Yours

November 6th

Dear Sophia,

I love you. I think I might have found the perfect way to show you how much I love you.

I’ve never really been jewellery shopping before. I’ve never really had a reason to go jewellery shopping before. Jewellery doesn’t even look like a real word written down.

I think for Christmas once when I was a kid I might have given my mum a necklace or a bracelet or something but that was when I was so young the presents from me to my mum were just things she’d bought herself. I remember I could read my own name and used to assume any presents that had my name on must be for me. I never had to give anyone else any presents so I had no reason to think otherwise. It meant every time it was my mum’s birthday I had to get a present as well or I’d get upset.

It was a necklace now I think about it. I remember my mum wearing it for a while afterwards. One day she took it off and said she wanted to keep it somewhere safe rather than risk losing it every day. It’s probably in the house somewhere still. I wouldn’t give that to you though. You deserve your own things. You’re part of my new life and I don’t want any overlap with my old life before you.

It was kind of scary going into the jewellery shop. I’ve walked past it a million times before because it’s right at the top of the high street. Until today it was just the kind of shop that seemed there to fill in gaps on the high street. I never had a reason to go in. I didn’t have girlfriends I was trying to impress or wives I was trying to apologise to with something expensive. That’s all I thought jewellery was for.

I was walking past it on the way to Starbucks and for some reason I stopped and looked in the window. I saw a couple of really beautiful things that made me think of you. I couldn’t really read the prices from outside though. I tried to press up against the window without making it look like I was looking. I still couldn’t really see. I knew I had to go inside. I hoped it wasn’t one of those places where if you have to ask the price it means you can’t afford anything. I figured it was worth that embarrassment if it gave me a chance of getting something that would make you really happy.

It’s kind of like a butchers in there. It doesn’t smell like a butchers or anything it’s just scary in the same way. It feels like everyone else in there knows exactly what’s going on and what to ask. It feels like asking any questions makes you look like an idiot. People know the names of things and know how to ask for exactly the right thing. I don’t.

I walked up and down the counter a bit pretending to know what I was looking at. I wasn’t really paying any attention though. It was like when you look at a page in a book and you think you’re reading but really you know you’re not taking anything in because you’re thinking about something else. I already knew which thing I wanted I just had to get the confidence to ask for it. Sometimes it’s been so long since I talked that it takes me a while to be able to do it again. Eventually I asked the guy how much the necklace I’d seen would cost. He took it out and let me have a closer look. It was beautiful. It was exactly what I’d hoped for. It looked like a perfect birthday present for you. He told me how much it would cost. It wouldn’t be a gentlemanly thing to do to let you know how much it cost though. I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging about how generous I am.

I’ve decided it’d be the perfect thing to give you for your birthday. I have to get it really. It was really beautiful. Just like you. I told the guy I’d come back for it. Usually I say that to people as a way to get out of places but that time I meant it.

When I saw you at lunch time I checked and saw you weren’t wearing a necklace. I hope that’s not because you don’t like necklaces. You probably just haven’t found one that suits someone as beautiful as you. I think I’ve found the perfect one.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew