Justin Bieber Imagines [interracial/bwwm]

My Belieber Story

I was tagged by donnybear (because she's obsessed with me)

I am tagging.. *drum roll*  deniseworks

I honestly don't even know where to start this story or how to tell it so bare with me. lol

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When I first heard Justin, I was on vacation in Wisconsin Dells (it's like a little city full of water parks, haunted houses, amusement parks, restaurants & other fun stuff if you don't already know). My family and I were in the car going in freaking circles looking for some place that my dad couldn't find because he never wants to listen to anyone else's directions and he still hasn't changed to this day but okay. As you can see I'm still upset about this. I remember it so vividly, but anyways, moving on..

While we drove around I was looking out of the window, bobbing my head to the radio. I knew none of the songs that were coming on. Maybe a couple but not a lot because it was a station I had never even heard of, obviously, since I'm from Chicago.

As I was listening to the radio One Time came on. Whenever I hear a new song that sounds good all around (vocals, lyrics &  beat), I pause everything I'm doing and focus solely on the song so that I can actually hear it so that's what I did. I was so in love with that song from the first listen. I had never heard anything about Justin before this moment. I remember wondering who sang it and why I never heard it before and just thinking "wow I really like this song" lol

After that, One Time kept coming on over and over on the same station, which was weird, but every single time I paused everything and listened. I even asked my mom to turn the radio up so I could hear it better. The only other person to have that big of an impact on me after the first listen is Chris Brown so Justin was my fave even before I knew his name tbh.

I don't remember exactly when I saw the video for One Time but I don't think it was much longer after that. I think I was watching tv & it came on & I was so excited thinking "omg that's the song I like! omg that's him!"  lol

I don't even remember what happened after that. I don't think I really searched him at that point. Somehow I heard a lot of his songs, though, so I probably did. I probably searched some of his videos but I don't know. That whole time period is a big blur in my mind for some reason. I just know that I was always recognizing him and paying attention when I saw his face or heard his voice (this hasn't changed either) .

I wasn't a big belieber even though he had that big of an impact on me just from that first listen. I still claimed that title though and hated when anything bad was said about him. Back then all of the hate was just absolutely stupid. It still is but people didn't like him because he hadn't hit puberty yet like how idiotic is that argument?! He never even sounded like a girl in my opinion, he sounded like the little boy that he was. That still annoys me to this day. lol

It wasn't until around the Believe era that I really became a full on stan. It had a lot to do with puberty hitting him like a 18 wheeler truck, too. I will admit that. At that point I searched everything about him. I stalked his tweets, watched his previous movies and sooooo many interviews. I knew when he was going to be on tv and actually remembered to watch it which is huge for me since I don't remember many things. I even defended him when people that I knew & followed talked about him on twitter.

I mean, I went IN. I earned the Belieber title at that point. I didn't have Bieber Fever, I had pneumonia because that's how invested I became. lol

I think it all happened for a reason, though, because July 8th, 2012 my older brother committed suicide. It hit me hard. I've never felt pain like that before and I honestly never want to again. I went through a period of depression that was very deep and dark in the beginning. Since he died in the summer, every day after that I just slept. All day and all night. I would wake up for like two mintes and just go back to sleep. I'm not even exaggerating either. That's all I wanted to do and all I could do at that point. Ecen when school started I was like a zombie. I'd talk to and laugh with people but I felt so empty. I didn't even care what I looked like. It was extremely hard for me to accept and deal with the facr that he was/is gone.

It was really hard on my mom, too, since that was her first born, her son. She also fell into a deep depression and even went through a suicidal phase herself. I did, too, but I knew I couldn't go through with it because of how hurt everyone was. I didn't have the guts to anyway if we're being honest. lol I also knew that I had to be strong for her and my little brother who really didn't even know what was going on. That time was really crazy. We all were hurting, even my dad even though that wasn't his biological child, but we never talked about it. It's still kinda awkward to talk about him to be honest.

Even though my depression lasted for about a year or two after that, it lessened the more that time went on and the more that I listened to music. A couple of Chris Brown's songs and Justin's Be Alright got me through so many nights where I just wanted to cry or couldn't sleep. That's why I think that I became so involved with Justin right before this happened. I listened to Be Alright a lot. I felt like a lot of the lyrics were for me specifically at that time. It made my sadness and hurt and anger go away at night and relaxed my mind just so I could get enough sleep for school. I really feel like God worked through him in order to help me.

He helped me so much just by making that one song. I want to tell him about it one day and just thank him a million times. I appreciate him so much, like, he'll never understand the amount of love I have for him. When I took my little brother & niece to see Believe, he inspired me so much. He made me want to get up and go become a pop star or something. lol "Anything is possible" was always a quote that I lived by but I felt like I could do absolutely anything when I saw that movie. lol

I hope we can be besties one day because he's amazing in every way possible. He's perfect to me, flaws and all, honestly. I wanted to break my no marriage rule just for him but changed my mind once I became friends with someone who was just as much or even more in love with him. lol

So, yeah, that's my belieber story. Sorry if it's too long or depressing. Thanks for reading it anyway. I love all yous beautiful faces even if I can't see them lol ♡