» Chapter 34

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---- [Proof god is dead] ----

R: what button do i have to press to hire a deep web assassin to kill him
D: Do you actually want to know or

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D: so you broke into Oliver's house, you say, casually.
W: How'd you manage that?
T: Roy let me in!!!
T: hes so sweet n cute and agreed so easily!!
T: i have a lot of blackmail material on him!!

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W: How are you alive right now
T: i inject caffeine straight into my eyes

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D: *Leg up* *points finger* *kissy mouth* NICE SERVE!!

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R: Inib rue tiid.
D Everyone, wait. I'm getting a text. It's Roy.
W: Where is he? What'd he say?
D: "Inib rue tiid."
R: Ink obrvs whiz
D: Wait, I'm getting another one.
D: "Ink obrvs whiz." These are nonsense.
T: He's been gagged.
D: Of course! He's been gagged!

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D: I love the fact that Bruce looked at Tim, a sleep-deprived corpse of a young boy who can recite all of pride and prejudice backwards but doesn't know the order of the months, and said "yes, that is the one I will put in charge of my billion-dollar company"
D: Tim came into work this morning on a skateboard wearing gray cameo sweatpants, a Star Wars t-shirt under his suit blazer, with a Rolex and a rubber band on the same wrist and rainbow shutter glasses
D: ive never seen the board of directors look so tired

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R: FUCK YOU
R: I GOT A PROBLEM WITH AUTHORITY

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T: MY RISE TO THE TOP WILL BE SWIFT AND FULL OF DESTRUCTION!!!
D: FLY YOU BEAUTIFUL BABY BIRD!!! KILL YOUR BETTERS AND BECOME A SYMBOL OF REBELLION!!!!

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W: Stop. Please, I'm begging you. You awful, awful people.

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R: Every day, my pile of regrets grows a little higher

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D: my special skills r seduction and the moonwalk
D: and my persuasion skill is like maxed out to combat Timmy's Super Reluctance Trait

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T: its been like two minutes and this is already dramatic as hell
T: im having a blast over here
R: Really??? Im tense as HELL
T: im wired to thrive on dysfunction

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D: RoyToy, you look worse than usual. Like a dying gorilla instead of a regular gorilla.
D: Did you sleep last night??
T: he didn't
W: how the fuck do you know that
T: I sent him a meme about James Bond at 5am and he sent me a snap of him trying to burn a pair of handcuffs off in a McDonald's bathroom with a rainbow lighter

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D: watch your fucking vibes when you speak to me

Left On Read // Book TwoWhere stories live. Discover now