The Eight | A BTS Soulmate Fic |

Chapter 82

Soon enough it was time for their Lotte Family Concert. The members had been working so hard to make this a big event, just like all of their concerts. And after being on tour for over a year, they were all exhausted and needed a break. Thankfully, after that concert, they only had meetings to go over a few things the next day and then they'd be off for a whole month.

   The Muse was feeling bittersweet about the break. The mix of emotions was almost too much. One minute she was thrilled to relax and not have a schedule. The next, she was nearing tears because she wouldn't even see her husbands during that time unless they called for her, and she didn't see that happening. Then, she was angry at them for doing this to her. To them. To their child. That last one wasn't fair and she knew it, but in her hurt and her anger, she didn't care about fairness.

    Her husbands did look at her, though. A lot. They tried to make it inconspicuous so the managers and others didn't notice, but she noticed. She felt it. She knew they missed her, she could feel it coming off of them in waves. But they insisted on continuing down this path they created. They wouldn't come to her, accept her despite what the managers wanted, so she continued on with the internal argument on whether she should stare at them and fall back into the well of longing she wanted to drown in, or pretend she was fine and ignore them all. It was hard either way, if she was honest. 

     But, her baby girl brought so much solace and love into her dark world. Walking the path of flowers became her favorite pastime, and she found herself staring at that tiny little one more and more as the days passed. It was her happy place, and kept her from the dwelling on the sadness and depression that wanted to weigh in on her.

    Steve had given her many worried looks over the last few weeks. He never asked questions, but it was obvious that things had changed, and he had picked up the basics of what was going on through observation and listening in on the gossiping noona's backstage.. He had become especially worried when it seemed as if The Muse was off in her own world more and more, not even bothering to explore their surroundings when not long ago he had struggled to keep her safe and still. She was acting out of character, and he didn't like it.

"Your Highness?" He asked while they sat backstage at the Lotte show.

She tilted her head to show she heard him, but her eyes weren't focused, "Hmmm?"

He crouched down in front of her chair to be in her line of sight, "Are you alright? I apologize if I am stepping outside of my boundaries, but you are not acting like yourself, and it worries me when you are so quiet like this. You seem to be somewhere else."

His concern was sweet and brought a small smile to her sullen face,

"I'm ok. I'm sorry for worrying you, though."

His brows came down and his forehead creased as he quietly asked, "Is everything ok with the baby?"

That made her smile a bit bigger. The baby was her new favorite topic, "Yes. The baby is fine. In fact, that's why I seem like I'm far away. I am connecting with the baby. Watching her move around and just exist makes me feel so much love and joy, and reminds me that I need to stay the course and continue down this path. No matter how dark it feels now, there is light and love in the future. Even if it is only the love of my children."

That didn't seem to abate his concerns, though.

Tilting her head toward him The Muse simply said, "I'm fine Steve. Thank you for your concern. It makes me feel safer knowing you're looking out for me, and for my little one."

Knowing he shouldn't argue, Steve pursed his lips and nodded before standing and moving back to his post.

     Watching the concert on a screen backstage, The Muse tried not to think about how handsome her husbands were. How sexy they looked on stage. She tried to keep her mind from wandering down those paths that led to nothing but tears and misery. Instead, she chose to simply go inside herself and connect with her little girl. After telling her Warriors about what she saw, they had started calling the baby Petal, for the bed of flower petals The Muse saw her laying on.

     They were also curious about who the father could be. The Muse knew. She could see the familial ties and who it led to. But she wasn't going to share that information. Not yet, anyway.

     She kept to herself after they all came off stage, staying well out of the way as she fought her internal struggle of whether she should look at her husbands while she could since she wouldn't see them for a month, or just keep her head down and not torture herself. In the end, it was a mix of the two. She'd catch herself staring and then return to staring at her shoes, until her eyes started to wander again. It was a relief when Namjoon came for her and took her away from there.  One more day, she told herself. One more day and then she'd have a whole month to heal.

     The next day came with several meetings of last minute details to take care of, including recording a meal as they planned their trip to New Zealand. Unfortunately, the powers that be decided it would be entirely too difficult to edit her out of everything, so she had to be in front of the camera purposefully. The Muse tried hard to keep her expressions neutral as she ate and listened to them all make their plans. The Warriors had their reservations about taking a pregnant woman on some of these adventures, but she stayed in their heads, promising that she would behave, and that she and the baby would be fine.

     It was hard to be in that enclosed space with all of them. Having to look passively at them as they spoke and ate. Keep her features schooled for the cameras, just as her husbands were doing. But, there was also a part of her that held some comfort being close by. Their physical presence made her feel more calm and peaceful. She also noticed, when she checked in with Petal, that she seemed to be very serene when they were in the presence of her fathers. She was too small to hear them, or to know much of anything, but she still seemed to know they were near.

    All too soon, or just in time, the meal and the planning were done, and it was time to go.

Seokjin, Namjoon and Hoseok had already come up with a plan for The Muse, and she would be staying with her Jinnie for the first part of the break. He had already warned her it would be filled with sleep and lounging around. She had asked for a few things, such as chocolate cake and other assorted snacks Namjoon wouldn't allow when she was to stay with him. She figured she needed to stock up and enjoy while she could.