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My skin's thick, but I'm not bulletproof
Try to numb myself like when you goin' to pull a tooth
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Chapter 34
Renny's Pov.
"Zayn you killed it!" I complimented, him immediately picking me up in a hug.
I feel like over the last day we've spoken more than we ever have, which is awesome because i've always liked him. I love all of Cyrils friends to be honest.
"Thank you! I feel great after that to be honest." "Eh, you did fine." Shiloh complimented with a shrug as he watched the rest of the skaters finish up.
I smirked at Zayn who just sent one back.
Shilohs acting like a hardass once again.
It's now 11pm and we're about to head home after they place everyone. Zayn literally won one of the first tournaments of the day and came in third in another. This is his third one and he did insane. It makes me wanna learn to skate even more.
My legs were draped over Cyrils lap in the stands they had out here.
I haven't heard from Harry today at all. I've kept myself pretty busy today though so I didn't notice it too much but now it's getting closer to night and i'm wondering what he's doing.
"What's going through that busy mind?" Cyril mumbled to me quietly. "Hm? Nothing." "Don't gotta lie to me."
I sighed and shrugged.
"I'm just a bit tired if i'm being honest."
I looked around at the Boston skyscrapers around us and smiled.
"I like it here." "Me too. We'll come back just for a trip."
I smiled and nodded.
"And we can check out some restaurants and be all touristy." I smiled, him laughing with a nod. "Well of course we can."
I watched some skaters do tricks, all of them smiling when they land them in a way that made me smile myself. It's such a genuine kind of excitement when they land their tricks. All of them looking so badass, some kind of harsh, some really laid back but when they finish their session or land a good trick, they truly show a smile. A kid-like excitement evident on their faces.
I like it.
Zayn went to talk to some guys and I leaned over a bit more to Cyril.
"Think Zayn and Shi will finally talk?" I asked quietly, Shiloh far enough away to where he couldn't hear. "I hope so. I think Zayn really likes him but they either need to agree to be something or just be cordial. We're all friends and I wouldn't want it to be weird."
I nodded, agreeing with him fully.
"Guess we'll see." I chuckled, him giving me a deadpan look. "We both know Shi won't talk about shit with Zayn."
"I can hear you guys you know?" Shiloh said, both of us laughing. "Sorry." We laughed.
He flipped me off and went back to being on his phone.
Harry's Pov.
Saturday Afternoon
I walked into the bar, immediately kind of annoyed because i'm not in the mood for this event today.
As soon as I walked in, Renny was leaned against the bar on her phone.
Edie's truck wasn't outside so I assume he went to take a deposit to the bank and there was only two men at the other end of the bar watching a game.
She looked up, realizing it was me and smirked at me.
That fucking smirk.
She's in just black leggings and a sweatshirt today, more laid back than her usual outfits.
I took my time walking around the counter but as soon as I got in front of her, I let my hips pin hers to the bar, my arms caging around her until I let one move her hair, looking at her neck and then the other side.
"What're you doing?" She laughed, the sound threatening a smile on my face but I held it back.
"Checking for hickies that aren't mine." "Oh fuck off!" She laughed, slapping my hand. "There's none. If you would like to give me one though, I wouldn't complain."
I smirked as she put her arms around my neck.
"I didn't get any evidence. I was disappointed." I mumbled, the warm scent she's always wearing filming my nose. "You didn't message me yesterday...that's on you." "So I was punished for not talking to you huh?"
She shrugged, her eyes darting down to my lips for a second.
"A phone works two ways you know?"
She rolled her eyes.
"I like when it only works your way." She told me and I couldn't help the little smile on my face.
"So you're saying you touched yourself..." I whispered so the people at the end of the bar wouldn't hear. "but didn't show me because I didn't message you?" "Yes. What if you were with someone else and then I sent that to you?"
I rolled my eyes, her obviously saying that to get a rise out of me.
"I wasn't with anyone and you know it. It would've made my night a lot better to get that."
She smiled and hugged her arms tighter around my neck.
"Make it up to you tonight?" She innocently asked and I hummed. "Fuck yes." I mumbled before kissing her, her little satisfied whine making my pants tight already.
Missed these fucking lips.
We literally spend days away from each other all the fucking time. It's just after the night at her place the other day, it's like we both feel like a day is a fucking year. I don't understand.
The bell on the door sounded, both of us pulling away from the kiss as I went to lean against the counter across from her.
Tyson.
Fuck, I forgot he was coming to get some files before the event tonight.
We still haven't spoken since he left my place the other night.
"Hi Tyson." Renny smiled, oblivious to our tension. "Hey Renny, how was your little trip?" "It was fun! Boston is really pretty." She smiled, him returning it as they made some more small talk before he looked at me, his smile falling a bit.
"I need those files."
I nodded, going to the back, hearing him behind me.
I opened my office and grabbed the files out of my top drawer, handing them to him.
"I'll get them back to you tonight." He simply said before turning around and walking out.
Well fuck. That kinda...didn't feel nice. That felt weird. I hate that it felt fucking weird.
I sat in my chair and sighed.
What do I do about that? We're not about to have some fucking heart to heart. He compared Ren to Niall. He shouldn't have even put their names in the same sentence. He knows how worried I get about Ren. I've never told him but I know he can tell. He clearly notices more than I realize.
After a few minutes, Renny was at the doorway of my office. "So what happened?"
"What do you mean?"
She pursed her lips, "It's obvious something happened with you two. What happened? Did you have a fight?"
Damn. How'd she notice that?
"Kind of. Doesn't fucking matter."
She just stood in the doorway, her eyes looking a little defeated at my harsh response.
'I don't know why the fuck Renny puts up with you but I see you talk to her differently. You're not so fookin detached with her now — and it's a good fookin look on you.'
"We got in a fight over some shit this weekend. He left my place fucking angry and we haven't talked about it." I gave her more clarity, feeling like I should at least continue talking to her about small stuff.
"Was it important stuff you were fighting over?"
I shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that.
"I mean...to him i'm acting a certain way he doesn't like. He bitched about it and said some stuff he shouldn't have said. That's all." I revealed, her sitting in the chair in front of my desk now.
"Do you think maybe you're acting a way you shouldn't be acting though?" "Renny...look, i'm not gonna talk about it. It's personal."
She slowly nodded and stood up.
"Fine." She softly said and started walking out.
"Wait." I stopped her and she turned back to look at me. "You can at least come here first."
She smirked and sighed.
"You're not being very open nor fun so I don't know if i'm super into you right now." She shrugged, my brows knitting together at her words that I didn't like.
"I told you more than I normally would so I think i'm being quite open actually and i'll be fun when we get to my place tonight okay? Now come here."
She took her time walking over to me but suddenly she was between my legs, leaning over to cup my face.
"You haven't shaved...I like it." "Mm yeah?" "Yeah...it's really hot on you." She smirked before kissing me, my arms pulling her to rest on my body.
Her tongue lightly brushed against my tongue in the kiss before her had pulled my hair just lightly.
"Don't make me take you on this desk." "Wouldn't be the first time." She mumbled into my mouth making me chuckle. "Miss feeling you."
She hummed, deepening our kiss as I let my hands squeeze over the curve of her ass.
"Let's skip the event." She breathed into my mouth making it so fucking hard to not just say yes to whatever she wants. "If I could I would. I'd choose laying you down and fucking you all night in a heartbeat."
She whined into my mouth, the kiss getting more heated and sloppy.
"Edie's not out there, I have to go back out."
I groaned, not wanting her to leave this office. I want her all to myself.
"I wanna touch you." I mumbled and she slowly pulled away from me, leaving two more pecks on my lips. "Tonight. Okay?" She breathed, a flush look on her face.
I let out a frustrated groaned and nodded.
"Fine."
She leaned back down, kissing me a couple more times in playful pecks making me smile.
"Best kisses of your life huh?"
I rolled my eyes playfully and motioned for her to leave.
"Not at all. Out. I need to be alone."
She threw her head back in a laugh and walked out.
"At least put a do not disturb sign on your door." She spoke before closing the door.
Renny's Pov.
I walked out of my apartment, shocked to see Harry's Maserati and not Edie's truck.
I thought Edie would pick me up.
My little black silk dress blew a bit with the windy weather and I squealed, keeping it down as I walked to his car.
I opened the door and he was dressed in a suit, still not shaven and looking like a fucking meal.
He's so fucking good looking. I'm literally soaking and I just got in this car.
His hand reached after when I closed the door and pulled the front of my dress up, exposing my black panties.
"Like these...got a view of them a minute ago." He mumbled as if he was in his own world.
I knew he probably saw them when my dress blew up.
I grabbed his hand softly, pulling his fingers to my center, his eyes not leaving his hand as I used his fingers to push them aside.
He knew exactly what I meant, suddenly brushing up my soaked center, his head falling against the head rest.
"You just got in here and you're fucking soaked." "You look really good." I innocently said and suddenly he locked the doors and grabbed my waist, pulling me over to him as I chuckled.
I straddled his waist in the drivers seat as he let his seat all the way back.
I went for his pants and undid them, him immediately pulling them down to his knees.
"We've got five minutes okay baby?" "Okay." I smiled , his soft use of baby making me get a funny feeling as he pushed my panties aside, dipping his fingers into me but pulling them out and sucking on them.
"I want to eat your pussy so fucking bad right now Renny. I haven't properly eaten you out in way too fucking long." "Tonight. As much as you want." I mumbled as I kissed him and he started fingering me.
I whimpered into his mouth as he used two fingers now, feeling way more warm now that even a piece of him is inside of me. I'm starting to feel more like myself, more warm, more safe when he's touching me than when he's not.
It's terrifying.
Before we even got the chance to go further, his phone rang, him groaning as he grabbed it from the console.
"It's Tyson." He grumbled, his fingers still moving inside me.
I stopped and pushed at his hand, him furrowing his brows at me while he moved his hand.
"Answer it. You said you guys needed to talk." "I didn't say that." "Well you guys need to talk so i'm saying that."
"Renny, i'm trying to have sex with you right now." "I know." I laughed with a head shake. "We have all night though. Answer it, pull up your pants and we'll finish this later."
I told him, pressing accept on his phone, him glaring at me in the process.
"What?" He answered as he held the phone between his shoulder and his ear, pulling up his pants.
I slapped his arm at his harsh tone with Tyson.
He shrugged at me like he didn't understand. I just huffed and rolled my eyes as he pulled off.
"Wait, tonight?" Harry said, suddenly sounding confused, a harsh look once again on his pretty face that was so relaxed and soft that even had a little smile playing on it just minutes ago.
"No. He never even spoke with me about that. Don't fucking let the guy in."
Harry started speeding up, my anxiety spiking just a bit by not knowing what's going on.
"Threatening what?"
Suddenly he took a deep breathe and scoffed.
"I'm almost there. Renny's with me. Just don't fucking let the other guy in."
He hung up and took another deep breathe.
I felt like he might snap at me for asking but I asked anyways, "What's wrong?"
He shook his head.
"Nothing for you to worry about. When we get here, Edie's gonna walk you into the back. Just go straight to my side of the back okay? Edie will be back there and I will too once I get this shit sorted out."
I was gonna argue about how he's still pretty much treating me like a kid but I understand he's visibly stressed and i'm gonna pretend this is for a good reason that I have to be watched all the time and walked anywhere I wanna go.
He parked out front as we pulled up and he sighed.
"Don't talk to anyone that's up front when we walk in. Okay? Just tell me you won't."
He looked frustrated so I nodded.
"Fine. Who's in there though?"
He unlocked the doors and grabbed his phone, putting it into his pants pocket.
"Grimaldi." He grumbled and I raised my brows in shock, not expecting him to say that.
"He's the one causing the problem? What's he doing?" "Renny, just don't ask questions right now okay? It's not a big deal but don't talk to him. Go to the back. That's all I want you to do."
I huffed, getting out and walking around to the front.
"Renny." His voice spoke from behind me, feeling his hand on my waist. "I'm so fucking serious Renny. I just need you to listen to me okay?" "I said okay."
He took a deep breathe and went back to his car, mumbling something before looking back at me.
"Turn around."
I knew what that meant and I turned around before hearing his car door close and lock.
There's so much going on with Harry for him to carry a fucking gun everywhere, for him to have not given a clear answer when I asked had he killed someone before, for him to tell me he won't tell me certain things to 'keep me safe'. I want to know. I'm getting tired of this.
"Why are you bringing that?" I asked quietly as we walked to the door. "You know I bring it everywhere. Especially events."
I knitted my brows together, continuing to look forward.
"Except your apartment. You know I don't bring it in at your place." He clarified before getting to the door.
"Please just go to the back okay?" He asked, stopping me suddenly in front of the brick wall so no one could see us from the window. "I will."
He nodded, shocking me when his lips suddenly found mine in a quick kiss, opening the door when he pulled away, not giving me a chance to say anything.
Everyone's eyes went to us and fuck was it a lot of eyes.
Gerald.
He immediately smiled at me which I returned softly but I was getting a bad vibe immediately.
"Renny." Edie smiled, I could tell he was trying to bring Harry some peace in the situation when he gave him a soft nod.
Tyson and some guy were face to face having a very intense conversation but it interrupted when Harry walked over to them.
"C'mon. Let's go to the back." Edie softly told me and I walked with him to the back.
I spent the next 20 minute stressing out as I served people drinks before the event started, my eyes constantly going to the door to see if saw Harry, Tyson or even Gerald walked through.
Eventually Gerald and a few of his men walked through, my eyes waiting for Harry but he didn't come in.
I looked over at Edie and he was already looking at the door.
"I'm gonna go to the front for one minute. Nick is watching out okay?" He said and I nodded, looking towards the bartender Nick who gave me a reassuring nod.
I continued serving drinks, my shaky hands not hiding my obvious anxiety.
After about five minutes, Harry, Tyson and Edie all walked in.
I was on the far side of Harry's side and I could see his eyes searching for me, his brows furrowing more when he wasn't spotting me.
He worries a lot.
I walked more to the front so he could see me, his shoulders noticeably relaxing just a bit when he saw me, him adjusting his suit a bit before walking my way.
I don't know why I felt nervous but I did, walking towards him to meet him half way.
His jaw was noticeably tense and he looked mad.
"No one talked to you, touched you, nothing? You're fine?" He asked, shocking me when his hands landed on my hips.
I looked down at his hands just to let him know he had indeed put them there in front of everyone but he didn't move them.
"I don't care. Now answer me."
I nodded, not wanting to butt heads with him and say anything to piss him off even though I don't like his harsh tone with me.
"I'm fine Harry. What happened?" "I can't talk right now but tell me if they even try and speak with you. Okay? I hate that you're even here."
I knitted my brows together, having to remind myself how he meant that.
"Come and get me for anything. Okay?" "Okay. I know."
He dug his fingers into my hips, looking even more stressed than he did a second ago but he nodded and sighed.
"I'm going to my table."
I walked out from his hold with a nod and went about the rest of the night serving drinks with little to no problem.
A few people made small talk with me but I knew they meant no harm, being old and really sweet looking honestly.
A hand on my waist startled me and I turned around quickly to see Harry.
"It's just me." He reassured and I blew out a little breathe with a nod, having been paranoid most of the fucking night.
"I've gotta piss and you're coming with me."
I laughed with a confused head tilt.
"Edie's busy on the poker table and Tyson is busy...doing other things. So I want you to come with me."
So i'm assuming whatever Tyson is doing is something i'm also not supposed to know or whatever the fuck.
"Piss quick, i've got a job to do." I sassily said, hoping to ease his mood a bit. "Mmm i'll take my fucking time. I won't fire you for this break."
I rolled my eyes as I followed him out of the back, towards the front where the bathrooms were.
Once we got out of the back room, he walked towards the bathroom and turned to me as he opened it.
"Wait here. Don't wander off or talk to anyone."
I felt that fucking feeling I hate again.
"What? What's wrong?"
As if he could read me, he asked me that.
"We've had this talk Harry. You've got to stop." "Stop-" He started to ask until i'm assuming it hit him.
He ran his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breathe and nodding.
"You just don't get it Ren." "No, I do get it. You want to keep me safe and all of that which is why I don't say anything most times but this for instance, I feel like a child. I would've been fine in there and you know that." "And what if you weren't?!" He practically yelled, looking away and calming himself down as my body physically took a step back at the volume of his voice.
"I didn't want you here tonight because I didn't want to have to do this. I didn't want to be keeping my eye on you constantly, ordering you around, making you stay fucking silent all night with every player, making you come with me right now, none of this is what I wanted. I didn't want you coming here. I understand you want the money and I get that but if that's the case, i'll just make up for not letting you come by putting $2000 extra on your check every month because I can't fucking stand doing this Renny."
You know that one scene in Pretty Woman where he tells her he will hook her up with a nice place, pay for it, get her whatever she needs so she'll stay near him? He told her he never made her feel like a hooker yet he had done just that in that moment. Okay, that's about how i'm feeling right now.
"Yeah because buying me will solve all of the problems." I quietly said with an unfortunate laugh.
"That's not what I meant Renny and you know it. You're nothing to fucking buy. That's the dead last thing I meant by that."
I nodded and pushed my hair off of my shoulder.
"I understand why you don't want me here. Don't fucking flip when I say this but...i'm looking for another job. I'm not taking $2000 as a fucking bribery. It's more dangerous that i'm here at all." "Then what? What does that fix if you quit?"
I rolled my eyes, tired of his mindset.
"I still want to do...this, whatever the fuck this is. I'm not saying we're gonna stop. That's not what I meant and I know that's why you get angry when I mention quitting."
He let out a frustrated sigh.
"Fine. Look for another job then but just...don't fucking rush it. You're fine here. I just don't like you here on event nights."
I nodded, feeling like this stress on him gets to him more than he says. It's evident on his face.
I gently placed my hands on this sides of his face as I stepped in front of him, gently kissing his lips.
"Stop stressing. Everything is fine. Okay?" I mumbled. "Mm." He hummed, kissing me now, feeling him relax just a bit in this moment, my body doing the same.
His soft lips held their place on mine for a long second before he slowly pulled away, much to my dismay.
"Wait here. Ive gotta piss so bad."
I laughed and nodded as he walked in and closed the door.
His office was right beside the bathroom door and in a quick moment, I decided to see if it was open and much to my fucking shock, it is.
I saw the files Tyson walked out with yesterday sitting on his desk now.
I looked towards the bathroom, not hearing much movement and taking that as him still peeing as I grabbed the small stack, looking through them so fucking quickly, trying not to get caught.
John Klein
Greg Fursten
George Halloway
Carter Vega
Gerald Grimaldi
My eyes widened as it landed on his name.
This is his fucking file.
Harry must not keep these here because none of these were here that day I looked. He brought these for Tyson to look through for whatever fucking reason and hasn't taken them home yet.
This is my fucking chance.
Where the fuck do I put it?
I heard the toilet flush and panic'ed, throwing the rest back down where they were before grabbing the file, sticking it in the band of my panties under my dress.
I need to get to my bag. Now. If he finds this on me he will flip.
I closed the door quietly and tried to adjust the dress that's thankfully silk and somewhat flowy and not tight.
He opened the bathroom door and brushed his hand through his hair.
"Alright, let's go." "I need to text Audie really quick. My bags in your car. I'll be quick but I forgot she was on a super sketchy date tonight." I lied.
He groaned and walked towards the front door.
"Be quick."
I smiled to myself and hummed, walking out as he waited by the front door outside as I walked to the other side where my bag was.
I slyly put the file deep in my bag and grabbed my phone.
To: Audie
i need your help. coming by the apartment after i get off before i go to harry's. i found something on gerald. hope your law school education comes in handy tonight.
Harry whistled at me and pointed at his watch.
"Hold on." I laughed, my phone beeping as I went to lock it.
Audie: oh fuck yes, i'm so in. we'll be finding some shit out, i can promise that.
I smiled to myself and locked my phone, putting it back in my bag and closing his door.
I just fucking hope Harry doesn't get mad if he finds out I have this. Hopefully he won't find out though.
I walked back up to him as he locked his door.
"One more hour and we're out. Okay?" He asked, his hands finding their way to the back of my neck as he
looked down at me. "Okay." I smiled and stood on my toes to kiss his lips.
"He said some shit about you tonight that I didn't like." He mumbled against my lips, his body tensing again.
I pulled away and looked at him with confusion.
"Gerald?" "Yes. That's why I wanted you to come out here with me. He made it very clear what goes through his head when it comes to you and it's fucking disgusting."
I felt my own body tense with anxiety until his hands rubbed down my arms in a reassuring way that he had never done.
"He's not touching you. That's not what I meant. He knows he can't touch you so there's nothing to worry about. I just didn't want him looking at you while those thoughts went through his fucking head if I wasn't in there."
I nodded, his hands going down to mine now.
"Tell me you aren't gonna rush on leaving the bar." He said quietly, obviously uncomfortable with his own words.
His eyes were innocent in the moment, almost insecure.
"I won't rush. Kinda getting used to seeing you everyday."
He smirked and nodded.
"And I know you wouldn't give up this face everyday for another job." "I could still get this face everyday at another job." I pointed out and he hummed.
"I guess you could yeah?"
His little 'yeah?'s make me fucking weak every time.
"Yes." I whispered with a lip bite, his eyes darting to my lips, me not giving him time to act on his thoughts as I pulled his arm back inside the bar.
"Can we stop by my place on the way to yours? I need to talk to Audie really quick."
He nodded as I intertwined our hands.
"Just be quick. I have plans with you that I need to happen before the fucking sun comes up."
I feel like i'm betraying him right now by taking that file...but i'm so in the dark with all of this even though it apparently has so much to do with me.
I deserve to know what's going on.