Shawn's POV:
"Alright guys, Nationals are just a few weeks away, and it's time to bear down. Now, your singing at Regionals was amazing, but your dancing..." Mr. Shue says.
"Cough cough Finn Cough cough." I say and some people laugh while Finn gives me a dopey look.
"It's booty camp time. Let's get it going" Mr. Shue instructs "Five, Six, Seven, Eight!"
We start dancing to Loser like me and I'm off it. I'm not dancing as well as I used to. And I keep zoning out.
"Shawn. Shawn!" Would you pay attention please." Mr. Shue snaps me out of my daze. I shake my head and tell him sorry. This is literally taking over my brain.
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Sam's POV: (First character to have a POV besides Shawn and Santana is...Sam!
I noticed how Shawn isn't acting like how she used to. She used to be so great at dancing. I also noticed more things. She's not laughing all the time like she used to. She has bags under her eyes. Last week I offered her a rice cake and she said NO. Now I know something is wrong. I need to talk to her.
"Push yourselves guys, Vocal Adrenaline takes no prisoners." Mr. Shue says and just then Finn hits Rachel and she falls.
"Oh! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Finn helps Rachel who is holding her nose.
"I'm bleeding." She tells him.
"Let's get you to a doctor." Mr. Shue runs over to Rachel and helps her as well.
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Shawn's POV:
"Oh my god, your getting a nose job." Quinn says looking at Rachel's nose.
"I'm considering having a minor procedure to repair my deviated septum." Rachel answers.
"So a nose job?" Santana says confirming that they are the same thing.
"Look, I'm...I'm happy with the way that I look, okay? And I've embraced my nose. But let's say I wanted to have a slightly more demure nose. Like Quinn's for example. I-I would never change my appearance for vanity, but, I mean, the doctor said that it could possibly improve my talent, which would help us all for Nationals." Rachel says.
"Possibly? What about the risks? Your voice is amazing as is, Rachel." Mr. Shue assured her.
"Hold up. Could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel's got a bit of a schnoz. I mean, I wouldn't know because like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things that we wouldn't change about ourselves? I mean, I'm sure that Sam's been at the doctors office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyways. Shawn's parents are probably looking for a special teacher for her since she thinks the app brain pop is an app that makes your brain pop." She says and I turn red in embarrassment. "And I'm definitely sure that Tina's looked into getting an eye de-slanting.
"That's extraordinarily racist." Tina tells her. It is tho.
"I'm keepin it real." Santana shrugs.
"Sorry, Santana. I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself, and I would never change a thing." Tina confidently tells her.
"Is that why you're wearing blue contacts today, Tina?" Mike straight up exposes her "self-hating asian."
"Not many asian sex symbols, Mike. I'm just trying to be in fashion and mirror what I see in the magazines." Tina tells him.
"My eyes used to bother me. I mean how many people do you meet with 2 different eye colors? I used to get made fun of for it. And sometimes I'm still insecure about it." I tell them.
"Are you sure one of them isn't a glass eye?" Santana asked me smugly.
"No, they're real." I answer back.
My dancing kind of bothers me. Uh, it almost killed Rachel, but I like the way I look." Finn adds on.
"Oh please. You have weird, puffy pyramid nipples. They look like they're filled with custard, or you could dust them with powdered sugar and they could pass for some sort of dessert." Santana tells Finn and Sam tries to touch Finns nipples but he pushes his hand away.
"Look, maybe Rachel's fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is that if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it." Santana tells the whole class, but is talking about Rachel.
Then Mr. Shue yells at us about what we are saying and how it goes against everything we stand for. Even thought it was Santana saying all of that. Then he tells us the thing we want to change about ourselves is the most interesting part of us.
"Well maybe, but at this school, the thing that makes you different is the thing people us to crush your spirit." Mercedes adds.
"Yeah, Azimio keeps calling me a space freak because of my eyes. Which doesn't make sense but." I tell him and Rachel takes a seat.
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Santana's POV:
I was drawing on Quinn and Finns face over a poster. I can't believe Shawn let them run for prom King and Queen together. Quinn is probably cheating on her with Orca. But Shawn cheated on her with me so. And how dare Shawn deny me? I am so much more hotter than tubbers. Ugh, life isn't fair.
I should be prom Queen at this school. If I were prom Queen, I could get Shawn to drop tubbers and go for the real Queen. I deserve to be with Shawn, not stretch marks. That's never gonna happen. I'm not even out yet, and I don't have the votes. Unless, I could get the jock block.
"Jack Ryan, you've just boarded the Red October." Trouty says walking by "Sean Connery."
And god knows Sam doesn't have the heat at this school yet. Hold on, there's someone at this school who just might have the juice... Dave Karofsky. Just then I saw Dave look at Sam's ass when he was drinking water. Holy crap. I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing: I have awesome gaydar.
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I was staring at Shawn and Quinn as Quinn was rubbing whipped creme on Shawns nose. Ugh. Shawn is gonna be mine soon though.
"You haven't asked us anything about our New York trip." Mercedes tells Kurt and Blaine as we were in a cafe.
"Is it because it's too painful?" Tina interjected.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, but while the new directions are preparing to perform at Nationals, the Warblers are preparing to perform at a nursing home in a strip mall next to a National Bank." Kurt informs us "But I'm so proud of you guys."
"We miss you so much." Tina tells him genuinely.
"Isn't there any way you could come back to McKinley?" Mercedes asked with some hope.
"I told him, I would be all for it if it wasn't for Karofsky." Blaine confirms.
"Wait, what did you just say?" I snap out of my daze and turn to Blaine.
"Kurt needs to be safe."
"Okay, can we please change the subject?
That's it. Kurts the trick to winning prom Queen and getting Shawn, not to mention totally boosting our chances at Nationals. If I could get Kurt back, I'd be a hero. Even Quinn and Finn would vote for me. And the key. Karofsky.
"I've gotta gay—go. Go—I've gotta go." I correct myself. Shit, what is wrong with me.
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Shawn's POV:
I am in the hallway walking to Santana's class. Biology. She gets out of biology in a few minutes and I wanna talk to her. I can tell she is hurt that I denied her but I don't want to cheat on Quinn anymore.
I walk to the biology room and stop in front of it. I take out my phone to pass the time. A couple of minutes later, the bell rings, signaling class is over. The door opens and I watch as kids come out the classroom and wait for Santana to come out. When I see Santana walking towards the door, I move my head out of the doorway so Santana can't see me yet. Once Santana exits the classroom, I grab her hand and drag her towards the janitors closet.
"What the hell?? Shawn? Get off of me!!!" Santana growled at me while trying to take my hand off of hers but I ignore her and keep walking towards the janitors closet which wasn't that far away. Like 2 feet from us. Once I get to the closet, I open the door, look around the hallways to make sure nobody is watching us, and walk in while pulling Santana in with me. I lock the door and turn around to see Santana glaring at me harshly. Like she looks so angry.
"I'm leaving." Santana growled through gritted teeth and she flips me off before trying to unlock the door. I go over to her and stand in front of the door, stopping her from opening it.
"Please just listen to me? Please?" I ask Santana almost desperately and Santana sighs and rolls her eyes before folding her arms and stepping back. Ill that as a yes.
"Okay." I respond and take a deep breathe in before speaking again. "Santana, I'm sorry if you thought I didn't take your feelings seriously." I begin to apologize and Santana looks at me with a suspicious glare. "But I did, fuck I promise you I did. I think about them everyday. But Santana, I can't just leave Quinn for you. I love her and she's my girlfriend." I explain to Santana and she lets out an annoyed sigh and rolls her eyes at me. I step forward until I'm in front of her. "You have to understand that I do care about you. I want to help you Santana. I really do. I genuinely want the best for you. Even if you do make my life hell." I softly finish my statement and grab on of her hands gently. I kiss the back of her hand softly and look up into her eyes. Santana looks at me with a blank face. I can't read it. I raise an eyebrow at her and all of a sudden, she leans forward, cups my cheek and places her lips on mines.
I stupidly kiss back for a couple of seconds. I put my arms around her waist gently as she begins to stroke my cheek. Santana slips her tongue into my mouth and I softly moan. She slips her hand under my shirt and lightly caresses my stomach, erupting butterflies. She pulls away from my lips and begins to kiss my neck.
"Fuck." I softly moan out and I feel Santana smirk against my neck. She pulls away shortly snd immediately goes back to kissing me. As we continue to kiss, I remember what I am doing and I pull away from her gently.
"Santana, we can't, I'm sor-" I softly say while holding her waist but Santana cuts me off by putting a hand up.
"No I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't look into your eyes without kissing you. I'm sorry that I finally realized that your the person I want to be with. I'm sorry that you just pushed my feelings to the side like I was nothing." Santana beings to rant while pulling away from me and her tone of voice is getting frustrated. I look down disappointed in myself.
"So I'm sorry that I have feelings for you." Santana finishes with her voice changes from frustrated to disappointed. She looks at me with no emotions in her face but I can tell she is so heartbroken right now. Santana pushes past me harshly and unlocks the door. I turn around and watch as she opens the door, exits the janitors closet and slams the door behind her, startling me. I sigh and sit on the floor in the closet.
Tears begin to fall down my face and I look down at my hands.
Why can't I just decide who I want to be with?
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Santana's POV:
"I knew you'd ask me out eventually." Dave says in a cocky and smug tone and I roll my eyes. I'm a lesbian and your gay. Eww. "I'm kind of Duke Stud at McKinley." He continues while brushing the sleeves of his shoulders and I laugh.
"Give it up. I know." I answer him while shaking my head annoyed.
"Know what?" He asked pretending to be clueless.
"That your gay." I straight up tell him and fold my arms and his face drops.
"What? Who told you that?" He says getting nervous.
"No one had to tell me. First of all, I saw you checking out Sam's ass the other day. You know, you really need to be more careful with your leering." I said while shaking my head at how obvious he was being about his sexuality.
"I didn't. I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing." He tried to defend. Does he think I'm stupid or something?
"Like that's any less gay. Second of all, I know about you and Kurt. Remember last week before the benefit? About you being worried about 'the truth' getting out? Guess what? It's out." I nonchalantly say.
"Whatever they told you is a lie to mess with me. I'm going to kick their asses." Dave says in an aggressive voice while looking around the Lima Bean to make sure nobody is watching.
"Okay, you know what? Why don't you just settle down and let Auntie Tana here tell you a little story." I grab his hands and begin to tell him the story. "It's about you. Your what we call 'a late in life gay.' Your going to stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple kids, maybe become a state senator or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room tapping your foot with some page, and you know what? I accept that about you." I tell him with a fake smile.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked in an angry voice.
"Because I need you, and you need me." I look around before telling him "We play on the same team." I say softly and quietly while still looking around. I need someone to help me with this. And I also need to make that asshole Shawn jealous.
I can't believe she brought me to the closet we make out in just to fuck me over again.
"You're-" he starts before I cut him off.
"Look, I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top yet, either. Maybe in junior college." I tell him.l while shaking my head at the thought.
"This is garbage. I'm not...gay." He gets quieter when he says 'gay'.
"I'm trying to help you out here. Have you ever heard of the term 'beards?' Its when a gay man and woman date each other to hide the fact that they're gay. Like the Roosevelt's. So you and I are going to be each other's beards, and then we're going to win prom king and queen and rule the school." I tell him, more like instruct him.
"And what if I say no?" Dave asked with confidence in his voice and I smirk smugly at him.
"Then I'm going to tell everyone about you, and your life will be over. The only straight I am is straight-up bitch. You in or not?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow and he looks like he's thinking about it.
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(Shawn is next to Brittany and Quinn)
"Alright Finn!" Mr. Shue says as we cheer on Mike and Finn "Perfect! See, guys. Someone who's not afraid to point out something they're really bad at."
"But I'm getting better, right?" Finn asked.
"Don't even lie to him Mr. Shue. No Finn, your really not." I tell him and he frowns. "Mr. Shue, I want to the song I choose about self love."
"Ok Shawn. The floor is yours."
"This song is called "Hero" by Mariah Carey."
(Shawn is playing her guitar and standing in the middle of the room)
"Wow! That was amazing Shawn!!" Mr. Shue shouted and everyone clapped.
"Yea, your voice always amazes me." Artie says while clapping.
"Thanks guys." Everyone starts complimenting me.
I look at Santana and she rolls her eyes at me. I sigh before looking away from her.
She's really hurt over this isn't she? I need to get my feelings sorted out. And fast.
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"Ok, who's next? Mr. Shue asked
"Me, But I have to say something." Rachel said and ran up.
"So, as all of you know, I've had a few consultations with a doctor who specializes in rhinoplasty."
Tina comments "yes, we know. That's all any of us have been talking about. And we think it's a terrible idea."
"Okay. Blue eyes, you're such a hypocrite." Rachel shot back.
"I admit, yes, I don't like my eyes sometimes—the shape, the color—but your self-hatred, Rachel, has helped me see the light." Tina admits.
"I love myself." Rachel insecurity looks down.
"Not enough clearly. When you get a nose job, when you change your eyes, when you bleach your freckles, your just announcing to the world, 'I don't like myself very much'. The drams of this week have made me realize, if I don't have many Asian sex symbols to look up to, I have an obligation to maybe become one myself. My new mantra is 'be the change you want to see in the world.' Tina rants and I'm honestly proud of her.
"I love you so much right now." Mike says looking at Tinas eyes. Then they start making out.
"PDA." I say as Mr. Shue pulls them away.
"Besides Tina's abrupt personal transformation, the compositions came back from the doctor, showing what my nose would look like slightly altered, and I have to say, I'm really happy with the results. They are less Hebraic, and more Fabrayic." Why does that sound familiar?
"You just photoshopped Quinn's nose onto your face." I say shaking my head.
"That doesn't really look like you." Mr. Shue says.
"Right? It looks like my girlfriend." I add on while shaking my head with a laugh and look to the left. On the left, I see Santana glaring harshly at Quinn and my eyes widen. I quickly look away and look forward.
Then Puck goes on about how girls show up to him after their sixteenth birthday looking different. He also said there not as hot. Then Rachel says it's not about being hot, it's about finding something about you that you want to change. She also said it would improve her voice.
"Ok do you honestly believe that? Your nose has nothing to do with the way you sing." I say.
"Look if you guys aren't willing to support my decision, then I'm pretty accustomed to making it on my own. Then Finn convinces her not to do it and she still doesn't listen.
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"No way!"
"Hell no!"
"Why is he here?"
"Oh hell to the fucking no!" I shout seeing Dave in here.
Principal Figgins then usher us to be quiet.
"We don't care what he has to say." Finn replies.
"Shh. Now, I know David has had some issues in the past, but I have great respect for what he's doing right now. And I ask you to hear him out."
"How about we punch his face?" Sam says nonchalantly.
"Yea, get your fatass out of here!" I shout while flipping Dave off and he stands in the front nervously.
"Okay, that's enough, guys. Listen up." Mr. Shue says. He's always defending him.
"First, I just want to say how sorry I am for what I did to Kurt and for what I've done to a lot of you. I think I've slushied every one of you. I treated Kurt the worst, and I'm really ashamed of who I am and what I did."
"Well I don't know about them, but I honestly don't care for your shitty apologize, you homophobic asshole." I say nonchalantly.
"Why should we believe you?" Puck asked.
"You don't have to. I know I'll need to earn your trust. All I can say is that Santana has really helped me to see the light." He admits and my jaw drops. Santana?? What the hell?
"She showed me all these stories online about kids jumping off of bridges and hanging themselves because they were being bullied so bad. I couldn't believe someone could make another person feel that awful, but she helped me accept that I was one of those bad people, and I don't want to be anymore."
"Wait. Santana?" Quinn asked baffled.
"This glee club is not complete." Santana starts and walks next to Dave. I swear to god she better not say he's joining. "Not without Kurt. So I've taken it upon myself to try to rehabilitate Dave to see if maybe Kurt would consider coming back and help us win nationals. I did this for us, and then something funny happened." She grabs Dave's hand and interlocks it with him "Something...called love." Wtf?? I just threw up in my mouth. Ewwwww.
"I'm gonna be sick." Tina says with a disgusted face.
"I just threw up in my mouth." I say making a barfing face. Puck also makes a gagging face.
"I want Kurt to feel safe to come back, which is why Santana and I have started a new club—The Bully Whips." He's joking right?
"The name was my idea. We're going to be like guardian angels." Santana adds with a smile and I feel an ache in my heart. Is she trying to make me jealous or something? Cause it's working.
"I have deputized David and Santana and the rest of their club to roam the halls, identifying bullying and stopping it in its tracks." Figgins tells us while pointing at them.
"I'm planning on reaching out to Kurt personally, through Principal Figgins, to try to make amends. This is a chance to really change this place. I hope you can support us." Dave says with a soft smile and I lose it cause he can't not be serious right now.
"You can't be serious." I start and he looks at me confused. "Your the whole reason Kurt transferred and now all of a sudden you want to change? You fucking threatened to kill him. Just last week, you threw a kid in the dumpster. You can't change in one week. You can't start a club that stops bullying when you were just a bully not long ago. You actually still are one. Your a homophobic asshole and I've got my eye on you. I don't trust you." I say and slouch back in my chair.
"I agree with Shawn. You can't just change in one week." Finn defends and everyone hums.
"I know that and I hope I can prove to you I have changed Shawn." He says and I roll my eyes.
Something is going on.
—————————————————————
I was walking outside during lunch when I saw all the glee members near the steps.
"What's going on?" I asked passing by Santana, not looking at her.
"Well my fellow glee clubbers, it's noon, which means...it's official." Mercedes looks at her watch.
"What's official?" Sam asked.
"My transfer! Kurt Hummel's back at McKinley!" I hear Kurt shout from behind me and I run up to him and hug him tight.
"I missed you at school Kurty!!!" I say
"I missed you too Shawn, but I can't breathe." His voice was strained.
"Sorry about that." I let go of him and we walk down to the other glee members.
Kurt hugs everyone else. "Let's get ready for nationals." He says excited.
"Not yet. See there's a reason we're meeting here today." Mercedes tells him "There's some people that wanted to say goodbye to you, Kurt."
Just then the warblers come down the stairs. They say a few heartfelt words to him and thank him before singing a song.
(Shawn is standing with Quinn)
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(Shawn is dancing with Mercedes)
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So apparently, Lauren posted photos of how my girlfriend looked when she was younger. How could she do that? I thought we were friends.
"Hey." I say walking up to Quinn at her locker.
"Well, it's over." She tells me.
"What's over?" I ask her.
"My campaign. It's over. I'll never get elected prom Queen now." She sadly says.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that. Follow me." I say and she does. We stop in front of a few girls looking at the photo of younger Quinn. They say she's an inspiration and that she has their vote.
"See? That photo is inspirational. Quinn, this photo, is so beautiful. She is strong, brave, adorable, and those braces make her look sexy." I say and she laugh "what I'm saying is, no matter what you look like, you'll always be beautiful to me." I say and she gives me a hug.
"Thank you Shawn."
"Your welcome babe."
We walk to Zizes and I say
"What the hell Lauren? I thought we were friends." I say stunned.
"Sorry Weasel. I shouldn't have done that. And I'm sorry Quinn. But the good side of it is your polls went up." She says and Quinn and my back.
Then they start talking about hair colors and I got to find Santana. I have the perfect shirt for her. I know we haven't spoke since the janitors closet thing but I feel like this will help her.
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Santana's POV:
I was at my locker when Shawn came up to me. Oh my god.
"Santana, can we please talk? I want us to go back to making fun of each other and stuff like that." Shawn says in a sad tone while rubbing the back of her neck nervously.
"Well we can't. Feelings got in the way." I say bitchily while looking away from her and I roll my eyes annoyed.
"I know, I know. But we have that acceptance performance coming up and I was hoping we could just enjoy that." Shawn said while leaning against a locker and I close my locker softly and face her. I shrug nonchalantly and fold my arms.
"Hey, what do you think of my shirt for glee club?" She asked me with a smile while trying to change the subject and unzipped her sweater to show me a shirt that says "Heterochromia."
"What the fuck does heterochromia mean?" I asked confused while looking at her with a wtf face.
"It's when a person has two different eye colors. Can I see yours?" She asked while gesturing to my body and I open my jacket and show off my shirt that says "bitch". She looks at me with raised eyebrows.
"What? This is perfect. Legend has it that when I came out of my mother, I told the nurse she was fat." I nonchalantly tell her.
"I was hoping you would wear this one." She opens a shirt and it reads lesbian. LESBIAN?!
"I can't wear that. Put it down." I demand and she does.
"Look, Santana. I know your not dating Karofsky." She says.
"Yes I am." I lie.
"No your not. Besides, I know you know he's gay. I know too. I'm the one who caught him kissing Kurt while I was passing by." She whispered in my ear. My eyes widened
"Don't worry. I didn't tell anyone. I would never do that. No matter how much I hate him. I want you to be happy. You deserve it. You may not know it, but you inspire me. Without even trying, you taught me how to come up with good insults. Believe it or not, your insults made me stronger. And when your not being mean, your a way more funner person to be around. I want you to embrace yourself and love yourself for who you are. You don't have to wear it, but I would appreciate it if you did." She says and walks away.
I just stare down at the shirt.
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Shawn's POV:
So Rachel didn't get the nose job which is good. Her beak is fine the way it is. Now we are doing our performance. Artie asked where Santana was and Sam said she's probably making out with Karofsky. Yeah right. I hope not. Omg, do I have feelings for Santana??
(Shawn comes in after Mercedes and Tina and is wearing a Nike hoodie)
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Sam's POV:
Me and Shawn were watching tv when I decided to ask her.
"Shawn?" I say
"What's up Sammy?" She asked back.
"What's going on with you lately? Your always zoning out, you don't pay much attention in track anymore and you love that. You also haven touched a rice cake in a week. Carole thought you were sick." I say.
"It's nothing I just have a lot on my mind." She replies.
"Talk to me." I put my head on my knee.
"Ok so to start, I cheated on Quinn." She says, tears forming and my jaw drops.
"You what?" I ask in disbelief.
"I cheated on her. I know I'm a shit person for doing that to her." Her voice starts cracking up.
"With who?" I ask.
"I can't tell you that. If I do, I'd be outing her. And I can't do that. It's wrong." She says.
"Okay, is that it? It's not good but I need to know if there's anything else." I tell her.
"I have some sort of feelings for the other girl." She starts balling. I hug her.
"I don't know what to do Sam. I don't know who I want." She says and I feel so bad for her.
"Ok, ok. It's going to be ok. The first thing you need to do is tell Quinn. I'm not proud of you for cheating on her, but I will never judge you."
"I know I have to tell her. And I have to do it before prom. This is going to kill her." She cry's even more.
"It's better to do it now than later. Have you had sex with the other girl? Does she know about your? You know." I say making head gesture.
"No, she doesn't know about it. Not even Quinn knows." She confirms.
"It's ok Shawn, it's ok." I hug her until she stops crying. I know this seems kind bad, but I've had a crush on Quinn for a while now. I know, crushing on your best friends girl. But I can't help myself. I would never make any moves on her while she's dating Shawn. And I won't even do it just after the break up. I'll give her time and maybe see where it goes. What Shawn doesn't know is that I know the other girl is Santana. I saw the kissing in the classroom one time. I was waiting for Shawn to come to me and I'm glad she did.
Only time can tell what happens from now on.
So Shawn told Sam she cheated on Quinn and Sam knows the other girl is Santana. Sam also has a crush on Quinn. 👀 lots of drama coming.