» Chapter 24

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---- [T -> J] ----

T: Ah, yes, the 20's
T: What a time to be alive
J: It's only been 2020 for like three months
T: I meant the 1920's
T: When I wasn't alive
T: I wish it were the 1920's

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J: I love sleeping in guest bedrooms. They're always just a Little Off
J: Blanket tucked in too tight. Headboard is too cold. Fan is a little too loud. It's incredible

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T: I am fucking done
T: just throw me in the lake and leave me there to drown
J: We don't throw garbage in the water, Timmy. That's pollution.

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T: Oh hey u guys r back early
J: Moons haunted
T: Wha?
J: Moons haunted.

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J: The cave in on fire, you have 60 seconds. What do you take?
T: A nap

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T: what do you want
J: Bruce is having a gala tonight and your coming
T: No the fuck I ain't
J: Fine then, I'll just invite that guy from our AP History class who always flirts with me
T: that isn't going to work on me, Jay
T: also his name is Sam you stupid fuck
J: Or maybe the girl from your AP science class
T: Cody? Good choice. Her hair is very red; Dickie will approve
J: No wait- I know who my final choice is
T: surprise me
J: Steph was always my second choice as an i/s
T: i/s?
J: Insignificant other
T: ah
T: anyway, Roy's always been pretty hot, do you think Dickie would be mad if I borrowed him for the night?
J: Do you really want to play this game?
T: Sorry, don't have time to play with you, Roy's coming over

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J: Everyone keeps asking who my date is
T: I bet they are
T: Roy took me to the beach and now we're mocking your dumb Instagram posts
J: So you're having fun, that's nice
T: Yeah but I gotta go, Roy's got alcohol and popsicles in his tesla and I can think of two (2) uses for both of those things- don't let Steph talk you into doing anything I wouldn't do ;)

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T: All I want to do is love everybody but everybody makes it hard by being suuuuuper annoying

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J: I have Spotify right here on my computer. Do you want me to blast you?
J: Do you want me to put you on blast? 'Cause I got your history right here in the sidebar;
J: "Take It Back" by Jimmy Buffett;
J: "Nautical Wheelers" by Jimmy Buffett;
J: "Jolly Mon Sing" by Jimmy Buffett.
J: "Steamer" by Jimmy Buffett!
J: "Treat Her Like A Lady" by Jimmy Buffett!
J: "Mañana" by Jimmy Buffett!
J: "When Salome Plays The Drum" by James Buffett!
J: "Havana Daydreaming" by Jimmy Buffett!
J: What the fuck happened to you? Are you HAUNTED? Are you fucking POSSESSED? YOU USED TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!
T: I had a case of the Mondays!

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T: where r u going?
J: Well, all that's left in my life now is despair

-—

J: Why do I like you again?
T: Cause I'm smart?
J: I walked in on you with your face pressed against the microwave window at three in the morning saying "All right fucker where's my mac and cheese I want answers"
J: You call that smart?

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