» Chapter 9

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---- [T -> J] ----

T: u look so hot when u find me annoying

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J: Do you need some help?
T: No. This is not some simple task like, say, riding a bike, cracking an egg, or drug smuggling
J: ...what was that last one?
T: ...cracking an egg

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T: I can't believe he cancelled my fake meeting!

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J: Timmy
J: give me his name and I'll give you a corpse

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T: my Twitter keeps blowing up what did u do

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J: I don't feel like I'm 6'1. It just kinda feels like everyone else is small.
T: Just say your 6'1 and go

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T: ughh! did you have to throw me in the water? I'm fucking wet
J: oh so you lived? Damn

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J: You look like you stayed up all night crying over me
T: u look like I stayed up all night crying over u

---- [Proof god is dead] ----

W: Hey Timmy?
T: Wha
W: How much Tim could a Timmy Tim if a Timmy could catch Tim?
T: What the fuck
W: How much Tim could a Timmy Tim if a Timmy could catch Tim?
T: I heard u the first time, u dumbass, that doest make any sense
W: What part are you tripping up on?
T: What the fuck is happening
D: I think I understand. Yeah
T: Understand what?
D: I understand how much Tim could a Timmy Tim if a Timmy could catch Tim
T: None of you are making any fucking sense
W: Your outnumber 2 to 1 here Timmy. I think that just makes you dumb
T: I'm not dumb!
D: Well there's two of us and one of you and that makes us right
T: If that's the case then what about last week when I tried to tell Jay and Roy that it's a bad idea to practice jumping off Roy's fire escape to try and brace their legs for fall damage
W: Roy and Jay don't count because they're idiots. Me and Dickie? We're two smart dudes
D: The smartest
T: Fuck
W: So, Dickie, how much Tim could a Timmy tim if a Timmy could catch Tim?
D: Maybe 7?
T: I'll kill you both and make it look like an accident
D: You don't have to try to make me look like an accident
W: Yikes
T: Screw both of you I'm leaving

---- [W -> D] ----

W: I'm concerned for Timmy
D: Why
W: He's spent the last three days staring blankly into a thermos of coffee that smells vaguely of vodka and crying intermittently mumbling his own name. You basically live with him, how did you not notice
D: That's,,, yeah, that's something to be concerned about
D: Why did you have to wait three days to bring this up? How long do you have to watch a guy mumbling his own name into a spiked coffee crying softly before you think its a problem?
W: Well three days obviously

---- [Proof god is dead] ----

T: How... Timmy... Tim
D: Timmy what the fuck is wrong with you
W: Why did you phrase it so bluntly Jesus christ Dickie
T: Ive been thinking about this all week! How much Tim could a Timmy Tim if a Timmy could catch Tim?
W: Are you fucking kidding me
T: What does it mean for a Timmy to Tim? I'm having an existential nightmare
D: Life is a nightmare. Wake up. Except you can't. You're already awake.
W: Are y- jesus Dickie
T: What if a Timmy could Tim 4 tim's? Or 8? I'm so confused
W: Why are you like this

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