» Chapter 37

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---- [T -> J] ----

J: I don't drink hot liquids of any kind
J: That's the devil's temperature

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T: You showed up on the doorstep with a bloody nose, one shoe, and a bucket of chicken. Nowhere near here even sells buckets of chicken
J: That would explain the bones in my backpack

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J: I know your deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are
T: it's not a joke. i'm a legit snacc

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T: were you even watching in front of you?
J: No. I was watching you

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J: let's talk about reality
T: I don't care for it

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T: do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn u on

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J: big deal, look at me. Psychological damage up to here

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T: honestly this is fine and I am completely unaffected right now, currently, as we speak

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J: pears weird me out, dude. Where do you start with a pear? The top, the bottom?

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T: Some of you have never lived with a guy who on a regular basis puts you through life-threatening situations and the other guy constantly using them to murder others and it really shows

---- [Proof god is dead] ----

R: Have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking a window?
T: no
R: would you like to?

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J: Give me one reason I shouldn't punch you in the face right now
W: I'm the last of my species
T: When you move to punch me, I'm going to hold a bucket up in front of my face. And then your first will just punch the inside of an empty bucket and you'll look ridiculous
R: You'll be late for dinner
D: Bruce specifically instructed me to have a good day

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T: I'll take finger food for $600, Alex
R: These come in six, ten, or twenty pieces
T: what are chiccy nuggies?
R: You are correct!!

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D: Where is Timmy?
W: I'll do you one better... WHO is Timmy?
R: I'll do you one better... WHY is Timmy?
T: but no one ever asks HOW is Timmy

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D: The board of directors when Timmy arrives wearing a buttoned-up bright teal Hawaiian shirt with flamingos on it under a (designer) red glen plaid basic five-button vest, beige khakis, classic Doc Marten lace-up boots with rainbow shoelaces (status of socks unknown), Jason's leather jacket and a choker: ...what are you wearing?
D: Timmy, taking off his fedora to reveal a flower crown: it's my ass-kicking outfit BITCH

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R: *opens the groupchat at breakfast to backread like its the morning paper*
R: why the fuck were u guys fighting about marbles

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D: Timmy truth or dare
T: Truth
D: How many hours have you slept this week?
T: Dare
W: go to sleep
T: I don't like this game

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R: Can ya'll be miserable quietly, please?

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