» Chapter 38

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---- [T -> J] ----

T: Oh to be a dead bee floating gracefully in a 5ft deep swimming pool, riding the waves as children play Marco Polo around me

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J: CALM DOWN
J: JUST CHILL OUT FOR TWO SECONDS DAMNIT

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T: let's leave now pls, this sounds like a cult and u know what Bruce will do if we join another one
J: Dude you know what's in cults tho?
T: What?
J: Money

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J: I'm :) trying :) to :) be :) a :) better :) person :) but :) some :) people :) keep :) testing :) me :)

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T: Birth is a curse and existence is a prison
J: life is a party and I'm the piñata

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J: the eagles won last night
T: oh. u watched the game?
J: What game?

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T: how dumb do u think we r?
J: Sometimes I have to leave Roy pictures of food instead of a shopping list

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J: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of tangerines!
T: But you only gave me one tangerine
J: Yep!

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T: hey.,, bro?? can u uh .., tRY not..,, being an ASSHOLE for one (1) minute.. uh idk,,., if u accept Constructive™ Criticism on ur texts ? just a thought :))

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J: Living with Roy means you'll find unexpected weapons everywhere
J: I lie down and something pokes my head, it's a gun
J: I try to pull the remote out of the sofa, I get a forgotten knife
J: I go to get milk and the fridge and there's an arrow
J: The carpet curls up, theres a dagger
J: it's alright, really. People hoard different things. I hoard traumas, Bruce hoards children, Dick hoards unrealistic expectations. Roy hoards weapons, it's fine.

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T: must u always attack me with words?
J: Would you prefer I use rocks?

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J: I hit the hay all day motherfucker. 24 hour sleep cycle. If you awake you fake. It's bedtime bitch.

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T: Dickie took me grocery shopping with Wally and Roy and let me tell you, it was wild

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J: There's chocolate cake in the fridge, bring it here
T: u have to eat something healthy
T: like whatever the fuck this is
T: a hairy apple? What kind of fucking food is that?
J: Thats a kiwi, Timmy. How long have you been awake?

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T: can I offer u some gay yearning in this trying time

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J: "It'll be fun," he said
J: "It'll be a good bonding experience," he said
J: "I'll tell Bruce how you trashed his Bentley," he said
J: This is the worst day of my life

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