» Chapter 31

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[Three months later]

---- [Proof god is dead] ----

T has gone offline.
W: Timmy? are u Gucci??
T is online.
T: no
T has gone offline.
W: Sigh. Yo, Dick, is he ok??
D: I'm omw to his room rn
R: Is he still texting Jason's phone?
D: Bruce, Clark, and I agreed it wasn't helping so we disconnected the number a few weeks ago
W: and??
D: Well, his therapist says she thinks it was the right call and we should just give him a few more days to adjust
W: How is he??
D: Not in his room
D: Lemme just
D: hi my name is michael with a b and ive been afraid of insects my whole life-
T: wait wait wait stop. where's the b?
D: tHeRes a bEe
W: did you just summon Timmy
D: yes
D: Now, Timmy, tell your big bro what's wrong
T: Ive just been horribly depressed
D: Hm, ok, have you tried just vibing?
T: Doc I vibe at least three hours a day
D: And you are still depressed?
T: Yea
D: Well at this point theres nothing I can do
D: Except call a squad movie night!!
D: What's the gay agenda, lads?
W: Alien
R: Again?
T: Alien vs. Predator?
D: If Timmy declares it, it must be so
R: Alright listen up you little shits
R: Not you, Timmy. You're an angel and we're glad your here
R: I want all of you in my apartment ready to watch Alien vs. Predator within the next hour or there will be hell to pay

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T: What the fuck arent you guys supposed 2 be socially inept and have no souls
R: Hold the fuck up, this tired good boy can't fucking use the right 'to' in a sentence but knows words like socially inept?

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R: I always did want to go through parenthood vicariously by babysitting a group of sociopaths

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D: L is for the way you look at me
R: O is for the only one I see
T: V is for very very extraordinary
W: Egg

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D: Did you try putting it in rice??
T: Have you tried turning off and on again?
R: No, it looks like the battery's dead
W: WHY ARE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS?! SOMEONE'S DEAD, HERE!!

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W: i'm bored, someone watch TV with me
R: On it
D: who even watches tv anymore lol
T: Seniors, middle-aged men, white teenagers, 7ish-year-old children, and Wally, who is all of those things
D: I bet they're watching the fucking news
W: H OL Y   S H IT
W: GUESS WHAT'S ON THE FUCKING NEWS
T: Lmao

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W: I'M TOO HOT
W: :D
W: :D
W: :D
W: :D
W: :D
W: :D
D: hot damn.
W: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMAN

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D: I've got to move on and be who I am. I just don't belong here, I hope you understand.
W: Did you just quote high school musical?
T: It was the second one, actually

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W: SOMEONE ENTERTAIN ME
R: No
R: The only things that can do that are the batsquad as a whole or Dickie singlehandedly

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W: hey guys guess what
R: yes, you love Dickie, we know, you love Dickie so much, he's the light of your life, you love him so much, you just love Dickie, we KNOW, you love Dickie. you fucking love Dickie. ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE DICKIE. WE GET IT.

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D: What a fucking IDIOT
R: I can't believe this
W: We're having a funeral for Timmy's coffee mug, aren't we?
T: Garden. 3 pm. Say nice things. Bring coffee.

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W: It's not that simple, Timmy.
W: He's a master of sedu-
D: Ahem
W: -sedition
W: He's good at rebelling against the state. That's unrelated. I don't know why I said that.

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R: Have you guys seen a snake he's not in my room
W: A snake is loose!?
R: No of course not why would I asking

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R: Why is Timmy standing on the desk?
D: He likes to be tall when he's sad

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W: if i had a dollar for every time Dickie listened to me, i'd be in debt.

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R: Dickie, What are you doing here?!
D: The window was open
R: This is the 12th floor??

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D: Tim was doing laundry earlier and he dropped a sock and I heard him say 'why has god forsaken me'

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D: I stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. Aren't you proud of me?
W: YOU FLOODED THE ENTIRE BUILDING
D: Technically, Roy did that. I just told him to

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R: why are all of u gay
T: ur gay
R: u kno wha u got me there

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D: wow ?? you want to be grounded ??? my pleasure !!!

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T: Does anyone else ever wish they had, like, loving parents???
Seen at by all 6:23am
T: wow me neither

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W: Fellas is gay when ur heart goes skrra pap pap ka ka ka skidiki pap pap and a pu pu durrrr boom SKYAA du du ku ku tun tun poom poom around ur homie
D: Wally, we're dating

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W: I need a part time job that pays $20,000 a week
R: Have you considered haunting an opera house?
T: That only gets you $20,000 a month

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T: Wait y is Roy mad at Wally
R: fucker woke me up
T: it's 3 in the afternoon
R: it's the weekend
T: hey walls what the FUCK

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D: babe?
T: ya?
D: no the other one
R: ya?
D: no fuck u guys I meant my boyfriend
T: oh ya, that clears it up. now we know which one u mean.

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D: Honesty Kaldur just said "I keep my face in a constant neutral expression to hide the equally constant internal screaming" and I felt it in my soul

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T: I'm going to sleep right here
T: Right here is good
R: Have a nice nap at 3:15 in the afternoon
T: its that late?
W: To clarify he's on top of me someone's pls help I love my sad sleepy child but I'm stuck

---- [T -> D] ----

T: Dickie
D: No.
T: Dickie
D: No
T: D i c k i e
D: For the last time, Timmy, no
D: You are not becoming Robin
D: I get that you want to be close to Jason, and I'm here for you, but being Robin is dangerous and neither me nor Bruce are gonna put you in a position to get hurt
T: I'm already hurt, Dickie. He left his mask for me, you know what that means
D: Come up to my room, Timmy
T: I don't want to
D: Timmy, you know better than anyone that the last thing Jason would ever want is you to get hurt. I'm doing the same thing he would have done
T: It's not just about him, Dickie!! You've seen what Bruce is like, even Clark can't get through to him. He needs a Robin and I already have the training
T: I won't get hurt, I promise
D: No, Timmy. It's not happening
D: If you won't come to me, tell me where you are
T: The roof
D: I'm on my way, ok?
T: ok

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