» Chapter 15

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---- From chapter 14 ----

J: I need your help
W: Ah, finally someone who appreciates the Wallster. What do you need, young grasshopper?
J: If I didn't need you, I would kill you
J: But, I need to know how you got Dickiebird when he's so far out of your league he's practically in a different universe
W: First of all, rude
W: second of all, just because I'm dating Dickie doesn't mean I know how I did it
W: But I think bringing him cereal thousands of times worked
J: Can I substitute coffee for cereal?
W: I guess?
J: Great, I knew bribery would be the way to go

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T: Dickie
D: new chat, who dis
T: Dickie pls
T: I am in grave need of assistance
D: Normally I charge $50 but since I know what this is about, I'll make this one on the house. Go on, young grasshopper
T: How did you get it through Wally's thick fucking skull that you liked him
D: I hit him over the head a lot, and let him bring me cereal
D: Kissing him probably helped too but Idk
T: got it- violence and extortion. That's what I figured

"I'm in love with Jason," Tim admits quietly. He could have done so through text ten minutes ago, while he and Dickie were negotiating exactly how he was going to get with Jason, or any time after that, too. He still had the conversation open on his phone, but if he was being honest, that conversation hadn't made him feel better. He needed to say it out loud, and Dickie had already said he'd listen.

"So make out with him," is all Dickie says, typing away on his laptop and sitting criss-cross on the coffee table, his back to the lit fireplace.

"But I hate him!" Tim snaps, because he does hate Jason, and he's sick of everyone trying to tell him that his love cancels out his hate, even though he knows that's not what Dickie was trying to do.

Dickie suddenly looks very serious, speaking with a raspy voice, "A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole."

Tim blinks, his frustration spinning into something else, not sure what he had been expecting, but knowing it wasn't that. "Did you just quote BBC's Merlin- season one; episode two; "Valiant," timestamp 30:54- at me? Didn't that show end in December 2012?"

Dickie looked up from his laptop then, his eyebrows drawn together, "Why do you- yanno' what? Never mind." Dickie closes the lid of his laptop and sets it aside, unfolding his legs and patting the impossible soft cushions across from him on the couch. Tim sits down and there's so little space between the couch and the coffee table that their knees touch.

When Tim is settled, Dickie starts, "I'd say I don't know what to tell you, but I know everything so." He shrugs. "Look, Timmy, I get it," he speaks over any protest Tim might have about how he does so not get it, "you love him but you hate him. The thing you gotta' understand is that emotions are funky things and no one really understands how they work," he pauses, then says, "Except for me, but I'm God so."

Tim can't help the small smile that curves his lips, and Dickie grins like that was his goal all along, even as he keeps talking, "You're never gonna love him 100% one moment and hate him 100% the next; they're always gonna' blur together. The point is, you have to decide not if you love him more or hate him more, but if your willing to put yourself through both."

"And I get it," he insists again, and Tim gets the feeling he's trying to make it seem like he's not so alone, "people like a happy ending, they like a Enemies to Lovers story, they want your love to outweigh your hate."

Tim looks away, a little bitter that Dickie could tell exactly what had been bothering him, but Dickie leans forward and braces himself with a hand on Tim's leg. He uses his free hand to tilt Tim's chin up, forcing Tim to look at him as he says, "But you have a right to your anger, Tim, and if it ends up that you're not willing to lock Jason out and let him back in again and again then," Dickie breaks the serious moment with a grin at exactly the right time, right before Tim starts to cry, "you have a right to kill him."

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