» Chapter 18

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---- [T -> J] ----

J: The worst part about being taken into the Wayne family is that I'm now considered part of the 1%
J: I have become the very thing I claim to despise
T: two things
T: 1) this is why you always lose at monopoly
T: 2) a few years ago a reporter asked Dickie a political question abt how he felt abt being raised by an "enabler of capitalism in its most blatant form" and Dickie sorta rolled his eyes and then right before he entered the press-free zone he looked back over his should and said "Bruce is a socialist," and the media didn't shut up about it for weeks

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T: I was flipping through one of Bruce's old Gotham Academy year books and I found this old poem??
T: Now I lay me down to study, / I pray the Lord I won't go nutty, / If I should fail to learn this junk, / I pray the Lord, I will not flunk. / But if I do, don't shed a tear; just put a rose behind my ear. / Tell my teacher I did my best, / then pile my books upon my chest. / If I should die before I wake, / That's one less test I'll have to take. - Suffering Student
J: Legend

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J: I only left you alone for a few hours... How were you immediately arrested and sentenced to death?

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T: YOU DIDNT TELL IM ID BOIL HIS MOLARS AND FILL HIS SINUSES WITH ASS JUICE AND THESE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES

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J: I've always known you were stupid, but not this stupid
T: No really, I'm this stupid
T: And if u don't believe me, watch

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T: Hey have I mentioned I would die for one (1) Wilbur Soot
J: yes, many times over

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J: Where did you learn to juggle like that? I didn't even know you could catch
T: saw Dickie do it on tv once like seven months ago

---- [All the single ladies] ----

D: Fuck you guys. Your beautiful.
W: Awww, fuck you too

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D: Wally come'ere
W: Sure, Dick
J: It's actually Dickiebird so shut the fuck up
D: This is so sad, Timmy play Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo

---- [T -> J] ----

J: Just walked in on Dickie cleaning under his nails with a dagger??
T: That's Wack he passed the vibe check so

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T: I like wearing all black to mourn the death of my patience.

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J: Dickie's out with Wally and Roy trying not to have a meltdown around his two gay lovers, Alfred is grocery shopping, and Bruce is walking around all "I don't have feelings, just muscles"
J: If you don't get your ass over here I'm going to lose my fucking mind
T: I dunno, Jay, I'm kinda busy
J: Yeah? You know crying because you hate yourself and watching Bojack doesn't actually count as "busy," right?
T: ....im on my way

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T: r u watching the news rn??
T: Vandalism
J: This villain ripped a hole through the fabric of our dimension and the best you can come up with is vandalism?

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