» Chapter 46

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---- [T -> J] ----

T: Clark, in his heavy, southern tone, to Bruce: hey, darling?
T: Bruce, unfeelingly: yes Clark?
T: Clark, with intensifying southernness: honey? pumpkin? sugar?
T: Bruce, with a straight-face: can I assist you with something, Mr. Kent?

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J: how tf is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller

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T: uh yeah I'm great in bed ive been here for 12 hours

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J: you ever lay in bed next to someone and try to breathe like them and almost die??

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T: ever fuck with a song so hard you restart it before it ends

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J: a man has fallen for a man in lego city

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T: poke ur finger in someone's mouth while they're yawning to establish dominance

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J: I was in the room while Dickie and Wally were video calling and
J: Dickie, fondly: god you're such a fucking idiot
J: Wally: yeah but I'm your idiot
J: Wally, showing the ring to the camera: FOREVEEEER

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T: amazing. I haven't read anything this shitty since middle school

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J: when Will says "you and I have begun to blur" like ok put your glasses back on then king

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T: hi! friendly reminder, the best thing you can do in life is:
T: BECOME UNGOVERNABLE

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J: Roy (drunk) tried to pick up his neighbour's cat Missy and she went slack and slid out of his arms and he said "you turn back into a solid right this instant"

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T: author be like "I know a place" then takes you to a hotel where the last room available only has one bed

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J: love at first s(word f)ight

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T: me as I open ao3: "I just wanna feel something again"

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J: "you've changed" bro three witches predicted my ascent to kingship and my eventual downfall

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T: learning about pretty much any problem now that i've learned more about the world and gained critical thinking skills is just "wait this entire thing is directly the fault of capitalism"

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J: uh, yeah my type is unhinged women and sunshine boys it's called being a fucking genius

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T: Someone asked me what I do for a living and I accidentally said "suffer"

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J: Are you ok?
T: no
J: aight just checking

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T: if I didn't know any better, Id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books

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J: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room
T: it's called arson and those people are called witnesses

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