Yours

October 19th

Dear Sophia,

I love you. I’ve been panicking all day. I’m guessing you saw the news today. It relaxed me seeing you look relaxed at least. It let me know things would be ok. I know it’s something we would never let happen but it made me worry we can’t always protect ourselves against everything. I just couldn’t get the image out of my mind.

She looked so happy. That poor girl. It’s the easy thing to do to assume it’s the parents’ fault. The mum looked so thin on the front page though. She didn’t look healthy at all. I don’t think anyone could look like that if they weren’t really worried. Even her hair looked ill.

It was all anyone was talking about today. Literally everyone that came through the door seemed to be talking about it. I must have heard the name Catherine come out of every single mouth I saw today.

The first I knew about it was when I saw it written on one of those newspaper boards they have outside the newsagents. I swear they only put those things up if there’s terrible news. I can’t remember seeing anything on them that wasn’t bad news. It said Catherine missing in big capital letters and I thought it might be some celebrity I didn’t know walking off set or something like that. Then on the other side of the board it said suspected kidnap in big letters and I knew it must be a little girl. One of these stories seems to happen every year. It really scares me.

It was on the front page of every paper. Every single one. I feel like I know her already. I’d recognise her for sure. I really hope it hasn’t put you off having kids.

I can’t wait for us to have kids. I can’t wait to teach them about the world and tell them our story. I can’t wait to show them the right way to live. I can’t wait to feel the pride of having created people with you. We’ll be such good parents. I can’t imagine how horrible something like this must be for the parents.

I hope Catherine had good parents but if she did then I don’t know how something like this can happen. If we can’t protect our children for definite then I’m not sure I’d ever be comfortable taking them outside anywhere where there were people we didn’t know. I know the world is mean and scary especially when you’re a kid. That doesn’t mean I want our kids growing up feeling scared of everything. But maybe that’s the only way they can know the truth. It’s sad really.

The fear of something like this happening is only so big because of how much we’d love our kids. I think about it a lot. Our own family to care for and feel part of. I’d like to call the first boy John Michael. I’d get him a guitar when he was still young so he’d grow up and like good music and be able to express himself. He’ll be really talented. I won’t push him like some parents do but I’ll make sure he always succeeds and never feels lonely.

It’s weird though. Things like this seem to only exist on the news. It’s easy to feel like it’s not real and you kind of have to remove yourself from it or you’d just always be scared. That’s what I try to do with the news normally. But when I read it was only about ten miles away I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It wasn’t just a story. It was happening somewhere near.

It’s made me start to worry about whether this is a safe place to raise our kids. That’s the sort of thing we should really look into at some point.

I just hope they find her soon. Or at least find the culprit so he isn’t still at large. I don’t like the idea of knowing he’s out there just passing people on the street who have no idea it’s him.

Be careful please. Stay safe this weekend. I love you.

Yours,

Andrew