» Chapter 49

127 16 26
                                                  

---- [T -> J] ----

J: Every day I wake up and do my silly little tasks

----

T: We counted all the cows on Kent farm :)
J: how do you count cows?
T: with a cowculator

----

J: Sorry I called you a "fucking idiot" I was trying to flirt

----

T: The best part of grocery shopping is seeing what kind of fucked up new shit the psychopaths at Oreos have come up with

----

J: I was put on this earth to commit identity theft and spread the truth

----

T: Inventor of cursive: what if the letters held hands

----

J: My Uber driver almost crashed twice. 5 stars. Very exciting.

----

T: Dracula giving his son "the talk": you see, when two or more monsters love each other very much-
T: His son: they do the mash
T: Dracula, nodding: They do the monster mash

----

J: pls I can hear you playing 100 gecs in ur room from the kitchen
T: And it slaps, your point?

----

T: Do you ever just [i felt my existence was tainted in some subtle but essential way] [a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs] [beauty is terror, whatever we call beautiful we quiver before it] [forgive me, for all the things I did, but mostly for the ones I did not] [to live / to live forever] [love doesn't conquer everything. and whoever thinks it does is a fool] [anything is grand if it's done on a large enough scale] [it is dangerous to ignore the existence of the irrational] [I prefer to think of it as redistribution of matter]

---- [Proof God is dead] ----

T: So I wanted to address a question I got the other night really quickly
T: um, yes, in this household Dumb Bitch hours are 24/7, but so are Gay Clown hours and Sad Boi hours. I am a triple threat and this is your full stop shop

----

T: Laws are threats made by the dominant socio-economic ethnic group in a given nation. It's just a promise of violence that's enacted and police are basically an occupying army, yaknow what I mean?
T: Anyway what do you guys want for breakfast?

----

D: Your privileges are revoked!
T: you CANT revoke my privileges
D: Your privileges are rescinded!!
T:
T: hey Siri define rescinded
T: THEY'RE NOT YOURS TO RESCIND!!

----

J: Does everyone understand the plan I explained off screen?
T: I don't see myself on this map
J: Oh yeah your over here looking like a sour bitch as usual
T: Thank you, it's accurate
J: Your welcome, I worked very hard on it

----

D: STAY SHARP SUPPORTING CAST

----

T: Now, is everyone for operation KCALDHE?
J: Operation what?
T: Keep Calm And Let Dickie Handle Everything
T: Though I guess the ol op-code needs an addendum for our current roster
T: Freak The Fuck Out Dickie's Not Here To Carry The Team

Left On Read // Book TwoWhere stories live. Discover now