Where I Belong

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

The video next to this is one of my fav songs. I heard it on the movie Vanilla Sky, and fell in love with it. As usual, I love sad songs and movies:P

So it's been a couple days since I last updated but I've been getting writers block even when I already know the ending! Just not sure how to get there yet so stay tuned lovelies! And thanks for the support!!

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SummerKisses

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

It had been over a month and Santana was just starting to feel somewhat like her old self again. Each day, she’d smile and say “I’m fine,” to whoever asked if she was okay. Nesta had said multiple times that it would get easier to live with the tight heavy feeling covering her chest like a vest of steel weighing down on her.

Nights were the worst; she’d sleep while dreaming of Nova when they were happy in love, and he was alive. Sometimes his warmth would be around her, as if he was still amongst the living, trying to protect and hold her close. It was suffocating and Derek would barge into her room at night while she’d hiss at him to get out angrily. But he’d set himself down on the bed and pull her into a secure embrace. The tears would drip down her cheeks and he’d whisper soft loving words to her and say “I’m here sweetheart,” his voice strong and persuasive.

She guessed that it was their mate bond, which wasn’t as strong as the one she had with Nova. She felt a bit of his emotions once in awhile, but not the way she felt with her real mate. With Derek, she felt like he was a one of her best friends, just a bit electrifying when touching. Not that much, but still a small spark. The bond with Nova was passionate, mastering, and powerful. All she wanted was to have him back alive. It was seriously going to kill her. She knew she wouldn’t be able to last long, fooling others but Derek and Damon. Nesta probably knew; she was a witch so of course she would. Just the closest people to her knew what was going on. Hadyn stopped pestering her about it when she found out her pups would be coming soon. That was one thing that Santana looked forward to; it was what she needed in her life desperately.

When she realized that she had to move on, most of her time was spent at the training field, becoming stronger and toned. Her body was in shape, muscled, and when people saw her it said ‘don’t mess with me.’ Just her impassive expression intimidated others but was just the numbness deep in her soul illustrating across her face. There was talk among the pack members that she lost it back when Nova was killed. And then others said it was for the better; she was stronger and improved as a leader. She looked like she had already taken over as Alpha of the Star Pack. Her father let her do what she wanted, but at times would call her on things. She’d go too far in pushing pack members over their limits when sparring with them; some would be out for days from exhaustion. The members with mates weren’t too happy about that, but they couldn’t say their problems to her face as it wasn’t worth the punishment. Ever since then, something in her broke. Even her friends called her on it, saying she was losing her humanity to her wolf. That she was letting the animal take over.

“Hey, what’re you doing over here sweetheart?” Derek’s soft voice interrupted her thoughts.

She looked around at the scenery and breathed in deeply. Just recently, she found a new spot not too far away from Nestas house; which was basically her home as well. There was a small little meadow around twenty minutes away, the grass was tall and horribly dried out; but she liked it anyways. And there was a small little waterfall that flowed down into a creak over a rocky cliff that splashed into a deep natural pool. She’d come there to bathe naked secretly, but now it wasn’t so secret because he just had to show up. However, right when she thought it, guilty feelings erupted from within her. Derek was always there, right beside her every step of the way; even Damon, who let her punch him like crazy when the anger got out of control. She didn’t understand why he did, but most likely it was because he loved her. Those two really did care about her, and behind the wall that separated her new self from the old self…Was a girl that wanted to break it down and love them back just the same.