"He used me for a stupid video," I said, my voice hoarse from crying.
Johanna had just ambled into the room, hesitantly closing the door behind her. I was leaning back against the wall, sat on my bed with my feet dangling perilously over the edge. My head was back against the wall at a slant so I wasn't actually looking at Johanna.
"You don't know that," she protested softly, frowning.
After a moment of silence, my bed sank down in the corner and when I turned my head around, Johanna was perched on the edge. She was staring at me, concerned and tentative as if something might set me off at any point. I merely stared at her tranquil silence, even though I felt like this is the loudest I have ever been because of the thoughts screaming at me inside my mind.
"Who won the contest?"
Johanna sighed. "Jason did." Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"Figures." I may have sounded calm, but I was being extremely blunt to Johanna, even though I knew none of this was her fault and nor did she deserve this. "I'm sorry. Ignore me."
"It's fine."
"I'll probably just sleep now. I have nothing better to do this evening."
I stood up, leaving Johanna sat down on my bed as I located my pyjamas before pacing to the bathroom. I got changed before making my way back to my bed. Johanna was sat on her bed, her phone in her hands. It was one of the only times I had ever seen her on her phone as she was waiting for me to give up the bathroom. Once it was vacant, she ambled into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper at the end of the bed on the floor in prior to getting in bed, under the duvet. I turned on my side, my face facing the wall with my back to Johanna's side. Bubbles, dejectedly, was right in front of me. I closed my eyes, wincing but not allowing the tears to spill as I grasped Bubbles and sat him down on the floor, leaning against the cupboard so I wouldn't have to look at him.
I closed my eyes, getting as close to the wall as I could with the duvet only inches from covering my entire body, leaving my eyes and upwards free of my head. Johanna came marching out of the bathroom, turning the light off before dumping her clothes in her hamper and turning the light off to the room. She got into bed, too and in the silence that dwelt, we both fell asleep – her finding it easier than me.
The next morning, I grudgingly got ready for Track in the morning. I sat with Johanna in the food court eating breakfast until I met up with Verity and we ambled to the changing rooms in silence. I kept my eyes up so I knew where I was going, yet rejecting all of the alien stares and sniggers I was receiving in my wake.
I was desperate to find out the truth about the whole ordeal with Jason.
Track was a gloomy matter. Ruby didn't even attempt to cease talking about the moronic talent contest the preceding night and instead, kept up the conversation to everyone but Verity. She even said, "So, Tiegan, did you like Jason's act? I didn't know he could sing so well," to me. I blatantly ignored her.
Coach Kate declared that there would be another competition again very soon to substitute for the winter competition we missed. The spring one will be in the Easter half-term. At the moment, I wasn't too thrilled about the competition but with Ruby smirking at me from my peripheral vision, I knew I had to act like I did care. She saw the video yesterday, unquestionably. She had proof that Jason only did everything he did for me because of a stupid music video. I didn't know he could sing, though.
I got changed after Track in silence, Verity fabricating an excuse by saying she really needed the bathroom so she hurried up and then left, darting out of the changing rooms. I was left on my own in my own solitude, despite Ruby and many other girls still on the opposite side of the room.
"It was a good contest," piped up Ruby, acknowledging the fact that she was loud enough so I could hear her. "The best singer won. Great music video, too – don't you agree, Tiegan?"
"Yeah, I do," I replied, shoving my clothes down onto the bench out of frustration. My anger had reached the perimeter now and I was ready to detonate. I marched forwards until I was only about two metres from Ruby. "I'm surprised, though. I'm surprised he didn't pick your bitch of a best friend of yours to take my place."
The girls gasped. Ruby's jaw fell ajar.
"Lea isn't a bitch!" Ruby hollered. "You're just jealous because you barely spent two months with Jason and she got nearly four years."
I laughed loudly. "Jealous? Jealous of someone who had to put up with Jason for four years? God, I'm surprised she didn't lose him ages ago. I thought she was a smart girl. Then again, she is still with you so that's arguable," I retorted. "Just leave, Ruby."
In silence, Ruby assembled her stuff and scurried out of the changing rooms. Many of the girls were gawping at me, immobile until I ushered them off. I turned around, shaking my head. My cheeks were probably scarlet right now, I pondered as I hauled the clothes into my bag. I would go back to my room first before grabbing lunch since it had only just gone eleven.
On the way walking up the stairs, I inadvertently bumped into someone. I was about to side-step them, not bothering to apologise when they grasped my arm. I lifted my head quickly, about to object and snap at them until I apprehended that it was Jason.
"We need to talk," he said.
With my silence as my only reply, I followed him until we got to his room. He made sure there was no one watching when we submerged into his room. Mercifully, Mark wasn't inside. Jason closed the door behind us and leaned against it. I was stood in the middle of the room.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, dropping my bag on the floor. "You humiliated me in front of the whole college," I continued, sagging my shoulders. "You made it seem like you were just with me for the stupid music video."
"I wasn't," he said. "I did love you. But the opportunity came up and I was going to tell you about it, but the right moment never cropped up. I let it go because I thought you'd understand. Then I saw you rush out yesterday."
"It was mortifying," I responded, "I think anyone would run out." I paused. "You don't love me anymore?"
"It's hard to tell," he protested, shaking his head and running a hand through his disbelieved hair. "No, I do love you."
"Then why did you break up with me? As far as I can tell, you only wanted me for the music video to win the stupid contest. Was your prize satisfying enough then? Was I worth it?"
"Tiegan..." he murmured. "Don't do this."
Jason stepped away from the door and stood in front of me. He kept moving closer until our chests were brushing against one another. I couldn't muster the strength inside of me to move away because candidly, I craved this. I had desired this since he had ended it. Maybe he wanted it as much as I do... or maybe I was delirious.
Jason brought his hand up and held it against my cheek. I leaned into it, closing my eyes and willing not to let the tears cascade down my cheeks. At the moment, I was good, but I couldn't validate that for in a few minutes time. Instead of saying anything, Jason leaned down hesitantly.
"I love you," he murmured.
His lips brushed against mine so quickly it felt like a blur. "Is that the truth?" I asked when he had pulled back.
"Nothing but the truth," he replied in the same hushed tone.
He leaned down again and this time, his lips were firmly placed on mine. The proverbial fiery feeling resurfaced, even more powerful than the last time we kissed and I felt like I had been struck by lightning. His kisses made me dazed as if I was high on something. Maybe I was high on him or his love, but either way, I knew I still loved him. The kiss just brought everything back.
As the kiss became more heated, he sucked on my bottom lip before letting his tongue glide against my own. My hands were on his cheeks, my bag on the floor forgotten as his hands moved down my body to my waist. The kiss continued for a few minutes until I pulled back, and Jason rested his forehead against mine.
"Congratulations on winning," I said.
"Forget about the contest. Damn it, I need you," he protested. His hands were still firmly on my waist.
"Then have me," I prompted. "Let me be your girlfriend again, Jason."
"On one condition," replied Jason, stepping away slightly so our hands dropped to our sides. I wore a quizzical expression whilst Jason's lips tugged into a smirk so the right side was higher than the left. "I get Bubbles back in my room for a little bit. I kind of missed him."
"Deal," I replied, finding myself chuckling for the first time in awhile.
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Author's Note:
So much crazy has happened - they are back together like damn. Would you guys make the same decision as Tiegan here? I think I would need more time lol.
Thank you :) x