» Chapter 32

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---- [Proof god is dead] ----

D: Don't get murdered by a serial killer on ur way back to the house Timmy :)
W: That sounds ominous as fuck
T: thx Dickie, now im terrified
D: Sorry just wanted you to watch out for yourself

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D: Love is a weakness, an evolutionary mistake.
T: You're literally making a Valentine's card for Walls right now.
D: You're on thin fucking ice

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R: Hey kids, I know you're all struggling right now, but I'm here to tell you
R: Everything gets worse forever
T:
D:
W:
R: You're welcome

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D: Roy! Your job is to maintain the innocence of your children!
W: wow excellent work Roy
R: you guys were already Like That, Wally, that ain't my fault

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T: Tell the court where you were the night of the murder
W: I'd rather show you through interpretive dance
T: Please do not
D: I'll allow it

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T: Ah, fuck
R:...
W: ...
D: watch your fucking language, Timmy
W: You're to blame!!

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T: fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you will get a sensual surprise when he begins to feed
D: I will give the horse that kills me no such luxury
W: it's ok, we can add the cranberries later
R: what

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W: let's see if we can put our heads together and solve the case
D: what case?
W: the case of how you got so damn sexy
D: God owed me a favour
D: Case solved

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R: hello people who do not live here
D: Hello~
W: Hey!!
T: Hi
R: I gave you a key for emergencies
W: we were out of Doritos

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T: I need an adult
R: I'm an adult
T: I need a different adult

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R: It's Valentine's Day, so I decided to send a box of chocolates to the cutest person in Wayne Manor
T: Yeah, about that, the box literally just said "to the cutest person in Wayne Manor" and now everyone is arguing about who it's for
R: Oh I know, I'm not in love with anyone in particular. I just wanted to start a fight

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D: Ok class, what do you do if I'm shot?
T: Avenge you
D: no-
W: Go after their children
D: Yes, exactly

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R: Fuck all of you I am not a father
D: Kaldur is adopting Tim
R: OVER MY DEAD BODY
W: "not a father" my ASS
T: do I?? Not get a say??
T: Bc if I do Roy is daddy???
R: Literally NEVER say that again
W: It's not ur fault ur daddy material, RoyBoy
R: Stop???
D: when I was 9 Roy taught me how to pick locks with a credit card so that we could get into the kitchens and steal leftover cake
W: Roy u never taught me how to break into places and steal things :(((
R: Oh my god

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W: lol I'm dying help
T: Oof same
R: wow a mood
D: Rip. What's up babe?
W: no like I'm legit dying
W: some guy stabbed me in the McDonalds parking lot
W: the lol is habit
Several people are typing...
T: Oof same
R: wow a mood
D: Rip.

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R: it's not gay if I'm screwing him but as bro's right
T: I'm not an expert but that sounds pretty gay
D: I'm an expert. that's gay.

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D: What's the worst part about being a dad?
R: The kids
W: Roy, exactly how many kids do you have?
R: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference

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D: What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe
T: mitosis
R: I want to die
W: this is the joke that will bring back Jesus Christ

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D: Wally, I sent you an illegal PDF of my textbook I need you to upload it into your brain
W: I'm not a computer??
D: You kind of are, actually. I need you to learn this stuff so you can teach it to me
W: When's your test
D: Three hours
W: Oh so we have lots of time. Let's stop for ice cream on the way
D: Aw knew there was a reason I fell for you

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T: Daddy Roy can we go to Disneyland
R: no
T: Pls Daddy Roy???
R: no
D: Please, Daddy?
R: PACK YOUR BAGS WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND
R: also if any of you call me that ever again I'm blocking all of you

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D: "If Goofy is a dog and Pluto is a dog then why is one a pet" is the cartoon equivalent to "If man evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys"
R: The implication that Goofy is just a more advanced stage in canine evolution is oddly terrifying
W: There's no such thing as 'more advanced' in evolution. A dogman isn't more evolved than a dog, just as you are no more evolved than a seagull or coral, they are just fitted for different environments and have evolved as such
T: Goofy is not more evolved than Pluto, Goofy just fills a different ecological niche. While Pluto is just a scavenger and Goofy is an apex predator, both play important roles in the ecosystem

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W: Yo, Timmy
W: You into cars?
T: yes. it was a cinematic masterpiece
W: No, I mean, like, are you a car person?
T: ...I'm a human

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R: Hey just so we're all clear I would DIE for Timmy Wayne
D: - mood 24:7
W: I'm in this picture and I don't like it

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W: Introducing M'gann to the internet is literally my shinning achievement and I've outdone myself again
W: Some random asshole was going off @ them and said something along the lines of "ur just trying to force homosexuality on me with your gay agenda"
W: and they didn't even look up before they said, "dude, I'm nonbinary, I don't have a genda," and I cried
D: M'gann has literally become the funniest person we know

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D: Some random fucking bad guy kidnaped Timmy and was going on about "I'll kill you, Timothy Drake. I'll make you regret the day you were ever born"
D: And Timmy blinks and says, "One, it's Timothy Wayne, and two, I've been regretting it my whole life"
D: And the bad guy kinda stops and looks down at him and then just says, "...are you good, man?"
D: and Timmy's like "Not really, bro"

---- [T -> D] ----

D: Your not going in there. You're just a baby
T: I'm not a baby, I'm 21
D: Your 16
T: Nearly 17
D: Your 16 going on 17 and I'm the boss of you
T: Come stop me, then
D: Timmy, you know lashing out like this isn't going to make anything better
T: I'm not lashing out, I'm solving a crime that you haven't been able to
D: Bruce and I are just trying to protect you, Timmy. I know I'm not always at the manor anymore but I'm still here for you, just like Wally, Roy, and Conner, and Bruce and Clark
T: This isn't about that, Dickie. I know that Jason is dead and I'm dealing with it. It's been four months.
T: This is about the fact that I worked out where the Falcone family was running their main operation in a half a month and you still won't let me patrol with you
D: Ok, Timmy. Listen up
D: I don't like this, and neither does Bruce, but you've proved your point. You'll do it with or without permission so
D: I know Jason trained you before, but getting up to Bruce's standards is going to be literal hell btw
T: so you'll let me be Robin???
D: I'll talk to Bruce about it
T: I'll take that as a yes :) ily Dickie
T: Also pls come pick me up it's cold out

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