T: Historical events I would change because I'm a baddie
T: 1. The fall of Rome
T: I would simply pick up Rome

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J: Say my favourite three words
T: I love you
J: Not that one
T:
T: I am short
J: YES YOU ARE AHAHAH

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T: hmmm
T: I want to paint
T: cmere and take ur shirt off

---- [Proof god is dead] ----

W: Richard John Allen-West-Wayne-Grayson I am calling you out!!
D: You know nothing, Wallence Rudolph Wayne-Grayson-Allen-West
W: I thought it was Allen-West-Wayne-Grayson
D: Yeah but if it shortens to 'Mr. Wayne' your guaranteed a table at literally any establishment you walk into
W: Right, Wayne-Grayson-Allen-West it is

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D: HE'S DIEDED
W: HE HAS DEADED
R: sometimes i forget you two disasters are married
D: Yeah, it's not like you officiated or anything

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T: So what's it like being married to Dickie?
W: One time I was mad at him and he asked for a glass of water so I brought him a cup of ice and told him to wait and he started eating it with a seductive look on his face

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D: Reporter: Red Robin, you've been spotted with Tim Wayne, ward of Bruce Wayne. Are you guys friends?
D: Red Robin: that guys a fool. Fuck that guy, fucking coward
D: [later, watching the interview]
D: Tim Wayne: say that to my face, you fucking loser
D: Bruce: wha-

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R: "Timothy Wayne is amazing," I say into the mic
R: The crowd cheers. I stand there, looking out at everyone, when a voice speaks over the cheers
R: "You're wrong," it says. I scan the crowd for the owner of the voice. There, in the back row, stands Timothy Wayne himself.

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R: What do you mean no?
D: I mean no. You wanna hear it in Spanish? No

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D: Tim: *moves*
D: Jason, without thinking: you drink another beer and I'm going to kill you
D: Tim: *opens beer can and drinks half in one sip* you'd be doing me a favour

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R: Hey Dick, what's the sexiest thing about your husband?
D: he hates capitalism

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J: Clark is at the stage where he's trying to be Hip and he walked into this kitchen this morning like "Hey kids, what's on the gay agenda today?"
J: and everyone answered at the same time was like
J: "Might fuck around and change my pronouns"
J: "1. touch boob. 2. die"
J: "Gonna rob a thrift store for ugly flannels"
J: "I will be spending the day watering my many plants and Yearning"

---- [T -> J] ----

J: I love you
T: do you have evidence to support your statement?

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T: I'm not sad. I am not sad.

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J: hocus-pocus capitalism is hopeless

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T: *has feelings*
T: Pathetic. Disgusting. Won't Let It Happen Again

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J: every day is a half-day if you just fucking leave

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T: Why is being alive so expensive I'm not even having a good time

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J: Roy: started seeing someone
J: Dickie, immediately: as in dating or hallucinations

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T: you think you can hurt my feelings? Im an overthinker that has overwhelming anxiety, so yeah, you probably can

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J: The world is a cruel place. Everywhere I go all I see is death, destruction...
T: Probably because ur the one causing it

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T: "can u multitask" yes actually I'm losing my mind and chilling at the same time

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J: Babs just walked into the room, said "girls don't mature faster than boys, girls are punished from an early age for the same behaviour that boys are allowed to indulge in well into adulthood" and then just left

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T: Oh you want to kidnap me? I want to be chosen

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J: If God wanted me to go to therapy they would have made it free and easily available on a fun little website

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T: You ever scare the fuck out of urself for no reason? Like I'll be downstairs making coffee and I'll tell myself "imagine if there was someone standing behind you rn waiting for you to turn around" like I had NO REASON to do that to myself

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J: Roy: Opened a DM from a man expected it to be a dickpic but it was a poem which is somehow worse

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T: The gender-neutral version of goth gf is partnoir

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Left On Read // Book TwoWhere stories live. Discover now