***
During the month when the Scouting mission was being prepared, Levi periodically trained Y/N. He did this because he saw himself in her: a child who tries to please her guardian without thinking about herself. He didn't want to see her break down when she realized she was just a piece on the chessboard for her guardian. He knew Erwin and his dreams all too well. He believed and trusted him. But they were both adults, mature people. Y/N... No, she was no longer the child he had first met her. She had matured, but that «childish» desire still played in her eyes. And he wanted to help her save herself.
Thanks to Levi's training, «God, how embarrassing, I've already called him by just his name three times already. It seems to me that at some point, he will comment on it» Y/N became better at handling blades, but still, she didn't like this process.
She also began to work hard with Hange on several «projects» at once. First, they came up with tests for Eren together. At first, they couldn't figure it out, just as Eren himself couldn't figure it out - how to instigate the transformation. Eren believed that everything is simple - you just need to hurt yourself. But alas, it wasn't so. Trials, errors and some accidents led to the conclusion that to become a titan, you must also have a clear goal and preferably a clear mind. Hange moved some of their scientific equipment to the castle, which Y/N immediately began to use. She had a theory that perhaps the ability to turn into a titan depends on what a person has inside. She didn't tell anyone this, because deep down she still considered it nonsense, and even more so to offer to open someone up... She asked Eren for some blood, trying to examine something under magnifying glasses. Also, she asked officer Berner, who now and then carried out various assignments for Hange and was constantly on the road, to buy some medicines for her, as well as various chemical mixtures, which also became part of her experiment.
Secondly, preparations began for a Scouting mission beyond the wall. Hange, as Commander Erwin had suspected, had shared the true plan with several other scouts in their squad who had been in service for over five years - they knew they could trust them. It was in such a company that they developed a plan. One of the key tasks that they had to solve was how to capture the titan. They had to develop the perfect trap. In the end, they came up with a good plan to use metal spikes, which were pierced the titan almost all over the body, which wouldn't allow them to move. Once fixed, the host's body could be removed.
Also, Y/N proposed to improve the smoke flares used by the scouts, namely, to add some chemicals to the existing smoke color mixtures that would allow the signals to stay in the air longer. She found information about such substances in a book on geology and mining. They processed stones that were supplied to the Capital. Hange found this idea quite useful. And, as a result, it turned out to be very effective.
- «Wouldn't it be great to make things like this, so that blades are no longer needed?» Y/N thought one evening, while the two of them were discussing various theories with Hange after their general meeting.
- Levi has tormented you so much that you decided to find a way to take blades out of the equation?
- No, the Captain is kind to me, though you can't tell from his appearance. But, you just imagine - just how to throw a knife at a tree - once, and that's it. No twists and turns, no thoughts «what if it's not deep enough»...
- If you come up with this, no one will mind, but I doubt that anything will be more effective than the good old blades...
Communication with Eren also went smoothly. After he accidentally turned into a titan during lunch, the scouts realized that he didn't really understand what was happening to him. They got to know him, trusting him a little more. Eren, on the other hand, became more confident in the company of scouts, and also began to participate in conversations. Captain Levi allowed him to periodically go out for walks, accompanied by other scouts. Together with them, they trained and prepared for the upcoming mission.
Eren began to notice more and more why Y/N wasn't treated like a newcomer: she was smart as hell. When he found out that she was on the mission planning team, he was surprised she was a cadet just like him. But Eren was in the top ten...
- Y/N, can I ask a question?
- Yeah...
One day they were sitting in the library: Eren was reading some reports about the previous missions of the Survey corps, while Y/N, as usual, was trying to read three books at once.
- Why didn't you want to be in the top ten?
- What for? You do realize that the only advantage that top ten cadets get is the privilege of joining the military police. I never wanted to join the military police. Therefore, I never climbed forward, never gave 100%, never shouted out answers in class. I could do a lot better, but what was the point. I did enough to stay in the cadet corps. That was enough to become a scout. And if I got into the top ten, I would only take away from someone the dream of joining the military police.
- «And again you took care of another person's dreams», Eren laughed.
Y/N just gave him a skeptical look and turned back to her books. During the time that they spent together, and it was a lot of time, he began to understand her much better. And he began to understand why Armin didn't want to tell her about his feelings. She was too focused on her goals, sometimes forgetting about herself. This delighted Eren, but he couldn't understand why she was acting like that. There must be some reason why she lives only for this purpose... He himself lived only for the goal of destroying the titans, but... He lost everything, and she... What happened to her? He could always wonder what was in her head, but it seemed to him that he would never know, and she would never tell him.
A whole month flew by. As the scouts who went to the Commander for the ceremony of entry of newcomers into the Survey corps later said, there were those few who joined the Survey corps. This news raised the morale of the scouts. In developing the plan for the Scouting mission, the participation of recruits was taken into account, who were assigned the role of escorting spare horses. Also, each recruit was required to be in a group with experienced scouts, so that in the event of an attack by the titans, there would be no panic. However, all recruits trained separately, because the castle was only the headquarters for the Levi's squad and the place of Eren's temporary detention, which was agreed with the Commander-in-chief.
On the day before the start of the 57th Exterior Scouting mission outside the walls, all the scouts involved in the mission headed to Calaneth for final preparations. They stopped near the entrance to Calaneth. There was one of the bases of the Survey corps, there were barracks, stables, training grounds - everything to accommodate a large number of military personnel. Levi's squad, along with Y/N and Eren, arrived in Calaneth before another scout group, which just included recruits. Y/N was helping Eren with the horses when the Commander arrived along with Captain Levi.
- Y/N, I need to talk to you alone.
- All right, Commander Erwin.
They left the stables from the opposite side, from where the Commander and Levi came to them. In front of them was only a fence enclosing the territory of the base, and fields of already ripe wheat, which would soon begin to be harvested.
- Y/N, you stay. You will not go over the walls with us tomorrow.
- What?! Why?! But I'm already attached to the group and...
- You're staying. I don't want you to get hurt.
- But I didn't join the Survey corps to sit out while others...
- They're dying. There is a high probability that many will not return. And I don't want you to be one of them.
- Don't ask me to be a coward. Don't ask to sit back while everyone else is fighting. Please, don't. I...
- I made a promise to your father to keep you safe, and I intend to keep my promise.
- You can't decide for me just because you promised my father so. He's gone, and won't come back...
- I can decide for you. I'm your Commander. You yourself have chosen this path.
- I'm not...
- It seems that another detachment has arrived, I need to go. I hope you understand me.
The Commander went along the stables without returning inside. Y/N stood frozen in place. «It was his plan... He let me join the Survey Corps to decide for me. To control me. Even though he cares about me, I should have the right to decide». Her frustration turned to anger. She was angry at Erwin for not letting her go on a mission. At scouts, because their work is so dangerous. At Eren, for the fact that for some reason he can turn into a titan and doesn't know anything about it. At Levi, because he always looks at everyone with a displeased expression on his face. At her father, for the fact that he died. But above all, she was angry at herself for not understanding all this manipulation earlier. That she fell for this ploy arranged by her father and Erwin. For the fact that she's so weak and isn't able to manage even with two blades as it should be. If she had been strong, this wouldn't have happened.
She flew sharply back into the stables. Eren was no longer inside, and Levi was standing at the opposite exit, watching something. She walked over to him, blocking his view.
- Why didn't you do something about it? Why did he remove me? What was the point of all this preparation then, if I'm going to sit out my pants at the base while everyone else is fighting?
- Lower your tone, Y/N. I have nothing to do with it. This is your business with Erwin, he made it clear that he doesn't accept other people's opinions on «your» issue.
- What does that mean, Levi? What is this «my» issue?
Levi looked at her wearily.
- «You need to let off steam. I understand. But now is not the time or place», he looked somewhere behind her, nodding in the direction. And then, he went in the opposite direction. «Remind Eren that we have to go. Don't test my patience».
- «What? And what about Eren?» Y/N finally decided to turn around. And...
- Y/N?
***
Y/N and the Commander left to talk. Eren was left alone with Captain Levi.
- Are you done with the preparations here?
- Yes, Captain, we want to go to report.
- Hange wants to do one last briefing for our group, so you're coming with me now.
- All right, Captain.
They were already heading towards the exit when Eren noticed a group of recruits arriving. At the end of one of the groups, he saw Mikasa and Armin.
- Captain, my friends are there. May I speak to them? Just a minute?
- But not to long.
- «Thanks». Eren ran towards his friends. «Armin, Mikasa!»
- «Eren, and we thought when we will see you!» Armin greeted his friend.
- You're here! I didn't even know who would decide to join the Survey corps.
- «We planned this from the very beginning, Eren. Are you all right, are you being fed? Didn't that shorty do anything to you?» Mikasa asked looking at Levi.
- No, the Captain isn't what he seems, everything...
- Eren, is it you?
- Reiner, Bertholdt, Krista! And you're here too!
- Yes, Sasha and Connie are also somewhere here...
- Almost all of ours. Annie, Marco, and...
- Marco is dead, Eren.
- Jean, are you...
- Surprised? I'm just as surprised as you...
- But guys, how... Why are you all here? Why did you decide to join the Survey corps after what happened?
- Your graduation speech took on new meaning, Eren, and everything that happened in Trost only showed that, although you're a crazy suicidal, you're right in many ways...
They were distracted by a scream. The group of guys turned towards the entrance to the stables, where Captain Levi was standing, and someone was shouting at him, which was very unusual. From the back it wasn't clear who it was, but Eren perfectly understood who it was.
- What the hell is she doing?
- «Do you know her? Few people dare to shout at Captain Levi, we have learned a lot about the scouts this month, and we have heard a lot about him», Jean said admiringly.
- You'll be surprised, Jean.
Captain Levi walked towards the assembly barracks. And his interlocutor abruptly turned around, her face frozen with surprise, mixed with anger and impatience.
- Y/N?
- THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE, WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. WHAT THE HELL?
Y/N was happy to see everyone. But her anger overshadowed her joy. She found Armin's blue eyes in the crowd as he stood frozen, unable to do or say anything. Only the tears in his eyes spoke of how relieved he was to see her.
- Eren, if you don't want trouble, you'd better hurry.
- Eren, what's going on?
- I'm his babysitter, that's what's going on, Reiner. Now, Eren, we have to go.
- «God, Y/N, what's wrong with you? Is the conversation with...», Eren interrupted himself. He remembered that he had promised to remain silent about her communication with the commander.
- Sorry guys, but we really have to go.
With that, she grabbed Eren by the elbow and dragged him after Captain Levi.
- «What's wrong with you, Y/N? Those are our friends. Aren't you happy to see them? They all thought you were dead and now...», Eren decided to continue the conversation once they had moved a little further.
- Shut up, Eren. Just shut up. I don't have the energy to fight with you.
- What happened?
- I got removed, that's what happened.
At that moment, they caught up with Captain Levi. He was waiting for them at the entrance.
- Come on, Hange has prepared some diagrams and has already started the descriptive part.
- I will not go. It makes no sense for me to attend. After all, he removed me.
- Y/N, stop playing kindergarten. He's the commander of the Survey corps, he can order each of us. How he once ordered my special squad to babysit an 11-year-old. Do you think everyone was happy then? You certainly were better than any titan, but we were trained to fight and kill titans, not to babysit kids.
- Levi, I...
- «And maintain subordination, at least when we're not alone», with these words he entered the barracks.
«He still reminded me this. I knew it»
- Y/N, I'm sorry. We prepared for our first mission, and in the end...
- I can handle it, Eren. It's just... I'll be out of the way again. How tired I am of this... Okay, let's go, Hange is still waiting for us.
- «You didn't want to go, did you?» Eren smirked. «And the Captain didn't just affect me, did he?»
- I told you to shut up, Eren. You forgot?
They, laughing, entered the barracks.
***
- «I can't believe Y/N is alive... No one has seen her since we arrived in Trost...», Krista said.
- «Perhaps she was never been in Trost», whispered Armin.
The guys just stood there, watching Eren and Y/N leave.
- «But she couldn't just disappear on her way there?» Jean said. «Although, what difference does it make now... And what about her? She's kind of... angry, or something. I've never seen her like this»
- «I think a lot has happened this month. Maybe after the mission we can all talk. I hope so...», Armin said hopefully. He still felt tears in his eyes.
- And why was she yelling at Captain Levi? It doesn't sound like her, and... SHE SCREAMED AT CAPTAIN LEVI. Damn, he beat up Eren in court, right?
- «Come on, Jean, that's enough», Mikasa said as she watched Y/N and Eren enter the barracks laughing after Captain Levi.
The guys decided to return to their groups. When Armin and Mikasa finally sat down, it was a breath of relief. They were glad to see Eren in good health, and also glad to see Y/N ALIVE, albeit a little unhappy.
All this month, Armin felt even weaker and more insignificant than before. Now, seeing her, he wanted to fight again, wanted to live, because she was in this world. He missed her so much. He regretted that he hadn't found the strength to hug her when he saw her. He couldn't even say anything. He just froze. He wanted to feel her warmth again, to see the smile on her face, to hear her light laugh, to see the fire of curiosity in her eyes, which would look at him with tenderness. «I can still keep my promise. I won't leave you, Y/N»
***
In the morning, the scouts headed for Calaneth. Y/N, with the support of Captain Levi, persuaded Commander Erwin to allow her to travel with them to Calaneth and wait for them there along with a group of medical scouts. The road to Calaneth took them only 15 minutes, the journey through the city was a little longer. Further, the scouts made final preparations, checked that all smoke flares, the necessary equipment, etc. were in place. Y/N also assisted in this process. In the last minutes of preparation, she saw Armin in the crowd. She couldn't restrain herself and decided to approach him.
- Hey, Armin...
Armin, who had his back to her, turned to face her. A smile appeared on his face in an instant.
- Y/N, I'm so...
He didn't get to finish. She hugged him tighter than she'd ever hugged him before. And no more words were needed. He was fine, she was fine. They froze in each other's arms, enjoying the feeling they yearned for so much.
- By horses! We're leaving!
- Y/N, I want...
- «Don't die, okay? I owe you an explanation, and I will repay the debt», Y/N gently pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes. «I missed you, Armin»
- Me too, Y/N...
It was time for them to go. The scouts moved in a single column led by Commander Erwin. People took to the streets to watch the procession. Y/N stood in the crowd. She could be with them. But...
«Next time I'll be there»