» Chapter 7

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---- [T -> J] ----

T: If someone told you
J: Told me what
J: Don't pause in the middle of typing, scum

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J: Good dog
J: I mean, boy
J: I shouldn't be rude to animals and use them as nicknames without consent...

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T: After knowing you for a number of months I have come to the conclusion that people are unfriendly towards you because you fundamentally are an unlikeable person
T: Are you still aware of my deep hatred or should I set you on fire in your sleep?

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J: A guy I walked by started a phone call by saying "boi do I have a son story for you"

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T: "Not all men." Ur right, Jack Merridew would probably do something much worse than this

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J: Well yes, that's what you are, aren't you?
T: Arent, are you? Double negative? Fuckin',,, is this an SAT question? I... the answer is C

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T: To this day I still can't figure out if the P in Agent P stands for Perry or Platypus and it keeps me awake at night

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J: If I fall asleep will I have nightmares?
T: Aww, ur so cute
J: That doesn't answer my fucking question
T: sleep and find out, pussy

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T: could u not be an anime protagonist for five fucking minutes please?!

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J: All these fucking shinanigans, I'm supposed to be going to class- oh shit

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T: sometimes you have to put on your prettiest outfit and get sentenced to death in the midst of the french revolution just to have a chance to ask your crush out on a date

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J: Hey did we remember to grab grocery bags
T: the only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.
J: A simple no would have sufficed

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T: Why are Dickie and Walls sitting with their backs to each other?
J: They had a fight
T: Then why are they still holding hands?
J: They get sad when they fight

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J: Look at his vase, it's beautiful, sorry, vaHZ
T: You're being really in-vase-ive right now.
J: In-VAHZ-ive is the word!

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T: I tried to form a book club when I was younger
J: How did it go?
T: It turned into a gang

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---- [Proof god is dead] ----

W: Hey Roy, what's the name of your neighbour?
R: Her cats are called dicksparkles and fuckmuffin.
W: That's not what I asked
R: That's the information I have

---- [T -> J] ----

T: I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

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J: This is your fault
T: U told me to do it tho?
J: LIAR

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Left On Read // Book TwoWhere stories live. Discover now