wall, so...
- Jean, shut up.
- Now is not up to it.
Eren and Armin almost simultaneously made a remark to Jean. They wondered what Pastor Nick might know about the walls that they didn't.
- I'm still not going to break my vow. I will not say anything, although I understand the complexity of the current situation. This secret doesn't belong to me.
The guys leaned to the door, eavesdropping on the conversation. Suddenly, out of nowhere...
- GUYS!!! GOD, I THOUGHT I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN!
- SASHA!!! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHERE IS EVERYONE ELSE?
- They stayed with the other scouts, while I was sent with a message for Commander Erwin.
Sasha quickly knocked on the door, and after permission, she entered the room. Eren, Jean, Mikasa and Armin also showed up from behind the door, waiting for Sasha to return and tell them everything.
- Commander Erwin! I'm here with a message about breaking through Wall Rose! Garrison and Survey Corps officers have searched the entire perimeter of Wall Rose and found no breaches in the wall, sir!
- «It's impossible, Erwin, then where will the titans come inside the Wall Rose?!» Hange was confused.
- Soldier Braus, right? Do you know where the titans were first seen?
- It's not known exactly, but the nearest place is the village Ragako. All its inhabitants are gone, sir. My friend... his family is from there...
- Where are the rest of the recruits from your group?
- Other scouts came to our aid, they stayed with them, and they sent me with a message. They planned to take refuge in one of the abandoned castles nearby.
- I understood you. Now we will form a strategy on how to proceed further, but for now you can rest.
- Yes, sir!
- Erwin, how is it so... If the wall isn't broken, then how about the titans... Everything is mixed up in my head, I don't seem to understand anything anymore.
- Hange, I think we need to...
- «I'm sorry about this, but I have to say...» Pastor Nick gave a voice that no one in the audience expected. «In the group of recruit that are currently located near the epicenter of the attack on the titans... there is a girl who can answer all your questions. One of the purposes of our Order is to protect her. I can't answer your questions, but maybe she can»
- «What, or rather WHO?» Hange walked over to him, «Pastor Nick, dear, why didn't you tell me before? Who's that girl?»
- I only know that she is short, blonde and next to her is often another girl named Ymir.
The guys still listening outside the door, now in Sasha's company, looked at each other. Everyone knew that who was always in the company of Ymir.
- Krista? And what about Krista?
***
- Hange, go with Levi closer to the epicenter of the invasion. We need to understand what happened and where the titans came from. Take Eren and the other recruits with you. I will wait for the rest of the scouts that should arrive in Ehrmich, and I will wait for your messages in which direction to head. We must deal with this crisis.
- Yes, commander! Y/N, let's go, we need to...
- No, Y/N will stay here for now, I will need help with something.
Hange, obviously taken aback by this statement and was about to protest, but Levi stopped them.
- Let's go.
- But I...
They went out the door, where the recruits were still crowding.
- What did you all forget here? I told you clearly what to do.
- Sorry, Captain, we just...
- We're all going over the wall. I hope you've got everything ready.
The guys looked at each other, and quickly hurried back to the stables.
- Levi, why didn't you let me ask? Y/N is on my squad. I have a right...
- It's none of our business, Hange. Now there are other issues to think about.
***
- You said you wouldn't stop me to go beyond the wall with the others! And now you're doing the exact opposite!
- Y/N, something has changed, you won't go over the Wall.
- So, what should I do? Sitting again, waiting for the other scouts to return, and then sewing up their wounds, telling them «I'm sorry» and «I understand». What do you expect from me?
- I have another task for you. The one that only you can do.
Y/N finally looked at him. Before that, they avoided his gaze, afraid to cry from the oppressive resentment against the commander. His gaze wasn't soft, it was persistent and serious.
- It's time for you to take your father's place.
- To become a doctor?
- No. You're not a stupid girl. You certainly understand what your father did for me.
- He... informed you about what they were talking about at court. About the life of the king, the nobles, about secret plans and...
- And when he died, I lost this extremely important source. But you... You're still welcome in the palace. All doors are open to you. You're smart. Everything's changing rapidly, Y/N. And now, more than ever, it's important for us to know what's happening there. And given what pastor Nick said...
- «And here is Krista, she's an ordinary girl, I'm not...» and then Y/N remembered one of the conversations that she had once overheard. «She is... the illegitimate daughter of Lord Reiss, whom he hid from the public after the death of his entire family... But why...»
- «Where did you... Overheard this?» Erwin grinned at Y/N, who blushed in shame. «Yes, I think your father told me about her. A lot of weird things happened to this lord. With his family especially. Your father told me briefly, but he said he kept a detailed diary of everything he did for their family. He's still somewhere in your apartment in Mitras. I want you to go back there. I need to understand what the Order of the walls has to do with Krista Lenz and the Reiss family. And you can help me with this»
- Do you want me to become a spy in the palace? But I do...
- For everyone - you spent all these years in the small settlement behind the wall Sina. Now is the perfect time to come back. For everyone, you worked as a doctor in a rural clinic. I think you'll find something to do in the palace. Everyone's running behind Wall Sina now, so it would be wise for you to return now under the pretense of fleeing the titans behind Wall Rose.
- But my job... Hange and my friends need me...
- You can continue your research in the Capital. There you'll find much more opportunities, as well as better equipment than we can offer. Hange won't mind. I mean that after we deal with the current problem, my presence will be required in the Capital. Then we'll meet. If anything, Hange and Levi know where to find you. I'll discuss your position with them. If you agree, of course?
- Yes, I agree...
- It didn't sound very confident.
- I'm just a little confused, I didn't think I'd be back there soon... And I'll be alone.
- Otherwise, nothing will work, you mustn't show any connection with the Survey corps.
- I realized. I'll do whatever it takes. When should I leave?
- The sooner the better.
- «Apparently it's good that I didn't really unpack my things», said Y/N, resolutely heading towards the exit.
- Y/N?
She turned around and the commander hugged her.
- Please, be careful, even though there are no titans in the palace, but...
- I know, Uncle Erwin. There are no creatures more terrible than people in this world.
- As always smart beyond her years. But seriously, take care of yourself. I hope we'll see each other again.
- I'll miss you, Uncle Erwin. I have no one dearer than you, I hope this will make you survive and return to me.
- ... You have to go. You probably want to say goodbye to your friends.
- I'm not good with goodbyes...
***
Y/N discussed her «situation» with Hange and Levi. They both approved the idea of the commander, after which they all went to prepare for departure, each in their own direction. Y/N again scooped up her belongings, which she hadn't yet unpacked, and began to put them on the horse, on which she was going to go to the Capital all alone. She gave Hange her uniform and ODM, in the hope that one day she would return to the Survey Corps and become one of the Scouts again.
Eren, Jean, Armin, Mikasa and Sasha were getting ready to leave for Wall Rose. Sasha told what happened: how the titans came out of nowhere, how everyone went to help people evacuate, how she saved the girl from the titan, using only one hunting bow and ax. Jean noticed Y/N, who was hoping to slip away unnoticed.
- It seems Y/N isn't coming with us.
- So, the commander said that she would stay...
- «It doesn't look like she's staying», Jean pointed in the Y/N's direction, who was leading the horse to the exit of the stables. They wouldn't have paid any attention to her if she was in her scout uniform, but for some reason she was in civilian clothes.
Armin would like to talk to her alone. But he knew that now it was impossible. If he goes to her, then everyone else will. He remembered how in the morning his thoughts were only about her and about what he wanted to tell her about his feelings, as soon as everything calmed down. But it only got worse... «Is there even a perfect moment...»
- «Y/N, where are you going?» Sasha and Eren weren't so patient and restrained.
«Damn, it didn't work out to leave unnoticed»
- Guys, I... I need to leave. At the personal request of Commander Erwin.
- In civilian clothes?
- «Now the attitude towards scouts is quite skeptical. I thought it would be better», she expected some kind of reaction from them, but for some reason they were all confused. «Good luck, guys. Take care of yourself, I hope we'll meet again», Y/N said, climbing into the saddle.
- But Y/N, where...
- «GUYS, IT'S TIME FOR US. WE NEED TO GET TO YOUR FELLOWS ASAP!» Hange called to them, already getting into the wagon behind Captain Levi.
«Thank you, Hange, I've had enough of this awkward conversation»
- «And good luck to you, Y/N», Mikasa said, smiling sweetly at the girl.
- Hopefully, when I meet again, I can explain everything to you...
She caught Armin's eye. There wasn't a breeze in the blue lakes, only some kind of sadness and longing. Y/N didn't want to part again. «I miss you already, Armin. Now, after yesterday, it seems that I can never be without you again. I don't want to be without you», she thought to herself. She wanted to hug him and never let go again.
But there was no time or place. «Will that time come... Or will I still have to let him go...»