Back To Lima Heights - Santana Lopez

Season 4 Episode 12: Naked

"Yeah!! Whoo!!!" We all cheer and applaud as we finally sit back in the choir room. Sam, Finn, Trent and I exposed Hunter and we won sectionals. It was by default but whatever. Finn writes regionals on the board.

"Alright people, we are back!" Finn yells excitedly. "First of all, big props to Shawn and Sam for all their hard work to make this happen." Finn says and me and Sam hi five. "Give it up for Sham everybody!" Finn yells and everyone cheers for us.

"But... there's no time to celebrate. We just lost three weeks of prep time for Regionals, and we still have to raise $400 to pay for the bus to get to the competition in Indianapolis." Finn explained and we all look at each other.

"It's the Paris of Indiana." Artie mentioned with a nod of his head.

"I propose a bake sale." Finn states and I shake my head. "I mean... it worked last time."

"Well that's because Puck spiked the cupcakes with Mary Jane." Artie tells him.

"I'd be willing to cut off my hair to sell it for extra cash." Joe says and my eyes widen. Joe without hair??

"To who? Jamaican kids with Rastafarian cancer or as rigging on a haunted pirate ship?" Kitty asked him smugly.

"Joe, you without hair is scarier than Stephen Kings movies. And those make you want to sleep in your parents bed." I say to him with a sigh and he nods with a shrug.

"I could sell more of my semen." Sam suggested with a shrug and I give him a disgusted look.

"Dude, your disgusting." I say while fake barfing and shaking my head.

"Hey bro, you have to do some shit for survival." Sam puts on a proud look like he just gave the most inspirational speech ever. What a dummy.

"This is silly. I know exactly how we're gonna get the money." Tina stands up and walks to the middle of the room. "The men of McKinley calendar. Let's face it— this is the cutest crop of Glee boys we've ever had." Tina tells us.

"That's great. And it's January, so it's the perfect time to sell them." Marley tells us.

"There are six guys, so each one can take two months. I think Blaine should definitely be December. You can do a Santa thing but sexy. Sexy Claus." Tina states. Why do I feel like she imagines Blaine as a sexy Santa? Cause that was too specific.

"I'm in as long as I can take my shirt off." Sam says in a goofy voice.

"Wait, why does it have to be just the men? Why can't we objectify the girls too?" Artie asked. Cause you guys do it all the time.

"Cause girls are the ones that buy stuff. We're responsible for the consumer-driven economy. Those Twilight books are poop on paper, and we've turned them into a billion-dollar industry." Kitty tells him.

"Team Jacob." Unique looks at Joe and does a hand gesture. He thinks her hand out to hi five him, so he does just that.

"This could actually work. Tina... your in charge." Finn gestures to Tina with both of his hands. "You an set up the photo shoots. Everyone else, pick your months and work on your concepts." Finn agrees to the idea and we all clap.

"Good job, Tina!" Brittany congratulates her. We all cheer for her.
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"Hey Blaine." Tina says as I was waiting for Blaine to finish at his locker. "Will you please go to the mall with me after school? I want to go clothes shopping."Tina asked him, ignoring me.

"What am I? Chopped liver?" I asked.

"Not now Shawn." Tina growled at me and I put my hands up in defense.