Yours

January 9th

I love you. You know I do. I couldn’t be more obvious about it. I’ve never felt anything like it before. I’ve never seen love like ours. I don’t think it’s fair that you treat me like this. I think you should respect me a bit more. I think you should respect yourself a bit more. I was looking around Starbucks today and everyone looked rotten. Everyone has this thing inside them that’s making them unhappy but they ignore it and don’t do anything about it because they aren’t brave. I’m brave Sophia. I knew straight away what we had to do and I knew how perfect it would be and I did it. I made it happen. You know I did. You’ve seen everything I’ve done. Everything I’m doing. You know how our life together will be. We won’t even go to Starbucks anymore. We’ll get far away from there. The drinks are awful and the walls all look soulless and everybody looks like they’re just waiting to die. They look like they’ve never been alive. I was sat in there today all on my own. I don’t understand how you can leave me somewhere like that all alone not knowing when we’ll be together again. I don’t even know where you are. I hope you’re not in America. Half the men in America have STIs you know. I hope you know that. They don’t care about your safety. They don’t care about your health. You’ll be enjoying the sun and they’ll be making you drink lots until you don’t care about what happens to you. It would hurt me even more if you were in France. You know I’ve been learning French for you. Je t’aime pour toujours. I que vous voulez. I can give you anything any French man can give you Sophia. I’m meant to be with you. You can travel the world but you won’t find something better than this. I don’t know why you let me feel like this. God forbid you’ve gone to South America Sophia. You know the stories you hear about down there. You’ll get kidnapped or robbed. People will come up to you and offer to carry your bags for you and put you in a taxi and before you know it you’ll be carried off somewhere and won’t be able to escape and I’ll be left here worrying about you with no idea what happened. There’s so many places out there where something terrible could happen. You could get in trouble for looking at someone the wrong way or having your arms on show or being too pretty and drawing attention or not having the right amount of money to pay somebody off. I don’t know why you couldn’t have just stayed with me. I won’t sleep tonight Sophia. I won’t sleep. I can’t function when I don’t sleep. I need to be able to sleep and I can’t sleep unless I know you’re ok. I can’t sleep unless I know you love me and it doesn’t feel like you love me like I love you when you leave me like this. I look at the picture of you and know it’s not right. It’s not true. You’re not somewhere near and you’re not somewhere safe. You’re on the other side of the world with some man who can never love you like I can. I love you Sophia. This isn’t right. I love you. Me. I’m the one who loves you. Andrew. I love you.