Back To Lima Heights - Santana Lopez

Season 4 Episode 18: Shooting Star

Shawn's POV:

"I hold in my hand, ladies and gentlemen, our competition for regionals." Mr. Shue announces and we cheer. "Drumroll please. He asked and we pat our thighs rapidly. "From... North Central High School in Indianapolis, the Hoosierdaddies." He says and I snort softly. What type of name is that?

"What type of name is that?" I say laughing and he shakes his head with a smile.

"That's very clever." Tina states. Um.

"And from Our Lady of Perpetual Loneliness in Battle Creek, Michigan, the Nun-Touchables." He announces and everyone starts talking all at once.

"Wait, is that a convent?" Blaine questioned.

"Guys, I like our chances against both these squads, but we still got a lot of work to do." Mr. Shue explained and Brittany stands next to him. Where did she come from??

"Mr. Shue, please stop talking. I have an announcement. I regret to inform you a deadly asteroid is headed our way." Brittany says. I thought it was fake?

"Wait, didn't we just go through this at Christmas?" Blaine asked confused.

"Yeah, and is it true you and Sam got married? Did that happen?" Tina asked.

"Yes it did." I raise my hand. "Me and Santana were there. It was so beautiful." I fake cry and dramatically sob.

Kitty slaps my shoulder.

"Stop being so dramatic." She says rolling her eyes and I chuckle.

"Also, shut up Tina. I'm naming this comet Tubbington-Bopp, and it's headed straight for Lima." Brittany added.

"Wait, so it's an asteroid or a comet?" Artie asked confused.

"It's both." She replied.

"Wouldn't NASA know something about this?" Marley questioned confused.

"We can't trust NASA. I mean, last month a meteor exactly like Tubbington-Bopp hit Russia with no warning at all."

"Oh, so now it's a meteor." Artie says.

"That's right Artie, and when this meteorite hits, I will not be spending my time in this room preparing for regionals. I will be spending my last hours making amends with somebody who I need to get right with. Somebody who I love never much." Brittany says and Sam smiles. "Lord Tubbington." She says and I hold in a laugh.

"Wow. Damn Brittany, your gonna do Sam like that?" I say laughing.

"I do love Sam, but I need to make it right with Lord Tubbington." She tells me. I laugh again. "So, go back to your homes and hide your wife, hide your kids and hide your wife." She repeats. "McKinley High, I salute you." Brittany finishes and leaves.
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Santana's POV:

I was walking back home from the hairdresser when I heard a voice speak to me.

"Hey." I look next to me to see a lady sitting there on the floor. She looked like she was in her early 30s, Carmel skin, greasy hair and dirty clothes.

"Could you get me something to eat? I'm really hungry and I haven't ate in days." She tells me.

"Okay, lemme see if I have." I open my bag. Then I hear the lady yell.

"Watch out!" She yells. "I turn around to see a man charging at me. When he gets close enough to me, I knock him in the head. He fails to the ground. I step on his stomach with my heel.

"Next time you try to take my purse, Lima Heights won't be the only thing I'll do to you." I press my heel harder into him.

I pull out my phone and call the cops. 5 minutes later, they come and I explain everything to them.