Yours

October 18th

Dear Sophia,

I love you. I love you more than ever.

Every day I think things are perfect and then somehow things get even better. It’s a miracle. You’re a miracle. Every day we get even closer.

It wasn’t fat people today. Or stupid people. It was just people. All people. Every one of them disgusted me. I didn’t know why they were there. They were just in the way. I don’t know why they all sit around doing nothing. They’re just getting in the way. That’s all they do. They’re just like the chairs and the tables and the bins only they don’t even have a use. They’re just there. I was getting really angry with them. I was getting angry with everything.

My seat was taken when I got to Starbucks. A couple of times someone got out of it and straight away someone else sat in it. The whole floor was basically full of people. I couldn’t breathe without tasting someone else. I don’t know why there were so many people there. A lot of them were in bright coloured jackets and things. I guess they might have been tourists or something. I don’t know where there is around here that tourists go though.

After a while I decided to just prop myself up against the wall. I didn’t want to have to watch every seat in the place and then race over whenever one was free. I didn’t want to end up on a table next to people I didn’t know anyway.

I was pretty uncomfortable standing by the door to be honest. I felt like too many people could see me. People kept coming in and out and I could feel the wind blowing around the bottom of my trousers. I actually got through a couple of coffees standing there which never happens. Standing against the wall I was basically in the queue anyway. I just wanted something warm in my hands really.

I couldn’t tell whether people were leaving or not. Maybe everyone who came in looked exactly the same. Maybe everybody was completely forgettable so the second I stopped looking at them I couldn’t remember what they looked like. I knew I had to stick it out. I knew you’d be worth it. I didn’t know how perfect it’d be though. It’s so wonderful we’ve spoken like this now.

I didn’t even notice when you came in. You must have walked straight past me while I was looking somewhere else. Or I guess you could have got rushed in amongst a crowd of rude tourist people so I couldn’t see you. I hope you didn’t think it was rude of me to not notice when you came in.

I turned round and saw you already in the queue. I could see you really clearly and I wasn’t worried about the cold anymore. I had everything I wanted.

When you turned back I tried to look away but I couldn’t. You noticed. Of course you did. You were drawn straight towards me. You smiled at me and said hello. It was so exhilarating. That’s not a word I’d really understood until today. Hearing you speak and look right into my eyes. It was even better than when I held the door for you. It was even more immediate. Even more intimate. A direct spark between us. It was my reward for being so devoted and waiting for you.

Yesterday and today I’ve really made the extra effort for us. I focussed on us and it paid off completely. It wasn’t difficult. There’s no way I couldn’t focus on us. We can’t be kept apart. That’s why you were drawn straight to me. We keep getting closer and closer when it doesn’t even seem possible. It’s amazing.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew